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Original poster

DH and teens and I - conflicting views about covid jabs for teens

54 replies

shellstarbarley · 05/09/2021 11:41

I have 2 teens aged 13 and 15 and this morning we have had a family debate about the covid jabs for teens. The concensus is that my DH doesn't agree with them having the jab , neither of them want it either but I think it is a sensible thing to do. My DH's reasoning are that the jab is actually not really protecting them it is only being offered to protect others and there must be a reason why the JCVI have reservations. My argument is that they have been jabbing children in other countries for months and so far so good!!! If they go down the same route as with adults that you don't have to isolate of you are jabbed then if they are not jabbed and my DD in yr 11 has to isolate when a close contact she could miss an awful lot of school. My parents have also said as they are vulnerable if the kids aren't jabbed they will not be happy to see them as they could spread it to them. Who has the final say???

OP posts:
Farevalah · 05/09/2021 13:50

DS13 won't be having the jab-he doesn't want it and DH and I don't want him to either. Other parents I've have spoke to have mostly said the same.

I don't think the risk/benefit for jabbing kids is clear enough hence the JCVI decision. The fact that the govt are overruling it makes me rather uneasy, being honest.

itsgettingwierd · 05/09/2021 14:05

My 16yo is CV and had it back in April.

I talked through it with him and gave him the facts.

To.d him he was red to google and we could discuss anything he found and had questions about.

He has flu jab yearly and just decided he wanted it.

I wanted him to have it and would have tried persuading him but ultimately it was always his choice.

BigWoollyJumpers · 05/09/2021 14:13

@Autumnally

Is the JCVI decision not just an economic one though? That the teens are unlikely to end up in hospital, so there isn’t as big an economic drive to mass immunise them? I think it’s that rather than individual risk of the vaccine or covid itself. Long covid is a concern, and that might push me towards the jab, but I don’t have teens.
JCVI purely look at efficacy v. risk. They make no economic or social impact assessments at all, hence the caveat that they specifically excluded looking at school disruption and wider community spread.

I suspect the government will eventually offer vaccines to all over 12 on the basis of school disruption being minimised.

namechange7865 · 05/09/2021 14:13

The teens choose end of, it's not difficult at all.

illuyankas · 05/09/2021 14:25

I don't think the risk/benefit for jabbing kids is clear enough hence the JCVI decision. The fact that the govt are overruling it makes me rather uneasy, being honest.

They aren't overruling it, if you read the statement, it's clear they left the final decision to the govt.

grasstreeleaf · 05/09/2021 14:32

They won't have to isolate if a contact anyway as they are under 18. Instead they will be 'strongly advised' to get a PCR test.

I didn't think it had been offered to this age group yet. However, the decision should be their's.

Titsywoo · 05/09/2021 14:39

It is their decision. DD had hers already and DS definitely wants his but if either of them didn't want to then I would not force or try to convince them.

Howshouldibehave · 05/09/2021 14:45

I guess you can’t force them to have it, but I would be having clear chats with them about it.

My kids have had very disrupted years at school and have already decided they want to be vaccinated to reduce the chances of that continuing.

bonbonours · 05/09/2021 14:46

It's got to be up to the teen I guess but mine would be keen to get it. Apart from anything else they want to be able to go to France for a French exchange. Currently under 18s who aren't vaccinated have to do quarantine if not travelling with a vaccinated family member. Why, I have no idea as I don't see that can possibly make them safer! But this will screw school exchanges as well as private exchanges.

ACreakingGateNeverStops · 05/09/2021 14:47

This could be controversial but personally I'd discount the grandparents opinion as it sounds like they're trying to force the situation to please them.

It should be about the children's health.

Would the grandparents refuse to see your children if they were younger (say 6 and 8 years) and not even offered the vaccine?

SirVixofVixHall · 05/09/2021 14:49

Under 18s don’t have to isolate if they are a close contact any longer.
But anyway , it is tricky. My 16 year old has been vaccinated, my younger one currently has Covid , so that removes the issue for a while for us.

RobinPenguins · 05/09/2021 14:49

My parents have also said as they are vulnerable if the kids aren't jabbed they will not be happy to see them as they could spread it to them. Who has the final say???

I find this part really sad. If my parents took this logic they wouldn’t see their grandchildren for at least another decade as they’re all currently toddlers.

For teenagers I’m inclined to think the final say goes to them. Hopefully without too much emotional blackmail from their grandparents.

purplesequins · 05/09/2021 14:52

my teens (13&14) were very eager to get the vaccine.
I'm not in uk and both had both jabs without any side effects.
it was their decision which dh and I facilitated. as they are coming up to gcse equivalent years we hope for less school disruption.

FflosFfantastig · 05/09/2021 14:54

Just let them decide. They might look at the same information as you and reach a different decision but that's ok. It's their body and they have different risks v benefits than you do.

YeOldeTrout · 05/09/2021 15:26

DH is strongly pro jab for teens.
I am mildly anti (for kids). More importantly, I'm pro-choice about it.

I still told 13yr old that in his whole life he'd probably never meet any teenager who had the myocarditis/heart inflammation reaction. The chances of harm from vaccine were miniscule.

The teenagers all wanted it, so that was easily decided.
I would get on DH's case if he gave them grief for declining.

ButteringMyArse · 05/09/2021 15:44

Who has the final say???

Certainly not you. They are not going to be given a jab they don't consent to because you'd prefer it.

WhatHaveIFound · 05/09/2021 15:52

They're old enough to make up their own minds and shouldn't be swayed by you or your DH though it might affect family holidays abroad in the future if they're not vaccinated.

WinTheNight · 05/09/2021 15:59

I have teens and they will decide for themselves. I’m not vaccinated, their dad is. The likelihood is that they’ll be fine whether they have the vaccine or not so I’m not concerned about what they choose.

WinTheNight · 05/09/2021 16:01

And if any family choose not to see my kids (or me) due to not being vaccinated then that’s their choice and we’ll all have to cope with that.

frozendaisy · 05/09/2021 16:18

Your teenagers have the final say.

There might be restrictions for social events, gigs, festivals, travel etc but if they are willing to accept that choosing not to have the jab might restrict their leisure choices for a year or two then I'm not sure what else you say/do.

I would put in a "don't come crying to me if you can't go somewhere" proviso.

Oblomov21 · 05/09/2021 16:25

Watching. Not sure what to do about my teens, Ds1 isn't keen.

Franceadvice · 05/09/2021 16:40

Has the UK government actually decided to offer vaccination to all 12-15 year-olds, or are people currently debating this in the expectation that the government will make such a decision?

EmeraldGreenVelvet · 05/09/2021 16:44

The JVCI have considered the medical benefits / risks of vaccinating children. In my daughter's case I am most concerned about the educational benefits of her and her classmates being vaccinated. Her entire GCSEs have been screwed up - now she's in 6th form I just want her to be able to go to school, have a healthy teacher to teach her and not be disrupted by her own absence or the absence of others.

Wellbythebloodyhell · 05/09/2021 17:01

Ultimately your dc get the final decision, even if you sign a consent form they can still decline to have it administered. Give them as much information as possible to make an informed decision, but even if in they end they say no purely because they don't like needles it's something you need to accept as their final answer

Geamhradh · 05/09/2021 17:08

They are old enough to have their own opinion.
I'd be slightly wary of what they are reading and who they are talking to to have reached that conclusion though.