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Original poster

Dear people who were parents of toddlers in lockdown

206 replies

jallopeno · 02/09/2023 19:40

How on earth did you manage?!!

I'm so sorry. I don't think I realised how much of a struggle it must have been. Hope you're doing OK.

OP posts:
Bunnyhair · 02/09/2023 20:41

God it was awful.

GlasgowGal82 · 02/09/2023 20:42

I had a two year old and a five year old and OH and I were both expected to continue working (in fact I was working harder than ever). I am still bitter about it and my MH is only just recovering.

MercurialMargot · 02/09/2023 20:42

I appreciate the acknowledgement 🤣 we had a two year old and a newborn. It was an experience.

SarahAndQuack · 02/09/2023 20:42

I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, OP, but honestly, lockdown was a piece of piss.

I had a non-sleeping baby/young toddler just before lockdown, and I was working full time with very little transport or nursery care, and it was very, very, very hard. (And before anyone starts to ask about my employer, I was freelancing for a fair bit of this time.)

During lockdown I had an older toddler. I'm sure that part of what made it much easier was that she was older, of course. But it was also much easier because suddenly, people accepted that you might be needing (shock horror!) to be flexible about things. You might not be able to get to certain places. You might have to do a skype meeting. Etc. It made it so, SO much easier!

SpideyWoman1 · 02/09/2023 20:42

I didn’t. I got depression and anxiety and still battle it now.

Stormydayagain · 02/09/2023 20:42

notahappybunny7 · 02/09/2023 20:41

Al of those things opened after about 3 months?

Show quote history

I’m in wales the hard lockdown lasted a lot longer here. Mumsnet is not just England.

misskellyb · 02/09/2023 20:43

I had a 15 month old as a single parent. I already had health anxiety and post natal depression, so my anxiety was through the roof. It was the most isolating time ever. Just me, a toddler and my declining mental health. In the beginning I was scared to even take the hour a day exercise, so we were in, alone, all day, every day. Luckily he was young enough for me to half arsed watch tiger king during the day and make regretful cringe tik toks. Despite it all, he was still the most smiley little boy ever, which in all honesty was what got me through. He learnt to walk in that time so I do have that fond memory, and the quality time we spent together. But all in all it was awful, I feel guilty he missed out on the last couple of months of my grandad being alive as we couldn't see each other due to lockdown rules and to top it all off, I couldn't even wipe my arse as there was no toilet roll ANYWHERE. Shit times.

wutheringkites · 02/09/2023 20:44

My son turned 1 two months before the first lockdown. My partner worked full time and I worked 4 days a week, both from home. We lived in a 2 bed flat.

It was mostly awful - my mental and physical health went to absolute shit.

SpideyWoman1 · 02/09/2023 20:44

I will add - I wasn’t eligible for furlough, employer wouldn’t let me go unpaid and couldn’t access childcare. DH was a key worker, I wasnt - so he worked long hours outside of the home and I was left juggling a manic 1 year old and my work. It was hell on earth. My boss suggested I get a play pen. I was so miserable I sobbed everyday.

ludocris · 02/09/2023 20:45

DS turned 2 just after lockdown began. Tbh in retrospect it wasn't a bad age for it - if he'd been a year older it would have been harder as he'd have been missing friends and nursery more. At 2 he didn't really mind where he was as long as there was something to do, and was happy to go for walks in the countryside and toddle about. It also helped his speaking a lot I think, as we were suddenly all together at home. The downside was I think his emotional development took a bit of a hit, and he was still pulling epic tantrums when he started school, but he's getting there now.

niclw · 02/09/2023 20:45

Single parent here. I had an 18 month old at the start of lockdown. I was still working but not in quite the same way. I did most of it in the evenings and then had an iPad in the garden/with me to reply to msgs. My DC had been slow to start talking but totally stopped attempting to say words until nearly 9 months later. Like a previous poster mentioned things are still pretty raw for me. I love seeing the photos and videos of my DC from back then but then the memories hit and I well up. Being a household of only one adult and a non verbal DC was difficult.

SpideyWoman1 · 02/09/2023 20:47

Oh and if you’re still following I got pregnant and had an ectopic pregnancy in the middle 😢

Original poster
jallopeno · 02/09/2023 20:47

SarahAndQuack · 02/09/2023 20:42

I'm sure this isn't what you want to hear, OP, but honestly, lockdown was a piece of piss.

I had a non-sleeping baby/young toddler just before lockdown, and I was working full time with very little transport or nursery care, and it was very, very, very hard. (And before anyone starts to ask about my employer, I was freelancing for a fair bit of this time.)

During lockdown I had an older toddler. I'm sure that part of what made it much easier was that she was older, of course. But it was also much easier because suddenly, people accepted that you might be needing (shock horror!) to be flexible about things. You might not be able to get to certain places. You might have to do a skype meeting. Etc. It made it so, SO much easier!

