Would you comment on a non-mask wearer when in public?

[92miles]

If you passed a fit young person coming into a busy venue as you were exiting, and that person wasn't wearing a mask, would you say anything to them?

I wouldn't because you've got no way of knowing if that person is exempt. It is also possible the person does have a mask and had simply forgotten to slip it on. I think they will pretty soon notice others wearing masks and it will remind them if that's the case.

I've witnessed other people making comments to non mask wearers when in public though.

@caringcarer

My son goes to a special secondary school for moderate to severe LD. They have taught the children to wear masks. In the beginning for 5 mins at a time. Now they all wear them on class. I am asthmatic and it can get quite bad but I force myself to wear a mask in a shop. If I can't breathe I just give trolly to DH and go outside and take mask off. Too many people don't try hard enough to wear mask. My mil thought she could not wear one but she wore it around house for 5-10 mins at a time and can now wear it for about 20 mins.

Jeez not this again. Oh how I missed being told I simply need to try harder and accept that I stim in a self-injurous way when I wear a mask/visor/headband/hat. I managed almost 5min once, still have the scars on my arm from where I scratched it.

My 11yo is perfectly happy to wear a mask, he's a mouther who gets his sensory input from chewing on anything and everything, wearing a mask means there's something right next to his mouth to chew on. Of course I doubt the extra soggy mask would do anything, but it makes a change from him chewing on his top.

@CJsGoldfish

Let's be real here: how many medical conditions are there that mean you absolutely can't wear a mask for 5 minutes in a shop or whilst sat on a bus? For all the 'noise' on this thread, I still think it comes down to this. My MIL has emphysema and manages to wear a mask. I absolutely hate wearing a mask but I'm not going to grab a lanyard and self report as 'exempt' because I'm uncomfortable. I wouldn't bother questioning anyone because, as can be seen in this thread, people just don't care enough about others. 🤷‍♀️ Every second person has a 'hidden disability' or 'exemption' these days.

Ooh, implying that hidden disabilities aren't real, edgy.

What has someone with emphysema being able to wear a mask got to do with people with other conditions who can't? Why do you think that one person being able to do something means that everyone can do it?

Ooh, implying that hidden disabilities aren't real, edgy
Meh. Many people have hidden disabilities which makes it a shame that the self diagnosed whiners are able to add themselves to the mix minimising what IS real for many. Claiming a 'hidden disability' does not automatically mean you have one no matter how 'special' you feel you are. There are always those who will take advantage. Same with exemptions 🤷‍♀️
What has someone with emphysema being able to wear a mask got to do with people with other conditions who can't? Why do you think that one person being able to do something means that everyone can do it?
If you can't see the relevance of someone with emphysema being able to wear a mask and a snowflake who doesn't want to and 'can't breathe' with one, not sure what else to say.
There is a difference between inconvenience and inability but hey, don't ever question it right? 🙄

These threads always demonstrate that wearing a mask =/= caring a lot about others

The ability or inability of one person with emphysema to wear a mask has nothing to do with the ability or inability of someone with a different condition to wear a mask.

Stop putting inverted commas around hidden disability. As you were told before, it is ablist.

"We were in Barcelona and France fairly recently. Without exception, everyone was wearing a mask."

Spain and France have exemptions. There will be people with my son's condition in those countries and they won't be wearing masks.

"but the UK is packed with ‘special’ people who are apparently exempt 🤷🏻‍♀️"

Describing people with disabilities as 'special' is considered ablist. HTH.

The UK is packed with 'special' people who apparently can discern the presence or not of hidden disability merely by looking.

I wouldn’t say anything, but I do think if you don’t wear one you are a massive tool

Or exempt, @AstroBunny.

I’ve said something to people wearing them around their chins, so clearly not exempt. I once politely asked a couple on the same aisle as me if they could pop their masks back up - they did, but then also found it hilarious when they were next to me in the till queue to pull them down again and start exaggeratingly huffing and puffing and fake coughing.

I’ve also on occasion politely asked groups of people all not wearing masks, so again more likely to be about their beliefs than true medical exemptions, if they had one they could wear - met by abuse, which I think only underlines it was by selfish choice rather than exemption.

I have never asked any single people or couples as they’re more likely to be exempt than an entire group or family who all aren’t wearing them.

@Walkerby

I’ve said something to people wearing them around their chins, so clearly not exempt. I once politely asked a couple on the same aisle as me if they could pop their masks back up - they did, but then also found it hilarious when they were next to me in the till queue to pull them down again and start exaggeratingly huffing and puffing and fake coughing.

I’ve also on occasion politely asked groups of people all not wearing masks, so again more likely to be about their beliefs than true medical exemptions, if they had one they could wear - met by abuse, which I think only underlines it was by selfish choice rather than exemption.

I have never asked any single people or couples as they’re more likely to be exempt than an entire group or family who all aren’t wearing them.

So you gained absolutely nothing by doing that. Pointless exercise.

