Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Close contacts refusing to do PCRs

72 replies

PissedoffWeddingGuest · 20/10/2021 07:57

A family member has tested positive. Two other family members who are close contacts are refusing PCRs. They have said that they aren’t required to do PCRs, which is legally true. I understand that. However, there is a reason they are refusing; they are the bride and groom at a wedding next week and clearly don’t want to have to cancel it. I am extremely angry at how irresponsible they are being, particularly as one of them is a teacher. Lots of other teachers from the same school will be attending the wedding so they are potentially creating a massive staff shortage problem for the school on top of everything else.

Both of them are saying different things about when the family member tested positive and when they are due out of isolation so I know that there is a cover up. Even if they said that they were doing PCR tests now, I wouldn’t believe them!

Should I just not go to the wedding (and deal with the massive family fall out from that)?

OP posts:
Original poster
PissedoffWeddingGuest · 20/10/2021 10:09

@Mazblue86 and you request that pupils who are close contacts have PCR tests but don’t think you should do them yourself! Completely hypocritical.

OP posts:
Original poster
PissedoffWeddingGuest · 20/10/2021 10:10

@PurpleDaisies different but the same…taking responsibility.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2021 10:12

[quote PissedoffWeddingGuest]@PurpleDaisies different but the same…taking responsibility.[/quote]
It is not the same at all. You had no choice. They do.

Topseyt · 20/10/2021 10:16

@PissedoffWeddingGuest

Lots of selfish people on this thread. If you organise a wedding in a pandemic then you take some responsibility for your guests including those that are elderly and CEV. If you are a close contact (actually live in the same house as the person who has tested positive) you don’t (1) refuse to do PCR tests; (2) change the isolation period for the person that has tested positive so that they can come out of isolation early to stay at the venue the night before and (3) spout crap that PCR tests are of no use unless you have symptoms. I’m not trying to ruin anyone’s wedding. Earlier this year I didn’t attend a wedding because I came down with a temperature on the morning of the wedsing and my PCR test didn’t come back in time. It’s called being responsible.
No. There are a lot of normal people on this thread.

I am CEV. I don't hold with this bullshit about PCR tests willy nilly. I would go to the wedding without a second thought if I wanted to and wouldn't worry at all about the bride and groom and PCR tests.

I think you are here to stand on a soapbox though regarding Covid and the rules you personally think everyone should be following.

Original poster
PissedoffWeddingGuest · 20/10/2021 10:17

@PurpleDaisies I’m remember that the next time the teacher is complaining about parents not testing their children…

OP posts:
Original poster
PissedoffWeddingGuest · 20/10/2021 10:19

@Topseyt just fed up of people saying one thing and doing another. And undertaking a PCR test when you live with someone who has Covid is not “Willy nilly”. It’s best practice.

OP posts:
Doomscrolling · 20/10/2021 10:20

If they are teachers, the poor sods are in close contact every damned day.

It’s not their fault the government decided to allow schools to be festering Petri dishes of Covid! Teachers are never not in contact with someone who has Covid, if DD’s high school is anything to go by.

Tailendofsummer · 20/10/2021 10:26

You are saying they are in the same household? You didn't say that at the start

PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2021 10:28

You clearly want people to bow down and thank you for doing something that was mandated by law while vilifying people who haven’t taken a test they don’t have to.

As I said before, you’ve made up your mind. I wonder what the point of this thread is.

jackstini · 20/10/2021 10:35

Unless they have symptoms they don't have to do a PCR - you can't make them

3 out of our family of 4 all had Covid 2 weeks ago, but ds never got it

If they are a teacher, they will be close contact with multiple people anyway

Lying about the isolation period for someone who has actually tested positive I do agree is wrong

You choose whether or not to attend the wedding depending on your own circumstances but you don't get to force them to test

StripeyBadger · 20/10/2021 10:42

Considering the number of parents and children not doing LFT/PCR, being vaccinated or tested, I would expect them to be in weekly/daily contact with someone who has covid at the moment.

ExceptionalAssurance · 20/10/2021 10:48

@Tailendofsummer

You are saying they are in the same household? You didn't say that at the start
Yep, drip feeding!
Muttly · 20/10/2021 10:52

These people are obeying the rules OP. They just aren’t obeying your rules. You sound incredibly controlling in this thread.

southcarolina · 20/10/2021 10:56

Anyone going to a wedding now is accepting risk of covid. That's the bottom line.
You seem to not be able to see the irony of them being exposed to covid repeatedly in the classroom without issue, but being very sure that following s personal exposure they should PCR?

Original poster
PissedoffWeddingGuest · 20/10/2021 10:58

@Tailendofsummer Sorry, thought that I had. Yes, the person with Covid lives in the same house. They are their DC.

