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Covid

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Original poster

Would friends breaching restrictions stop/affect your friendship?

95 replies

Summerhere123 · 20/05/2021 15:37

Not asking whether you agree with them breaking restrictions or not I wish to know that if you don’t agree, would it affect or stop your friendship.
So, eg if 3 of your friends were travelling to a lower tier area when not supposed to, in order that they can have an overnight break, and they were fairly recent friendships, would it make you rethink the friendship. Basically folk I’ve known since school/ college etc wouldn’t do this, but those who are breaching restrictions are friendships from very recent years. I think it’s selfish as they could unknowingly be spreading the virus. It’s made me view them differently. Thanks

OP posts:

Buzzinwithbez · 21/05/2021 09:17

Nope. Just as lots of the things we did early on last year seem ludicrous now, I can imagine bearing a grudge for very long once we're through the other side of this and living normal lives again.

XenoBitch · 21/05/2021 11:57

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin

Nope but if one of my friends decided they weren’t going to have the vaccine then I’m not sure I could be friends with them anymore (other than if it was because of medical reasons)

They are not even breaking any rule by not having the vaccine. And since when is their medical decisions any of your business?

Thomasina2021 · 21/05/2021 11:59

Not exactly a friend in first place

Their choice , stop being a sheep ?

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 21/05/2021 12:03

@XenoBitch I did say except for medical reasons.

Otherwise I’m sorry but I’m going to judge you 🤷‍♀️

Schulte · 21/05/2021 12:06

The honest answer I think is that throughout the pandemic, lots of us have probably judged others' behaviour more, and been judged more in return. Everyone has had such different attitudes to the whole situation, from how much a risk Covid actually feels and how careful you need to be to how much people are willing to sacrifice to whether one should jump the queue for jabs with a mild lie... I was asked by a friend why the hell I hadn't had my jab yet when my age group had not even been called up yet! She was starting to think I must be anti vaxx and I had to explain to her that I was only waiting my turn.

Sure, my friends have done or said things that I haven't agreed with and I'm sure the same is true vice versa, but they are still my friends. We're all just having to be a lot more tolerant of each other.

Schulte · 21/05/2021 12:08

And I forgot the clapping. People were being judged for not being out there every Thursday with bells on and banging pans.

XenoBitch · 21/05/2021 12:20

[quote Allmyarseandpeggymartin]@XenoBitch I did say except for medical reasons.

Otherwise I’m sorry but I’m going to judge you 🤷‍♀️

We won’t get out of this mess without enough people vaccinated. Why are you (mythical friend because I don’t know anyone who has refused the vaccine) so special that you wouldn’t want to help the greater good?[/quote]
So you don't like these "friends" anyway, and are using the vaccine as a excuse to get rid of them. Just own it.
I can see why people lie to others about getting the vaccine... to avoid crap like this.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 21/05/2021 12:28

@XenoBitch I did say I actually don’t know anyone who has refused the vaccine so no need to “get rid of them”

Might be because I have a lot of friends who work in the medical/social professions and come into contact with vulnerable people?

But yeah I’d “own it” if I had to, I have no issues having honest conversations with my friends? Do you?

As for lying about it - there are bigger issues at hand if you have to lie to your friends surely?

ajmouse · 21/05/2021 12:29

To elaborate I'm definitely fine with using individual assessment of risk vs. rigid rules. Government near the start of the pandemic used a Tory favourite which I believe they call "nudge theory" where they try to steer people into being sensible rather than having rigid rules. They have needed to set more specific rules since, but have always subtly hinted (e.g. with the Cummings thing) that a certain amount of rule breaking is expected and baked into the modelling. They now put very tight rules (until Recent easing) knowing that realistically people will follow somewhere in the middle.

But yeah I even have friends with politics I disagree with! The horror!

littlepeas · 21/05/2021 12:33

No. I mindless rule followers far more irritating.

WouldBeGood · 21/05/2021 12:34

@littlepeas

No. I mindless rule followers far more irritating.

I’ve lost friends for this

littlepeas · 21/05/2021 12:37

wouldbegood because this is mumsnet I can't help but wonder whether you mean you've lost friends because they completely missed a word out of a sentence .

littlepeas · 21/05/2021 12:38

I FIND mindless rule followers far more irritating!

WouldBeGood · 21/05/2021 12:44

😂

Waiting423 · 21/05/2021 12:50

If asked I’d probably say we’d largely followed the rules - but if I think about it carefully then from time to time we’ve made our own risk assessments … been outside more than we should be or met more than six people . I think a lot of people have done the same . The only people I’ve judged are those who have been hypocritical or blatantly careless… I’ve kept my feelings to myself .

osbertthesyrianhamster · 21/05/2021 12:51

No, it wouldn't. I'm done with this shit and all I know are, too. We've all been vaccinated twice, too. Life needs to move on.

shouldistop · 21/05/2021 12:53

Anti vaxxers and people who don't isolate when they have COVID would lose my respect.
Any other restrictions? No?

JustABloodyMinute · 23/05/2021 18:41

I won't lose friendships over it, although I do see people in a different light. I will absolutely judge someone who has done their own "risk assessment" and taken lots of unnecessary risks resulting in my kids getting sent home from school again when their bubbles burst.

kowari · 23/05/2021 18:49

Low level rule breaking, such as 7 or 8 people inside when the rule is 6, or meeting grandparents inside a week or two 'early' when it's pouring with rain and an occasion like a child's birthday, I wouldn't judge anyone for. If it's completely taking the piss and not in the spirit of the rules at that time, like six single friends meeting for a party inside in lockdown one, that might change how I felt about that person.

PetraRabbit · 23/05/2021 22:46

I wouldn't lose a friend over it, no.

I've been out and about as much as legally possible throughout this whole period, pushed the boundaries maybe. I have young healthy non-vulnerable friends who have basically locked their babies/pre-school children inside with no outside social contact even during the lockdown respite times for 15 months now. I find this appalling and worrying for their development, and I could defriend them over it as ' not responsible people', but at the end of the day they are good people who are frightened and don't need to be demonised. I'm sure they think me taking my children to soft play is terribly risky and my children might die, but it seems we've made a choice to respect and continue the friendship. It's a divisive time of strain but I'd caution against losing good friends over this. If you lost every friend who had a different view on Brexit or religion or whatever, you would eventually be very lonely.

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