Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

I can’t take her to her friends party can I?

116 replies

MissingOutAgain · 04/03/2022 18:14

7 year old DD.

Has a cold I think.

No temperature, negative LFT, slight cough but she is asthmatic. Very snotty.

She’s fine in herself, eating and drinking fine, but very very snotty, blowing her nose and sneezing a lot. She’s been to school today but was sent home after lunch due to the snotty nose, told to test her.

She’s had covid over Christmas and was really ill with it, ended up in hospital for 48 hours and has only just gone back to school full time (since half term). She’s also only just returned to her activities and is still on medication due to effects of covid.

I can’t take her to her friends party tomorrow can I? Sad She’s so excited and so desperate to go but I don’t think the other parents would appreciate it. Yet again her poor immune system means she’s missing out.

Just moaning as it always seems to be when she’s looking forward to something she gets ill. She missed a school trip last half term due to her recovering from covid, and she loves her activities as well and her friends.

But I’ll do the right thing.

OP posts:
Whyisitsodifficult · 04/03/2022 21:45

Of course she can go if she feels well enough. This is how you would have acted pre COVID!

Sleepdeprived42long · 04/03/2022 21:46

Honest to goodness, since COVID so many people have turned into germophobes. If your child’s anything like mines if you keep them in every time they get a cold they’ll hardly go anywhere! Never mind the education they’ll miss!

If she’s not feeling well enough to go to the party, keep her off in the same way you would have done pre COVID. Don’t keep her off it though just cause she’s got a cold and you’re worried about what people think and that she might pass it to someone. The common cold is a harmless virus!

Original poster
MissingOutAgain · 04/03/2022 21:49

@Sleepdeprived42long

Honest to goodness, since COVID so many people have turned into germophobes. If your child’s anything like mines if you keep them in every time they get a cold they’ll hardly go anywhere! Never mind the education they’ll miss!

If she’s not feeling well enough to go to the party, keep her off in the same way you would have done pre COVID. Don’t keep her off it though just cause she’s got a cold and you’re worried about what people think and that she might pass it to someone. The common cold is a harmless virus!

@Sleepdeprived42long She's honestly absolutely fine, bouncing round the playground at school, ate all her food, couldn't really understand why she had to miss library time in school. She was happily playing with her toys when she got home, was more than happy to walk to the shop.

No temperature, doesn't even feel slightly warm
Negative LFT
Slight cough but could be allergies or temperature changes as she's asthmatic

I think I'll lft her and if negative give her some antihistamines in case it's allergies and see how she goes

OP posts:
TheYearOfSmallThings · 04/03/2022 21:51

Check with the party mum - around here everyone would say to bring her.

boyblue · 04/03/2022 21:52

No one I know would give this a second thought. Crack on as normal. As long as she want to go

YouMadeABear · 04/03/2022 21:58

I'd send her if she's up to it tbh. DD has been at school all week with a cold. I've been at work all week with a cold. We're both going out tomorrow Confused

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/03/2022 22:20

TotalRhubarb

TotalRhubarb

How would you feel, were it your child’s party and the guests turned up with colds?

“It would just be business as usual. Kids always have colds.”

Are your kids brittle asthmatics?

Mrsmch123 · 04/03/2022 22:27

Yeah don't be that parent that sends the clearly sick/full of the cold child to a birthday party🙅‍♀️

Wellbythebloodyhell · 04/03/2022 22:41

@Mrsmch123

Yeah don't be that parent that sends the clearly sick/full of the cold child to a birthday party🙅‍♀️
Shes not clearly sick though is she, as OP has stated her dd is perfectly well in herself, had been running around with as normal with her peers and is eating and drinking as normal. What she's suffering from is side effects of a non contagious condition that millions of us struggle with day in day out
Mrsmch123 · 04/03/2022 22:54

@Wellbythebloodyhell I wouldn't want a snottery kid at my child's birthday party. There is a difference between a cold and allergies so if it's allergies all good give her a antihistamine and send her but if it's a cold then no thanks!

Wellbythebloodyhell · 04/03/2022 23:00

[quote Mrsmch123]@Wellbythebloodyhell I wouldn't want a snottery kid at my child's birthday party. There is a difference between a cold and allergies so if it's allergies all good give her a antihistamine and send her but if it's a cold then no thanks![/quote]
Tell me how you'd know the difference between allergy snot and cold snot, antihistamine doesn't completely stop the snot you know it just helps to alleviate the worst of it, so tell me how you would differentiate if a snotty child turned up at your dc party?

