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Original poster

Support thread for those with family abroad

838 replies

Schulte · 20/05/2021 10:12

Anyone interested in a support thread for those of us who have family abroad, and don't know if we can see them this year? I had started to feel all positive and optimistic about going back to my home country this summer to see my parents, but it's now looking far from certain and I'm feeling increasingly depressed.

I thought maybe we can cheer each other up and share the latest on border openings, how and where to get tests for travel, etc.

Anyone?

OP posts:
QuentininQuarantino · 21/05/2021 20:20

Just having a little cry and gin and tonic this evening and thought I’d tell you all about it!

Like Lostinacloud I’m so very angry about it all. Trying to stay positive, we have health and jobs and a home which is more than many, but I can’t get over the jealousy of the big family get togethers and the ache of missing my grandmother so much.

Cheers Gin to all of you xxx

fiveminutebreak · 21/05/2021 20:27

We are the family abroad. We do however have plans to come back to the UK this summer, in spite of the testing and quarantining requirements! We're both fully vaccinated so I feel quite frustrated that we still have to quarantine, especially as there has been research recently that shows the chances of a vaccinated person transmitting the virus is virtually non-existent. And when we return to the US - no quarantine required!

I'm not hopeful the US will be on the green list any time soon, even though the situation here is becoming more and more positive.

And we have a plan A and a plan B for our return to the US. If the US borders are still closed to non-US citizens / residents, then we have flights reserved to go via a third country in the Caribbean. So I'm in the very weird position of both wanting the border restrictions to be lifted but also I will feel a bit gutted if we are not forced to go to the Caribbean for 2 weeks! (will cost us a bloody fortune though). I do think the border will probably open in July though.

LivinLaVidaLoki · 21/05/2021 20:30

What a lot of people (including DH) don't seem to understand that it's not a frivolous holiday. Half of the DD's identity is being taken away from them if they can't spend time in their other country

This! Absolutely. Can I join this thread? I am greek (though lived in the UK most of my life) most of my family are in Greece. Since my parents died my godparents have become almost surrogate parents and I miss them dearly.

And as I've got older I've accepted my culture and my faith into my life that I wish I had when I was younger. My culture and my heritage are very important to me. My dh is English and so I feel its so important for my son to understand that part of his heritage. His culture and his family.

Does that make sense, sorry if its a bit rambly.

Original poster
Schulte · 21/05/2021 20:36

Perfect sense! It’s so important to cultivate that other nationality (or other two, three, four, depending on your family).

Quarantine in the Caribbean doesn’t sound all that bad Wink but it’s probably a logistical nightmare too?

OP posts:
Mumof3girlsandaboy · 21/05/2021 20:44

Thanks for the thread OP. My husband works abroad in the island few hours away from Australia and we haven’t seen him for 16months and just hoping to see him this year summer and this is the longest time he has been away from me and the children. He managed to get one dose of vaccine over there and he is due to get the next one end of June.

LivinLaVidaLoki · 21/05/2021 20:45

@Mumof3girlsandaboy Thanks

fiveminutebreak · 21/05/2021 21:07

@Mumof3girlsandaboy that is so hard for you. I'm so sorry. Flowers

FoolsAssassin · 21/05/2021 21:07

Just coming in to say hello. I have a Brother in Asia and haven’t ever met my niece and nephew, the elder one is 6 now and I really worry they will never meet their Grandad here in the U.K. who is mid 80’s now.

Also have family in Germany. As I was leaving after visiting in July 2019 my Aunt cried. I naively thought I would see her in 2020, now I wonder if I will see her again, I can see her getting frailer in pictures and she is the last of 3 sisters. Made some Reibekuchen the other day to cheer myself up. My Mum died a few years ago and we haven’t got her ashes back home as we promised, have repatriated them from Asia but need to sort the final leg of the journey . Given up this year and hoping for next.

FoolsAssassin · 21/05/2021 21:08

Mumof3girlsandaboy 💐

Mumof3girlsandaboy · 21/05/2021 21:32

Thanks a lot guys. It’s been really hard and I’m just lucky I have a good support from my local church and friends.

