How do I look after an isolating teen?

[Mommybunny]

DS16 has tested positive, the rest of the family (DH, DD14 and I) are all negative (so far). DH and I are both fully vaxxed. No major health issues with any of us. DS is feeling “a bit shit” in his words but so far nothing to really worry about.

DS has his own room and bathroom (though not en suite) and our house is big enough to really maintain isolation but I’m not sure how best to look after him to make sure he’s ok without exposing the rest of the family. All my instincts as a mother to touch his forehead or take his temperature and keep constant track of his symptoms, or even just to give him a reassuring cuddle, are being challenged! He took an LFT yesterday morning which was positive which is when he started isolating (the PCR confirmed it this morning). He’s been having meals separate from us (his appetite so far is holding up well!) and I’ve been leaving drinks outside his door and he’s been told to wear a mask when he leaves the room for his toilet. But can I go into him at all if we’re both masked?

DD and DH and I will continue to take LFTs. If she comes down with it, should we continue the isolation, with DH and I fully vaccinated?

Any tips from anyone about how to get through this next 10 days would be much appreciated.

It's hard enough as it is being stuck in a house, let alone confined to a single room and only allowed out to use a bathroom, with a face mask on. How can someone do that to their child? Unless someone is CEV I just cannot understand why someone is imprisoned in their room for ten days, and that is seen as doing "the right thing".

@saywhatwhatnow - my sense of smell returned mostly after about 5 days, taste also mostly, and about 3 weeks on I think they’re back to normal.

DD’s sense of smell started gradually returning about a week ago (so that’s probably about 3 weeks too), although she reckons it’s on 75%. Her sense of taste is on about 75% too, gradually been returning.

OP, I don’t think you’re cruel, I think it really depends on the kid. DD was miserable when we made her sit on the other sofa when we were all watching the football whilst isolating, and I think she would have found it almost impossible if we’d made her stay in her too for 10 days. But I can totally see that a different child would feel differently.

Worth saying that DH and I continued to share a room/bed even after I got it, and he still tested negative on two PCRs during that time, plus continual lateral flows during and now after isolation. So we think he may have had it asymptomatically before regular lateral flows were a thing (he’s been doing them regularly since whenever they were introduced in schools). And so it’s possible the whole family won’t get it even with no isolating.

TBH, it feels a bit of a relief that I’ve now had it and presumably won’t get it again for at least another few months (or more?), even though I’ve spent so long complying with all the rules!

*Her room, not her too!

Im in a house with a covid positive teen. She's confined to her room and has use of one of the bathrooms for herself. We're delivering food and drink to her bedroom door for 10 days.

Just look after them as normal. They’re your child. I cannot believe you’d literally isolate them.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-to-avoid-spreading-coronavirus-to-people-you-live-with/

I cannot believe there so many people who simply “cannot believe” I would follow NHS guidance. The whole advice is qualified by “if you can”. If I or we “could not” then we simply wouldn’t be doing it, and feeling no guilt and suffering no legal consequence.

@starbrightstarlight8888

Im in a house with a covid positive teen. She's confined to her room and has use of one of the bathrooms for herself. We're delivering food and drink to her bedroom door for 10 days.

I presume you're clinically vulnerable, elderly and unvaccinated otherwise I cannot see why you'd do this.

What I don't get is that you're happy to go in and feel his forehead, give him a cuddle, taken his temperature etc. For every other illness. Why not this one? If you're all vaccinated, then him having COVID is no different to other illnesses he could pass on to you.

My dp is unvaccinated but I'd do it anyway even if he wasn't. For us it's the prospect of more isolation. I have a younger ds that had a school bubble burst 4 days before the end of school and now have this isolation. I'd actually like to be able to get out and do something in the school holidays rather than do more isolating if I then catch it.

@starbrightstarlight8888

Im in a house with a covid positive teen. She's confined to her room and has use of one of the bathrooms for herself. We're delivering food and drink to her bedroom door for 10 days.

All that’s left to do is write “Lord have mercy upon us” on her bedroom door and add a Red Cross, then I think you’ve covered everything

Yes I can understand why you would want to avoid repetitive isolations

Just finished a similar isolation. For those saying it’s cruel to isolate the teen, we insisted on it because we’ve got too much on in the next couple of weeks (including a holiday) to risk catching it (we are double vaxed but obviously could still get infected) and therefore do another 10 days isolation. The young person in our house realised what was at stake so stuck it out even though they were essentially symptom free after 3 days.

Surely depends on the teen. If we moved PS4 into DS’s room and provided food and drink on tap, he would be happy stay in his room for probably the whole holidays never mind 10 days! He would even forego showers if necessary 😷

Obviously if he didn’t feel well and needed company/comfort then it would be different.

I have isolated in a room before with D&V to try and avoid spread (and it worked)

If you're going to get it then you will - by the time he tested positive you'll have already been exposed.

