Support thread for those with family abroad

[Schulte]

Anyone interested in a support thread for those of us who have family abroad, and don't know if we can see them this year? I had started to feel all positive and optimistic about going back to my home country this summer to see my parents, but it's now looking far from certain and I'm feeling increasingly depressed.

I thought maybe we can cheer each other up and share the latest on border openings, how and where to get tests for travel, etc.

Anyone?

Thank you for starting this thread.

We have bought tickets for the summer. Again. Fingers crossed 🤞
It has been 18 months since I last saw my Mom.

Is yours an Amber country? DH is furious about the 1.5k or so that we may have to spend on 4 tests each for the four of us. I can't work out whether an LFT is acceptable for the return journey!

My family is in India:) I did a separate support thread. I think I may be tarred and feathered if I attempt to see them this year, even though they are v much in need of my support. I am lucky to be able to afford the quarantine fees and testing ( over 2 k) , though it means no "holidays" for a year. I will have to go if my mom falls ill.

Hello! We’re the family abroad. We have nobody here and it’s been so hard, especially now seeing all the big family garden parties splashed all over social media. And (amber list!) I refuse to pay 1.5k to Boris’ cronies for tests when I’m vaccinated anyway so probably not going home this summer.

I’m really worried about the long term impact on my dc not seeing their gps for coming on two years now. I don’t know if it’ll be reparable. They don’t know each other.

I will join in as well! My country is on amber list , hope for it to change to green at some point this summer and we are thinking of driving over there rather than flying though!

Yes, we are amber. Our trip might fall down on reciprocity. If the UK expects visitors to quarantine here, we will have to do the same there. We cannot afford the time it requires.
I am hoping borders will open for EURO 2020. Shallow, I know.

It's so hard, isn't it? Our annual trips were so important to us and the DDs are really suffering because they love spending the summer with the grandparents, and we couldn't go last year either. We COULD have gone but DH felt it wasn't safe and now I'm kicking myself.

What a lot of people (including DH) don't seem to understand that it's not a frivolous holiday. Half of the DD's identity is being taken away from them if they can't spend time in their other country. I need the reboot for my mental health, after so many years in the UK I still feel like a stranger who doesn't belong. My parents are so lonely and missing us, and they are very old and becoming frail, really every moment I can spend with them counts.

For those with family even further away - India, for example - I really don't know how you cope!

Same here - both sets of parents in different countries - one in Europe, one outside. Haven't seen my mum for nearly two years.

At the moment not even clear when or how we can get anywhere and how much it will cost. Saying that, mum is in her 80s and is deteriorating, so this could be the last time my kids can have a meaningful visit, so I guess, I'll just have to pay whatever it costs.
Brexit is also not helping!

When I hear people calling for border closures, I just want to scream!

But... variants and.. it’s our fault for moving abroad anyway, we should have expected brexit and a global pandemic!!

We we're booked to go to New Zealand last year (booked before covid) for my FIL 80th. No idea when we'll be able to travel to see them. Covid has really opened our eyes to everything we once took for granted 😢

I am going. My country is amber now but there is a possibility that it will become green. Anyway even if it's amber I can quarantine ten days after coming back.

I am in NZ, no idea when I will get the vaccine. We are miles behind with the vaccination programme, compared to other countries, which is really odd as we have had so much time to get organised. My Mum will be 91 this month and I have already missed her 90th last year. I am so afraid that something will happen to her before I am able to travel.

I am an only child and have always travelled back to UK three or four times a year and it never occurred to me that one day I would not be able to return - it is tough, but it is what it is and at least we are all fit and well. My Mum has been amazing through this and I am full of admiration for her courage as she has dealt with the isolation over the last year.

I am hoping to return in August/September and so looking forward to seeing Lancashire again - and I never thought I would be saying that!!

‘When I hear people calling for border closures, I just want to scream!‘

Me too! I mean with all the tests, quarantining and the cost of it, surely travelling will be so unpleasant that only those of us who really need to will do it? I honestly don't care how much it costs at this point.

Im abroad with parents and siblings in the UK. I havent seen them for 17 months. Im right at the edge of just jumping on a plane next week and quarantining at my parents house (so at least I can see them) but will probably wait a couple more weeks to see if they bring in vaccine passports as I am fully vaccinated.

