'PTSD' from the past 2 years?

[PolkaDot456]

PTSD may be an exaggerated description of what I am identifying but reading how angry people are regarding the No.10 drinks party, I feel we're collectively having a moment of reflection.

We're now all thinking about what we were doing in May 2020 and the passage of time since, we have actually come really far but this whole situation I think had made a lot of us begin processing the last two years would you agree?

I do feel as though I've been through something quite traumatic, and I had lockdown super-easy but struggled with anxiety triggered by the pandemic so I followed the rules and then some.

On reflection I feel I've done well - WE'VE done well as a society - to have come this far and kept moving forward in our lives in difficult circumstances.

But I get a heavy feeling when I think back, it's almost overwhelming and I can't seem to go there, its like a mental block. I'm in a good place aside from the pandemic so I'm not sure why I'm struggling to process it!

Reading back on some of the rules, before they came in, I'd never have believed they'd happen(parks locked up away from the kids for one ), at the time we realised it all seemed far fetched and now thinking back, I can't believe we were manipulated into the extreme behaviour and had so much taken away from us!

I realise this may be a bit of a self indulgence post! But I am interested to hear if other people are feeling similar during this collective reflection!?

Also - I’m exercising more, and I definitely drink less alcohol (as a result of less work stress I think). So I think this has been good too.

@MarshaBradyo
@Runaway1

I haven’t found that with DD at all. DD has improved vastly with her behaviour. She used to have fairly regular time outs before the pandemic, and now - I can’t remember the last time she had one.
She kept up communication with school friends via zoom, and - she’s still getting lots of party/play date invites. Brownies was via zoom for a while - but she’s back doing all her activities again.
She has learned a great deal of consideration I’d say, and the school were excellent at promoting mental health activities during lockdown.

Of course it’s arrogant and wrong, but how on earth did they think they’d get away with it??

Arrogance. These people spend their lives sticking two fingers up at the rest of us and getting away with it.

@BigMoan Do you recognise that many people are not fortunate enough to be in your position, and how much harder the pandemic has been for them. It's lovely to hear your twee stories, big honestly you're coming across as tone deaf to what others went through.

[quote BigMoan]@MarshaBradyo
@Runaway1

I haven’t found that with DD at all. DD has improved vastly with her behaviour. She used to have fairly regular time outs before the pandemic, and now - I can’t remember the last time she had one.
She kept up communication with school friends via zoom, and - she’s still getting lots of party/play date invites. Brownies was via zoom for a while - but she’s back doing all her activities again.
She has learned a great deal of consideration I’d say, and the school were excellent at promoting mental health activities during lockdown.[/quote]
Not sure why this is that relevant to our sharing of common experience but I’m glad your dc enjoyed it.

I’m very relieved school is back and dc are happy to be back. Many posts earlier on said it could be taken away again and thankfully they were not correct.

@CorrBlimeyGG. I did say in my earlier post that I could only speak anecdotally. I haven’t had it easy with my close family member’s cancer. Calling that ‘twee’ is pretty spiteful of you. I also stated that I recognise people have had it far worse.

Why should I censor/not share my experience? Why should I be excluded?

@BigMoan

In terms of the No.10 lockdown party. Something feels a bit ‘off’ to me. Of course it’s arrogant and wrong, but how on earth did they think they’d get away with it?? People must have known at the time, and have been wary with the Cummings/Barnard Castle news. Would anyone really be that stupid? And why are we being told about it now?? Why wasn’t someone dobbing them in at the time? I think this is being used to push Boris out - but who wil we get instead??

I agree. A distraction from a massive cost of living crisis, huge affordable housing shortage, their continued support of fossil fuel corporations in a time of climate breakdown, whilst they remove more of our civil rights through the Police, crime and sentencing bill. Divert your anger about the party into getting rid of this government fast.

