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Original poster

Would you comment on a non-mask wearer when in public?

511 replies

92miles · 27/12/2021 15:48

If you passed a fit young person coming into a busy venue as you were exiting, and that person wasn't wearing a mask, would you say anything to them?

I wouldn't because you've got no way of knowing if that person is exempt. It is also possible the person does have a mask and had simply forgotten to slip it on. I think they will pretty soon notice others wearing masks and it will remind them if that's the case.

I've witnessed other people making comments to non mask wearers when in public though.

OP posts:
TheVampiresWife · 30/12/2021 11:48

@Walkerby

Jeez, didn’t realise asking people who clearly weren’t exempt as they had masks on but round their chins if they could pop them up over their nose and mouth as they were in close proximity to me made me a ‘nosey busybody’!
Well, now you do.

Perhaps you'll reflect on your behaviour now.

Walkerby · 30/12/2021 11:56

There really is so much nastiness on here. I’m more than happy to reflect on my own behaviour. But I do think the nasty pile on’s and insults from keyboard warriors undermine their moral high ground when asking others to be more respectful!

RichTeaRichTea · 30/12/2021 12:18

You think you are being polite in your manner of asking. Other people think you are being at best rude in asking in the first place, and at worst ableist.

Tbh I’m just amazed that we are still seeing these threads 18 months ish since masks came in. People are pretty much set in their opinions now. Nothing will change or make people think differently, either those who aren’t exempt and don’t wear masks, or those who think it is acceptable to challenge people.

alloalloallo · 30/12/2021 12:20

Also, please stop imagining you know which 'type' of people are exempt. You don't.

Yes! This! Stop it.

You’ve no idea whether they are exempt or not, you’ve no idea whether they may be struggling and pulled the mask down for a few minutes.

They may be like my daughter - managed to get a mask on, but can feel her tics building to a tic attack so has pulled it under her chin to try and calm them/suppress them/get a bit of respite.

alloalloallo · 30/12/2021 12:32

@Walkerby

There really is so much nastiness on here. I’m more than happy to reflect on my own behaviour. But I do think the nasty pile on’s and insults from keyboard warriors undermine their moral high ground when asking others to be more respectful!
You may think you are being polite, but honestly, it’s not. It’s rude and ableist.

My daughter has been called amongst other things, a cunt, told she’s selfish, told that it’s her fault people are dying, told it’s her fault if we go into another lock down, told it’s her fault that this has gone on so long, told she shouldn’t be allowed to go to college/get on a bus/attend medical appointments/etc. Called a liar when she’s politely explained she’s exempt, people have demanded to know her private medical history.

She’s 16, she’s young, fit and healthy. Just the kind of person you’d probably think couldn’t possibly be exempt. So please, just think before you stick your nose in.

She’s never had problems with shop staff, bus drivers, hospital staff, or anyone like that. It’s always, always, without fail, random members of the public.

SueSaid · 30/12/2021 12:36

The reason these threads get so contentious is because we all know it is a tiny minority (not the 50% refusers in Primark) genuinely exempt with a massive majority jumping on the bandwagon just because they cba/don't like them . I bet it's the same type of people who use disabled toilets when they aren't disabled, or park in disabled spaces for a quick nip to the shops.

SueSaid · 30/12/2021 12:37

'Perhaps you'll reflect on your behaviour now.'

Yes @Walkerby, get reflecting! Grin

Spikeyball · 30/12/2021 12:45

"The reason these threads get so contentious is because we all know it is a tiny minority (not the 50% refusers in Primark) genuinely exempt."

Who do you think is genuinely exempt?

RichTeaRichTea · 30/12/2021 12:48

@JaniieJones

The reason these threads get so contentious is because we all know it is a tiny minority (not the 50% refusers in Primark) genuinely exempt with a massive majority jumping on the bandwagon just because they cba/don't like them . I bet it's the same type of people who use disabled toilets when they aren't disabled, or park in disabled spaces for a quick nip to the shops.
No, the reason they get contentious is that some people think they can identify the difference between those who are “genuinely exempt” and those who aren’t on sight. It doesn’t matter what proportion you think is genuine or not - you can’t assume on an individual basis even if you think you can
PlanktonsComputerWife · 30/12/2021 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

monsterflake · 30/12/2021 12:50

I wear my sunflower lanyard and a mask. I have ASD and mental health issues and have occasionally needed to remove it briefly but try not to. I completely understand that some people exempt are unable to wear a mask at all, everyone is different and I wouldn't dream of making someone feel awful by making a comment to them.

I usually wear my lanyard more so people don't think I'm rude for wearing my headphones (to cope with the noise and it helps my anxiety) than to avoid wearing a mask as I'm usually able to do this.

SueSaid · 30/12/2021 12:54

'Who do you think is genuinely exempt?'

Not 50% of the population which is about what I sometimes observe when out shopping.

It really does a disservice for those with genuine exemptions.

We can't approach these people obviously, we don't know who are genuinely exempt are but family and friends do know and if anyone knows a refuser they should be the ones to educate them, but they won't because as a pp said its usually whole families and groups of friends that don't bother.

fitsandgiggles · 30/12/2021 12:54

I don't wear a mask for a very real reason I won't go to far into but PTSD from a traumatic event in my past when I had my face forcibly covered. I have tried to wear masks but on 2 occasions had panic attacks in public which I find very stressful and embarrassing therefore I no longer wear one. Last week an elderly gentleman accosted me and demanded to know why I was exempt and told me I had no brain. Please be kind

Spikeyball · 30/12/2021 13:01

"Not 50% of the population which is about what I sometimes observe when out shopping."

