Someone somewhere needs to articulate the lost quality of life

[Gguin]

Firstly, I am not saying I think there shouldn't be restrictions as needed, masks, reduced social contact. I do. Just to reemphasise that, to prevent people misreading the title, I support and abide and have abided by restrictions, both statutory and advised.
I also hated every single second of the lockdown. I hated what it did to friends. I hated the disregard of single people. I hated the criminalisation of social lives. I hated the lost opportunities for young and not so young people to build or change their lives. I hated the paranoia and judgmentalism. I hated the NHS worship and everyone else can go hang.
And yes I hate this feeling, somewhere between anxiety, depression and a grinding underlying fear of future regret on all that has been lost. I drove past a pub in rural Ireland where I live today and it was shut, boarded up and probably will never reopen. The sign "craic agus ceoil" (laughter and music) was worn and frayed, like a relic of the times when we were able to enjoy themselves with abandon.
All I would like as the latest chapter of shit unfolds is for someone, somewhere to actually articulate the sadness of all the lost opportunities. The friends that have never been made, the months and years spent indoors, the catastrophic toll on mental health and above all this awful feeling that the many of the very things that make life worth living are so expendable and in some quarters, not even mourned.

Yes, it’s been shit. But I think we will find new ways of connecting. My gym went online - I now do more classes, and share the time with my kids. I’ve found new skills in teaching them, which gave me the confidence to change jobs (I’m now self employed, which might not be great for the future!) I work from home and have more family time, discovered more local walks. Kids activities went online, learning curve for everyone. We may just all have to change how we interact, and some people will hate it and some will be better off.

I'm heartbroken too. Yes. Heartbroken is the word. It's driven a wedge between all my relationships in some form or another. I am exhausted. My mum's exhausted from listening to my exhaustion. We are not ok.

It’s my children I feel for, they are so matter of fact about covid stuff it makes me so sad. Supposed to be having birthday party for my daughter which has been cancelled as I’ve just tested positive, no symptoms but I tested (doing the right thing) before having a party. She is upset but when I said it was because of covid she just sighed and said “ok” in such a resigned way. She’s 6. 2 years of her short life has been framed by lockdowns, cancelled plans, home schooling. Rubbish

It’s cheaper for government to restrict movement than properly invest in health care.. some synics might even say it’s their agenda to privatise? they have underfunded the healthcare system then giving nhs funds to private healthcare to build ‘for profit hospital trusts’… white paper due to be enacted in April x

I'm still quite upbeat in an everyday sense of getting something out of each day.

This isn't contradictory with the fact that I can see we have lost a lot (as well as the actual losses we had as a family this year).

How on earth are you supposed to flirt with masks on? This is not of interest to those who are in couples at home, but spare a thought for us single people- where are we supposed to meet people, how are we supposed to lock eyes across a crowded room (well, I guess the eyes could lock, but you could get a surprise when they took their mask off). Normal, fun, social interactions are just not the same. Parties are cancelled. If you go to the pub or chat without a mask on you are 'part of the problem'.

It's just not very relaxing. Two years is a long time to put this stuff on hold.

That's a 'trivial' example, but I do feel a world of masks (even though I wear one) is a stranger, more distant, less friendly world. Even on a practical level you can't hear as easily what people are saying. There's less chit chat. Fewer smiles.

I don't think we shouldn't wear masks, but it's not a spiral of negativity to notice that if we interact with masks, we lose something, and some people (e.g. the very young, people with hearing loss, older people) lose more than most.

Ditto lots of things about the pandemic. Seeing other people as vectors of infection rather than as humans sharing our space and world isn't helpful in creating community and connection. I think more people feel disconnected by the pandemic than connected. It's possible to comply with masks and lockdowns and still hate what it's done to society.

Why is loneliness more of an issue than saving or extending lives?

Why is no one angry about this!! Why are you just going along with it like it’s ok?? It’s not! What’s happened to us that the government can take your liberty and healthcare at the same time and it’s not a problem…. ?

I'd like to see my brother again. He's in China. Havent seen him in two years. My elderly mother misses him.so much

@Lacedwithgrace it's the lengths you go to to save or extend lives. If we banned cars that would save a lot of lives but we don't because it would affect life too much.

We may just all have to change how we interact, and some people will hate it and some will be better off.

No, thanks. We aren’t going to radically overhaul society and the basics of human interaction because some people quite like Zoom. I’m all for people getting to do more of that if it suits them, but as a “we may all just have to”… no.

@Lacedwithgrace

Why is loneliness more of an issue than saving or extending lives?

They are both an issue.

it is heartbreaking to have someone die whom you love.