Claiming a 'hidden disability' does not automatically mean you have one no matter how 'special' you feel you are. There are always those who will take advantage. Same with exemptions

This idea that people want to be disabled because they get all the treats is nuts. Why would anyone want to be disabled? What's there to 'take advantage' of? The fun of constant pain? The joy of being unable to carry out simple tasks? Fatigue? Nasty drugs which make your hair fall out and your gums bleed? The pig ignorance and ableism you encounter daily? Actually, wait. Yep, I can totally see the advantages of a hidden disability, I'm so grateful to have one!

Also, calling disabled people 'special'. Ugh. Mate, seriously, stop digging yourself further into that hole.

Waxonwaxoff0, maybe it made them think even a tiny bit.

@walkerby
I would "politely" request that you mind your own business.
This pandemic is heaven sent for nosy busy bodies. Why on earth should people have to tell a complete stranger their medical history or past trauma?!

@TheVampiresWife

I wouldn’t say anything, but I do think if you don’t wear one you are a massive tool

Or exempt, @AstroBunny.

Hmm, you might be giving her too much credit there, given the rest of the post. I think there's a fair chance she thinks that of exempt people too.

“met by abuse, which I think only underlines it was by selfish choice rather than exemption”

What response would you expect from an exempt person? Apologetic? Timid? People can be both rude and exempt. Just as they can be both rude and mask-wearing.

It always used to be there in the guidelines that people not wearing masks should not be challenged by members of the public - is that not still the case?

@caringcarer

My son goes to a special secondary school for moderate to severe LD. They have taught the children to wear masks. In the beginning for 5 mins at a time. Now they all wear them on class. I am asthmatic and it can get quite bad but I force myself to wear a mask in a shop. If I can't breathe I just give trolly to DH and go outside and take mask off. Too many people don't try hard enough to wear mask. My mil thought she could not wear one but she wore it around house for 5-10 mins at a time and can now wear it for about 20 mins.

Urgh.

My daughter has tried, and tried to wear a mask, and sometimes, she can tolerate one for a few minutes, but because of this “you’re not trying hard enough” “you’re selfish” narrative, she’s actually ended up in hospital as a result of trying.

Is that trying hard enough for you?

She has Tourette’s and her tics mean that 99.9% of the time, she can’t wear one. Some people with Tourette’s have no issues with masks, others can’t wear one.

As the parent of a child with this condition, I know that that other people are affected differently and would never assume that just because DD can or can’t do something, no one else can or can’t

Most of the time we can’t even get a mask anywhere near her face. The last time she got one near her face, she shoved it in her mouth and down her throat until she choked. The time before that she head butted a metal railing until she knocked herself out (and ended up in hospital), she punches and scratches at her face until she’s bruised and bleeding. They cause huge tic attacks which lead to absence seizures and her hands, wrists, knees or feet locking up.

But, she keeps trying because of the abuse she’s had, the accusations that she’s selfish, or just not trying hard enough.

Just pack it in

Wow, my time machine works. Here we are, back in July 2020 where mask wearers are amazing, selfless, model members of society and non mask wearers are dicks.

Jeez, didn’t realise asking people who clearly weren’t exempt as they had masks on but round their chins if they could pop them up over their nose and mouth as they were in close proximity to me made me a ‘nosey busybody’!

So much nastiness on here... and all over something which seems to be doing such a great job given the huge number of cases. I'm not exempt and I wear a mask, for all the good I personally believe it to do, but I am genuinely shocked at some of the comments on this thread.

@Walkerby

Jeez, didn’t realise asking people who clearly weren’t exempt as they had masks on but round their chins if they could pop them up over their nose and mouth as they were in close proximity to me made me a ‘nosey busybody’!

Because it's not your place to do that. You have no authority over what people do.

The other group I mentioned were a group of about eight older teenagers so highly unlikely they were all exempt. As I said I wouldn’t have dreamt of saying anything to a lone person or even a small group in case of them being exempt, I totally respect people’s right to privacy and possibility that they’re exempt. But I would also appreciate those who are not exempt to respect others’ rights to safety, and the rights of any vulnerable people they may have at home, by the simple act of wearing a mask in a shop.

Hopefully my tone in my messages here is polite and respectful - I think it’s also important to be respectful in the manner in which you communicate with others on here even if you don’t agree with them, rather than firing insults. Just as I was with the people I spoke to.

Waxonwaxoff0 I didn’t say I had authority, I just asked them if they could pop their mask up. Just as saying excuse me if I need to get past someone isn’t thinking I have authority to make them move. If they didn’t pop it up that’s their choice, it’s not against the law for me to ask.

@Walkerby

Waxonwaxoff0 I didn’t say I had authority, I just asked them if they could pop their mask up. Just as saying excuse me if I need to get past someone isn’t thinking I have authority to make them move. If they didn’t pop it up that’s their choice, it’s not against the law for me to ask.

Lots of things aren't illegal, but are still incredibly rude.

Many posters have mentioned that they agree with masks and wear them, despite it being incredibly difficult, because they know it's the right thing to do and they're not exempt. They occasionally pull their masks down for a 'break' when it gets too much.

How do you know the people you encountered weren't in this category?

Also, please stop imagining you know which 'type' of people are exempt. You don't.