Does anyone else have close family or friends who are still not happy to meet up?

[IncessantNameChanger]

I have a friend in her early forties who will only talk to her parents through a closed glass window. She is horrified I walked through my sisters house to get into her garden as the only other way is via the garage and two locked doors.

My mum has no interest in seeing me or her grand children since last March. Mum, me and dh are all three weeks post our second vaccine.

Anyone else in this situation? I'm not sure my friend will easy to meet up with even if she wants to after her second vaccine. I'm worried I would be on eggshells with her in case I made her uncomfortable.

I wouldnt step over their boundaries. My mum is rather toxic so its probably a perfect excuse to avoid us. I think my friend has long term undiagnosed OCD but she would deny this strongly. I respect her choices totally but I just wonder sometimes when will ever meet up.

We are seeing friends who we know are limiting their contacts and mainly outdoors where possible.

Other friends and family have resumed a full social life so am in no hurry to meet up yet. We aren’t fully vaccinated and the DC haven’t had any so have no protection.

I'm not in a hurry to do things indoors. More than happy to meet up outside. All my friends and family are happy to do both. Although, my family prefer outside.

If numbers keep increasing, I should think myself and family will decide outdoor only.

I have a friend who hasn’t met anyone or been anywhere inside since last March. With the exception of her mother and for vaccinations.

I have friends and colleagues (fully vaccinated) who won't even meet up outside let alone inside. Some of them have barely left their houses for a year. I find it worrying as I think the longer this goes on, the harder it will be for them but I don't think their reaction is unusual.

Yes I have a family member who will not set foot in my house, 30s and no known health conditions making them high risk.

Yes, my DM will not visit us. Even though we're moving 100 miles away in 6 weeks time. She's had both vaccines, we have both had our first but not second. It's been difficult getting her to meet up at all, and I suggested a visit yesterday, she said she wants to wait until after the 14th when the govt announces next steps. I'm not trying again.

🙋🏻‍♀️

Each to their own I suppose, some people really need contact with others (I'm one of them) others are equally happy to live without. If she's happy enough to stay isolated then leave her be, unfortunately it may mean your friendship eventually fizzles out as these things normally do after long periods without contact. For now, I'd respect her wishes but maintain equal efforts to maintain a virtual friendship, a good friend would welcome her back with open arms as and when she's ready but don't feel you need to keep that option open indefinitely if she isn't forthcoming herself in maintaining a virtual friendship.

I know a few people who feel like this yes.

Those who are still not meeting indoors, genuine question, what are you waiting for?

I don't mean that to sound awful, just I honestly can't see where all of this is going long term. Covid may well be with us now forever, it will likely carry on mutating.

Are people expecting to alter their lives now forever?

I am like this but I am in my third trimester of pregnancy and not vaccinated. Due to have baby in the next few weeks so I don't want any complications such as covid. I have been careful throughout my pregnancy whereas my family have been a bit more laid back. Even at Christmas when delivering gifts / cards to family, a few of them invited us in, and we said no. We haven't had any family in our house except my parents but even then we have tried to see them outside as much as possible and when they have come it has been to help us out by bringing food. A couple of times I have asked them to remember to keep a distance and even suggested they don't need to come in every time they come over, which I felt bad for after, but I am anxious about getting covid while pregnant.

My 24-year old niece will still not go out. She's desperate to have her vaccinations.

@Januaryissodull I think when we know what happens next winter I will be happier meeting indoors, if cases remain low.

Yes, I have a relative in mid-40s who has still only had one vaccine, despite living in central London in area with high case numbers.

The government say they are bring forward second doses from 12 weeks to 8, in reality this means an individual has to cancel their second dose and try to rebook it sooner, with the high likelihood that actually that will mean the second dose is even later (not like the vaccine centres are exactly empty, is it?).

The government should be allowing people or their GP to reschedule the second vaccine rather than cancel and rebook.

Until relative has had second, they are going nowhere, seeing no-one.

And since one dose of AZ only gives 30% protection against Delta/Indian variant, I think they are right.

@Januaryissodull

I know a few people who feel like this yes.

Those who are still not meeting indoors, genuine question, what are you waiting for?

I don't mean that to sound awful, just I honestly can't see where all of this is going long term. Covid may well be with us now forever, it will likely carry on mutating.

Are people expecting to alter their lives now forever?

