Does anyone else have close family or friends who are still not happy to meet up?

[IncessantNameChanger]

I have a friend in her early forties who will only talk to her parents through a closed glass window. She is horrified I walked through my sisters house to get into her garden as the only other way is via the garage and two locked doors.

My mum has no interest in seeing me or her grand children since last March. Mum, me and dh are all three weeks post our second vaccine.

Anyone else in this situation? I'm not sure my friend will easy to meet up with even if she wants to after her second vaccine. I'm worried I would be on eggshells with her in case I made her uncomfortable.

I wouldnt step over their boundaries. My mum is rather toxic so its probably a perfect excuse to avoid us. I think my friend has long term undiagnosed OCD but she would deny this strongly. I respect her choices totally but I just wonder sometimes when will ever meet up.

@Abracadabra12345

I tend to think that those who are living like this have cosy, comfortable lifestyles and enjoying this prolonged, self-imposed lockdown. Even if anxious and watching too much media coverage, they can choose to stay in their comfortable homes. Those of us who have physicallybeen going out to work are probably more relaxed.

I do have a friend who is still fearful of meeting up, but she’s been wfh and has loved it. Im happy to wait for her to gain confidence although I don’t know when that will be. In the meantime, I’ll carry on living life fully while following guidelines

Think I buck that trend we've been going to work all through and we are only meeting people outdoors. We feel our exposure is enough with our work and are just waiting a bit longer before we do anything indoors. (Don't trust the government to know the difference between their arse and a hole in the ground!)

@Pootle40

You can thank the gov and media for this hysteria. Totally unnecessary

Couldn’t agree more, this whole thing has descended into a level of farce that I never thought possible.

@MummaPI fair enough if you don’t trust the government but surely you trust yourself enough to make your own judgements?
I presume you cross roads / drive to get to the office? You’ve got a chance of being in a car accident or being run over every day but you still take that “risk”

[quote Checkingout811]@MummaPI fair enough if you don’t trust the government but surely you trust yourself enough to make your own judgements?
I presume you cross roads / drive to get to the office? You’ve got a chance of being in a car accident or being run over every day but you still take that “risk”[/quote]
Thank you, yes I do trust my own judgements.
Don't quote your percentage risk shit to me. I make my own judgement and am happy with that, at no point have I said I'm not doing anything, just that we prefer to keep outside at the moment. Get off your high horse and stop getting offended by everything!

@MummaPI I’m not sure where I appeared offended or where I quoted anything. I gave my own opinions. People living a shit half life doesn’t offend me. I’m having a great time and so are my children which is all that mattters to me. I just find it utterly bizarre grown adults are happy to be controlled like this in 2021 😂

I'm only meeting people outdoors still.
Although I did get the train into a city recently.
I've no real.reason to be over anxious but I know I am.
I start a new job in 2 weeks time. Iys customer facing and the 6 weeks training course is with 13 other people. So I know I've got to face my fears and get on with it and I will bit yep I am scared.

Maybe cos I'm anxious but I just think we've all been through it on one level.or another this past 18 months and as a result we all need to respect each other. We're all in different places and coping in our own way.

My dad and step mum are still refusing to see us, even outside. I’ve given up to be honest. DD and I made him a cake for his birthday and I had to leave it outside on a table so he could collect it once we’d left the garden (without even seeing him). We only live 3 miles away and drive past his house regularly, that cake was still sat there in its box 3 days later! DH and I are both vulnerable so have been double vaccinated for a while now, as have Dad and step mum but he’s convinced DD will infect him even if we’re outside and socially distanced. It’s all a bit shit for her to be honest, before Covid she absolutely loved going over but now I fear the damage is irreversible. She’s stopped even asking about them as they make no effort to stay in touch. I totally understand what you’re saying OP, some relationships will never be the same unfortunately.

[quote Checkingout811]@MummaPI I’m not sure where I appeared offended or where I quoted anything. I gave my own opinions. People living a shit half life doesn’t offend me. I’m having a great time and so are my children which is all that mattters to me. I just find it utterly bizarre grown adults are happy to be controlled like this in 2021 😂[/quote]
If you're not sure where you have offended than you better read your post back.
"cross the road or drive my car and take that risk"
"Grown adults being controlled"
Give me a break, I'm not controlled by anyone, make my own judgements based on our circumstances and won't be belittled by people like you who think I'm wrong.
I'm happy for you to get on with your life however you want, but apparently I can't because it's not what you believe.
I have family and friends doing everything from not locking down to completely isolating and every single one of their opinions matter because that's what makes them happy. Its called humility, you should try it.

Sort of
I have a friend who lives in a lovely house with a big garden

She offered to meet outdoors somewhere but wants us to both wear masks and sit far apart. Her garden is not acceptable for her as O guess she thinks I'd want to use the loo

She is waiting for zero Covid and (understandably IMHO) won't take the vaccine as she has a blood disorder.