But you are sure it is a tiny number of people so you must be able to list the conditions and severity that would make someone genuinely exempt.

Fruitygal · 30/12/2021 13:19

Having worked at a vaccine centre for a year I have seen only 1 person refuse to wear a mask coming in for a vaccine - anyone mask exempt gets given a visor to wear. 99% without masks are not mask exempt they are just prats. Most people who are really sick and on oxygen so mask exempt still wear a visor and attempt to wear a mask. There are a couple of reasons like certain types of autism and some people who may have had horrific attack experiences who may struggle with masks.I feel for these people but they generally wear visors to give some sort of protection.

I offered a mask to a pregnant woman on the tube before Christmas she asked me why? I explained her increased risks of severe covid due to a suppressed immune system when pregnant and wanted to make sure her child would have a mum and she would be ok. She wore the mask. The following week she came up to me on my commute with mask on on tube and told me she has had her first vaccine now.

TheVampiresWife · 30/12/2021 13:23

@JaniieJones

If you're so concerned about those who are genuinely exempt, why have you spent much of this thread minimising the suffering of those with a crippling condition which, in most cases, makes them genuinely exempt? Surely in your newfound role as disability rights crusader you should be defending them from precisely the sort of behaviour you've demonstrated yourself here - the minimising, the implication of lying or exaggerating, the dismissal and disbelief when posters have shared with you the details of their diagnosis and living with their condition.

And let's not even get into who you think 'deserves' to use disabled toilets!

Walkerby · 30/12/2021 13:24

Fruitygal, well done for helping the pregnant lady 👏👏👏

TheVampiresWife · 30/12/2021 13:29

@Fruitygal

Having worked at a vaccine centre for a year I have seen only 1 person refuse to wear a mask coming in for a vaccine - anyone mask exempt gets given a visor to wear. 99% without masks are not mask exempt they are just prats. Most people who are really sick and on oxygen so mask exempt still wear a visor and attempt to wear a mask. There are a couple of reasons like certain types of autism and some people who may have had horrific attack experiences who may struggle with masks.I feel for these people but they generally wear visors to give some sort of protection.

I offered a mask to a pregnant woman on the tube before Christmas she asked me why? I explained her increased risks of severe covid due to a suppressed immune system when pregnant and wanted to make sure her child would have a mum and she would be ok. She wore the mask. The following week she came up to me on my commute with mask on on tube and told me she has had her first vaccine now.

The staff at the vaccination centre I've been to three times now were absolutely lovely and so understanding. They did offer a visor, but when I explained why I couldn't wear one, they were so kind. For my fifteen minute wait I was taken to a side room so I wouldn't have to wait with everyone else (they asked if this was ok, of course I was happy to) and each time I was offered a cup of tea and a biscuit while I waited, and was checked on regularly.

I was told they're used to seeing people who can't wear face coverings and this is what they have in place - it was a massive relief.

Thank you for your work, by the way Flowers

Booklover3 · 30/12/2021 13:34

Nope

Fruitygal · 30/12/2021 13:38

@TheVampiresWife we use a side room for those with CEV for their safety (if wanted) and would if someone who wasn't able to wear a visor as important to keep them and our other patients safe.

Children and adults with learning difficulties are given lots of TLC and the side room so they can remain calm.

Our mask refuser (not claiming to be exempt) did not believe in COVID but wanted a vaccine to go on holiday!?!?! He was placed far away from everyone ....for his own safety

SueSaid · 30/12/2021 13:43

'And let's not even get into who you think 'deserves' to use disabled toilets!'

Those with disabilities? Confused

You sneering is very tedious vampire.

LumosSolem · 30/12/2021 13:44

@Fruitygal had my booster a few days ago and once again was so impressed with all the staff and volunteers. Doing an amazing job and were all so friendly and helpful.

Very very grateful for you all who have carried on over Christmas. Thanks for what you do 💐

LumosSolem · 30/12/2021 13:46

@JaniieJones bit rich to accuse anyone else of sneering.

I thought it was telling that you have the example (which btw I don't even believe) of 50% of primark customers not wearing masks.

madisonbridges · 30/12/2021 13:48

I did in the first lockdown. I wouldn't be bothered now.

Two young lads about 18 /19 were in Tesco Express shouting and mouthing off. One of them had the grace to look ashamed but the other said he had asthma. As his asthma wasn't affecting his shouting, I pointed out he could have worn a mask as he was buying his fags! (I might not have pointed it out as nicely as I wrote it here. 😕 )

TheVampiresWife · 30/12/2021 13:53

[quote Fruitygal]@TheVampiresWife we use a side room for those with CEV for their safety (if wanted) and would if someone who wasn't able to wear a visor as important to keep them and our other patients safe.

Children and adults with learning difficulties are given lots of TLC and the side room so they can remain calm.

Our mask refuser (not claiming to be exempt) did not believe in COVID but wanted a vaccine to go on holiday!?!?! He was placed far away from everyone ....for his own safety[/quote]
I'm CEV as well as mask exempt (immunosuppressed).

I'm really grateful for the understanding and kindness I received, I can't say it enough.