People can literally die of loneliness as well.

Both an issue.

It’s so comforting seeing others voice how I am feeling. I live 100+ miles from close friends and family so as restrictions began to be lifted they could meet for a walk outside, but we couldn’t stay the night away from home so I couldn’t see them still. It made me feel so isolated and like i am not part of their world, something I still feel now.

I loved travel but now don’t have the confidence as there are too many “what ifs” involved.

I was a busy, sociable person before all this and I loved writing my plans on our calendar, now I do it and wonder if they will happen.

I miss my old life

Loneliness is a huge problem, and even if all you care about is health then it’s a problem for that too. (Not just during the pandemic but it’s got worse through lockdowns of course.) Many people would not want their lives extended if that extension meant being social isolated for most of it.

There is something grindingly dulling about the combo of having to plan everything (pre-book, what are the rules, check if I’m allowed to do it, etc etc etc) and also not being able to count on it happening.

CorrBlimeyGG
I hated that everyone fell for the clapping shite. The government did fuck all to help NHS workers, but stand on the doorstep for five minutes once a week yomping like a seal and all is forgiven! I think it made a fair few Tory voters feel better about themselves too, that and donating a fiver to some old bloke walking round his garden.

Plus
Clapping for themselves , easing consciences, but no it did not help the NHS . The Tories continue to run the NHS in to the ground and sell it off to their cronies. Clapping on a Thursday . What a load of useless blks that was .

If I had a crystal ball that showed me regular lockdowns and restrictions becoming normal in the future, I’d kill myself.

As blunt as it is, it’s the truth. I think the hope that this is all temporary is what gets people through.

Some of us are mainly glad to be alive

People should be clapping for the pub owners not the NHS. The people who actually gave us what small scraps of joy we could get, on the frontline, with the constant threat of losing their livelihoods hanging over their heads and no sick or holiday pay or safe pension

@LifesTooShortForYourNonsense

Yes, it’s been shit. But I think we will find new ways of connecting. My gym went online - I now do more classes, and share the time with my kids. I’ve found new skills in teaching them, which gave me the confidence to change jobs (I’m now self employed, which might not be great for the future!) I work from home and have more family time, discovered more local walks. Kids activities went online, learning curve for everyone. We may just all have to change how we interact, and some people will hate it and some will be better off.

It's very easy to be blase about how we'll all just have to get used to 'interacting' via a screen when, as your post suggests, you've pretty much got your life sorted.

Going by your post, you've got an established job, have finished your main education, have children and presumably a partner too. But what about a university student stuck in their tiny room 'learning' via a screen and missing out on what should be some of the best years of their life? Or someone looking for a partner? Or someone starting out on their working life, with no real-life interaction with colleagues?

If you enjoy 'interacting' online, that's fine. The option was there for you long before the pandemic. But absolutely no way am I going to accept that gurning at a screen is anything more than the palest substitute for real life human relationships. I suspect I'm not the only one.

@GoldenOmber

Loneliness is a huge problem, and even if all you care about is health then it’s a problem for that too. (Not just during the pandemic but it’s got worse through lockdowns of course.) Many people would not want their lives extended if that extension meant being social isolated for most of it.

Including plenty of our elderly vulnerable relatives.

@Lacedwithgrace

Why is loneliness more of an issue than saving or extending lives?

Could you point me to where someone actually said this?

I agree with your post and also agree that any trust in this government to manage this difficult situation has gone too which makes me even more depressed. Where do we go from here🤷‍♀️

@Lacedwithgrace

Why is loneliness more of an issue than saving or extending lives?

It shouldn’t be… mental health services are also horrifically underfunded, as is social care. It’s not a competition but should be seen in context. The nhs should be there for us… instead we are asked not to see loved ones for last time at the same time nurses are leaving due to burnout…and I cannot stress this enough… the lack of social care is why hospitals are struggling up to now… omicron will just tip it x

@iBrows

What I’ve hated the most is the way people seem to have become “unfriendly” - loudly judging others, horrible Facebook posts, calling the police on their own neighbours etc.

It makes me distrust people after seeing that they can turn nasty so quickly. I think it happens because they feel powerless and it helps them to feel they have some form of control.

Me too. It’s shown the worst side of human nature.

@sharkyandme

I'm heartbroken too. Yes. Heartbroken is the word. It's driven a wedge between all my relationships in some form or another. I am exhausted. My mum's exhausted from listening to my exhaustion. We are not ok.

This is exactly how I feel. I just got off the phone with my mum after a big, pointless row with her just because we’re so fed up and exhausted and stressed.