I felt like this a few months ago. However, I now feel healed and more optimistic than previously. I feel more grateful for every day things. I also feel like we have been through collective trauma, but on a worldwide basis. Every person has their own story to tell. There will be tons of art coming out of this time period.
Throughout Covid I had to travel, a lot of it work related. It became pretty clear to me early on, due to travelling, how random and arbitrary the rules were in the various countries. Someone in power makes a decision, that is the rule. It is scrutinised in detail by a Parliament as would normally be the case. It is emergency legislation/guidance and a stab in the dark at fighting the virus.
As to the Downing Street “parties”, this has not come as a surprise to me. It is what I would have expected these types to do.
What I have learnt from the pandemic though is that children need far more rights and protections. I feel it is the very young that were most let down during the pandemic. So persons 0-25 ish.

@BigMoan

In terms of the No.10 lockdown party. Something feels a bit ‘off’ to me. Of course it’s arrogant and wrong, but how on earth did they think they’d get away with it?? People must have known at the time, and have been wary with the Cummings/Barnard Castle news. Would anyone really be that stupid? And why are we being told about it now?? Why wasn’t someone dobbing them in at the time? I think this is being used to push Boris out - but who wil we get instead??

Totally agree

I said this the other day. That I think this is being used because its time for Boris to go. Its not coming to light because we as people deserve to know. Its more like its being used as a tool to once again manipulate us into behaving a certain way. Such as, shouting to get Boris removed. The question is, why? What comes next...that's what scares me.

[quote BigMoan]@MarshaBradyo
@Runaway1

I haven’t found that with DD at all. DD has improved vastly with her behaviour. She used to have fairly regular time outs before the pandemic, and now - I can’t remember the last time she had one.
She kept up communication with school friends via zoom, and - she’s still getting lots of party/play date invites. Brownies was via zoom for a while - but she’s back doing all her activities again.
She has learned a great deal of consideration I’d say, and the school were excellent at promoting mental health activities during lockdown.[/quote]
Sounds like your dd is a little older than mine, and perhaps of a different temperament, who knows? My dd was unable to connect with friends via Zoom as only 4. She actually asked not to do Zooms with friends after the first few tries as it made her so sad to see her friends but be unable to play with them. I'd forgotten that minor heartbreak until just now.
Guided activities via Zoom were fine - Rainbows and a drama club, which became available to her once she was 5. But she couldn't socialise with peers in that way as she was just too little.

I agree with most of the comments on here.

And yes I’m starting to worry too about what we’ll get if/when Boris goes. For all his mistakes and baffoonery at least he’s not removing ALL our freedoms right now. Unlike in Canada, NZ, etc.

I don’t think lack of connection re zoom is an age thing at all, I find online socialising soulless and completely awful and I am 43! My nine year old didn’t do he wanted to play with his friends, football, cops and robbers, zombie invasion. The simple gamez of childhood were made illegal and cannot be done over zoom. I think his upset about missing them was normal (why Had generations of children before him played such games of it wasn’t a “normal” thing for children to do!). But it was difficult then (and often now) to get people to understand that human interaction is a human need. It was played as something new and entitled that generations before had never had and ridiculous to suggest it “it’s a good job people didn’t think like that in the war” but children did play with other children in the war there is plenty if video of evidence of them playing literally on bomb sites..but the narrative was that they gave up all social interaction for five years so kids today who wanted it were spoilt brats!

I did agree with the basic idea of a “lockdown” but even at the time felt the first lockdown was too strict I do know other countries the Netherlands for example still allowed outdoor play for children and seemed to still combat the wave (with less deaths than we did) it feels we went too far.

And what I was worried about at the time was that a one off emergency measure to deal with a crisis would become z”normalised” and that has definitely happened - people seem to call for a lockdown every five minutes nowadays! That concerns me I do hope that an outcome of the number ten party episodes is it stops calling for a lockdown to be the default solution to any new variant/ rise in cases etc. it never was and never could be a long term solution or way to live, and yet became normalised far too quickly!

My mum is definitely still feeling the effects. She used to love getting the bus into town to look at the shops but won’t go now, even though she’s allowed, because she’s so conditioned into the idea that she “shouldn’t.”

Agree with pp about it feeling 'off' that the info about parties at 10 Downing St has only now been leaked.

I think it's been leaked by Tories themselves who want a replacement for BJ in place well enough in advance of the next elections. So that the memory of it will fade and they get voted in again.

