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Child positive - adults socialise as normal?

89 replies

tactum · 13/10/2021 08:11

Child did positive lateral flow yest am. Us and she booked in for PCR this am. If she comes back positive and the adults come back negative would you literally continue as you had planned or not?
We both wfh so that's no problem, have a large house and she's a teenager so perfectly capable of isolating from us/using kitchen at a different time/leave food outside her door.

But we have a couple of social events arranged over the next 10 days - not at our house - at a pub etc with friends, which have been looked forward to for a long time. If we did negative lateral flow tests on that day would you still go? Our friends will know child is positive. Will they be judging us? Is it unacceptable? Everyone is double jabbed and not vulnerable.

We have adjusted behaviour in that my cousin was supposed to be coming to stay here this weekend and now isn't, and I won't be visiting my vulnerable dad at all.

What do people think? I know what the guidelines say - we can do what we like - but what is 'socially acceptable?' (I realise there is a very wide range of opinion here on risk etc!)

OP posts:
Igneo · 13/10/2021 22:26

As well as getting a PCR test, you may also consider:

limiting close contact with people outside your household, especially in enclosed spaces

wearing a face covering in enclosed spaces and where you are unable to maintain social distancing

limiting contact with anyone who has an underlying health condition that puts them at higher risk of severe illness if infected with COVID-19

taking part in twice weekly LFD testing

Igneo · 13/10/2021 22:29

I’m following that guidance.
And am lucky that i can wfh: my boss has instructed me to do so even tho it’s not the law.
Good luck navigating it.

NigelSlatersXmasTaters · 13/10/2021 22:34

No. We tested positive one after the other. As one person came to the end of their isolation the next developed symptoms!

The kids still went to school but we cancelled everything else and got shopping delivered etc. It was a month in all.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 13/10/2021 23:00

I would judge. You have no idea who in public is CEV or might have a household member that is. It’s just 10 days, if you can wfh I’d just book a food shop delivery and isolate.

disneydreaming · 13/10/2021 23:29

My daughter tested positive and was really quite ill with it. I am double jabbed and despite caring for her whilst she was ill and not social distancing from her at all I never tested positive.

The guidance is to take pcr test and if it's negative to continue as normal unless you show symptoms so I personally wouldn't judge you.

Go enjoy your nights out.

Fallagain · 13/10/2021 23:38

I would judge you. There are still ECV people out there, for some of whom the vaccine is not effective.

TeamRick · 13/10/2021 23:41

I'm positive atm, double vaccinated and quite poorly, DH also double vaccinated and so far negative from LFT's we've both isolated.
We did a click n collect supermarket order but other than that it just seems irresponsible!

LilyPond2 · 14/10/2021 00:09

@worriedatthemoment

Its ok people saying its irresponsible etc but I would be expected to go to work if negative pcr and no symptoms even if ds had covid
I think going to work where a failure to do so would be treated as unauthorised absence is ethically very different from choosing to go to pubs/restaurants or use public transport for purely social reasons. I think people who are forced into work when they have a Covid positive person at home should consider whether there is anything they can do to reduce risk, eg holding conversations with colleagues by phone rather than face to face. Obviously, what risk reduction measures are possible will vary hugely from job to job.
Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 14/10/2021 00:14

I think people are either isolating too if they can or not telling anyone and carrying on.

Personally I wouldn’t care but might be more cautious about keeping my distance if I knew.

CarrieBlue · 14/10/2021 08:03

I’d judge you and no way would I want to meet up with you. It’s insane that household members are expected to go to work if there’s a positive case, but socialising is even worse and selfish too

Igneo · 14/10/2021 08:32

The guidance is to take pcr test and if it's negative to continue as normal unless you show symptoms

This isn’t true.
I quoted the guidance in italics above. It does not say continue as normal.

mariebaby3 · 14/10/2021 11:05

We’ve just been through this and we cancelled social plans that we had (not that we had many). I just didn’t see it as worth the risk to our friends and family regardless of whether they were okay with it or not. DH had one family commitment that he couldn’t get out of near the end of isolation but that felt okay as we’d been doing daily lateral flows and it was after the 2nd recommended PCR test.

The guidance says:

‘If you are not required to self-isolate, you should do the following during the period you would have been self-isolating:

limit close contact with other people outside your household and avoid crowded settings, especially in enclosed spaces

practice regular hand washing

wear a face covering in enclosed spaces and where you are unable to maintain social distancing

limit contact with anyone who is clinically extremely vulnerable

continue to take part in regular asymptomatic testing

You can still become infected with COVID-19 and spread the infection to others.’

