DH and teens and I - conflicting views about covid jabs for teens

[shellstarbarley]

I have 2 teens aged 13 and 15 and this morning we have had a family debate about the covid jabs for teens. The concensus is that my DH doesn't agree with them having the jab , neither of them want it either but I think it is a sensible thing to do. My DH's reasoning are that the jab is actually not really protecting them it is only being offered to protect others and there must be a reason why the JCVI have reservations. My argument is that they have been jabbing children in other countries for months and so far so good!!! If they go down the same route as with adults that you don't have to isolate of you are jabbed then if they are not jabbed and my DD in yr 11 has to isolate when a close contact she could miss an awful lot of school. My parents have also said as they are vulnerable if the kids aren't jabbed they will not be happy to see them as they could spread it to them. Who has the final say???

The kids do. It’s their body and they are old enough to decide for themselves.

My teens have/will make their own decisions. I actually think it's useful that you and DH have differing opinions as it will allow them to see both sides of the arguments.

I think it's highly unlikely that your Y11 will have to isolate - there are no indications that vaccinations for this age group will be made mandatory so the "no isolation for under 18s" will stay. And if it doesn't, you DC can choose to make (or not make) a different decision then.

Your parents can meet the DC out of doors if they are worried about mixing with them (are they refusing to mix with the now? Would they refuse to mix with them if they were younger -as they currently are- than vaccine age?)

My view is for the 15 year old it is her decision. I’m slightly less clear on the 13 year old, but as neither they nor one of their parents wants them to have it then that’s the decision- you can’t overrule them. If grandparents don’t want to see their own grandchildren then that’s their choice and their loss.

I can't imagine that they would jab teenagers that have been dragged there unwillingly? My 14 year old has had his first jab in Ireland and dh had to give parental consent but the pharmacist also checked that he was OK with it.

I'm pro vaccinating the 12+ age group but I do think they have to be on board with it too.

How will you force them to have it?

DH and I both were happy for Joe.to have the vaccine though probably I was slightly less convinced than DH but DS had not wanted it we would have respected that ( he is 16) . As it turned out he was keen to get it so he did

Definitely up to the DC and not your DH

I think the 15yo definitely has the last say.

If the 13yo can argue their case rather than just saying 'i don't like injections' they get the last say.

I think the only other factor to consider as part of the discussion is the issues around king covid. I know younger teens can get this, but not sure how frequently and how this is impacted by being jabbed. I know in older people being jabbed significantly reduces the risk.

• long covid not king! That sounds terrible!!

Thank you. Is a difficult one - I think some of it could be swayed by friends as seems none of their friends want it done. However in my nieces group of friends they are all desperate to have it done and so is she!! I have asked my dd to do her own research and make decision from that not by what her friends are doing or even by mine and DH's conflicting views!

I think your teens should be allowed to make the final decision, tbh. I wouldn’t want to make my children have a vaccine they were unhappy to take after the JCVI decision. I think not vaccinating this age group will result in more disruption to children’s education this year than would be the case if they had just got on with vaccinating 12-15 year olds (not just more time off school for kids, but more teachers getting ill or isolating and not being in school either), but don’t think it’s all so clear cut that you should go against their wishes and understanding of the situation. As I have family living in countries where vaccination of children is expected, I also would like my children vaccinated for that reason - freedom to travel more easily and school trips to be reinstated sooner rather than later! There is more than one way a child’s mental and physical health can be affected by the vaccination/no vaccination debate, after all. It all depends how much longer this whole pandemic continues and how things develop around the world, of course, as to who concludes they made the wisest decisions in the end!

Their body, their choice. You can talk pros and cons, why you'd like them to have it, do some research together, talk to them about the relative risks of vaccination versus covid, talk to them about long covid and missing out on seeing grandparents, basically support them to make an informed choice, but that it's. If they decide not to, they're old enough to make that choice.

I'm totally unsure, they know there are risks of heart issues with the vaccine. They are also now thinking that immunity reduces after 6mths.
Is it worth the risk of the vaccine for 6mths protection? The vaccine doesn't completely reduce the odds of someone passing covid on.