We're meeting outdoors only at the mo for most people. Only seeing indoors my elderly mum who's was in our bubble and my father in law inside his nursing home. Waiting for my youngest daughter to have her 2nd vaccine (was missed from group 6 so had her first one late) and think will probably feel more comfortable meeting indoors then - but while the weather's nice over the summer I'm happier being outdoors anyway.

My mum.wont entertain sitting outside ever. That will never be a option she as been very clear to me that she will never sit entertaining in her garden ever.

My friend also isnt comfortable with meeting outside hence her family had to be outside with glass in between them.

My friend is about 250 miles away so we normally meet once or twice a year at a half way pub. I can ask her when she is going to meet up with people indoors again - or in a pub garden and gauge her horror levels from that 😉

But my mum? I'm not sure if this is her excuse to never see me again. She is 70 miles away and I could in theory sit in her garden and not need to enter her house at all then drive back all within a afternoon. I wouldnt even need her loo as there is motorway services on route and I'm double vaxxed and also had covid this year. So to me i take the risks with services etc as if I'm not safe i never will be this safe again so close to having covid.

It's their choice I know. It just pangs me when people say " we are going back to normal" a lot of my normal, my love ones, feel like they wont ever be returning to pre covid lives.

On the grand scale it could be worse I know.

Glad in a way to hear it's not just them.

I tend to think that those who are living like this have cosy, comfortable lifestyles and enjoying this prolonged, self-imposed lockdown. Even if anxious and watching too much media coverage, they can choose to stay in their comfortable homes. Those of us who have physicallybeen going out to work are probably more relaxed.

I do have a friend who is still fearful of meeting up, but she’s been wfh and has loved it. Im happy to wait for her to gain confidence although I don’t know when that will be. In the meantime, I’ll carry on living life fully while following guidelines

@IncessantNameChanger

My mum.wont entertain sitting outside ever. That will never be a option she as been very clear to me that she will never sit entertaining in her garden ever.

My friend also isnt comfortable with meeting outside hence her family had to be outside with glass in between them.

My friend is about 250 miles away so we normally meet once or twice a year at a half way pub. I can ask her when she is going to meet up with people indoors again - or in a pub garden and gauge her horror levels from that 😉

But my mum? I'm not sure if this is her excuse to never see me again. She is 70 miles away and I could in theory sit in her garden and not need to enter her house at all then drive back all within a afternoon. I wouldnt even need her loo as there is motorway services on route and I'm double vaxxed and also had covid this year. So to me i take the risks with services etc as if I'm not safe i never will be this safe again so close to having covid.

It's their choice I know. It just pangs me when people say " we are going back to normal" a lot of my normal, my love ones, feel like they wont ever be returning to pre covid lives.

On the grand scale it could be worse I know.

Glad in a way to hear it's not just them.

I think there are a lot of very anxious people out there who are just terrified of meeting up with anyone and it's not personal - just trying to cope with their "constant alert anxiety" the best they can. It's so hard to think what's reasonable when you're so scared. My mother in law wouldn't even open her windows last summer as she was so terrified the virus would get in her house. Maybe your mum may get more comfortable if you see her in her garden, even if it's through the glass to start with. Possibly some of my friends have thought I've reacted oddly when they've suggested meeting up but I've just been trying to work out how we can do it safely as it sets off a million questions/thoughts in my head, it's not because I don't want to see them. It will get better. The uncertainty over the 21st June and the Delta variant doesn't help does it

I’m fully vaccinated

I also think a lot of people have actually found themselves glad and relieved to have an excuse not to socialise (I know I have to a certain extent) and those people will be prolonging getting 'back to normal' for as long as possible.

I honestly think this has caused agoraphobic behaviour in some. The person I know with previously diagnosed agoraphobia now does not leave the house at all. Others have totally retreated from social contact.

Our county rate is 4 per 100k people. This isn't in proportion.

@IncessantNameChanger I wonder if you were to do a lateral flow test before visiting your mum or your friend if this would reassure them ? I don't know if you ever use them but they are easy to order from gov.uk website. I have to test for work and visiting my mum (care home) but anyone can order them .

I wonder why your mum and friend won't meet outside ? I can understand people being wary indoors , but with better weather in the summer it's so easy to see people outside .

God, where is this all going to end? It’s madness.

No, I don't. I'd not bother with them if so.

@RoseRedRoseBlue

God, where is this all going to end? It’s madness.

It is.