I am hesitant to use the word ‘trauma’ for my own experience as I think it’s sometimes overused, but there are definitely aspects of the past two years that I am still processing and find very distressing to think about. The belittling and dismissing of children’s needs, including I’m afraid by many people on MN, was shocking. I recall posting in desperation in spring 2020 about my concerns around my DD’s mental health, and was told by one poster that her issues were my fault. Anyone expressing concern at the effect of long term school closures was shouted down or accused of wanting teachers to die. Everything previously taken for granted about child development - that education is essential, socialisation and exercise vital, and too much screen time damaging, was summarily dismissed almost overnight. It felt like gaslighting on a vast scale. I’m not sure I will ever fully get over it, or trust the government or society to put children’s needs first ever again.

My 18yo has become a recluse and dangerously unfit. My 15yo has developed tics and obsessive behaviours that dominate everything. Both autistic.

DM has lost sight in one eye, like so many others, because she went for months without her eye injections.

Marriage is fragile. It's turned dh into a bit of an arse. He got to go back to the office one day a week, for a few months, and we both treasured those days.

This thread is so sad but quite helpful. I’m sorry you all feel as you do.

I broke down to dh this week after a conversation about how snappy I am, I’ve no patience and loved ones have said I’m possibly depressed. I’ve realised I’m not depressed. I’ve come to the conclusion it’s the last 2 years, particularly the last year. My baby was born in a lockdown and (I know others suffered much worse) the grief I feel over his early months. No visitors, the loneliness, wishing his precious first few months away, time I can never revisit. What feels worse is no body seems to validate how I feel, it’s all ‘well at least you didn’t have to keeping tidying the house for visitors’ or ‘could be worse, you could have lost a loved one’ or ‘ he’ll never remember’ but I do. I remember. It eats me up, especially as I’ve a couple of friends having just had babies and them experiencing visitors.

I could go on, I’m just so sad at what my life and how I feel has become.

I definitely am struggling hugely. My life has crumbled to dust. My relationship didn't make it ( I still can't believe it). I lost my job & had to sell my beautiful home. My life is completely shit and unrecognisable post-pandemic

I had fragile mental health before the pandemic throughout my life , so I think most of my family and friends thought I would be the hardest hit. I wasn't actually which surprised me I kept optimistic and wishful thinking that it would end soon of course it didn't but I still thought it . I also broke the rules and saw my friend in the second lockdown neither of us caught COVID. I feel pretty much over it now which is surprising to me I wonder if any other people who have had mental health problems feel the same? I have spent so much of my life catastrophising when disaster actually came it wasn't such a big shock.

And yes I’m starting to worry too about what we’ll get if/when Boris goes. For all his mistakes and baffoonery at least he’s not removing ALL our freedoms right now. Unlike in Canada, NZ, etc.

I'm sitting here in NZ right now, wondering about ALL our freedoms being removed - I hadn't noticed!!!

Honestly, there is a lot of rubbish on some threads about covid - from people who obviously don't have a clue.

Also, reading this thread brings it home to me just how right a poster on another thread was when she mentioned the competitive misery people in the UK like to indulge in. Anyone could be forgiven for thinking the UK must have had a much worse experience over the past two years than any other country in the world. (Apart from Canada, NZ etc., obviously).

I remeber thinking how bloody ridiculous it was I couldn't take my child to the playground and thought as if a bloody virus would be on the surface of a swing!!!

People jumping out if their way wheh walking past each other walking down the street.

I thought the rules were nonsense!!

I feel
Sorry for the people who have ended up with mental health issues - my very healthy young brother has basically not been out living his life this whole time Abd is very depressed!

I was talking about this with some friends with babies and toddlers of a similar age and we all agree our recollections of the last two years are very blurry. There are a few distinct events but it's almost like they could have happened in any order with no context. I'm no mental health expert but I'm not sure what that means.

Just checked pictures and saw recording of 20 May 2020, of my 6yo, lonely on his trampoline, in our sunny garden, sending birthday wishes to his friend, who's turned 7 that day. Made me sad.