Worried about DD - advice please

seasonalremarks · 2021-06-28T22:33:54+00:00

I am worried about my DD who is currently isolating alone in halls as all her flatmates have left. Someone tested positive and she has now also tested positive. It feels wrong for her to be on her own. She wants to come home but we can't all isolate and be off work and school or do you think we should?

BarbarianMum · 28/06/2021 23:37

No you shouldn't! Keep in close touch w her, send her treats but let her finish her 10 days isolating and then bring her home.

Original poster

seasonalremarks · 28/06/2021 23:41

I am in touch with her several times a day. She is down. Is she even allowed to breathe in fresh air outside?

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theemperorhasnoclothes · 28/06/2021 23:42

Is the university supporting her? They should be

Original poster

seasonalremarks · 28/06/2021 23:44

No

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babbaloushka · 28/06/2021 23:48

So sorry to hear this, it seems rife at the moment. Are you able to drop some treats off for her, maybe Skype once a day and watch something at the same time? Wave at her through the window? Did she get on with her flatmates? Is she able to socialise online with them via Skype?

BarbarianMum · 28/06/2021 23:53

No she cant go out. She can open a window for fresh air. It's 10 days, and bored and down are better than sick and scared.

Original poster

seasonalremarks · 28/06/2021 23:57

Ok that's helpful thank you.

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Original poster

seasonalremarks · 28/06/2021 23:59

Can't visit as I am working and have other children. She is a 5 hr drive away.

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Biscusting · 29/06/2021 00:04

I’m really appalled at the way universities have treated students over the pandemic. There should be some support for your dd available. Is there a student union rep around she can email?

I feel for you both it’s tough, but I think keeping in touch over the phone and staying positive for a few days before bringing her home is best.

Original poster

seasonalremarks · 29/06/2021 00:06

I have suggested Student Services etc but she is quite shy and introverted so will not do this.

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theleavesaregreen · 29/06/2021 00:09

I'm in exactly the same situation, OP. DD at university is shut up in her room ill with Covid. I'm worried, and frustrated that she didn't sort out getting vaccinated as soon as it was available. I've phoned the university and they've told me they make sure students with Covid get food and their post delivered, and are occasionally checked on (by phone). I just really wish she hadn't got it, especially at this late stage. I've sent her sweets, cds, books and some Covid related stuff. She's not a communicator and doesn't get in touch. Maybe a text a day.

Original poster

seasonalremarks · 29/06/2021 00:09

She has had a pretty rubbish year really.

The first term was obviously online but she couldn't hear her lectures because a pneumatic drill was taking up the car park outside her window to turn into a Covid testing site.

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theleavesaregreen · 29/06/2021 00:10

I don't think you should bring her home. If you do, others in the family will probably get Covid, and there's a long term health risk (that's my greatest worry).

Original poster

seasonalremarks · 29/06/2021 00:15

No I won't but she did beg me this morning to come and get her. She said she would sleep in a tent in the garden.

She seems a little better now. Sorry to hear about your DD too. I think she was generally worried about being ill on her own with Covid as for a couple of days she was quite ill.

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theemperorhasnoclothes · 29/06/2021 07:49

Perhaps you could phone student services? I'd ask what exactly you're paying for if they can't support her at a time like this.

She doesn't have to know you were the one that prompted them to get in touch with her and do what they should have been doing anyway. Presumably they know she's isolating. They should know which of their students tested positive for test and trace purposes anyway, so if they don't that's a real problem and if they do why the hell aren't they supporting her?

theleavesaregreen · 29/06/2021 08:17

I didn't hesitate about phoning student services, when I wasn't sure whether DD had informed them and was being supported, and was worried about her. They should already know about your DD, and prompting from you that they should be looking out for her won't hurt.

NutterflyEffect · 29/06/2021 08:19

Honestly shes an adult and its 10 days. Lots of adults have to isolate alone when they are ill, why does it feel wrong to you?

Of course she's feeling down, she's ill and she's got to stay inside for 10 days. She will be bored, lonely and feeling crap. That doesn't mean that you need to immediately come and collect her, she needs to learn to deal with these situations. It will end. If she's shy and introverted I think that's even more reason not to call student services for her, she will have to do these things for herself in future and will only build up confidence doing that sort of thing if she actually does it

Its a 5 hour drive. Can you do that without stopping? Can the whole household isolate for 10 days after she arrives? I think unlikely. By all means video call her, send a support packages etc.

Whatalottachocca · 29/06/2021 08:22

I'd pick her up and bring her home.

HazyDaisy123456 · 29/06/2021 08:28

The SU and or Student Services have a duty of care to your daughter. Surely their is someone at the Uni that they need to notify if anyone has covid? The SU at many Uni’s were delivering food parcels to students and a team from the University should also be supporting students isolating. I think Morrisons had a local dedicated phone number for anyone isolating to call and they would do deliveries.

MilduraS · 29/06/2021 08:40

If she's in university owned accommodation they should be dropping off food. At the uni where I work they send a long email with lots of FAQs and contact details of departments for different types of help. They also tell smokers to let them know so they can tell them where their designated smoking space is. Assuming DD isn't a smoker but it would be worth asking if there is a designated place she can use when she needs some fresh air. Unfortunately going out for a full walk is in breach of the rules. Student services would be the first people I'd ask as they tend to be sympathetic and lovely to deal with. Ours are brilliant and particularly good with shy and unconfident students who don't quite know how to ask for what they need.

Cam2020 · 29/06/2021 09:50

Of course she's feeling down, she's ill and she's got to stay inside for 10 days. She will be bored, lonely and feeling crap. That doesn't mean that you need to immediately come and collect her, she needs to learn to deal with these situations. It will end. If she's shy and introverted I think that's even more reason not to call student services for her, she will have to do these things for herself in future and will only build up confidence doing that sort of thing if she actually does it

I agree.

I know it must feel really harsh to you, but she is an adult and has gone off to university, aware that this could happen. It's 10 days - even less than that now, I'm presuming.

VariantL1130 · 29/06/2021 10:01

I would not hesitate to go get her.

The way we have treated young people and children has been inhumane. Can't believe anyone would leave their distressed child in this situation.

It's like all the talk about mental health being just as important as physical health never happened.

StrongArm · 29/06/2021 10:06

my daughter also got it at university and it was tough. It really hurt me not going to get her and tbh, had she got sicker (she was quite wheezy at one stage), I think I would have driven to be with her even if I stayed and isolated with her rather than bringing her back.

In the end, I didn't go but I did send some ice cream and fresh fruit and some easy meals so that she wasn't relying on take aways. Can you see if that's possible? Halls usually have pretty good deliveries available.

lemmein · 29/06/2021 10:09

@VariantL1130

I would not hesitate to go get her.

The way we have treated young people and children has been inhumane. Can't believe anyone would leave their distressed child in this situation.

It's like all the talk about mental health being just as important as physical health never happened.

Yep, I would too!

Original poster

seasonalremarks · 29/06/2021 10:10

I am tempted to go get her tomorrow. The rest of her flat are now at home after finding out their other flatmate tested positive.

We would all have to isolate as we work in healthcare and DC would have to isolate so I have to balance the impact on the rest of the family too.

I have hardly slept a wink. I feel I have have let her down considerably.

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