'PTSD' from the past 2 years?

[PolkaDot456]

PTSD may be an exaggerated description of what I am identifying but reading how angry people are regarding the No.10 drinks party, I feel we're collectively having a moment of reflection.

We're now all thinking about what we were doing in May 2020 and the passage of time since, we have actually come really far but this whole situation I think had made a lot of us begin processing the last two years would you agree?

I do feel as though I've been through something quite traumatic, and I had lockdown super-easy but struggled with anxiety triggered by the pandemic so I followed the rules and then some.

On reflection I feel I've done well - WE'VE done well as a society - to have come this far and kept moving forward in our lives in difficult circumstances.

But I get a heavy feeling when I think back, it's almost overwhelming and I can't seem to go there, its like a mental block. I'm in a good place aside from the pandemic so I'm not sure why I'm struggling to process it!

Reading back on some of the rules, before they came in, I'd never have believed they'd happen(parks locked up away from the kids for one ), at the time we realised it all seemed far fetched and now thinking back, I can't believe we were manipulated into the extreme behaviour and had so much taken away from us!

I realise this may be a bit of a self indulgence post! But I am interested to hear if other people are feeling similar during this collective reflection!?

@nojudgementhere

Yes - Sally Beck who has been trying to scare parents about MMR/Autism too. I don’t think she’s a ‘creditable’ journalist. Clearly anti vaxx - and very right wing.
Farage has been writing a lot of crap too for the past 30 years.

Too.

@MyQuietPlace - I'm so sorry - that sounds horrific. I hope you get all the help you need. 💐

@nojudgementhere Bigmoan would have been one of the people berating me for being traumatised by my birth by saying I was selfish to get pregnant during a pandemic last year. Ignore, they know in their hearts they are wrong, that’s why they are throwing around ad hominem and dismissing people’s trauma as ‘right wing let the bodies pile high’. No empathy or understanding and fearful of their world view being challenged now people are allowed to challenge it, without being turned on by other posters.

[quote BigMoan]@nojudgementhere

Yes - Sally Beck who has been trying to scare parents about MMR/Autism too. I don’t think she’s a ‘creditable’ journalist. Clearly anti vaxx - and very right wing.
Farage has been writing a lot of crap too for the past 30 years.[/quote]
I'm not trying to argue with you about whether or not the piece / journalist is any good or debate any of the other views they support. I've already told you I am not a fan of this particular publication!

I just wanted to show you that the piece of information about the court case that you were disputing would seem to be true. Would you agree now that it is? Also, if it is true, do you think it's a good idea that medical information on vaccine safety should be witheld from the public?

@Mycatsgoldtooth

But it’s fully ok to dismiss my experience? My not being able to get to someone very, very dear to me? Her bleeding, soiling herself? Having to clear up her faeces from the floor because she had to wait for her op? While caring for 2 children, one waiting for an ASD diagnosis and the other needing homeschooling?

I’m not allowed to say that I thought it was critical to support the NHS?

@Mycatsgoldtooth - Thank you and I'm really sorry about what you've had to go through. So much of this thread has made me want to cry. I really hope that once we're through this people will get the help they need to rebuild and recover and that safeguards are put in place that mean atrocities like people giving birth and dying alone never happen again.

@nojudgementhere

No because it has not yet been verified and accounted for, and reviewed.

It will be jumped on by anti vaxxers, anti dementors etc, and persuade others to ignore the safe medical advice.

And had all the anti restriction, Covid deniers etc had their way during the pandemic my loved one would be dead. And millions like my loved one would be dead too.

@bigmoan I thought talking about our kids well-being was weaponising? Yes maybe it was critical at the beginning when we did not know about the virus, but why were we forcing arbitrary rules that honestly made no difference to transmission a year later? Anyone with a brain in their head could see stopping people resting alone on benches, or standing next to people they lived with at funerals would do nothing to change the trajectory of the virus.

