DD fed up of covid isolation

[toastedmarshmallow]

2 of my DC have tested positive, we are just waiting on PCR results for rest of family (our lateral flow tests have been negative)

We have a 3 storey house and both positive DC are isolating on the top floor at the moment whilst we wait to find out if any of the rest if the family us have it.

Older DC coping fine so far but DD11 fed up and really sad. She keeps texting asking for hugs and woke up in the night very upset. I really don't want to catch it , I work in a school and I would hate to bring it there but she is so upset and lonely. I have given her short hugs and spending lots of time chatting at a distance. Any good ideas about how I can help her?

My friend was told the child should stay away from everyone, not prepare food, or touch anyone else's food.
She kept reminding the 'advisor' the child was 6 years old.

Of course you don't want it, but you don't want a D&V bug when your child catches that either. Do you leave them to cope alone when they catch that?

I honestly can't believe what I'm reading. I'm furious actually.

Both DD (14) and DS (12) tested positive whilst we were on holiday so I had to spend 5 hours in a car with them to get home. Once home, they isolated for their 10 days but we certainly didn’t make them stay in their rooms. I still hugged them (just suggested no kisses!). Kept house well ventilated during the day which is easier to do this time of year. Neither myself or my DH got it (both double vaccinated).

I work in a school too so understand the weight of responsibility you feel not to take it in there, but your own kids come first. Go and hug your daughter and stop isolating her from the family. She’s young, you know it’s upsetting her, and she will remember this time for the rest of her life most likely. None of the families you work with at school will even be aware of the sacrifice you and your dd are making for them, and rest assured they won’t all be putting your safety ahead of their families needs.

If you end up having to stay away from school because you catch it then the school will just have to deal with it, without expecting sick children to be isolated from their mothers.

Any good ideas about how I can help her?

Yes. Stop this utter bollocks of isolating her in her room away from the rest of the family. It is actually cruel, like mental torture, although I don't suppose that that is how you are intending it to be.

We honestly need to learn to live with this thing and stop destroying people's mental health and livelihoods. We particularly need to stop all of this isolation and disruption of children's lives.

Very soon we will have to start treating Covid as we do seasonal colds and flu, because it isn't going anywhere. How often will you keep isolating your children in their rooms? Indefinitely?

@Callcat

Of course you don't want it, but you don't get to abdicate your caring responsibilities towards your own sick young child in order to avoid it ffs! My youngest caught it, he sleeps in my bed and we watched films with him sitting on my lap. I did catch it, obviously shit but there wasn't an alternative, nor would I have locked him away. My eldest two got it recently. Same. DD was sad and a bit unwell. So we cuddled up and watched films and ate nice snacks. Wouldn't have even occurred to me to stick her on another floor of the house (even if I had a spare one 😂). I couldn't imagine saying no to a hug when they most need it!

Lucky you. Imagine if a parent was highly vulnerable to dying if they caught it.

I had covid at Xmas, I didn’t isolate myself in my room. We all had it by Boxing Day - not sure who brought it home as we were all had been and about. We decided that as we all had to isolate then we might as well make the most of a shitty Xmas altogether. So we ate, played games and the adults drank copious amounts of gin and wine and ate lots of chocolate. Imagine spending Xmas holed up in your room. Nah, not for us.

Have a 11 year old here and there is no way I would shut them away on their own! We would be snuggled together watching a film!

Don’t care what advice is given children need comfort.

Utterly cruel. I would never treat my child like this.

WTF has happened to people?

I am a teacher and completely understand the responsibility you feel not to infect the children you teach, as the lack of any sensible mitigations in school will mean you will be in close contact with many children there.

However - and I know this is hard and we don’t do it often - put your own child above your pupils. Yes, some parents will complain if you are absent, or if their child gets Covid. That should not - for once - over-ride your own child’s needs.

I wouldn’t isolate from a child especially if they were upset. It’s too much.

I'm shocked you're keeping your 11 year old locked up.

I really think in the future people will be shocked at some of the things that went on during he pandemic.

Ffs look after your miserable child!

What has happened to the world that a parent gets a text from a miserable child and feels they can ignore it?

Imagine if a parent was highly vulnerable to dying if they caught it.

How is that comment relevant given OP isn't highly vulnerable to dying?

I am in a pretty vulnerable category. My mother, who I have to visit regularly, is extremely vulnerable.

I would still never have isolated a child in their room away from the family for days on end. They would be with us.

I think what other posters are forgetting is that most teachers, most of the tine, are pretty selfless in terms of worrying about their classes. They worry about them to the detriment of time and attention spent on family. They worry about them to the detriment of sleep. If they prioritise their own needs over those of the children they teach, they are accused of not liking children, or not being fit to be in the classroom - we see this on MN all the time. Teachers are conscientious- we pick up on these messages and internalise them. The OP trying to do what us best for her pupils is not uncaring - she is normal, but needs reminding that it is ok to prioritise her own children sometimes.

This is utterly crazy. Why on earth do you think it is acceptable to isolate your 11y old child away from her family? Covid is not a danger to most people, and you're bound to catch it at some point anyway. This should be no different to any other illness your child may get. You look after them with love and kindness, simple.

Is this what it’s come to, people too scared to hug their own unwell children? I think the whole fucking issue needs reviewing and new guidance ASAP if people are really sat at home too terrified to comfort their own children. I think it’s massive national scandal that government policy can be interpreted as ‘I must not comfort my sick child’. OP, go upstairs and comfort your child!

Interesting PHE research came out this month that looked at how likely covid was to be transmitted within a household. This suggested that self isolation of the person with covid made very little difference to whether other people in the household became infected. So I’d give your DD hugs and not worry too much.

Mentioned in Tweet here…. twitter.com/cathnoakes/status/1430274776099135492?s=21

Why on earth do you think it is acceptable to isolate your 11y old child away from her family?

Because a) she has been told those are the rules, and teachers are characteristically rule followers and b) she is thinking about the welfare of her pupils, children like yours. If she is anything like the teachers of my acquaintance, she has CV and CEV children in her class, and children with CV and CEV relatives, and she is worried about them. That’s been our reality since last March, and we have consistently put the needs of ourselves and our own children second to those of the children we teach throughout the pandemic. Piling on her for being cruel and uncaring at this point is unnecessarily unkind.

I can also understand you being afraid about passing it on but it’s pretty likely there are going to be multiple potential sources of covid in your school - so if you did bring it in, you’re likely going to be one of several/many.

I wouldn't be isolating them in the top floor.

As a practical suggestion I would suggest that you take LFTs every couple of days and a PCR before returning to school.

@titchy

Imagine if a parent was highly vulnerable to dying if they caught it.

How is that comment relevant given OP isn't highly vulnerable to dying?

In this scenario with every highly vulnerable parent. It would be easier for the parent to isolate instead.
A highly vulnerable adult would be rare unless a grandparent. And again I'd assume they wouldn't be working due to their health conditions- so it wouldn't impact upon their work by isolating.

How awful! Poor kid. There really are no words.

I can’t ever imagine doing this to my child. Just when I think Mumsnet can’t shock me (or how people behave in this pandemic).

Quite an upsetting post to be honest.