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Original poster

Nearly crying in theatre

138 replies

4pmwinetimebebeh · 12/12/2021 17:51

We went to the theatre today with our 3 young kids to watch a Christmas show. It was so lovely, so well done, kids all loved it. At the end as it was wrapping up and the kids were all clapping and cheering and joining in I was just overcome with this huge wave of sadness. That we are all sitting in masks, that we couldn’t do this last year and overwhelmingly that this might be the last time we could do this in a while as things seem to be going to shit again. I had a huge lump in my throat and tears in my eyes and had to really control myself so I didn’t burst into tears.

I don’t want this to trigger anyone but I think we are all just really struggling with the uncertainty and potential for further restrictions again. I was so excited for Christmas and now the potential for another lockdown etc in the New Years has just ruined any good mood I had and I feel sad, anxious and on the verge of tears.

Just a shout out in case anyone is the same. It’s shit.

OP posts:
OnwardsAndSideways1 · 13/12/2021 18:56

@NeverForgetYourDreams just to say that your 15 year old will most likely be able to retake his GCSE's, at our local college there's at least two different pathways to doing this (GCSE's on their own, GCSE's as part of training for jobs). There will be heaps of children like this, who didn't get good grades, isolated too much, dropped out, just can't catch up, so try not to worry, but do contact the local colleges around you and speak to the staff there, they will outline some of the options and it will make you and him realise this isn't a one-time chance.

ChubbyMoomin · 13/12/2021 19:06

“Oh in that case thanks @HereticFanjo and thanks for the explanation @SSOYS. I always thought it was someone doing a weird ‘tadaaaa’ or jazz hands 😂”

🤣🤣 jazz hands!! I love this interpretation, you have brightened my day with that.

But yea I completely get where you are going from OP, these things make me emotional at the best of times but I think after the last 2 years we are probably all really feeling it.

PurpleIndigoViolet · 13/12/2021 19:08

I know what you mean OP. I’ve just come back from watching my 9 year old perform in her after school drama club end of term show. Pre-covid it wouldn’t have seemed anything particularly special or emotional, but sitting in a draughty hall with the other parents and watching the show I got teary thinking whether this bit of ‘normal’ is going to disappear again.

And we’re supposed to see Harry Potter in London in early January (rearranged from June 2020!). Who knows if that will happen.

The uncertainty, the Groundhog Day feelings - it’s no wonder so many of us are feeling low at the moment.

Ipigglemustdie · 13/12/2021 19:19

Nope not bothered in the slightest. Got my emotional diarrhoea under control thanks.

Downtown36 · 13/12/2021 19:22

@PurpleIndigoViolet The uncertainty, the Groundhog Day feelings - it’s no wonder so many of us are feeling low at the moment. - it’s exactly this. With so many of the nice and positive things now either cancelled or looking uncertain it feels like we are heading back to the days that all blurred into one whilst we just focused on surviving…

Hairiseverything · 13/12/2021 19:23

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

I'm already dreading DDs birthday in March. She hasn't had a party for two years now. Her 7th got cancelled last minute (in fact her 7th birthday was the last 'normal' day we had, her party should have been a few days later). Her 8th we couldn't organise due to lockdown. The thought of not having one for her ninth birthday... its the one thing that is breaking me. Her birthday is linked to the whole situation on my mind.

We were at the Panto on Saturday. The mask felt normal. Sad

I think your DD and I share a birthday! I feel rather hard done by but have to admit it's worse for your DD given that I'm 58 rather than 8 😂
SWeeks123 · 13/12/2021 19:54

I had the same at the cinema - I love the cinema and we all went to watch Jungle Cruise as a family. I was in tears at the start when all the logos came up, it was just like I was appreciating the world for the first time! So weird, and such a shame too, this weird mix of feeling of relief, and sadness for the loss of time. My son has missed so much in the last two years, I don’t want him to miss any more of life.

araminta27 · 13/12/2021 19:55

Professional theatre worker here and I can't tell you just how bad it has been and still is for the mostly freelance theatre workers. Companies of shows have been begging audiences to wear masks even before the new regulation because it could make such a difference to whether shows can go ahead. So many theatre companies are on the brink of disaster. (and I know it's not just theatres). If you can bring yourself to wear a mask, even when its not regulated, it makes a difference.

GlomOfNit · 13/12/2021 20:06

@TheVampiresWife

I get it, OP.

I had a similar moment this week. In the run up to Christmas I always (pre 2020!) take a 'day off' for myself before the madness begins. I get the bus (it's a famously scenic route) to a little market town about 20 miles away. While I'm there I have some lunch, do a bit of shopping and get the bus back as it's getting dark so I can see all the Christmas lights in the lovely little villages the bus passes through.