That's good to hear - it sounds like if you had a really understanding employer

OP posts:
Original poster
jallopeno · 02/09/2023 20:48

SpideyWoman1 · 02/09/2023 20:47

Oh and if you’re still following I got pregnant and had an ectopic pregnancy in the middle 😢

So sorry

OP posts:
Original poster
jallopeno · 02/09/2023 20:49

Thank you all for sharing I've read each post I hope you feel seen.

OP posts:
niclw · 02/09/2023 20:49

I forgot to add that going to the supermarket was the absolute worst. I got glared at and comments made because I'd taken my DC with me. I didn't want him in a trolley so I packed as much shopping into the basket of the pushchair, plus two bags hanging off my arms. I left the supermarket in tears every single time as I knew I was putting my son at risk. And queuing to get in with an 18 month old was a nightmare unless DC was asleep.

LBOCS2 · 02/09/2023 20:53

KateyCuckoo · 02/09/2023 20:11

You're being really weird! Toddlers are happy with their family and their home, extra lucky if you had a garden with all that lovely weather. Try getting through it with teens, home schooling, mental health, can't see friends, get first jobs, start driving lessons. Screwed over when it came to exams and uni... toddlers in comparison were easy! I'm a childminder, I did both!

Only if they have attention to make sure it's safe and some sort of level of interaction and you know, it's part of your job to spend time with them.

We went into lockdown with a 3yo, a 6yo and a 12yo. We both have jobs which involve significant people management, and had to be present for our teams within working hours. Neither of us were furloughed. It was a fucking nightmare. No one got the best of us, particularly the smallest who was supposed to be in nursery and reception during this period and weren't able to just stop what we were doing and coach her through whatever learning task she'd been set.

SarahAndQuack · 02/09/2023 20:53

jallopeno · 02/09/2023 20:47

That's good to hear - it sounds like if you had a really understanding employer

Show quote history

No, not at all - in fact they were sued by various colleagues! It was just amazing how, during covid, people suddenly started accepting that parents of babies/toddlers could actually manage to be useful employees, even if that meant remote working or flexible working.

It's made me furious how many companies have now gone over to flexible/remote working to some extent, because covid made them realise it was possible. Working parents have been begging for this for years!

wutheringkites · 02/09/2023 20:54

This about sums it up.



wafflingworrier · 02/09/2023 20:54

I really appreciate this thread. I still look back on that time and want to cry, and every time I hear people talk about their idyllic first sunny lockdown I feel really angry.
It was awful, truly awful.

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 02/09/2023 20:55

I had 3 year old twins and I felt like I had gotten off lightly when I spoke to my friends with school aged kids. Home schooling different ages would have driven me around the bend. Watching Peppa Pig, going for an hours exercise in the local park on scooters and afternoon sleeps... I felt lucky. Yes, there were hard days but still.

Blughbablugh · 02/09/2023 20:55

blutterfly · 02/09/2023 19:50

I had a 2yr old and a feisty 5yr old, and both of us worked full time.

Im still surprised to this day how we managed tbh

Similar. I had a 3 year old at the time and we both worked from home. It was hell and felt so much guilt that I wasn't giving enough attention to either my DD or my job and felt pulled in different directions. My mental health took a nose dive during that time.

onwardandupwards · 02/09/2023 20:56

I had a 15 month old and gave birth a week after lock down started, it was so so hard, no visitors, missed my family so much, my then 20 year old daughter was amazing and definitely pulled us through. Was difficult not doing usual things, keeping away from people, I'm glad my toddler won't remember

Stormydayagain · 02/09/2023 20:57

Hillsmakeyoustrong · 02/09/2023 20:55

I had 3 year old twins and I felt like I had gotten off lightly when I spoke to my friends with school aged kids. Home schooling different ages would have driven me around the bend. Watching Peppa Pig, going for an hours exercise in the local park on scooters and afternoon sleeps... I felt lucky. Yes, there were hard days but still.

My DD stopped napping at 23 months and then we went into lockdown 2 months later. I was so jealous of all my friends whose toddlers still napped. However, the sunny evenings from 7pm onwards, when dd went to bed, were lovely.

PonkyPonky · 02/09/2023 20:59

I had a 2.5yr old when lockdown started. I chose to neglect work to prioritise my child. I ended up working during naps and at night and doing the absolute bare minimum during the day. We took looooong walks in the mornings so he’d be tired in the afternoon. It was really bloody hard though. I felt like I was just crap at everything. I have incredible memories of our time together though. Much more happy ones than stressed out ones. I was more thankful I didn’t have a school age child. Home school looked like it would be harder than keeping a toddler busy