We saw that as you can go about your business I.e we still did our shopping etc

mariebaby3 · 14/10/2021 11:07

@mariebaby3

We’ve just been through this and we cancelled social plans that we had (not that we had many). I just didn’t see it as worth the risk to our friends and family regardless of whether they were okay with it or not. DH had one family commitment that he couldn’t get out of near the end of isolation but that felt okay as we’d been doing daily lateral flows and it was after the 2nd recommended PCR test.

The guidance says:

‘If you are not required to self-isolate, you should do the following during the period you would have been self-isolating:

limit close contact with other people outside your household and avoid crowded settings, especially in enclosed spaces

practice regular hand washing

wear a face covering in enclosed spaces and where you are unable to maintain social distancing

limit contact with anyone who is clinically extremely vulnerable

continue to take part in regular asymptomatic testing

You can still become infected with COVID-19 and spread the infection to others.’

We saw that as you can go about your business I.e we still did our shopping etc

… posted too soon! We still popped to the shops if needed (masked) and went for walks/took my other DS for a kick about in the field etc but still mostly stayed home.
Tigerwhocameforsupper · 14/10/2021 11:19

What I don’t understand is that surely if you are infectious for 10 days, and it can take 7 to show symptoms/get a positive result after exposure then couldn’t you actually spread it 17 days later not 10?

If person A passed on the virus to a household member on day 10 of their isolation, then person B would have ended isolation but still has a further 7 days where they could develop symptoms and become infectious? So actually household members should be careful for a lot longer than the 10 days that the first person is isolating for?

Bunsnbobbins · 14/10/2021 11:31

I tested negative then positive days later when my child had it so you can’t assume you’re negative. It took more than a week for me to test positive.

There will be other people in the pub. It’s airborne. I think you’re being unfair on others but I understand your disappointment.

Here’s what the guidance actually says. It doesn’t say continue as normal. I am really sorry for you and hope you avoid it and your family are all well soon.

“ Even if you are vaccinated, you can still be infected with COVID-19 and pass it on to others. If you are identified as a contact of someone with COVID-19 but you are not required to self-isolate, you can help protect others by following the guidance on how to stay safe and help prevent the spread. As well as getting a PCR test, you may also consider:

limiting close contact with other people outside your household, especially in enclosed spaces
wearing a face covering in enclosed spaces and where you are unable to maintain social distancing
limiting contact with anyone who has an underlying health condition that puts them at higher risk of severe illness if infected with COVID-19
taking part in twice weekly LFD testing
This advice applies while the person in your household with COVID-19 is self-isolating.”

Bunsnbobbins · 14/10/2021 11:33

@Tigerwhocameforsupper

What I don’t understand is that surely if you are infectious for 10 days, and it can take 7 to show symptoms/get a positive result after exposure then couldn’t you actually spread it 17 days later not 10?

If person A passed on the virus to a household member on day 10 of their isolation, then person B would have ended isolation but still has a further 7 days where they could develop symptoms and become infectious? So actually household members should be careful for a lot longer than the 10 days that the first person is isolating for?

Person B would restart their ten days on the day their symptoms begin. Or if asymptomatic, the day of the positive test.
HitchhikersGuide · 14/10/2021 11:36

We're really never going to get out of this mass health anxiety at this rate. For the rest of eternity, is everyone going to isolate for every virus they get.
Or are we now expecting Pharma to come up with a cure for death so that we can venture out among the other disease vectors that we used to consider human beings.

ApplesAreTheBaneOfMyLife · 14/10/2021 11:37

I’m in this boat at the moment. Ds1 (teen) has Covid.

I’m taking ds2 to school and going for dog walks but that’s about it.

I asked my friends how they felt and most said they didn’t feel comfortable seeing me until after the 10 days had passed, even for walks outside. I have one friend who walked with me today, and I consciously stayed 2 metres away from her the whole time.

I’ve been doing daily lateral flow tests too.

CarrieBlue · 14/10/2021 11:40

@HitchhikersGuide

We're really never going to get out of this mass health anxiety at this rate. For the rest of eternity, is everyone going to isolate for every virus they get. Or are we now expecting Pharma to come up with a cure for death so that we can venture out among the other disease vectors that we used to consider human beings.
Staying at home (if seriously unwell) and limiting social interactions for all viruses should be the norm. Presentee-ism is awful and the source of lots of outbreaks of all kinds. No one wants to sit in close proximity to ill people.
Tigerwhocameforsupper · 14/10/2021 11:41

@Bunsnbobbins yes I understand they would restart their isolation. But there are 7 days in between where they are not isolating and so could spread it?

