Annoyed that masks can be a way that people are judged

[Twattergy]

I went to a hairdresser today. All staff wearing masks. I asked on entry ' do you require me to wear a mask?' and receptionist said 'no we can't force you to, it's up to you'. So I didn't put one on. I had one with me, but now it isn't mandatory, I made my choice based on fact that I have been tripled jabbed and recovered from covid 2 weeks ago. I kept having the urge to tell the staff 'I have been tripled jabbed and recently recovered from covid which is the main reason I'm not wearing a mask'..but I thought why should I have to justify this? Any of the masked people in there could be unvaccinated, or even knowingly have symptoms of Covid, but because they are wearing a mask it is assumed they are doing 'the right thing'. And me in no mask, I think many people would assume I'm being anti social, when in fact I have been highly responsible with vaccination. I'm annoyed at the huge potential for judgements around mask wearing now that it isn't mandatory. (I would wear a mask where is is mandatory eg London transport or health care settings BTW I'm not a radical anti masker). Ifnyou were sat next to me in the hairdresser would you judge me? Would you want me to tell you I was fully vaxxed and recently recovered?

@2X4B523P

Further to the three countries, Finland recommends face masks but, from what I could see, have never been mandatory!

They did other things.

Eg. Norway only very recently fully reopened its border.

You want to be like the Scandi and Nordic countries, then that would require higher taxes for better public services including healthcare (I'm up for that).

Meanwhile why look to the poor science and lack of concern for the vulnerable as an example to follow? How about, if you want to be like other countries, you look at Austria. Vaccine mandate.

I'm not necessarily advocating for the same here, but if we're playing the what other countries are doing game...

Also, Ireland is a much closer neighbour than those other countries. We even share a border. Makes more sense to be like them.

I would either wear the mask, or explain that I was vaccinated and had recently had covid. Either of those would be reassuring for people around me and therefore the more courteous option.

Of course you don't have to, but there are no laws making you be polite in general, that doesn't mean it's not often the best thing to do.

I don't know about judging you - I'd think you were a bit inconsiderate, though, because deliberately not explaining seems a bit like saying you don't care if people are more concerned than they need to be.

So it sounds like you chose not to wear a mask and no one commented or said anything to you about this.

What you are saying is purely based on your own assumptions about what people might be thinking/ feeling. You can't read minds - try not to assume you know what people think.

Generally, when following the examples of others, it's best to do it for the good rather than the bad.

But also, like I said, if you want for be like the Scandinavian Nordic countries, then you can't pick and choose. It's very relevant for example their better healthcare systems - with more ICU beds per head.

A friend in Denmark says their hospitals are struggling. Full of Covid patients and demoralised burnt out staff, and still high cases and deaths. And that's with greater healthcare capacity than us.

But really it shouldn't matter whether it's mandated or not.

Mental health has been a big topic these last two years. A lot of talk about the need for empathy.

It doesn't need to be law, to have courtesy for others.

Aren’t we still encouraged to wear masks in enclosed spaces and when you are with people you don’t know. Hairdressers seem to fit that description

For example,I would take my shoes off in a house where the hosts wear no shoes. It makes no difference to me either way, mask on (keep majority of my exhaled breath contained), shoes off (reduce trampling outside dirt through their house). Others might prefer me to keep my shoes on (personally I feel uncomfortable traipsing my dirty soles through a house), and some might prefer not wearing a mask (can’t say I mind either way). I’d just try and read the situation and see if I could make people feel more comfortable without hindering myself - so yes, I would wear a mask in that situation.

No, I wouldn’t judge you. I am pleased to see people not wearing them anymore and don’t think you should feel guilty.

*Masks protect others mostly
Actually, if you get a well fitting N95 or FPP2 mask they are 95 per cent effective in protecting you as well as helping to protect others. Hence why these kinds on mask are used as PPE. An FPP3 mask is 99 per cent protective. I wear a mask to protect myself and my vulnerable family members. We are all vaccinated but they could still get poorly and I don’t want to risk passing it on to them. However, I tend to find that wearing a mask attracts more comments and abuse than not wearing one. I’ve certainly never questioned anyone not wearing a mask but have had plenty of comments directed at me for wearing one. Mostly people saying I’m scared or a coward, despite being a key worker and being exposed to covid on a daily basis.

You seem to be making a point that you are not judging people who are not wearing masks, whilst at the same time making subtle hints about how you judge people who are not vaccinated.

Well you're obviously not as happy with your choice as you might be, given how much effort you've taken explaining the whole damn fairly boring thing. Up to you what you do, obviously.

@wondersun

I’d judge you. Lots of new variants. The mask narrative in this country is crazy. It’s airborne, just wear a mask to protect others in indoor settings. It’s really not that hard.

Just this.

@Jacaranda75

Message deleted by MNHQ.

I'm really sorry to hear your DS is feeling so poorly, I hope he makes a quick recovery.

However, with respect, failing to wear a mask while coughing all over the shop is a completely different kettle of fish to not wearing one when you've recently recovered from Covid.

@Jacaranda75

My DS is currently very sick with Covid. We went to buy some stationery for school a couple of weeks back and a (mask less) man in the aisle we were in was coughing quite badly.