I have said no. I would love to see her but not like this.

My mum is still refusing to see us even outside, and she's had both doses of vaccine. Very frustrating and upsetting for my DC.

@MummaPI you’re very worked up. You need to get out more. Literally.

We're only meeting up with people outside, and will be until we're fully vaccinated. I still don't want to get Covid, and we have a child in nursery which feels like a big enough risk already.

Once I'm fully vaxxed I'll see how things stand - if we're in the middle of a third wave I'll still be careful. I have been wfh throughout but am certainly not agoraphobic... I can't bear the days when we have to isolate because DC is ill. I would love to go back to normal, but am very aware we are still living through a pandemic.

@GNCQ

Yes my DH has total Covid paranoia and refuses to see anyone, he also refuses to allow me to see anyone. It's shit. Everyone is different.

@GNCQ

Not permitting you to meet anyone is abusive and controlling. You should not stand for this. He does not own you, and you absolutely should not be a prisoner in your own home.

Everyone I know is meeting outside still.

Personally I'm not comfortable with going anywhere indoors, supermarkets aside if I have to. There's just no need really.

Checking out

You are really being quite rude to MummaPI and coming over as very immature.

@Willyoujustbequiet

Checking out

You are really being quite rude to MummaPI and coming over as very immature.

I think it’s the other way round, MummaPI took umbrage at a completely innocuous comment and got “offended”.

[quote Checkingout811]@MummaPI fair enough if you don’t trust the government but surely you trust yourself enough to make your own judgements?
I presume you cross roads / drive to get to the office? You’ve got a chance of being in a car accident or being run over every day but you still take that “risk”[/quote]
Risks add up like calories. If you want a fairly low risk lifestyle for covid then you pick and choose risks in such a way that overall they don't add up to too many.

Saying "well it's dangerous crossing a road so you might as well meet everyone indoors" is like saying "well you eat frosties for breakfast so you might as well also eat unlimited biscuits".

@Willyoujustbequiet her first reply to my first comment was ridiculous and clearly touched a nerve. I get some people who are choosing to live beyond the restrictions feel they have to justify themselves but it really isn’t necessary. There was nothing remotely rude about my first reply. After that, well you may aswell just take the piss if someone’s worked up over a few sentences. Replying with anything like sensible will just get another bite.

@ThisTrawtFlip I like your logic. So eat the Frosties and the biscuits but go to the gym and do 20k steps every day.

Then wear a mask, keep to groups of 6 at a table and social distance whilst out yet still go to work AND see your own family in your own home?

I don’t know anyone like this I’m real life . I’ve mentioned it before but my dd caught Covid most probably at work . It was before restrictions lifted so the only place our household had gone was work / school / supermarket nobody had been to the house . So the way I see it unless your not going anywhere even work / shop you can catch it so I honestly don’t understand this fear especially from some mentioned on hear very young ,each to their own do as you do I suppose.

[quote Checkingout811]@MummaPI you’re very worked up. You need to get out more. Literally.[/quote]
Ha! I am, that's my point! 🤣
No biting here, you're just not listening. You've decided I'm holed up at home, talking to people at a distance and loving lockdown. If only you knew our circumstance, no lockdown for me and very much risk taking in our jobs.
I'm playing the long game that's all.
(BTW, love people like you who tell me I'm biting when your posts are clearly angry at me for 'not crossing the road') 😂😂
Have a good day!

@Willyoujustbequiet

Checking out

You are really being quite rude to MummaPI and coming over as very immature.

Thanks @RoseRedRoseBlue, Mumsnet is full of people like that! Sometimes when fishing, you get a bite 😜

We are only meeting friends outside, but did go to stay with DH parents this week. We live in an area which is high for the Delta variant. I was feeling pretty relaxed after one jab, but feel I now need the second to be confident. Another month seems worth the wait. I’m no scared of dying, just don’t want long COVID or days/weeks off work and school stuck at home unable to even go out to exercise if me and/or the kids have to self isolate. I’m happy to be cautious and preserve the freedom we already have just for a short while more.

For the sake of a few more weeks until we've all had both doses I've no problem waiting. After going through it all this long it's not much of an ask.

[quote Checkingout811]@ThisTrawtFlip I like your logic. So eat the Frosties and the biscuits but go to the gym and do 20k steps every day.

Then wear a mask, keep to groups of 6 at a table and social distance whilst out yet still go to work AND see your own family in your own home?[/quote]
So do whatever combination you want. The current restrictions or lack of are a public health measure, not a minimum designed to keep individuals safe. They build in and accept a certain amount of illness, hospitalisations and death across society. Any individual who wants a lower individual covid risk than is built into whatever the current measures are is perfectly reasonable being more cautious than the minimum.