TotalRhubarb · 04/03/2022 23:03

No, my DD isn’t asthmatic. She does have multiple allergies and an over-reactive immune system that sees her spike a 40 degree temperature and be vomiting from bugs that other kids feel only mildly . DH is CEV because of severe asthma. He was shielded.

I still don’t think we can keep every kid at home with every sniffle (and neither does DH), it’s just not feasible. They wouldn’t get an education and parents wouldn’t be able to hold down a job. Most if not all of the parents I know feel the same, judging by the fact kids with colds are in school every day. DD’s school are very hot on attendance and frown on absence for no good reason. They don’t allow authorise time off for every sniffle.

It’s shit for those asthmatics who can be badly affected by otherwise innocuous bugs, but I don’t see a viable alternative.

TotalRhubarb · 04/03/2022 23:07

Sorry, that was in response to MrsSkylerWhite.

Tbf, if there were a child unusually susceptible to the common cold in DD’s class, I would have a lower bar for keeping her away from things when snotty, but that isn’t the case.

MrsSkylerWhite · 04/03/2022 23:10

It’s shit for those asthmatics who can be badly affected by otherwise innocuous bugs, but I don’t see a viable alternative.“

The alternative is, don’t send your snotty kids to a party. Isn’t that just obvious?

Mariposista · 04/03/2022 23:10

Let the poor kid go. She’s had covid and she’s negative. She’s missed out on enough to care about ‘what other people think’.

TotalRhubarb · 04/03/2022 23:16

The alternative is, don’t send your snotty kids to a party. Isn’t that just obvious?

Well no, it isn’t ‘obvious’ when they’ve been in the same classroom all day together the day previously, no! What difference will it make?

Plus absolutely no need to shield other children from cold bugs unless they’re immune compromised. Why would you? Better to build up their immunity when young, generally speaking. Like I said up thread. If there was a particularly vulnerable child in the group that would put a different spin on things. Otherwise, I’d be cracking on. Can’t spend half the year isolating at home. Not for a cold.

feministqueen · 04/03/2022 23:18

You're over thinking this @MissingOutAgain

Having a cold doesn't = isolate

She's either well enough to go or she's not. You don't need to keep her home because she's got a cold.

5zeds · 04/03/2022 23:24

Mine don’t go to parties if they have a snot streaming cold. What sort of present is that to give all her friends? Confused

Mrsmch123 · 05/03/2022 01:51

@Wellbythebloodyhell I would expect the parent to know the difference tbh and again not send their cold filled child to my kids birthday party!!

AnnesBrokenSlate · 05/03/2022 02:02

It's a school party so they'll all know she was sent home sick from school to ensure she didn't pass it on to other DCs. You can't then take her to a party. If you take her and the other DCs then get symptoms, they'll get sent home from school next week. Then they have to go through the testing process. It's really selfish to even think of sending her.

poppupppirate · 05/03/2022 02:25

I would take her and say absolutely nothing about it.

If she did need to frequently blow her nose or sneeze etc I would just breezily say oh she's been tested and is negative (and recently had covid too) she's just getting over a cold and leave it at that.

Before covid nobody would have made a kid that felt perfectly fine miss out on something over a snotty nose. I wouldn't bat an eyelid over a kid with a bit of a cold.

SecretDoor · 05/03/2022 07:47

Go to a pharmacy and buy a decongestant spray with xylometazoline in, or some oral pseudoephedrine over the counter. They are licensed for the over 6 year olds. Either will reduce the snottiness for the duration of the party

5zeds · 05/03/2022 07:55

Before covid nobody would have made a kid that felt perfectly fine miss out on something over a snotty nose.

This just isn’t true. It’s always been unkind and anti social to attend social functions with contagious diseases. Nobody wants your streaming cold. Just stay at home and keep it to yourself.

MrsSkylerWhite · 05/03/2022 08:05

TotalRhubarb

The alternative is, don’t send your snotty kids to a party. Isn’t that just obvious?

Well no, it isn’t ‘obvious’ when they’ve been in the same classroom all day together the day previously, no! What difference will it make?

They ought not to have been in school with a streaming cold, either.

Chocomelon · 05/03/2022 08:12

If it was just a runny nose I'd say take her but I'd not want another child there sneezing and coughing and passing things on - I'd have said this before covid too.

It's interesting how divided posters are on the topic though.

OP you could ask the parents but be sure to
mention she is sneezing and coughing.

My GP said a lot of people are getting covid again in a short space of time too.