I just wish they would hurry up, what was the point in rushing to vaccinate us all if it doesnt make a difference to what we can do.

In the US its changing. I was actually able to go into a shop yesterday without a mask for the first time in over a year. It felt euphoric and strange at the same time. I saw a couple of other unmasked people and we just grinned at each other like loons.

I have spent a lot of time away from my home country. Expat since the age of 4. ( hence my username). Just got used to the calls for border closures now. I hate to use the over used term "new normal" but it is a new normal, and I am just going to HAVE to cope, because there is no other option. My mom will not be helped by me going to pieces. DH's parents also v old and frail.

I haven't seen my sister, my only sibling, for nearly 2 years, because she is in the States. I have just become very stoic now because that is the only way I can get through the day.

I have also started spending way too much time on MN as a coping mechanism. If you have seen my name way too many times on this board, it is because I am trying to work off my nervous energy and anxiety.

@Frequentflier

I have spent a lot of time away from my home country. Expat since the age of 4. ( hence my username). Just got used to the calls for border closures now. I hate to use the over used term "new normal" but it is a new normal, and I am just going to HAVE to cope, because there is no other option. My mom will not be helped by me going to pieces. DH's parents also v old and frail.

I haven't seen my sister, my only sibling, for nearly 2 years, because she is in the States. I have just become very stoic now because that is the only way I can get through the day.

I am refusing to accept the 'new normal' - I think I am still at the denial stage!

DS is also missing his trips to Europe. But mainly the sun and lidos.

I miss my family and friends. ❤

If the worst comes to the worst, we will say we are visiting our property. It is true. I wanted to sell it last year, but obviously could not. I have no clue what state it is in.
Also there is so much life admin to do. Phones and bank accounts require regular face-to-face visits there, and there is no flexibility. 🤦‍♀️ I have lost my local phone number and cannot access my bank account. They keep saying 'Just come in person.' Sure. If it was so easy!

I'm a Brit living in a red list country too. I'm just hoping that we can get back somehow. Especially since DH and I have been fully vaccinated since February. It seems daft to keep us out.

Yup - we are the family abroad. Missing everyone so much.

Was thinking I may have to make some medical appointments for all of us back home so I have a pressing reason to travel! What's really gutting is that there is a lot more movement on the continent, even across borders, only we UK residents seem stuck.

Does ANYONE know if LFTs will be accepted for a return to the UK? There was an article in the newspaper where a reporter flew back from Portugal after a negative LFT test - which he had taken under supervision via video call... wonder if this works for amber countries too? Would save us so much money!

Thank you OP. Dad going into a third wave. Lockdown and overnight curfew. Death rates up and no vaccines yet. Were expecting borders to open in 2022 before the third wave hit. Also having my first baby so it's hard knowing our baby might never meet his granddad. I'm very concerned he might die and we have discussed repatriation of his body if need be.

We haven't seen FIL and Step MIL for about 2 years now. DH had wanted to go this autumn as they are unlikely to want to fly here (both vaccinated, but getting on a bit now), but I'm now pregnant and due in October so that is looking increasingly unlikely now (saves us a fair whack of money though). We try to FaceTime weekly but it isn't the same and I worry for all the grandchildren stuck this side of the ocean. We just count ourselves fortunate that the remainder of our respective families are her in the UK (albeit several hours drive from us, so also unseen during each lockdown).

Thank you for this thread. My home country is on amber list. I have tickets for August( moved from April 20) and was very hopeful, but with situation continuously changing- not so hopeful anymore. Miss my brother and father, and can afford to pay for all the test, but really scared to get stuck there if country goes on red list. I know there are people in much worse situation than me, so trying to stay positive.

@schulte Tests for returning to England from amber countries

Before boarding your flight home you can use PCR or LFT test as of as they meet the standards required, but you are not allowed to use NHS tests abroad. www.gov.uk/guidance/coronavirus-covid-19-testing-for-people-travelling-to-england

Once you are in England you either use NHS to test on days 2 and 8 and fully quarantine for 10 days; or pay a private provider for Test to Release on day 5.
www.gov.uk/guidance/how-to-quarantine-when-you-arrive-in-england#testing-in-quarantine