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Original poster

I wanted to ask the young man behind me in the queue, to move back.

180 replies

Twoforthree · 23/07/2021 09:25

Just this really. He wasn’t right on my heels but pretty close. Given that this age group are the main carriers at the moment, and he wasn’t wearing a mask, I desperately wanted to ask him to social distance a bit more. I didn’t, but I felt very uncomfortable.

Should I have said something? Would you have done?

Overall I was pleasantly surprised how many people were still wearing masks.I did look at those who weren’t, and silently judge them and think how selfish they were. I know some of them would have been exempt for a good reason but a lot of them wouldn’t be.

OP posts:
Katshouldnotswim · 23/07/2021 09:29

Confused why on earth did you not say “excuse me - would you mind giving me a bit more space”

lifehappened · 23/07/2021 09:30

Selfish 😂😂😂

Original poster
Twoforthree · 23/07/2021 09:34

I didn’t say anything because it was a long queue, and I was embarrassed.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 23/07/2021 09:35

You should have asked, although if you weren’t face to face that cuts the risk.

onelittlefrog · 23/07/2021 09:40

You could have politely said something.

It needs to be normal to say something - people should expect to be asked to distance if they are standing too close to someone.

Of course, there's the risk that they are going to be inconsiderate and get hostile about it. You don't know the person or how they're feeling about Covid.

But if they are standing close to you without a mask they shouldn't be surprised at being asked to move. It's not an unusual thing to want someone to keep away from you right now.

I asked someone to move away from me in a coffee shop the other day and he was absolutely fine about it.

Alpenguin · 23/07/2021 09:41

Start coughing. Everyone moves away from you.

Farting helps too

Prettybubblesintheair · 23/07/2021 09:41

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onelittlefrog · 23/07/2021 09:42

I've also been pleasantly surprised by how many are still wearing masks and actually it is a very handy indicator of who is a nice considerate socially responsible person!

FlowerArranger · 23/07/2021 09:44

You need to speak up! Politely but firmly.

I did so a couple of days ago and the chap moved back, looking very sheepish.

Yes, there is a risk of an aggressive response, but what exactly are they going to do in a public place?

And chances are that others in the vicinity would back you up. I know I wood. If worse comes to worst, alert staff.

Original poster
Twoforthree · 23/07/2021 09:45

@onelittlefrog

I've also been pleasantly surprised by how many are still wearing masks and actually it is a very handy indicator of who is a nice considerate socially responsible person!
Yes, that’s what I thought,
OP posts:
strawberrydonuts · 23/07/2021 09:45

@Prettybubblesintheair

And the point of your post is?
Not sure how it could have been clearer really. Did you read the post? The OP is asking if it would have been socially acceptable to ask the person to move away, as he was making them feel uncomfortable.

Presumably OP is wondering if they would have gotten a gob full from this person if they'd said something, and if they didn't the right thing by doing the shut up/ put up routine.

Does that help?

PicsInRed · 23/07/2021 09:46

Should I have said something?

Yes, easily solved.

Would you have done?

Lit the firebrands and converged upon the offender to chants of "UNCLEAN UNCLEAN"?

Or asked for more space, one or the other.

donaldbump · 23/07/2021 09:46

I understand OP. Use the next opportunity to just ask politely. Don’t start with ‘I’m sorry’ either. What’s the worst that will happen? They tut and grumble? Who cares?

Scottishgirl85 · 23/07/2021 09:50

You were always able to ask for more personal space, even before covid. But you have to accept that in public places some people really do just want to get back to some sort of normality. It's not natural for humans to jump away from each other. Covid will be around forever, there will always be a risk amongst millions of other risks. I hope you were only buying fresh healthy produce at the shop, to help reduce the 600 people that die of cancer and heart disease every day in UK.

strawberrydonuts · 23/07/2021 09:52

If you're worried about an aggressive response you could always ask politely and say you are clinically vulnerable. It would be pretty ignorant and rude to kick up a fuss about stepping away if someone has said that to you, and might also make them think about invisible disabilities that people around them could have.

The more people actually comment on it, the more they will think about their behaviour.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 23/07/2021 09:56

I recently asked a family to stay further away, I really felt they were breathing down my neck. I waited for the queue to move and as I stepped forward I just quietly asked them to stay where they were. They were fine and the man apologised, my DH was embarrassed though Grin

onelittlefrog · 23/07/2021 09:56

@Scottishgirl85

You were always able to ask for more personal space, even before covid. But you have to accept that in public places some people really do just want to get back to some sort of normality. It's not natural for humans to jump away from each other. Covid will be around forever, there will always be a risk amongst millions of other risks. I hope you were only buying fresh healthy produce at the shop, to help reduce the 600 people that die of cancer and heart disease every day in UK.
We are getting back to some sort of normality.

If that doesn't involve social distancing though, we will face more restrictions/ less normality sooner when things blow up again.

It's not difficult to just be a little more aware of your surroundings and your proximity to others, especially if you're not going to wear a mask.

We all want to get back to normality, and this is how we keep things open and keep some sense of normality, rather than going back into further lockdowns. Keeping space between you and others where you can is an extremely small price to pay.

Geamhradh · 23/07/2021 10:00

It would have been perfectly OK to ask him to move back.
In the supermarket I use, it often happens.

borntobequiet · 23/07/2021 10:03

I asked a young man sitting opposite me with his mask under his chin to wear it properly - he did. This was on the Tube so he really should have been anyway.

ChristmasShearwater · 23/07/2021 10:03

Should I have said something?

No

Would you have done?

No

Astraturf · 23/07/2021 10:04

It's not been happening to me recently because people in my area still seem good with social distancing but before the pandemic I used to stand side ways in queues with my feet as far apart as they would go.
I called it woman spreading.

WeHaveComeSoFar · 23/07/2021 10:05

I did look at those who weren’t, and silently judge them and think how selfish they were

I'm sure they were really bothered Wink

Kazzyhoward · 23/07/2021 10:06

@Scottishgirl85 I hope you were only buying fresh healthy produce at the shop, to help reduce the 600 people that die of cancer and heart disease every day in UK.

What's that got to do with anything? People CHOOSE what to eat and if THEY want to increase THEIR risks of cancer/heart disease, then it's up to THEM. Covid is completely different - it affects OTHER people! See the difference?

CrouchEndTiger12 · 23/07/2021 10:06

Should I have said something? Would you have done?

No and no

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 23/07/2021 10:07

You should have said something if you felt like this. Most people are in their own little worlds, looking at phones etc and he probably had no idea.