How do I look after an isolating teen?

[Mommybunny]

DS16 has tested positive, the rest of the family (DH, DD14 and I) are all negative (so far). DH and I are both fully vaxxed. No major health issues with any of us. DS is feeling “a bit shit” in his words but so far nothing to really worry about.

DS has his own room and bathroom (though not en suite) and our house is big enough to really maintain isolation but I’m not sure how best to look after him to make sure he’s ok without exposing the rest of the family. All my instincts as a mother to touch his forehead or take his temperature and keep constant track of his symptoms, or even just to give him a reassuring cuddle, are being challenged! He took an LFT yesterday morning which was positive which is when he started isolating (the PCR confirmed it this morning). He’s been having meals separate from us (his appetite so far is holding up well!) and I’ve been leaving drinks outside his door and he’s been told to wear a mask when he leaves the room for his toilet. But can I go into him at all if we’re both masked?

DD and DH and I will continue to take LFTs. If she comes down with it, should we continue the isolation, with DH and I fully vaccinated?

Any tips from anyone about how to get through this next 10 days would be much appreciated.

Yes, I would just carry on as normal. I’d never isolate someone in the family. You’re vaxxed so unlikely to be ill if you get it. Other child may get it but may not. I can’t fathom keeping a sick child of whatever age isolated in their own home

I think it’s up to your personal judgement of how much you don’t want you/DH/DD to get it vs how difficult (mentally and logistically) it might be for DS to properly isolate from you all.

In our case, when teenage DD (13) got it recently, as we have a small house, only 1 loo and bathroom, and I think she would have been utterly miserable being told to stay in her room for 10 days, we didn’t really isolate her at all and just decided to get on with it. In the end, I got it a couple of days after DD (I’m double vaxxed), and DH and younger DD didn’t (DH had had 1 dose at that point).

Carry on as normal - no need to isolate him it's highly likely you will all get it anyway (fully vaccinated or not)!

We had two teens with it. Either ate their meals in their rooms or we all ate outside with them sitting apart from us but so much nicer. Didn't take temperature etc just offered paracetamol, they can probably guage whether they need it or not. Masks in the house to move around and plenty time outside ( as well as on screens!) It worked ad the rest of us didn't get it and they survived. Saved the hugs for afterwards. It feels long but everyone coped.

(Symptom-wise, it was like a heavy cold for both me and DD - sore throat, very persistent cough, achy, headachy, tired. Both lost our sense of smell. DD lost her appetite for about 4 days. Not much fun, but not too awful either).

As above really - my dc are younger anyway but I just can’t imagine isolating a member of my household like that. If you live together then you have already been exposed.

He’s your child. You’re double vaccinated anyway. I honestly can’t believe you’re even asking if you can go into his room. Frankly I think it’s cruel to treat children in this way.

I think “cruel” is uncalled for. I’m trying to do the right thing here.

Dd14 had it recently. Spent a lot of time in her room (her choice) watched tv, read, and on her devices (all the usual limits on device time went out the window). She came down and watched telly with us in the evenings and had all her meals with us (albeit, the room we eat in is pretty big so we were all well spaced out). DH and I both double vaxed didn't catch it. We had the windows in the house open most of the time as well, as weather was fine.

Just to be clear (although I thought it was already obvious from my OP) I’m not worried for myself or DH. I’m trying to keep my DD from catching it, and if I catch it I can give it to her. I accept it is probably too late, but until I know that for sure how can it be cruel to keep DS away from the rest of us?

dd2 has it now. She pretty ill. I've cleaned up covid sick and cuddled her. I understand wanting to protect your dd from it. The dr I spoke to this morning said some children are very mild and some getting more like adults do and my dd has it like an adult.

So far neither me or dh have caught it.

We are currently going through this my son tested positive last Wednesday , he spends a, lot of time in his room anyway, apart from a couple of days where he felt rough hes pretty much back to normal, me and dh also fully vaccinated, currently testing negative on LFT, s

You have a child who is feeling ‘a bit shit’ and after everything that’s happened over the last 18m is probably a bit nervous and worried that he’s finally got IT.

You and your dh are fully vaxxed. You have a healthy 14yr old. You can’t avoid it forever anyway and all of you will already have been exposed before he started showing symptoms. So yes I do think it’s cruel to try and stay away from him for the next 10 days. By all means take precautions if it makes you more comfortable - windows open, time outside etc but honestly, when it comes to members of your household, unless someone is at risk of severe illness then I do think that more than that is really over the top.

We had this recently. Ds17 stayed in his room for the most part, if he came downstairs he wore a mask and we kept distance. I did hang out in his doorway on a stool to chat. On day 4 or 5 ds9 caught it and we had to keep all his routines normal as he's autistic and he breathed all over us so it seemed pointless though I still wore a mask to get closer to ds17. Then he got more and more ill and went to hospital on day 10. So between small ds getting it and that point I got closer to him as there was much more to keep an eye on.