Kb2942 · 14/10/2021 11:46

Technically if you tested negative then yes you can carry on as normal. But I would consider carrying on as normal as doing the essentials like working, errands and shopping not socialising but that's just me. Someone I know has had both her kids off with covid and she tested negative - she went to the salon. Technically in her right to do so but seems a bit selfish to me.

Op, you can buy be sensible please. Masks, hand washing etc. Social distancing too!

mynameisnotmichaelcaine · 14/10/2021 11:53

Currently we have 3/5 positive and one at home awaiting another PCR as he has symptoms but is consistently testing negative on an LFT. DD (17) is going to school and is walking the dog with her boyfriend, but has limited all of her other social contacts until our quarantine is up.

worriedatthemoment · 14/10/2021 13:30

@LilyPond2 what if you work in a pub or restaurant ?
I really think when its a home positive the government shouldn't of removed requirement to self isolate , as contact is daily
Ds2 awaiting a result now and he is staying in room but has to use shared toilet
My ds2 is starting a new job tomorrow and my dh due hospital appt monday of which its quite important he attends - will have to ask both for guidance if ds2 result comes back positive

RedToothBrush · 14/10/2021 13:58

I find this the laughable thing.

Kids who test positive have to stay home. But siblings still have to go to school despite studies showing the high rate of household transmission with Delta (which is higher for unvaccinated family members).

Even if you test multiple times a day to 'check' its easy to be negative in the morning but positive in the afternoon - meaning there is a window where you are positive and exposing everyone else. And most parents are not going to test multiple times even if they have a positive child.

This leaves schools in a ridicilous position with multiple children who are in school, but they know have covid positive siblings.

And they have to have those children in school otherwise its deemed unauthorised absence.

With that policy in mind, at this point, its merely a matter of time before it runs through the entire unvaccinated population (many children).

I am kind of clinging to the thought and logic of this being that at the moment, you want covid to spread like wildfire through primary schools rather than in three months time, because there has been a strategic decision not to vaccinate under 12s. That means they will all get it at some point in a big wave because they are a large unvaccinated population in close proximity. Come three months time we are going to hit bigger problems with waning immunity and thats what worries me more.

At least now we are at 'peak vaccination immunity' and that provides some insulation against it spreading further outside the school and related community.

Its the fact the booster programme seems to be behind where it should be at this point, which worries me.

Even then though, I do question why anyone in a household with a positive case isn't minimising their contacts as much as possible, especially given there is already a real gap in the new rules which actively almost encourages transmission for schools and workplaces.

If its not necessary socialisation why do it, knowing you are at high risk of developing covid from a household contact? The household transmission rate for Delta should make you sweat and give you cause to pause for thought regardless of what the rules do or done say.

I think that this is liable to become a growing concern coming into late November, early December when the penny starts to drop about the Booster Programme not keeping pace with those now eligible for it especially if we start to see a rise in hospitalisation rates and death rates.

Having said that, given my point above about peak vaccine protection, I also I don't think its a huge problem now and its more of an uncomfortable feeling rather than a fear. I do think that people will be even more lax the closer we get to Christmas and the more social events that start to crop up too.

And thats the point that worries me more and normalisation / acceptance of socialising whilst you have a household positive doesn't strike me as a good thing in that context.

Certainly I think many in their 50s and 40s with kids are going to start getting increasingly nervous and its will become more of a socially controversial issue than it already is whilst their children (including young adult children) are wanting to do more...

So I'm not in the black and white camp on this one. I personally don't like the idea of getting covid (again?) but I actually recognise having some exposure now might be a blessing in disguise which prevents worse issues further down the line. However my head is still going 'uh no covid BAD must avoid'. And I also think that I'm going to feel differently than I do now, in a couple of months about the same scenario.

Yeah. I don't think I'd be comfortable if I knew and I'd think people were being unfair, but I also am aware thats the reality of where we are and there is probably little I can do unless I am prepared to stay home myself (which might well be where I am mentally in about 8 or 9 weeks).

I think that people should be giving a lot more serious thought about what they do or don't do and how the situation is pretty fluid and changeable.

worriedatthemoment · 14/10/2021 18:33

Ds2 not happy due out to pub for big birthday celebration , his ds tested on a lft positive this morning so awaiting pcr
We have said ds2 should stay home he is 18 and double jabbed so says he is allowed out and has done. Lft which is negative, said his mate was out last week when someone in household tested positive
Are we right asking him to stay home?
The goverment have just put the blame and guilt on us , and dd says if he was working he would go in and if at college so I can see his argument .
Its so shit