I’m sorry to hear about your experiences during lock down. It sounds awful and I hope you have got the support you need for your child now

[quote BigMoan]@Mycatsgoldtooth

But it’s fully ok to dismiss my experience? My not being able to get to someone very, very dear to me? Her bleeding, soiling herself? Having to clear up her faeces from the floor because she had to wait for her op? While caring for 2 children, one waiting for an ASD diagnosis and the other needing homeschooling?

I’m not allowed to say that I thought it was critical to support the NHS?[/quote]

Aren't you going to answer @nojudgementhere post then?

@Bigmoan No one is a covid denier, we just question the proportionality of the restrictions. I lost a beloved family member to Covid. The most traumatic thing for the family is no one could say goodbye by viewing the body. Again, how could a frozen body transmit covid? Another pointless rule that added sadness for no gain at all

[quote BigMoan]@MarshaBradyo
Because it does sound ‘UsForThem’. It’s very much that.
Am I not allowed to express that?[/quote]
Oh fuck off with that manipulative nonsense.

It has been a very strange 2 years. DH worked all the way through, he was screamed at, sworn at all because he wouldn't allow people to clear shelves or asking them to wear a mask. He used to come home upset, angry and stressed.

In the beginning I was jealous as he had left the house and I was stuck at home out of my depth trying to home school 2 children at different levels. Dd2 was 7 when this started, she struggled massively and even now we are only seeing the light at the end if the tunnel. She became completely dependent on me and wouldnt leave my side. I remember getting stuck in a queue at tesco and I wasn't back in time for her bedtime, she screamed at DH and refused to go to bed until I was home. It was exhausting.

I went back to work in June 2020 as I work in a preschool. It was a strange time, we had bubbles of children and it was lovely. It was an escape from the craziness of the outside world. My girls weren't allowed back to school though as DH was home during the day but worked evenings and all weekend. So between us we had to fit home schooling around it, it was stressful. Neither of us had any downtime or rest which was a strain at times. I think dd1 might have gone in a few mornings a week as she was year 6.

September DH changed his hours and dds were now eligible for key worker school. So felt much less pressure with us both working and could see an improvement in DD2 especially.

I think what I have found hard is relating to people's experiences, DH certainly felt like he missed out as he was working throughout so no getting paid to do nothing or spend extra time with us. Then I went back quite soon too and was doing lots of videos and zoom stuff before then for work it didn't feel like I was off a long time. Nurseries were taken for granted during the pandemic, everyone was fighting for teachers whilst dropping their children off at nursery. We are in closest contact, can't wear a mask and there were times I would have to get very close to parents whilst taking a child out of their arms. We also weren't eligible for testing kits initially and when schools shut we stayed open, we joked that clearly nurseries have a protective anti covid shield around us!

The trouble is everyone had a different experience. The hardest for me to cope with was I was allowed to get close to and look after 40+ different children a week but I couldn't give my mum a hug or go round a friends house for a cup of tea.

I thought talking about our kids well-being was weaponising?

Talking about your kids well being is weaponising.

Talking about her kids well being is totally valid.

Got it?

If we all hadn't followed the rules the death toll would have been much much higher. And no doubt more people would be traumatised from losing their loved ones. No conspiracy about it. The govt was going to do what they liked, we knew that from the Cummings trip to Barnard Castle.

If we all hadn't followed the rules the death toll would have been much much higher.

'The rules' weren't all equal in terms of their costs and benefits however. And there was no little attempt to actually analyse that or engage with the impact of was having on some sections of the population.

For example, why were children who didn't have a school place not allowed to socialise with other children outside? That would have made minimal if any difference to transmission, yet softened the impact considerably on thousands of children.

@BigMoan

Mumsnet are absolutely right to censor misinformation.

And what is appalling are the same set of posters descending on threads like this - who are very happy to weaponise children’s mental health in order to get their message across - which is all about personal freedom/personal risk/themselves as an individual without giving a toss about the many, many millions of lives lost worldwide.

It’s the same set you see ‘cheese in coffee’, ‘anti dementor’ - they are the epitome of hypocrisy.

And I suspect many of them are circulating a such crap as possible via social media, just toning it down a bit for Mumsnet.