For some reason that annual trip became totemic last year when I couldn't go. It sort of crystallised all that was different and all that I was missing. It sounds silly but I was genuinely really, really upset by not going - but more than because of what it symbolised rather than the trip itself, iyswim.

I'm CV and had pretty much resigned myself to not going this year either, despite the fact that until about two weeks ago I was, and was so excited. The disappointment when I realised it was probably for the best to skip it again this year was crushing. But I woke up on Thursday morning, it was a beautiful clear crisp day, and I thought, fuck it. The bus is always almost empty, the town itself is sleepy, and I've already given up practically everything I love this year. So I went.

I had an absolutely gorgeous day. But on the way home it struck me that a) I was so, so grateful for being able to do it but b) it may be the last time I'd do anything else like it for months. Also how something I took so for granted in the past was now such A Thing. I was pretty overwhelmed and suddenly couldn't stop crying. On the bus. Like a twat.

So, yeah. Totally understand how you feel. It's horrible.

Flowers

That's so lovely but poignant. Flowers I know quite a few friends in your position. None of them are the slightest bit complacent and are not taking anything for granted. It's so hard.

OP, we went to the panto last weekend and the final number was basically a song saying 'hooray, we're back on stage, it was really hard last year but this is great', and I could hardly hold it in. Sad

GlomOfNit · 13/12/2021 20:08

@Ipigglemustdie

Nope not bothered in the slightest. Got my emotional diarrhoea under control thanks.
Ipigglemustdie what a fucking unhelpful and unsympathetic post. You must feel really proud of yourself, with your 'emotional diarrhoea' under control. Well done!
Idontcareboutthestateofmyhair · 13/12/2021 20:12

Felt the same at a panto a few weeks ago.. the cast were emotional, the audience.. massive standing ovation. Although I must say that not many of the adults were wearing masks!! I kept mine on whole show and I'm a very sweaty menopausal women lol

ColourMeExhausted · 13/12/2021 20:22

I get it OP. It's all hitting me now, and today I've struggled. Seeing DD so excited about Christmas is lovely but also makes me sad...the experience should be so much more! As it stands, we're not allowed to watch her nativity in person or DS in his Joseph role at nursery. Didn’t think I'd mind too much but reading about others being able to go and watch their DC in nativity is making me very emotional. Feels so unfair we can't do the same, and well aware we'll never get these precious years back.

I've tried so hard to be jolly and festive and make things magical...but after a covid notification case following a Christmas party we were at on Saturday, another cancelled plan to see a dear friend today and some sad family news, plus waiting to hear what will happen in Scotland tomorrow...I'm done. Just feels overwhelmingly rubbish. Hugs to all feeling like this.

nopuppiesallowed · 13/12/2021 20:59

I think that there is a general sadness around because as adults, we know what normal was like. For younger children, this IS normal - and we don't want this sort of life for them. But remember - you mums are doing an amazing job. Keep smiling in front of your children and keep acting as if all this is just part of every day life and you will help them feel stable in an unstable world. And look after yourselves. It's practically impossible to live without constant reminders from MSM about how difficult all this is (as if we need to be told this!), but try to only listen to the news once a day or it really will add to your sadness. Some of my good friends have died during the pandemic and just thinking about it and not being allowed to go to their funerals makes me a bit teary. I missed another funeral today -an elderly neighbour who died in hospital. I have a terrible cough and although the PCR test was negative, if I'd gone to the church I could have cleared the building in minutes by a fit of coughing. Lots of sadness. BUT this won't last for ever. I promise you. As a much loved 93 year old keeps telling me "The best is yet to come!"

NippySweetie16 · 13/12/2021 21:02

Completely agree. This is like living on shifting sands and the stress is really biting now.

LovelyIssues · 13/12/2021 21:22

My youngest DC nativity was cancelled again this year. Its the final year they do them and I had a huge lump in my throat knowing I'll never watch one of my babies nativities again Sad end of an era 2 Christmas' back and we had no idea

Mamanyt · 14/12/2021 00:40

I know how "Pollyanna" this sounds, but I try to find some small good, and focus on that. It beats, for me, wallowing in despair. But there is a learning curve, and it takes practice.

rrhuth · 14/12/2021 06:00

@Mamanyt

I know how "Pollyanna" this sounds, but I try to find some small good, and focus on that. It beats, for me, wallowing in despair. But there is a learning curve, and it takes practice.
I posted about toxic positivity upthread, and this is another potential example. We all need to find a balance, but feeling negative feelings, and being ok with that, is healthy.
ScottishPine · 14/12/2021 06:56

I’m going to be jumped on for this, but this thread has made me VERY cross.

