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Original poster

Close contacts refusing to do PCRs

72 replies

PissedoffWeddingGuest · 20/10/2021 07:57

A family member has tested positive. Two other family members who are close contacts are refusing PCRs. They have said that they aren’t required to do PCRs, which is legally true. I understand that. However, there is a reason they are refusing; they are the bride and groom at a wedding next week and clearly don’t want to have to cancel it. I am extremely angry at how irresponsible they are being, particularly as one of them is a teacher. Lots of other teachers from the same school will be attending the wedding so they are potentially creating a massive staff shortage problem for the school on top of everything else.

Both of them are saying different things about when the family member tested positive and when they are due out of isolation so I know that there is a cover up. Even if they said that they were doing PCR tests now, I wouldn’t believe them!

Should I just not go to the wedding (and deal with the massive family fall out from that)?

OP posts:
AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 08:09

Up to you if you feel comfortable going or not really. If you are worried then don't go.

AutumnLeafy · 20/10/2021 08:10

No point going just to please other people if there's a risk you'll catch covid and get ill

RedRiverShore · 20/10/2021 08:14

Just don't go, you obviously won't know anyone's Covid status there

nanabow · 20/10/2021 08:20

If you don't want to go then don't go.

But don't judge them for following guidelines, and wanting to not cancel their wedding (probably again) after a really crappy year and a half.

nanabow · 20/10/2021 08:24

Also, the whole one of them being a teacher and loads of teacher being there makes doing a PCR pretty much pointless.

All the teachers there would have been in contact with Covid on pretty much a daily basis for the past month. But still going about their daily lives; going to the cinema, shopping, pubs, etc, without taking PCR tests.

Why should this wedding be any different?

BluebellsGreenbells · 20/10/2021 08:32

Lots of other teachers from the same school will be attending the wedding so they are potentially creating a massive staff shortage problem for the school on top of everything else

The government guidelines are creating a staff shortage at schools. Teachers share spaces and meetings - whole school assemblies - unmasked kids - parents not required by law to do LFT even twice weekly.

That is causing issues

It’s a different mind set because teachers and other staff have to assume that working in covid soup will mean they defiantly will be exposed and have a higher chance of catching covid.

Now whether you want to chance a wedding I’d say 100 people for a few hours compared to their chance of mixing with hundreds of non vaccinated children for 32.5 hours a week is entirely different.

TertiusLydgate · 20/10/2021 08:40

I think you shouldn’t go if you’re concerned.

Let the bride and groom get on with it. I wouldn’t blame them, tbh.

twelly · 20/10/2021 08:41

The PCR test only proves they are negative at that point so say 3 days after close contact only shows you are virus free at that point - the incubation period could be unto 14 days (or maybe more - noone is sue.) Due to the fact the guidance is not so confused I fully understand their point of view.

tiggerwhocamefortea · 20/10/2021 08:44

The wedding is next week so they'd be out of isolation then anyway most likely if the family member tested positive today and close contact is classed as the proceeding 2 days so their 10 days would be up 🤷🏻‍♀️- so I just think you are being a bit awkward

PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2021 08:45

To be honest, I do have some sympathy for them. It’s not as if they have symptoms and are refusing to isolate. Obviously it would be better if they did PCRs but as you say, it’s not the law.

Anyone at the wedding could be positive. By next week they’d practically be out of isolation anyway. Presumably the wedding is next Saturday at the start of half term. I would just go but it sounds like you’ve already made your mind up.

Arabelladrinkstea · 20/10/2021 08:47

Stop being a drama llama and be realistic - they are working with children unmasked for 30 hrs per week every week.

Don’t try and ruin their wedding by creating a scene Sad

Topseyt · 20/10/2021 08:56

@Arabelladrinkstea

Stop being a drama llama and be realistic - they are working with children unmasked for 30 hrs per week every week.

Don’t try and ruin their wedding by creating a scene Sad

I was going to say this too

I think you are overreacting and being ridiculous. Go to the wedding if you want to, don't go if you don't want to. Stop being all sanctimonious over Covid though. They are in contact with it daily, or the one who teaches is

This bollocks has to stop. It is so divisive.

LindaEllen · 20/10/2021 09:15

'They're the bride and groom at a wedding next week'.