Sure enough, a few days later DS was diagnosed with Covid. He is very ill. Hasn’t eaten for 4 days and is delirious and sleep-walking every night. We are VERY worried about him.

Wear a mask you selfish twat.

So you haven't seen anybody else apart from when you went to this particular shop? This coughing man absolutely gave your DS Covid?

It definitely wasn't some friend or relative that definitely couldn't have Covid because they follow all the rules...?

Imagine feeling the need to make up alternate scenarios just so you could argue with a worried parent.

Good for you Girl!

Mask wearing is still advised and you can catch Covid again within a short time frame sadly. Given the numbers of people the staff must have to see to put food on the table, plenty of these could be less careful than you (and they don't know so it could make them constantly uneasy) or you could find yourself very surprised next week by a positive test, which would have consequences for them. So I understand you can't wear a mask forever and they certainly put no pressure on you to do so regardless of whatever personal position they might have. It's clear they're not allowed to have a personal position really if they want to earn a crust. My sympathy is with them and you're not actually even being asked to wear a mask. I do understand the difficult feelings though. We're all feeling them. It's no one's fault.

@allbartwo we had just returned from overseas and had completed our required tests and isolation. We literally took the DC out once (Thursday), then on Sunday we were contacted by Test & Trace naming the stationery shop as a possible exposure site. Both DH and myself remember this guy, even though we were walking around the shop separately. Anyway, both DC tested positive. DD recovered fairly quickly, alas DS is very ill and getting sicker. Oddly enough, DS is fully vaccinated and DD isn’t.

@cookiemonster2468

So it sounds like you chose not to wear a mask and no one commented or said anything to you about this.

What you are saying is purely based on your own assumptions about what people might be thinking/ feeling. You can't read minds - try not to assume you know what people think.

Absolutely this!

Why do you think people were judging you? Did someone say something or ask you to justify? Or is it anxiety?

Sounds like you asked a question, got an answer and made a choice (which would've been fine either way.)

@Twattergy

At a hairdressers, they must have been hit pretty hard by Covid and may be struggling to stay open as a business. They need to keep their staff healthy.

I would see them as the host, providing a service to me - so I would follow what their policy states.

The response you got was an ‘up to you’ - so you followed that really, so I don’t think you deserve judgement as such.

I think you were able to make a sensible judgement as to whether you needed to wear one or not, but others may unwittingly make a mistake - so it’s probably easier for them to have a blanket ‘wear one just in case’.

I’ve got Covid at the moment - and I had absolutely no idea I had it when I first tested positive. I only tested as my DD was positive. I’m triple jabbed.

The problem is - if a staff member gets it, they can’t work - and need to isolate for potentially 10 days. That’s really hard for the hairdresser as a business.

Consider yourself judged and convicted

I asked on entry ' do you require me to wear a mask?' and receptionist said 'no we can't force you to, it's up to you'.

I love subtitles. You were really saying, "I don't want to wear a mask" they were saying "we wish you would but we've been told we can't refuse". If you'd asked a different question, they would have been able to answer differently. But you didn't.

You might think it's performative and useless. But all the mask refuseniks I know are also vaccine refuseniks. So I assume, clearly wrongly, that people who don't care about feelings, don't care about science. But those things aren't always linked, in your case for example.

[quote Twattergy]@carrieblue you are missing the point completely. How do I know that someone wearing a mask has done the most important thing to protect me and others - namely to be fully vaccinated? I have done everything to protect them - I am fully vaccinated and also recently recovered from Covid. Putting a mask on now would make zero difference.[/quote]
Being fully vaccinated isn't the most important thing that someone can do to protect you and others.

An unvaccinated person could have been isolating and therefore know that it's not possible for them to have it.

They could have taken an antigen test just before going to the hairdressers, which although not 100% accurate still means more than vaccination status.

How recently have you recovered from covid? People seem to be getting reinfected with omicron after only a very short time.

I personally wouldn't judge you for the mask at all but I would for the "I'm vaccinated" superiority.

You say it's a small thing, but I've already done the BIG thing we can all do to make others safe, namely been fully vaccinated.

I knew a lot of vaccinated people with this attitude before Christmas when they were out socialising non stop (entirely their choice).

No, the BIG thing everyone could do to keep others safe was always to keep contacts to a minimum, that didn't change just because of vaccinations.

I know that that is not asked and expected of people anymore but before Christmas I was stunned by the amount of vaccinated people constantly partying and mixing with so many different groups at a time many of us were expecting a lockdown due to ICU figures. (I'm in Ireland)
The superiority, the hypocrisy, the horribleness directed at the unvaccinated (who weren't even allowed in the pubs and clubs) while they themselves were not behaving socially responsible at all.

It was just such mindless thinking.

I wouldn't judge you thinking you were anti-social for not wearing a mask at all, but if you told me you were vaccinated and recently recovered I would wonder if you were one of those people!

I would judge you - I'd think there was a small possibility you couldn't wear a mask for a good reason but that most likely you were just selfish and/or ignorant. Telling me you vax status would just be weird and not particularly relevant.