I can’t take her to her friends party can I?

[MissingOutAgain]

7 year old DD.

Has a cold I think.

No temperature, negative LFT, slight cough but she is asthmatic. Very snotty.

She’s fine in herself, eating and drinking fine, but very very snotty, blowing her nose and sneezing a lot. She’s been to school today but was sent home after lunch due to the snotty nose, told to test her.

She’s had covid over Christmas and was really ill with it, ended up in hospital for 48 hours and has only just gone back to school full time (since half term). She’s also only just returned to her activities and is still on medication due to effects of covid.

I can’t take her to her friends party tomorrow can I? She’s so excited and so desperate to go but I don’t think the other parents would appreciate it. Yet again her poor immune system means she’s missing out.

Just moaning as it always seems to be when she’s looking forward to something she gets ill. She missed a school trip last half term due to her recovering from covid, and she loves her activities as well and her friends.

But I’ll do the right thing.

A snotty child does not mean that child has a steaming cold fgs!
People can be snotty/cough from allergies like hay-fever for example, should they stay in home all through the warmer months just to appease the judgemental know-betters who diagnose on sight?

This just isn’t true. It’s always been unkind and anti social to attend social functions with contagious diseases. Nobody wants your streaming cold. Just stay at home and keep it to yourself.

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Back in the real world if someone has a runny nose but otherwise feels fine most people will go out and get on with their day.

Someone coughing and spluttering and feeling really unwell isn't the same as just a runny nose.

People can be snotty/cough from allergies like hay-fever for example, should they stay in home all through the warmer months just to appease the judgemental know-betters who diagnose on sight?

The OPs child doesn’t have hay fever though does she? She was sent home from school because her symptoms were so bad. OP describes it as very very snotty, blowing her nose and sneezing a lot..

If the symptoms of this cold also are extreme enough for school to have to send her home, they are likely to cause similar outcomes to those she infects. How many days education do you want missed by your friends and classmates, let alone their siblings/parents/contacts. It’s just silly. Reduce the transmission and move on.

@5zeds

People can be snotty/cough from allergies like hay-fever for example, should they stay in home all through the warmer months just to appease the judgemental know-betters who diagnose on sight?

The OPs child doesn’t have hay fever though does she? She was sent home from school because her symptoms were so bad. OP describes it as very very snotty, blowing her nose and sneezing a lot..

If the symptoms of this cold also are extreme enough for school to have to send her home, they are likely to cause similar outcomes to those she infects. How many days education do you want missed by your friends and classmates, let alone their siblings/parents/contacts. It’s just silly. Reduce the transmission and move on.

@5zeds She has hayfever and is also slightly allergic to some fabrics found in clothes.

She's been absolutely fine over night, not a single sneeze or cough. Was very snotty this morning but I gave her cetirizine which she has on prescription and she's loads better. It's bright sunny but cold here so either some fabric or pollen has triggered her.

The parent said if she's negative this morning to let her go to the party as her own DDs the same and she also thinks it's a cold and they very likely caught it from the same source, school so just doing an LFT now.

I did say the HT sends home for any symptom and even she seemed to be wavering yesterday about sending her, but said she needed to due to "policy"

[quote Mrsmch123]@Wellbythebloodyhell I wouldn't want a snottery kid at my child's birthday party. There is a difference between a cold and allergies so if it's allergies all good give her a antihistamine and send her but if it's a cold then no thanks![/quote]
I agree with this. Our family have had covid, one family member after the other and have missed school / work / activities / socialising as a family on and off for the better part of 6 weeks.

I'd be quite fucked off if dc caught a streaming cold because a child who is very snotty and sneezy count miss one birthday party. I wouldn't put the onus on the poor party mum. It's different at school, there is more space and they don't mingle quite as much as at a small party.

@MissingOutAgain So is it a cold or an allergy? If she has a cold keep her home if not send her to the party.

I wouldn't even think twice about sending her.

My Son is constantly coming home from nursery with a cold or sickness bug of some kind. If parents kept their kids off every time they had a cold they would never get any work done.

As others have said, test her again about an hour before leaving and if it's still negative let her enjoy the party. I was that child that caught everything going and recurrent chest infections, it was rubbish always having to stay at home.

I'm an adult and wouldn't not go to a party because I had the sniffles - I also wouldn't expect anyone to not come to a party I was hosting because of a cold if they wanted to and felt well enough to come

[quote 5zeds]@MissingOutAgain So is it a cold or an allergy? If she has a cold keep her home if not send her to the party.[/quote]
@5zeds It could be either, the birthday child is the same according to her mum so could be a cold but DD does also have allergies so it could be those.

If it’s a cold why send her to a party? If the birthday child is ill why volunteer for that cold, especially if your child gets these things more severely than others? Surely if the last few years have taught anything it’s that infection can be stopped by not sharing it?

Just out of interest, for the people who are saying they wouldn't want a kid with a cold at their party, if your child had a cold but was fine in themselves on their own party day, would you cancel as to not spread it to the guests?

@bigred22 if it was mild I’d contact guests and explain and let them choose. We had to postpone once because of D&V everyone was fine with it and just came a couple of weeks later.