Actually I think I'd say no just now.

It will impact holidays, so the dc need to understand that not having vaccinations= not holidaying abroad in the foreseeable future, and potentially not accessing activities that vaccinated peers will be able to access. I would present all the pros and cons -or better yet get them to do so-and let them decide without too much more input from you or Dh as I know mine would, tbh, go along with my opinion as I tend to be the ‘favoured authority parent’.

The kids get the final say. But I wouldn't want to hear DH whingeing if they are in and out of school isolating! My teens want to be in school and are being jabbed to make that more likely.

It’s a tough one.

I can’t help but feel sorry for any teachers that have to risk their life teaching kids who arent jagged and don’t care that they could be spreading it to those who are trying to help them.

Even those who are double jagged can have covid really badly and be in their beds. My friend is.

And I can see kids point of view too, it may have long term effects on health. Many Adults have the same view.

However if the kids choice of no vaccine is based on not wanting to go to school, and therefore hoping to have to isolate as much as poss to stay at home and play fortnite, then that’s not a good reason to dismiss a vaccine! That may not apply to you, prob doesn’t, just saying!

Further family discussion required.

At the moment countries require double vaccination for travel and the kids are only going to get one jab (heart problems from the vaccine mainly caused by the second jab in teenage boys) if any at all so it won’t help then travel at the moment. With the one jab they can still get and spread the virus. The purpose of vaccination is to reduce symptoms when according to Tim Spector 40-70% of kids with the delta variant are symptomless. I’m struggling to see why we should jab and I am pro vaccine.

The JCVI refused to put the serious, neurological disease ME in its list of neurological disease examples that should put people in group 6 for vaccination. Many doctors interpreted this as meaning ME was not a group 6 illness. The JCVI refused to clarify the guideline. Many of the people, including children, with long covid basically have a very similar/the same illness as ME. So, what all that means is that JCVI are not really thinking very hard about long covid or what it could mean for children. Make sure your kids are well informed about ALL the risks that come with Covid. Long covid could ruin their lives.

Not a tough one at all. It is not your decision, they should decide. Perhaps try not to guilt them into doing it with 'granny won't be able to see you otherwise'

Last I heard from the JCVI on the subject of vaccinations for 16-17 year olds, they were not saying only 1 jab would ever be offered - 2nd jabs and the gap between the jabs was yet another decision they are just being painfully slow about deciding on, and generally unhelpful. It’s quite obvious they are incapable of making practical decisions related to enabling people to live full lives and travel, so are palming those decisions off onto other bodies, because they recognise that someone has to make these decisions.

The jab is protecting the kids though. If they have the jab and then catch Covid the hope is that they will have a milder case of it. Plus it helps prevent the spread, and adds towards herd immunity.
If they don’t want it fair enough, but they need to know why they are being offered it.
My 16 yr old didn’t really want it because Covid hasn’t affected us directly, but then two of her friends caught it and she changed her mind. Having had her GCSE’s disrupted, she doesn’t want that for A levels.

I think teens have final say. So if they are refusing, I wouldn't force them.
Though I would provide them with information that they need to know, so they can make up their mind with adequate knowledge if they should or should not get vaccinated.

My DS 12 is getting his second jab today. As far as I know, most of his classmates are getting it too.

The uptake seems to be pretty high in Ireland so I think when a friend has the jab, it has a positive knock on effect within their circle.

I'm very much in favour of vaccines and was very glad that my 16yo chose to get get first shot, hope that she'll soon be offered a second shot etc. But in this situation, I would say that your dc should make the decision.

Your job is to arm them with all of the relevant info so that they can make an informed decision, but it's their bodies so it needs to be their choice.

Is the JCVI decision not just an economic one though? That the teens are unlikely to end up in hospital, so there isn’t as big an economic drive to mass immunise them? I think it’s that rather than individual risk of the vaccine or covid itself. Long covid is a concern, and that might push me towards the jab, but I don’t have teens.