I think at that age what you're doing is just fine and sensible! In the end neither dh or I, both double vaccinated, caught it.

A friend of ours did similar - left their 14-year-old in her room to isolate. She was sobbing by day 3 and they still didn’t let her out.

If you are both double-jabbed and no health vulnerabilities then I wouldn’t be attempting to keep your DS in his room at all.

I had this dilemma when my teen got it. We decided not to isolate from the rest of us. Like you there is also a younger teen in the house withmy dh and I both fully vaccinated. We felt it unfair to isolate someone at a sensitive age.
Second child tested positive a couple of days after the first, then dh a couple of days after that. I didn't test positive.
I came out of isolation 10 days after the first child tested positive but kept away from people. Dh came out of isolation after his symptoms stopped, which were 12 days after testing positive. It was all a bit drawn out, but we couldn't see the point of isolating one in their bedroom, as we had all been exposed anyway.

It’s not cruel to keep an infectious teen in their room! We had similar situation: teen stayed in room; I popped in to deliver food, painkillers, check oxygen stats etc. Conversations were had from open doorway with landing and bedroom windows wide open. He slept, watched Netflix, talked to friends etc.

@Wrinklyeyes

A friend of ours did similar - left their 14-year-old in her room to isolate. She was sobbing by day 3 and they still didn’t let her out.

If you are both double-jabbed and no health vulnerabilities then I wouldn’t be attempting to keep your DS in his room at all.

What on earth? How cruel. I suppose I should have clarified my son was fine with the set up. If he'd had an issue then it absolutely would have been different.

Cruel?! Don't be ridiculous. He's 16, he's got his own bathroom and space, washing done, mum bringing him tempting food and anything else he needs several times a day.

What about all the poor 18 year old university students who got it two or three weeks after they'd left home for the first time, sharing a flat, bathrooms and kitchens with strangers, stuck in a tiny study bedroom with no one to do their washing nor shop / cook for them, no one to bring medication or give a second opinion on symptoms. That was cruel.

OP's son will be fine in the comfort of his home bedroom for ten days.

Apart from being pretty crap for him, it's also pointless. The chances are you'll all get it.

Just let him have the run of the house ffs. Technically I don't think the rest of you need to isolate but if you take your responsibility seriously you should.

If you're rule follower, the rules were NEVER that individual family member should be shut away from the rest of the household.

So while it's obviously not abusive in the grand scheme of things, I'm afraid I do find it pretty awful parenting.

It really does depend on the child/teen and how severe the symptoms were.

DD got it the first time round and her cough was awful, she couldn't sleep with it and her breathing was off. She slept with me the entire time because she needed me. I was ill at the same time though (confirmed antibodies for me)

DS had one night as well of not being able to breathe through his nose and a temp that I also slept with him.

My advice follow your instincts as a mother here that is all you can do. There is no right or wrong

'Apart from being pretty crap for him, it's also pointless. The chances are you'll all get it. Just let him have the run of the house ffs. Technically I don't think the rest of you need to isolate but if you take your responsibility seriously you should.'

It isn't 'pointless' at all. I know many people who stopped the whole household coming down with it by being sensible as the op is. Also 'technically' the rest of the house does need to isolate as they are close contacts. Jesus. It's no wonder we're where we are is it.

Well done op in behaving responsibly and sensibly. No nt teen will mind staying in their room for a few days with WiFi and room service .

Yes, I would just carry on as normal. I’d never isolate someone in the family. You’re vaxxed so unlikely to be ill if you get it absolutely not true , everyone who has been double vaxxed and got it have been really quite poorly for a week or two.

I’m not vaccinated and I’d just carry on as normal, no way I’d expect a child to isolate from family in your circumstances.... possibly try if someone in the household was vulnerable.

I'd just follow his lead tbh, I mean most teenagers "self isolate " in their rooms at the best of times don't they? Or maybe that's just my dc. Would he want you in there touching his forehead etc all the time i don't think mine would. If he wants you let him know that you'll be there and if he does want to come out his room he can, keep all the windows open, wear masks if you so wish, plenty anti bac

You’re isolating anyway so you’re not going to pass it on to anyone else. I couldn’t isolate myself from my child unless he was 100% happy to stay in his room (some teenagers will like this I imagine). I’d want to try and minimise risk of other child catching but I think that would be asking them both to stay away from each other if possible. Being vaccinated I assume when my kids get it if I do get it the chances of being seriously ill are hopefully small now so I’d hope for the best. Might ask him to wear a mask while wondering around the house.

I think sitting and eating outside sounds sensible. I’d try and keep a reasonable physical distance but would not ban hugs if he wanted one.