Take her to the party! Honestly, I wouldn't expect you to stay away if it was my kid's party or I was a guest at a party. Like others have said she's been at school anyway with them, will be on Monday and has had a - ve test. Our school wouldn't have even sent home for snottiness or they'd have half the year off at least all the time!

Stop sending ill children to school and parties. Sorry but I do judge folk sending in snotty, tired looking children. Give the child a chance to rest.

I’m genuinely really amused at poster who think children (& adults) should stay at home with colds. 🤣 what a weird approach to take to a cold. Can you imagine if as a teacher of EYFS, I’d have said sorry, staying at home today cos I’ve got a cold & I don’t want to pass it on. I’d have been laughed out of a job 😂 and safe to say the nursery & reception kids I worked with all came to school with streaming noses, coughs, sneezes.

I swear people on here do not live remotely in the real world at all. We all get ill, live goes on.

@Zolla

I’m genuinely really amused at poster who think children (& adults) should stay at home with colds. 🤣 what a weird approach to take to a cold. Can you imagine if as a teacher of EYFS, I’d have said sorry, staying at home today cos I’ve got a cold & I don’t want to pass it on. I’d have been laughed out of a job 😂 and safe to say the nursery & reception kids I worked with all came to school with streaming noses, coughs, sneezes.

I swear people on here do not live remotely in the real world at all. We all get ill, live goes on.

I completely agree.

There are some absolute mard arses where i work that stay at home for a sniffle and runny nose and I can only imagine they were brought up by parents that didn't let them leave the house over such minor things.

If you have a serious/contagious illness (flu, fever, chicken pox, covid, norovirus, hand foot and mouth) then yes you should stay at home until you are well and no longer contagious.

A runny nose and the odd sneeze really isn't a reason to stay at home if you feel well otherwise.

Leaving the house isn’t a problem. Gifting a streaming cold to your class/friends is. Are you advocating not washing your hands and sneezing generously in peoples faces too? Ffs surely you understand how infections happen.

Op hasn't said it's just a runny nose though. She's said "very very snotty" and "sneezing a lot" , I personally wouldn't want a kid at a party who was that snotty, and I wouldn't send my kid to a party if they were like that too.

I know you can't avoid colds, everyone gets them, part of life, can't lock the world down etc BUT it's selfish to go if you're THAT snotty. And might mean the other kids miss a day at school or get sent home because of it.

I'm probably biased though, I hate colds. Whenever I get one I get watery eyes, people think I'm crying, I get a weird gum thing where they sort of ache (only above my two front teeth) and nothing helps that, oh. And I always lose my sense of taste and smell! So I really don't like them and would avoid spreading if possible.

I do have two toddlers so I am more likely to get colds now, and I do. But if they are very very snotty I don't usually meet up with toddler friends!

@Zolla

I’m genuinely really amused at poster who think children (& adults) should stay at home with colds. 🤣 what a weird approach to take to a cold. Can you imagine if as a teacher of EYFS, I’d have said sorry, staying at home today cos I’ve got a cold & I don’t want to pass it on. I’d have been laughed out of a job 😂 and safe to say the nursery & reception kids I worked with all came to school with streaming noses, coughs, sneezes.

I swear people on here do not live remotely in the real world at all. We all get ill, live goes on.

Thank you Zolla! So glad to have sensible EYFS teachers like you and my child's teacher too. There are always some snotty/coughing children in my kid's year and there has been all the way through the pandemic. Children do need to be exposed to germs! We don't live in a sterile world

There are always some snotty/coughing children in my kid's year so change your behaviour and get a different outcome

Nobody needs to court germs. Just practice basic common sense, avoid spreading illness, and practice good hygiene.

She went to the party after a 2nd negative test, of the 10 children there, 8 were from DDs class and all bar 1 of those 8 had some sort of cough/cold.

She's mostly cleared up this morning, still blowing her nose a bit but mostly over it.

She does get quite ill from stuff but that's also part of life. I'd rather she got ill now in Year 3 than not take her out and then her get everything in Year 11 when it's important she doesn't miss anything.

@MissingOutAgain glad you took her OP - she can't not do things because of a cold (honestly shocked at the amount of people that wouldn't leave their house with a common cold - if only work places accepted that eh!) especially when she's ill a lot and probably already misses enough.

Hope she had a good day!

Nobody suggested “not leaving the house” though did they? What was said was don’t take your sick child to a birthday party. Most work places would suggest working from home if you’re infectious but ok. In parts of the Far East it is good manners to wear a face mask if you feel unwell and need to go to work.

Most work places would suggest working from home if you’re infectious

Really?

Where have you been working where you’ve been encouraged fo stay home and nurse a cold?

I think we’d all love to get a job there!

Not a single one of the companies I’ve worked for would encourage this. Quite the opposite. You’d find yourself explaining your sickness record to HR and be told to pull your socks up, or else. This is the City, though, with a strong work ethic / face time culture. Other places may be more relaxed. I’d love to know what they are, I’d be turning cartwheels if I could stay home and be paid for having a cold.

I guess it depends if you CAN work from home effectively. It’s interesting that it would make the job significantly more attractive to you. Thanks for that.