What would you say to an 88 year old whose recently had a cancer op and is keen to hug everyone inside at a family celebration??

[loveyouradvice]

Just that really ... her house so we can easily ask people if the weather is okay to stay outside, or just be in the sitting room, leaving her other rooms risk free....

What would you do or advise?

I'm so aware her double jab is likely to be beginning to wear off and there are enough of us that the risk is reasonable that someone might have it.....

At 88 I'd want to hug family and would take my chances.

Come here Gran and have a great big hug

I’d tell her to go ahead & hug whoever she likes.

I wouldn’t say anything

At 88 she has earned the right to hug her family and friends if they are willing.

Why do you think you need to say anything? Is this person not capable of making their own decisions? I can't imagine anything worse than reaching the grand old age of 88 and having younger family members trying to make decisions for me.

This sounds brutal, but at 88 I think I would be thinking if I am going to die due to Covid, cancer or something else I want to go out hugging my family not missing my last precious moments being scared to show them how much I love them.
At 88 she is old enough to make her own decisions and I would have to respect that even if it concerned me.

I'd say go for it, she's old enough to make her own decisions. And having just gone through the cancer op she is probably more than aware of how fragile life is and how little time she may have left to enjoy such things as hugs

I’d tell her to crack on and have a lovely time.

My dad is 87. He didn’t hide away last year, let alone this year. Continued to see us, he and his friends continued their poker nights (some have since died, not of covid, so they are all glad they had fun with them while they could).

He had cancer at the end of 2019.

Many people told him how stupid he was, that covid would kill him. His response was, “well
how much longer would you like me to live? I could die huddled away on my own, or I could enjoy what life I have left”.

If I was your relative, I’d be living life to my fullest.

She is 88, let her live her life as she wishes.

I’d be putting the emphasis on the others attending to be responsible - LFT etc. beforehand. My gran is 88 and hugging her last month was one of the most emotions things I’d done for a very long time and I’m welling up just thinking about it.

Nothing at all. Let her hug and hug. She's 88 - quality of life is WAY more important than longevity at that age. My dad spent the majority of his final 18 months in isolation due to lockdown. He didn't really understand. He thought he'd grown old and sick so we couldn't be bothered to visit him anymore. However often we tried to explain, he clearly thought it was an excuse. Let old people mix freely with healthy, vaccinated young people if that's how they want to spend their time. I despair of the idea that life, however suffocating and sanitised and isolated, must be eked out for as long as possible with no understanding of what makes it worth living.

Yeah I would give her a hug if she wanted a hug.

Crikey! Let her do as she chooses the poor woman!

I would say "how lovely to see you" and then give her a hug.

I think you should say 'Granny you need to remain at least 2 metres away from everyone and spend what remains of your life with no physical contact being patronised by me because I know best.'

Or maybe not.

I’d say “Gosh, I’ve missed hugging you.”

(Feel a bit emotional even thinking about having another hug with my dearly departed gran. At 88 you’re never guaranteed the next time and the times you do have are so precious and fondly remembered.)

She has full capacity and several decades of wisdom more than you. Butt out, it's her choice.

id be hugging

@titchy

I think you should say 'Granny you need to remain at least 2 metres away from everyone and spend what remains of your life with no physical contact being patronised by me because I know best.'

Or maybe not.

This.

I cant believe people think that living longer but being miserable is better than taking a risk but actually enjoying your life.

88 with cancer ?

Think I'd let her do whatever she wishes. I think.by 88 she's earned the right to decide if she wants 5 lonely , socially distanced years or 3 " show my family how much I.love them and hug them til they can't stand it any longer " years.

just be in the sitting room, leaving her other rooms risk free

People presumably aren’t going to be in her bedroom or whatever, and there’s no additional risk to them using the kitchen over the living room (it’s airborne, not surfaces) so whilst I expect a lot of people will stay outdoors it sounds a bit OTT to restrict other access at this point.

I cant believe people think that living longer but being miserable is better than taking a risk but actually enjoying your life.

I’ll never understand it. It drove my dad up the wall last year.

I'm actually feeling a bit weepy reading this!

I'd hug her and tell her I loved her.
She can hug who the heck she likes!!!!
She's 88. Damn.
It's about her not you. Give her a bloody hug!

I think if she has capacity to understand the risks, then that’s fine. Those who are going could choose to reduce the risk they pose through lft testing and potentially avoiding any specifically risky activities in the immediate run up, to allow everyone to hug with the least likelihood of harm?