Don't understand this attitude

[bigbabs]

Was having a chat with a colleague about Christmas plans and they said with a little smirk that they just weren't going to test before going to their family for Christmas even though several attending are older, vulnerable relatives.

I was a bit taken aback. Colleague got very defensive, said we can't live like this forever and that I need to 'give my head a wobble and stop being controlled.'

In this situation surely the only people you are cheating are your family. If you've put yourself at risk in the days or weeks before Christmas then make a conscious choice not to take a test just because the result may well be positive, you aren't be clever or rebellious. And if you do end up testing positive afterwards and giving it to an elderly relatives how do you square that with yourself morally?

Like everyone I am sick of the restrictions but when it comes to keeping people safe, especially my own family, I will try and do it even if that means missing out. Is she right or am I missing something?

Generally speaking, the people with that mindset don’t believe covid is a “thing” so they don’t see it as them putting their relatives at risk.

On the flip side some elderly family of ours were offended when we stayed away having been in close contact. They saw it as their decision having been fully vaccinated and want to take the risk, which is still very small for people in their 80s, rather than not see people in their later years. They didn’t care about lateral flow testing as it’s not designed to be accurate on an individual level.

Do people actually say “give your head a wobble” - missing point entirely

It all depends.

My parents and PIL are in their 70s and classed as vulnerable. They don't insist on us doing tests etc before we visit. They know the kids are in school and likely to bring covid and/or worse home with them. But they take an educated risk in having us visit. My DM is also ridiculously over cautious about stuff. I wouldn't rock up to theirs if we were showing symptoms, in the same way I wouldn't visit if one of the kids had D&V.

If they insisted on testing before we visited, then it's an arsehole thing to pretend I have but not do it.

Well, it depends. If the elderly relatives are aware they’re not testing, and they don’t mind, then I genuinely do not see the issue.

I’m not testing, neither is anyone I’m seeing this Christmas. We know we’re all doing the same.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Do people actually say “give your head a wobble” - missing point entirely

@MrsSkylerWhite Rather that than "Wake Up" which is a favourite amongst the conspiracy theorists/outside of the box thinkers.

@BHX3000 why wouldnt you complete a free test, at home, that takes less than a minute to do?

[quote Whathefisgoingon]@BHX3000 why wouldnt you complete a free test, at home, that takes less than a minute to do?[/quote]

1. Because where I am tests aren’t free, nor are they considered valid if you do them at home.

2. Because I’m not testing every single time I meet another human being, and if my whole family isn’t doing one, why would I?

I'll probably test but I know my elderly relatives, who are going out more than me, won't.

@BHX3000

Well, it depends. If the elderly relatives are aware they’re not testing, and they don’t mind, then I genuinely do not see the issue.

I’m not testing, neither is anyone I’m seeing this Christmas. We know we’re all doing the same.

Absolutely do not get this attitude! If you care about the person you're meeting, why on earth wouldn't you do what you can to protect them regardless of whether they themselves are testing? Yes, I know lateral flows produce a lot of false negatives, but they do work sometimes. I can think of two separate occasions when my DD avoided meeting up with someone incubating Covid because the other person did a lateral flow beforehand.

Testing is the simplest, most responsible thing to do if you are mixing with others. I cannot think why anyone would not do it before meeting vulnerable relatives

When did I say I was meeting vulnerable relatives? Posters have answered the question posed by the OP, but do we need to disclose all the details as to why we’re testing or not testing?

For all those quick to judge that I’m not testing, then please tell me why those members of my family who just had Covid 6 weeks ago should test. Nobody is even vulnerable or at risk. We barely have any Omicron here. We also welcome suggestions on how to afford hundreds of € in tests, just to ‘make sure’. Would you all be testing if an antigen device cost 20€ a piece?

What do you mean by 'if you've put yourself at risk?'

Everyone must keep testing. How else can we have these terrifying, scary big numbers?

I'm doing regular tests before doing different things, but am in two minds about it really. What seems to be messing up everything is people having to isolate at home when they aren't actually sick.

@HailAdrian if you've been to busy places. Pubs, shops, anywhere where other people are is a risk really given the high amount of cases right now.

I just don't understand why people wouldn't take such a simple precaution before seeing family. Yeah isolating is a pain especially when you're not sick but just because you're not, it doesn't mean a relative you pass it onto won't be.

Well I’m the most vulnerable person in our family and I don’t expect everyone I’m seeing over Christmas to do a test first , and I also won’t be testing unless I’m actually Ill.

Well, I'm personally thankful for all those who are and have been coming out because they are the reason I have a job!

'Elderly relatives' are generally capable of doing their own risk assessments, they can choose whether or not to 'put themselves at risk,' as you say.

@HailAdrian I'm not suggesting people shouldn't go out lol. I'm saying it's really easy to take a test before being around others

Fair enough but still, these elderly relatives can make up their own minds.

@BHX3000

When did I say I was meeting vulnerable relatives? Posters have answered the question posed by the OP, but do we need to disclose all the details as to why we’re testing or not testing?

For all those quick to judge that I’m not testing, then please tell me why those members of my family who just had Covid 6 weeks ago should test. Nobody is even vulnerable or at risk. We barely have any Omicron here. We also welcome suggestions on how to afford hundreds of € in tests, just to ‘make sure’. Would you all be testing if an antigen device cost 20€ a piece?

Exactly.

You are not anywhere close to being in the circumstances OP describes

• meeting vulnerable people
• lying about test result
• tests being free

It's the lying that is the problem. For I agree that that is simply cheating on your family.

Not testing, and people deciding their plans in light of knowing there has been no testing, is absolutely fine.

Telling people you step negative when no such thing has happened is a horrible thing to do to anyone, and worse when it is your (alleged) nearest and dearest

Telling people you step negative when no such thing has happened is a horrible thing to do to anyone, and worse when it is your (alleged) nearest and dearest

Very well put.

@HailAdrian

Fair enough but still, these elderly relatives can make up their own minds.

Yes, they can make up their own minds. However, if 2 days after meeting them you were confirmed positive with Covid and then 2 days after they they became ill or it progressed to being the worst case scenario, how would you feel? A few years ago a very dear relative caught flu from me (before I knew I had it) and subsequently died. I don't ever want to go through that again. And I don't care if anyone thinks I am over the top, it was horrible.

Thing is, the elderly & vulnerable can get really ill from anything. I or my DD gave my CEV mum a really nasty cold in 2018 & she ended up in hospital for 2 months with sepsis! I obviously felt pretty awful but she in fact told me to give my head a wobble as she could have literally caught a cold from anywhere and it’s her body that just over reacted.

My mum is still CEV & she looks after my kids twice a week. They constantly have coughs & colds but we don’t test them every single time they go to her house. They are both kids who get hysterical at tests (yes. I know it’s not that bad. You tell that to my irrational 4 year old & toddler).. my mum has said she does not expect us to put them through it every single week. So we test them if they seem particular under the weather, a new cough or a temp that lasts more than a couple hours. For colds & sneezes, we don’t.

It’s a risk for sure but life has to go on somehow without constantly jabbing a swab up your nose. We will all LF on Christmas Day.

I now know about 35 people with Omicron 🙈 even the 70+ category have it very mildly. My CEV colleague in London was petrified but is on day 6 now & it’s a very minor cold so far. It is looking hopeful that this won’t put so many people in hospital I think!

Your colleague is selfish. That is all.