What self indulgent rubbish. Covid has been hard for all of us. Some of us lost relatives that we never got to say goodbye to. Some people lost jobs, ended up in serious financial messes, we’re impacted by major mental health and physical health issues. I know someone who wasn’t able to go to a serious medical appointment and the outcome has been absolutely devastating.

Yet people are crying because they are actually AT their children’s nativities? Because they won’t be able to go and see Santa’s? Because their children might not go to the theatre to see the Lion King, something they will likely not remember in 20 years time? For gods sakes, if we lock down again and businesses are closed then I have no idea what will happen to my family’s finances, but quite frankly I’d rather sit through a nativity in a mask or miss a Harry Potter theatre performance than have to go through another horrific loss, or have anyone else go through that. Have anyone lose their lives, their houses, they jobs, their businesses.

I don’t care if people tell me that I’m unsympathetic or that it’s okay to be sad about the small things, of course it is, but maybe read the room and think about what people are really going through. Put in your big girl pants and have a little understanding

rrhuth · 14/12/2021 06:59

You just sound like you don't understand humans @ScottishPine

Have a Biscuit

People are crying about all of it, but it is often the little things that often set people off. You are not the emotion police, which is good as you appear not to have much understanding.

wasthataburp · 14/12/2021 07:00
Thanks
ScottishPine · 14/12/2021 07:12

@rrhuth you aren’t the ‘emotion police’ either. You get to share you opinion and I get to share mine.

And quite frankly, for giving me a sarcastic biscuit and telling me I don’t have much human emotion makes me think you aren’t a nice person when I’ve just said I’m mourning someone who died due to Covid and don’t know how I’m going to pay my mortgage but hey. You have a nice day.

Cornettoninja · 14/12/2021 07:32

@ScottishPine, my df is currently in hospital waiting to be moved to a hospice for end of life care but can’t because he’s just been diagnosed with covid. I haven’t been able to see him for three months because of visiting restrictions, I’m unlikely to see him in person again at this point.

I cry on occasion for the little things my dd (6) is missing out on including never getting to see her in nativity with a teatowel on her head or other things that should be simple but just aren’t now. I’ve already posted once on this thread so am obviously included in your telling off.

Honestly, take your own advice and read the room.

rrhuth · 14/12/2021 07:34

[quote ScottishPine]@rrhuth you aren’t the ‘emotion police’ either. You get to share you opinion and I get to share mine.

And quite frankly, for giving me a sarcastic biscuit and telling me I don’t have much human emotion makes me think you aren’t a nice person when I’ve just said I’m mourning someone who died due to Covid and don’t know how I’m going to pay my mortgage but hey. You have a nice day.[/quote]
You may not be the only person mourning, is my point, and you've come on here to shut people down.

I am sorry for your loss Flowers

TheVampiresWife · 14/12/2021 07:38

@ScottishPine

I’m going to be jumped on for this, but this thread has made me VERY cross.

What self indulgent rubbish. Covid has been hard for all of us. Some of us lost relatives that we never got to say goodbye to. Some people lost jobs, ended up in serious financial messes, we’re impacted by major mental health and physical health issues. I know someone who wasn’t able to go to a serious medical appointment and the outcome has been absolutely devastating.

Yet people are crying because they are actually AT their children’s nativities? Because they won’t be able to go and see Santa’s? Because their children might not go to the theatre to see the Lion King, something they will likely not remember in 20 years time? For gods sakes, if we lock down again and businesses are closed then I have no idea what will happen to my family’s finances, but quite frankly I’d rather sit through a nativity in a mask or miss a Harry Potter theatre performance than have to go through another horrific loss, or have anyone else go through that. Have anyone lose their lives, their houses, they jobs, their businesses.

I don’t care if people tell me that I’m unsympathetic or that it’s okay to be sad about the small things, of course it is, but maybe read the room and think about what people are really going through. Put in your big girl pants and have a little understanding

What a nasty, unnecessary post.

People aren't crying 'because they're at their children's nativities'. People are crying because of the uncertainty and loss and fear and how it's crystallised in these moments.

Lots of us have lost loved ones to Covid. Some of us are practically shut-ins, whereas before we had full, busy, rewarding lives, because we're vulnerable and have lost pretty much all the things that made life worth living. Many of us have been touched by the loss of livelihoods. Some of us have been in MH crisis over the past two years. Every single person on this thread has experienced loss of one kind or another, and it's when we do things which were just 'normal' two years ago it hits us.

How dare you vilify people for feeling.

TheVampiresWife · 14/12/2021 07:41

@Ipigglemustdie

Nope not bothered in the slightest. Got my emotional diarrhoea under control thanks.
Shame you haven't got your nasty, lack of empathy-itis under control, too.