When I got covid in October the only time I wasn't with dh and teen Dd was when I was in hospital. Rest of time dh shared the same bed and room as me, Dd didn't isolate away from me, I ate meals with them, watched tv in same room - once I was feeling up to it. Before then Dd and dh brought be drinks and food to my room - actually handing it to me.

This was before vaccines. Dh and Dd weren't CV (I am) and tbh they just wanted to help me feel better.

Neither of them caught it. Neither had symptoms nor a positive test. Dd has since tested negative for virus acquired antibodies too.

If it was my child I'd go with my instincts, unless one of us was extremely vulnerable. If they needed a hug or some company I would do it.

So, it's up to you how you isolate within the house.

I don't think it's cruel particularly, especially with an older teen, but it can be quite lonely and it could make him feel more fed up and miserable. I know when I was in my room alone for so long at a time I was much more likely to wallow in my illness,

It was my dh and my Dd who wanted me to be in the same room and were happy for me to be there. They knew the days would go much faster if we were able to be together in an evening.

At the time we only had one bathroom anyway as the en-suite was mid way through being redone - it was really bad timing in that front!

@Abraxan that wouldn’t have been the Delta variant though would it?

He's 16 not 6! It's hardly cruel for a 16 to isolate from the rest of their family for 10 days! Sounds like you're doing a good job so far. I'm double vaccinated but wouldn't want to spread it to the unvaccinated children in my house:

[quote ineedaholidaynow]@Abraxan that wouldn’t have been the Delta variant though would it?[/quote]
It wasn't no. Well I assume not. But mine isn't the only story I know of where it hasn't spread.

A number of DD's friends have had covid in the last month
In only one case have the other household caught covid from them.

Dd has been in contact a compile of times recently, though outside of the isolation period. Still not tested positive - she's had 4 LFTs and 2 PCRs as a result plus because she has a cough. All negative.

Obviously I have no idea which variant they had in the cases of those that haven't transmitted and the family where it did.

You’re not cruel. Your teens are old enough to isolate if you want them too and to understand why. I’d be tempted too.

I won’t get that choice if we do get it as my youngest aged 10 has medical needs that she can’t manage herself. However I would be keen to try and keep my non Covid kids away from anyone who did get Covid. Just don’t think it’s be doable for us.

You have to isolate anyway so may aswell let him out of his room

My 15 year old caught it last November. We are 48, were unvaccinated then and his twin is asthmatic, so I wanted to protect him.

Less was known then, the fear factor higher and few people we knew then had had it.

My teen mainly stayed in his room, used own bathroom, had meals left outside door and went into the garden when he fancied it.

He was poorly with it, but he was old enough to take own temp, medication etc.

He normally stays in his room and plays games, so no massive change.

It's a tad dramatic posters asking how you can isolate a child, when at 16 this is hardly a young child. He's absolutely fine now and has forgiven us for forcing him to play Xbox every day!

@crabbingbucket

What I don't get is that you're happy to go in and feel his forehead, give him a cuddle, taken his temperature etc. For every other illness. Why not this one? If you're all vaccinated, then him having COVID is no different to other illnesses he could pass on to you.

You’re right, if it were D&V or flu or chickenpox I wouldn’t hesitate to smother him with care and attention. And also if everyone else in the house were vaccinated or otherwise immune to Covid I would be all over him.

D&V and flu won’t kill me if I get it and I’ve already had chickenpox. But Covid is different. Covid has killed 160,000+ over the last year and a bit. Long Covid is relatively rare but not so rare as to not be terrifying. As far as I am aware my DD does not have immunity (for that matter I may not myself if breakthrough infections are as widespread as they seem to be). I am not going to take the chance of exposing her to this disease if I can help it. I don’t care how low her risk is. While I never got hysterical about avoiding it I never knowingly exposed her to chickenpox either - I find the idea of chickenpox parties abhorrent.

It’s really all a balancing act isn’t it? You may not make exactly the same decisions I would and my decisions may seem to be incoherent but you may be balancing different risks and benefits to those I am. As I said upthread, if I had a small or autistic or otherwise completely dependent child the balance would have to come down on accepting the risk the healthy might get Covid if that’s what it took to look after that sick dependent child.

To be fair, all the questions you asked in your OP were about how others would deal with it and getting through it. People have just told you what they’d do and many wouldn’t isolate from their child. You can hardly compare living normally in a house with a sibling with covid, to taking your child to a chicken pox party.
People seemed to be generally in favour of no more lockdowns, schools back to normal, opening everything up...that’s what’s happened, so we’re all going to get it unless we permanently isolate ourselves from society. That’s why it makes no sense to make your son isolate in my opinion, you’re daughter may not get it this time, but in all likeliness you’re just delaying the inevitable unfortunately.

I hope your son is ok and recovers quickly.

I think you've got it spot on. I would absolutely agree with trying to protect your DD.
I would do exactly the same. In fact when DS had flu while I was on chemotherapy that's pretty much what we did.
As it's summer I would get him outside if you can. I would also consider lifting the isolation before 10 days if he seems fully recovered.