Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Wedding Anti Vaxxers

51 replies

Suffolkpunch345 · 23/07/2021 17:58

I’m due to get married in the next few months and we have downsized the wedding for safety, but have just been told that some of my closest family are refusing to have the vaccine. They are coming from overseas and told me they do not wish to discuss it and they refuse to allow me to disclose this to other guests.

I have a handful of vulnerable guests including my 98 year old Grandfather and I’m just not sure I can cope with the guilt of our event being the cause someone’s demise.

I also work for the NHS so I feel a sort of moral obligation.

I support people having total autonomy over whether they have the vaccine, I just don’t want to participate in the spread.

I’m really distraught and I know that other guests would choose not to come if they knew that guests weren’t vaccinated.

I really don’t know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated!

OP posts:
MaraScottie · 23/07/2021 18:01

How are they even going to travel with no vaccine?

Anyway, f*CK that. I would be having none of it.

XenoBitch · 23/07/2021 18:02

The safest thing to do would be to insist all guests take LFTs prior to arriving. Vaccinated people can still have and spread Covid.

SprayedWithDettol · 23/07/2021 18:04

Uninvite them. You have vulnerable guests who trump the antivaxxers.

tothelakes · 23/07/2021 18:06

I would uninvite them and would ask guests to do an LFT.

Horseyhorsey3 · 23/07/2021 18:15

@XenoBitch

The safest thing to do would be to insist all guests take LFTs prior to arriving. Vaccinated people can still have and spread Covid.
This is the most sensible and stress free option
XenoBitch · 23/07/2021 18:17

If they are travelling from abroad, they will have taken tests anyway.

BogRollBOGOF · 23/07/2021 18:18

If they're arriving in then they'll need PCRs or certificates from being infected within 90 days anyway wouldn't they? A PCR from a non-vaccinated guest is probably "safer" than a vaccinated guest anyway.

Orf1abc · 23/07/2021 18:21

Get everyone to take an lft beforehand. Your vaccinated friends can also pass on the virus.

Micemakingclothes · 23/07/2021 18:21

We have a vulnerable household member. We can only attend gatherings where everyone is vaccinated. I wouldn’t attend your wedding unless every single guest was willing to share their vaccination status.

We did have a very special family event recently and strangely, no one balked at giving us the details of their vaccinations. Every single attendee sent us a message when they got their first and then second shot so we knew by the time the event happened that everyone was 2 weeks past the 2nd shot and we could attend. That is what loving family does for someone they care about.

FflosFfantastig · 23/07/2021 18:57

As everyone else has suggested. Get all guests to test. Easy enough.

Imablamelesscar · 23/07/2021 19:46

@Suffolkpunch345 when you say they refuse to discuss it, do you mean all of it, are they refusing to agree to tests too?

Or are they willing to test but just don't want to discuss the vaccine?

LucyLocketsPocket · 23/07/2021 19:51

I wouldn't worry about this. They'll have had to have negative tests to travel?

TheKeatingFive · 23/07/2021 19:56

Given that the vaccinated can still get and spread covid, a negative test trumps a vaccine. Ask them to test.

RisingSunn · 23/07/2021 20:05

Just ask everyone to test? I would think they would have to before travel anyway.

Darbs76 · 23/07/2021 20:14

I’d be asking people to take a lateral flow test as the vaccine doesn’t mean you can’t spread or have Covid. I’m double jabbed and currently on day 9 of Covid.

bumbleymummy · 23/07/2021 20:16

@XenoBitch

The safest thing to do would be to insist all guests take LFTs prior to arriving. Vaccinated people can still have and spread Covid.
This.
Wjevtvha · 23/07/2021 20:27

Are you not inviting children because they haven’t been vaccinated out of interest?
As others have said you can still spread it even if you’ve had the vaccine; I would just ask people to take a lateral flow test

Original poster
Suffolkpunch345 · 23/07/2021 20:51

@MaraScottie

How are they even going to travel with no vaccine?

Anyway, f*CK that. I would be having none of it.

You can come from the USA with a negative test.
OP posts:
Original poster
Suffolkpunch345 · 23/07/2021 20:57

I think they would agree to tests. LFTs are not that accurate though.

I take on board what others say about LFTs, and I realise that even those vaccinated can get COVID - I also know that if you are vaccinated and then get COVID it is less transmissible if you are vaccinated and it’s about damage limitation in terms of vulnerable guests.

OP posts:
Original poster
Suffolkpunch345 · 23/07/2021 20:58

@Wjevtvha

Are you not inviting children because they haven’t been vaccinated out of interest? As others have said you can still spread it even if you’ve had the vaccine; I would just ask people to take a lateral flow test
One child - babe in arms
OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 23/07/2021 20:58

LFTs are not that accurate though

Pretty sure they’re more accurate than just assuming everyone who has been vaxxed is safe.

Notaroadrunner · 23/07/2021 21:05

Why are they being so secretive, refusing to let you tell anyone else? If they are happy with their decision to refuse a vaccine then let them own that decision and stop pretending otherwise. The fact they are telling you not to tell anyone would piss me off more than them not being vaccinated.

luckylavender · 23/07/2021 21:10

I thought the USA had put us on their Red list. V difficult to travel.

Original poster
Suffolkpunch345 · 23/07/2021 21:32

@Notaroadrunner

Why are they being so secretive, refusing to let you tell anyone else? If they are happy with their decision to refuse a vaccine then let them own that decision and stop pretending otherwise. The fact they are telling you not to tell anyone would piss me off more than them not being vaccinated.
I guess because myself and many of my wedding party are medics and they don’t want to engage in a conversation about it.
OP posts:
boogiebogie · 23/07/2021 22:26

@TheKeatingFive

Given that the vaccinated can still get and spread covid, a negative test trumps a vaccine. Ask them to test.
Yes... Absolutely this. How utterly rude and obnoxious to say to univite them. Lft test everyone. Vaccinated people are as risk of spread also.
Swipe left for the next trending thread