What a bloody bizarre way to say they're getting married next week.

Sorry but by the time the wedding comes around, even if they did have it they wouldn't be contagious anymore. I don't blame them for not doing something that they don't legally have to, when it could a) ruin their big day or b) royally fuck up the last few days they have to prep for the day.

The time of covid ruling our every move HAS to be over now. Most people are double jabbed.

ExceptionalAssurance · 20/10/2021 09:24

@Arabelladrinkstea

Stop being a drama llama and be realistic - they are working with children unmasked for 30 hrs per week every week.

Don’t try and ruin their wedding by creating a scene Sad

Yeah, this.
Maryann1975 · 20/10/2021 09:36

@Arabelladrinkstea

Stop being a drama llama and be realistic - they are working with children unmasked for 30 hrs per week every week.

Don’t try and ruin their wedding by creating a scene Sad

Exactly this. Your friends aren’t breaking any laws. Blame the government for putting in such lax measures to ‘control the spread’. Teachers are at risk every day of catching the virus, if the rules were that close contacts in schools had to take a test before returning to the classroom, no one would ever be in. I don’t begrudge them not wanting to take a test That might put their wedding at risk. They’ve got to be able to live their lives or what’s the point?
If you are socialising with teachers at the moment, I think Unfortunately you have to accept That they may well be harbouring the virus (and if it isn’t covid, it’s probably something else that the children have passed on to them).
Kiduknot · 20/10/2021 09:43

As a teacher, the positive family member is probably only YET ANOTHER close contact.

You don’t like the thought of being in contact with them. Fair enough. Think about whether you want I go to the wedding where there will be lots of teachers. But also spare a thought for all of us who work in schools who have no choice.

Silverswirl · 20/10/2021 09:45

I wouldn’t be doing a pcr either. Even when I had covid I didn’t do a pcr.
Totally get where they are coming from and if I was in their position I would do the same.

zafferana · 20/10/2021 09:45

They don't have to get PCRs. In fact, unless they have symptoms the advice is NOT to get a PCR, but to do regular LFTs.

Silverswirl · 20/10/2021 09:47

Oh and also- most of us are probably contacts of someone with covid most of the time being as it’s literally everywhere.
And unless you are doing a pcr every day then you won’t know for sure if you have covid or not in a few days time.
Maybe it will be you who has it and hasn’t realised or done a pcr and gives it to everyone else at the wedding.

Tailendofsummer · 20/10/2021 09:49

If the OP is the groom's great grandmother, she would be well advised to stay away from the wedding.

byvirtue · 20/10/2021 09:51

Hmm bride and groom don’t want to do a PCR test they aren’t legally obliged to do because it might jeopardise their wedding and cost them possibly (tens of) thousands of pounds.

You are being completely unreasonable. Don’t go if it bothers you that much. Let them know now so they aren’t wasting extra money on someone who doesn’t want to be there.

sendaisnow · 20/10/2021 09:52

No way would I do a PCR under those circumstances. I won't unless legally obliged to.

Mazblue86 · 20/10/2021 10:00

I teach in a secondary school and I genuinely think I've had over 100 close contacts with covid in the last ten days.

You are being highly unreasonable. And I'd uninvite you from the wedding if you were demanding PCR tests from me. You're not going as a favour to the bride and groom.

Original poster
PissedoffWeddingGuest · 20/10/2021 10:05

Lots of selfish people on this thread. If you organise a wedding in a pandemic then you take some responsibility for your guests including those that are elderly and CEV. If you are a close contact (actually live in the same house as the person who has tested positive) you don’t (1) refuse to do PCR tests; (2) change the isolation period for the person that has tested positive so that they can come out of isolation early to stay at the venue the night before and (3) spout crap that PCR tests are of no use unless you have symptoms. I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s wedding. Earlier this year I didn’t attend a wedding because I came down with a temperature on the morning of the wedsing and my PCR test didn’t come back in time. It’s called being responsible.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2021 10:08

Earlier this year I didn’t attend a wedding because I came down with a temperature on the morning of the wedsing and my PCR test didn’t come back in time. It’s called being responsible.

That’s a totally different situation. You were legally obliged to stay at home with covid symptoms until you got a negative pcr.

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