The OP started with a great thread, inviting people to share experiences. And then as soon as someone shares an experience ‘they don’t like’ they come on with the spiteful/ableist language and swearing - trying to exclude people off the thread.

This poster is so hypocritical. They talk about 'ableist' language and then paint parents who are rightly worried about the huge, massive, significant impact of lockdowns and the whole Covid debacle has on their vulnerable children as weaponising children’s mental health.

They talk about how selfish and individualist we are to be concerned about school closures and other brutal measures such as shutting playgrounds or having to WFH i.e. in a small flat with several children, not being able to do both adequately and the horrible stress and damage all this has caused while celebrating that their relative can now live 20 years longer. I'm sorry but there is an awful lot of projection and blind spots in these posters posts. Probably all best ignored.

And of course all of us who are conecredned about children's wellbeing are members of 'Us for them' . Fucking ridiculous.

@TheKeatingFive

I thought talking about our kids well-being was weaponising?

Talking about your kids well being is weaponising.

Talking about her kids well being is totally valid.

Got it?

Yes, it's fine to talk about the welfare of children if it's in the context of restrictions and interventions, but anyone who has anything to say about what lockdowns and school closures did to them is fair game for having their integrity questioned.

This is not the first example we've seen on the covid board of that sort of behaviour recently and I doubt it'll be the last. I think it's very interesting actually, the assumption that anyone who isn't singing from the same hymnsheet as them can't actually have genuine welfare concerns. It says a lot about the way this debate has been conducted over the past couple of years.

I thought talking about our kids well-being was weaponising?

How can you possibly think it’s not ok for parents to talk about their children’s well-being on a parenting site?

It’s pretty revolting actually that some posters have tried to stop it.

@MarshaBradyo

I thought talking about our kids well-being was weaponising?

How can you possibly think it’s not ok for parents to talk about their children’s well-being on a parenting site?

It’s pretty revolting actually that some posters have tried to stop it.

It's completely revolting. Every time it's done.

@RedHelenB

If we all hadn't followed the rules the death toll would have been much much higher. And no doubt more people would be traumatised from losing their loved ones. No conspiracy about it. The govt was going to do what they liked, we knew that from the Cummings trip to Barnard Castle.

It was clear so early on that surface transmission, particularly outside, was such a tiny risk as to be negligible. Yet people were forbidden to see folk dear to them - even outside - and children were barred from playgrounds. Lockdown rules assumed everyone lived in a cosy nuclear family unit in a house with a garden, when numerically, most people don't.

These are the kind of crazy unnecessary rules people are on about. Things that would have made a hell of a difference to people's wellbeing, but we're just covered with a blanket "it's forbidden".

Things which it's very doubtful "saved" a single life.

Why is this being turned into a toxic thread when it's clear posters are simply trying to express their trauma?

More concerns about censorship, in a Royal Society report discussed in today’s Financial Times. The report expresses grave concern that social media companies continue to stifle opinion about lockdowns and vaccine safety.

The fact is that even if you start from the perspective that lockdown was necessary, there have been some rules throughout this that clearly weren't going to keep anyone safer and some that were actively detrimental to safety.

One example is 5-11 year olds being excluded from the walks provision this time last year. As well as bring cruel and pointless, it drove some socialising indoors, which was riskier.

Another is the rule in summer 2020 in Greater Manchester that only allowed family childcare outside: this was pre childcare bubbles and there was no lawful way to do it indoors. This in in a region famous for rain and when a lot of the park bogs were still shut. So it was legal for DC to go to childcare provision with dozens of contacts, but not to be looked after in private homes with many fewer people present. The legal option was the less safe one. Again it was clear at the time how moronic this was.

@TheKeatingFive

If we all hadn't followed the rules the death toll would have been much much higher.

'The rules' weren't all equal in terms of their costs and benefits however. And there was no little attempt to actually analyse that or engage with the impact of was having on some sections of the population.

For example, why were children who didn't have a school place not allowed to socialise with other children outside? That would have made minimal if any difference to transmission, yet softened the impact considerably on thousands of children.

Exactly this. Especially when developmental psychology experts were actively shouting about the likely damage to children.