Never made any attempt to force them to have a test. My question was whether I should go to the wedding or not.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 20/10/2021 11:03

[quote PissedoffWeddingGuest]@Topseyt just fed up of people saying one thing and doing another. And undertaking a PCR test when you live with someone who has Covid is not “Willy nilly”. It’s best practice.[/quote]
It is your best practice. Nobody else is that bothered so unless you want to put yourself across as a tit then keep quiet. If you go to the wedding then go with a good grace, not being critical because the bride and groom are not following YOUR own made up rules.

Basically, the current rules and legislation (which they are adhering to) do not match what YOU believe they should be.

BlibBlabBlob · 20/10/2021 11:03

Eh COVID is everywhere at the moment, especially in schools. Getting a PCR right now would only prove they weren't infected RIGHT NOW. Doesn't mean they won't test positive at some point in the next 10-14 days.

I've been living with and sharing a bedroom with DH and DD. She tested positive and finishes isolation at midnight tonight. He tested positive two days later than her and is isolating until this weekend. It has taken me until this morning - 10 full days since DD's symptoms started - to test positive myself.

I've been self-isolating with them as a precaution. I will now self-isolate for a full 10 days, starting with tomorrow as Day 1.

But if I'd taken a PCR a week ago, and relied on that as evidence that I hadn't caught COVID instead of doing daily LFTs since DD tested positive, I would have been out there in the world spreading it.

The issue here isn't that they are refusing to take a PCR. Hopefully they are doing regular LFTs and hopefully they wouldn't decide to go ahead with the wedding if one of them tested positive. But this obsession with a single PCR for close contacts is nonsensical.

SummerInSun · 20/10/2021 11:13

[quote PissedoffWeddingGuest]@Tailendofsummer Sorry, thought that I had. Yes, the person with Covid lives in the same house. They are their DC.

Never made any attempt to force them to have a test. My question was whether I should go to the wedding or not.[/quote]
You shouldn't go because you are clearly uncomfortable and if you are going to spend the day whispering in other people's ears about how selfish and irresponsible they are being then you are going to taint the day for everyone. You talk about selfishness, but if you do that it would be the most selfish thing possible. Either put it out of your mind and go with good grace, or stay at home feeling self righteous.

I agree with everyone else. This is now an endemic disease, we are all around it all the time, especially teachers. You wouldn't say they should cancel their wedding of their DC had flu, just because they might be about to come down with flu, especially if they had had flu vaccines.

sendaisnow · 20/10/2021 11:19

[quote PissedoffWeddingGuest]@Topseyt just fed up of people saying one thing and doing another. And undertaking a PCR test when you live with someone who has Covid is not “Willy nilly”. It’s best practice.[/quote]
Who says it's best practice? You?

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 20/10/2021 11:23

OP I think you need to re-check the rules. From what you have said they aren't doing anything wrong.

When one of my family members tested positive their spouse was told by NHS Test and Trace to do regular LFTs but no need to isolate or do a PCR.

PurpleDaisies · 20/10/2021 11:33

Who says it's best practice? You?

Of course it’s best practice. It’s what’s recommended by the nhs. It’s utterly ridiculous to pretend it isn’t.

That doesn’t mean the bride and groom have to take a pcr.

Bobholll · 20/10/2021 11:40

You’ve clearly already made your mind up & are fuming at your relatives for following the actual rules 🤦🏼‍♀️ So don’t go. Cos you’ll be a bloody awful wedding guest sat their pissed off, judging them, judging everyone else & muttering about covid all day.

I can say with almost certain certainty they won’t be the only ones at their wedding who have been close covid contacts & haven’t done a PCR. All their teaching colleagues will be the same for a start. They’ll be teaching kids with covid probably most days 🙈

OnwardsAndSideways1 · 20/10/2021 11:42

Do not go to a wedding if it's full of teachers anyway and you are scared of covid, I'm a teacher at uni and covid is absolutely everywhere. really, just don't go, they will not be the only source of potential covid at the wedding.

Me, I would go, I stand in rooms with 50 students unmasked all the time and take my chances, as my work dictates.

There isn't a way at the moment, to limit the spread, they are not legally obliged to do PCRs and even if they did one now it doesn't mean they wouldn't have covid by next week, does it, especially if it's in the household.

If you are very CV or very old, I just wouldn't go to a wedding, everyone else, I would crack on! You can't control covid risk though in the way you think you can...

sendaisnow · 20/10/2021 11:49

@PurpleDaisies

Who says it's best practice? You?

Of course it’s best practice. It’s what’s recommended by the nhs. It’s utterly ridiculous to pretend it isn’t.

That doesn’t mean the bride and groom have to take a pcr.

NHS website says you "can" get a PCR test if you are a close contact. Not that you should or that it's best practice. Let's not exaggerate.
Iwonder08 · 20/10/2021 11:49

Do them a favour and not go to the wedding. Ideally without creating a drama. Each guest is responsible for their own health and can decide if they want to attend.