Would friends breaching restrictions stop/affect your friendship?

[Summerhere123]

Not asking whether you agree with them breaking restrictions or not I wish to know that if you don’t agree, would it affect or stop your friendship.
So, eg if 3 of your friends were travelling to a lower tier area when not supposed to, in order that they can have an overnight break, and they were fairly recent friendships, would it make you rethink the friendship. Basically folk I’ve known since school/ college etc wouldn’t do this, but those who are breaching restrictions are friendships from very recent years. I think it’s selfish as they could unknowingly be spreading the virus. It’s made me view them differently. Thanks

Yes. It’s just an insight into what type of person they are. One who believes the rules don’t apply to them, because they are in some way more important or special than everyone else. It’s really opened my eyes to certain people.

No, it would not. Many people have reached their limit. I wont end a friendship over stuff like that.

Penguin, totally agree. I think I’ll struggle to continue those particular friendships. It’s definitely made me view them differently.

Not in the slightest.

Would you also fall out with people who break the rules to see their parents? Children? Weird behaviour.

I think travelling to a lower tier for an overnight break is slightly different.

I think it would depend on the severity of the breach but I have lost respect for some people. (I know a breach is a breach but someone not isolating who should be, I find more serious than someone who had a socially distanced chat with someone in the garden before we were allowed in gardens).

Am intrigued as to where you are that has a tier system, I've a feeling we might see that here again even though BJ has said not.

Not really, what is affecting my friendship is someone who has been completely sucked into conspiracy theories around COVID and even wears a sunflower lanyard to get out of wearing a mask (so happy to pretend to be someone with a disability!).

Nope. I haven't been perfect by any means throughout this so I wouldn't judge a friend.

No I wouldn't but I also wouldn't care if a friend decided to cut me out because of something like this.

We're or doing tiers now are we?

Nope, cos I've not followed all the restrictions myself.

But we're not in tiers?

Huh- tiers still exist? Nope I don’t care what anyone else does

No. Tbh I’m a bit down on people who unquestioningly follow all the rules; that’s more likely to make me question if we were compatible as friends but really if it was specific to covid I’d probably have that thought and just let it go.

I have lost respect for friends who have broken rules to suit themselves (not talking g minor infarctions but the sort of thing where people clearly exhibit exceptionalism) so yes that has affected my feelings on them.

It depends on what the rule. I have leeway for things like people visiting their immediate family indoors - people do have a breaking point, and I don't want to judge their actions. But other things - like making zero effort to quarantine even 1 day after flying back from holiday, or going to the supermarket when you have a fever because it's more convenient than ordering a shop...yeah that annoys me.

no, but friends who were too relaxed about covid and socialising, i did avoid until vaccinated. I didnt stop being friends, but i did bitch a bit behind their backs about how lax they were being to dp in private

It really depends on what they do and why. Your example exposes a very selfish attitude because it's unnecessary travel, I wouldn't like that either and it would make me reassess their values. Having visits that aren't allowed because they or their kids need it, meh, just see them outside until vaccinated. Similarly visiting family abroad might be necessary by now for someone's mental health and wouldn't raise an eyebrow, whereas I'd think those going for just a holiday in an Amber list country were being pretty selfish.

Not at all; I’m actually more judgmental of people who rigidly follow nonsensical rules without questioning or attempting to assess risks for themselves. Or those who are especially sanctimonious and performative about their rule following.

I’ve been criticised by several ‘friends’ during the pandemic for minor and broadly harmless infringements of the rules, only to find out later than they’ve broken rules themselves but were less open about it, or have pushed the guidelines to their limits to justify risky behaviour that was technically within the rules.

I would certainly think less of them unless there were really compelling reasons for not following guidance.

No. Like a pp I judge people more who unthinkingly follow rules which they give no critical thought to.

I've been deciding for myself what I am comfortable doing, well within the rules set for us in England. This would have naturally tended to deselect friends who were not doing the same.

As it happens I don't know anyone to whom I am close who has been taking any risks, so it really doesn't arise.

This may be because we are relatively old. I think it's different at the older end of the age spectrum, where a year is nothing really compared to children for whom a year is a significant portion of their whole life.

This depends if it’s actually rule breaking . If it’s England there are no tiers so you can travel so no it wouldn’t bother me because I can’t see it being a rule break .
Where to you live is there tiers !

It's difficult. I have a friend who is going on holiday to an amber listed country and says she has no intention of quarantining on return. If caught she'll just pay the fine. She can afford to do that, she is very well off, but morally I think it's pretty disgraceful.

I’ve lost a few friends over COVID related stuff but earlier in the pandemic before vaccinating was happening and when we really didn’t know as much about transmission or risk.

My neighbour and I were very friendly pre COVID but seeing her completely disregard rules right from the first lockdown (her two teenagers had huge house parties while she went out drinking to her mates houses and visiting her boyfriend in another city.. she knew they were having the parties and didn’t care. Listening to her say she was on her way to visit her dad in a care home and her aunt in the cancer ward of a hospital on days I knew they’d had 15/20 people round the house the night before massively changed how I viewed her)
Another friend had classic symptoms and refused to be tested because if it came back positive she would have to keep her toddler at home instead of nursery and she didn’t want to be ‘stuck in the house with a three year old for two weeks’. She did however attend a pregnancy scan at the hospital while having symptoms because she didn’t want to have to wait to find out the babies gender. Her partner then tested positive during compulsory work testing. So she did bloody have COVID. And she chose to attend two hospital appointments, leave her kid in a nursery, visit a theme park, attend a child’s birthday party (which shouldn’t have even been going ahead rule-wise) visit family (she gave it to her parents but didn’t seem to care) all while she was quite open about the fact she knew it was probably COVID (lost sense of smell) but didn’t want to be tested (absolutely not because she could afford to isolate etc. Purely because she absolutely could not be bothered having her own kid at home for a fortnight).

I have chosen not to bother really making a fuss to people about stuff they have done because what difference would it make anyway. I also hated that I would immediately be branded a curtain twitcher or a sheeple. So I said nothing but I did hugely change how I saw them and have distanced myself since.

I think for me it just made me question their moral compass and rethink whether they are the sort of people I want to associate with.

Maybe that makes me a judgey bitch. But I just felt like there were probably many people who technically broke rules for reasons I wouldn’t judge personally. These types of people were very different and absolutely shocked me because I wouldn’t have seen it coming from them at all. I’m not sure I could ever look them in the eye with any respect again and I would always have that lingering weight of knowing they had chosen to be quite shitty people at a time when many others put themselves at such discomfort for the greater good.