Original poster
Schulte · 22/05/2021 08:50

Really bad news for us this morning - Germany has now pretty much put the UK on its own amber/red list due to the Indian variant. If it stays there, DH isn’t allowed into the country and the rest of us will have to isolate for a full two weeks. Which makes the trip almost impossible. Sad

OP posts:
Frequentflier · 22/05/2021 08:53

Oh no @Schulte. I have just stopped checking everything about India. It is the world's pariah now.I don't know when things will improve.

I wonder if we will get to a point where people just stop worrying about variants and push on with vaccination. There is a Yorkshire variant now, after all, so variants will continue to arise. I am no epidemiologist though, so I do not know.

YellowScallion · 22/05/2021 08:53

That rules out the ferry option for us then, unless there are different rules for transit?

YellowScallion · 22/05/2021 08:59

I've just read the latest advice and I can't go to Denmark anyway. Last year, I could go as the partner of a Danish citizen (we had to take our mortgage statement as proof). That exemption doesn't seem to exist this year.

YellowScallion · 22/05/2021 09:00

Ah no, I could. It's under the worthy purpose rules :-) I could enter as long as travelling together

theadultsaretalking · 22/05/2021 09:04

Just heard about Germany, not good :(, we’ve got a ferry booked for the 5th July. I am really really hoping it will get sorted for the Euro..

Original poster
Schulte · 22/05/2021 09:31

Just read a bit more about it and DH is allowed as long as he’s travelling with us. What I can’t work out is whether we would be allowed to quarantine at my parents’. I guess they would then also have to quarantine with us and nobody would be allowed to leave the house for two weeks?

@YellowScallion you can travel THROUGH Germany. You will probably need to show a negative test but no quarantine required as long as you travel through the country directly without stopping overnight.

OP posts:
Original poster
Schulte · 22/05/2021 09:34

I agree, this obsession with variants has to stop or the pandemic will never end. There will always be variants. What’s the point in vaccinating everybody if the draconian rules remain?

OP posts:
YellowScallion · 22/05/2021 09:47

What’s the point in vaccinating everybody if the draconian rules remain?

It's not even draconian rules remaining, they're making the rules more draconian.

olivesnutsandcheeseplease · 22/05/2021 11:18

My sister is in a amber country and DM has just been diagnosed with cancer. Trying to decide if DS can come back quickly to see DM before the treatment starts as we can't afford an infection risk once it has started.
But she'd have to do 10 days quarantine with DM or do a test on day 5 but if it was positive then it might push back DMs treatment. So hard to know what to do

HarveySchlumpfenburger · 22/05/2021 11:52

I think the variants will be less of an issue once a higher proportion of the population is vaccinated.
Tough for those of you with German connections though. I’m worried home might do the same.

Is there no chance at all of your sis being able to quarantine somewhere else, olives

olivesnutsandcheeseplease · 22/05/2021 15:33

@RafaIsTheKingOfClay she could quarantine with me but then DM wouldn't get to see her for the first 5 days. Then if she did test positive I would need to quarantine too and I'm the one that needs to help her as she is widowed 😔.

Welikebeingcosy · 22/05/2021 16:02

Feel bad for my dd's dad he hasnt seen her since summer 2019 when I brought her home as a newborn. I was planning to travel straight back once I was settled in my place here for them to have contact but covid stopped that. It's alright at the moment because she's too young to know but as this progresses she is getting older and older. Have also looked into the Mexico option (also to get my visa as the usa embassy has no appointments here) but I'm just too drained to travel alone to a country where I have few friends with a toddler.

BritWifeinUSA · 22/05/2021 18:09

I’m the family abroad. Still hopeful my mother will get here in September. I’m married to an American and now have dual citizenship US and UK so I could travel to the UK because I would be able to return directly to the US (Pres Proc doesn’t apply to US citizens) but I can’t visit my mother because she lives in a block of flats that’s exclusively for over 60s. It’s a tiny 1-bedroom flat. The management have banned all overnight visitors because they have had some COVID deaths amongst the residents. So I would have to do my quarantining in a hotel and wouldn’t be able to see my mum so there’s no point.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 22/05/2021 18:22

I really don't understand the disparity between countries in Europe when I thought the EU were supposed to be meeting to agree a common policy. Portugal = PCR test, Spain = No Requirements, Germany = No entry due to variants. So much for having to leave the EU in order to have sovereignty and control over the borders Wink