Cheese in coffee/ mild meats (?) thread..

[Wilkolampshade]

Hi all,
Could some kind soul please link to the thread, it'll be from this time last year I guess, where someone posted about using cheese in coffee as a substitute for milk and I'm sure, also suggested we only buy 'mild meats' as others weren't essential?
I'm not making this up... am I?
I've tried to explain to family members but they've all been a bit

We clearly see things through our own lens. I'm CEV, so I've found the disablist narrative of the past year or so particularly difficult, just as you say you've found discussions around masks difficult. This narrative, though, would have shut me and others like me away while everyone else supposedly lived their lives; or sacrificed me for the greater good so the children could get their education back on track. I'm not even old by any means. I knew it wasn't personal, but it did hurt to know that some people really did feel that way. And without exception, these people are ADs.

[quote Flaxmeadow]

[/quote] I'm not sure I follow - are you saying I wasn't called a cunt? Apologies if you're not! I'd link to the post but I reported it and it was deleted.

I don't remember anyone being called a cunt, though

That expletive, and the T name, is being used on this thread.

A new and strange one, is that the so called dementors have been sitting around knitting. Yes knitting!. Not sure what this is a reference to. The Reign of Terror maybe, who knows. Which would be ironic

I've had a look at the AD threads and they seem to go something like this

'I bought a new lipstick yesterday and gave a masked dementor a dirty look, hahaha that showed them'
I need fish and chips now'
'I killed another granny this morning hehehe'
'I need more chocolate, wine, biscuits..'
'Dementor thread dementor thread happening on the corona board'
'My special shortbread biscuits have run out...aw hun
'..dementors, the dementors are out to get us'
'Chocolate give me chocolate'

Ad infinitum

I'm not sure I follow - are you saying I wasn't called a cunt?

No it wasn't aimed at you. Just a general comment on the thread topic and whether ot not the cheese in coffee thing was ever said

I remember a thread where someone referred to pensioners who went to the shop every day for a paper as “selfish cunts”.

Appalling.

@Flaxmeadow

I don't remember anyone being called a cunt, though

That expletive, and the T name, is being used on this thread.

A new and strange one, is that the so called dementors have been sitting around knitting. Yes knitting!. Not sure what this is a reference to. The Reign of Terror maybe, who knows. Which would be ironic

I've had a look at the AD threads and they seem to go something like this

'I bought a new lipstick yesterday and gave a masked dementor a dirty look, hahaha that showed them'
I need fish and chips now'
'I killed another granny this morning hehehe'
'I need more chocolate, wine, biscuits..'
'Dementor thread dementor thread happening on the corona board'
'My special shortbread biscuits have run out...aw hun
'..dementors, the dementors are out to get us'
'Chocolate give me chocolate'

Ad infinitum

Perhaps hide those threads if they bother you. People have different coping mechanisms - minimising is one of them.

And to be fair chocolate is pretty essential

You don't see this level of people making up their own versions of 'the rules' and haranguing others for not following their own special lockdown anymore

But they aren't haranguing. Its the other way around

Poster 1 posts a comment, any comment, as people do on a discussion forum. Then a group (who have labelled themselves 'the anti dementors') will bombard them with accusations and name calling. Its the anti dementors who have reacted, taken offence and decided to attack. The unaware and innocent poster 1 is not aware of what's happening, well not at first

Perhaps hide those threads if they bother you.

I've only just become aware of them as an actual thing. I was directed to them by another poster last night. I've probably seen them before but I wasn't aware they are so organised and consistent. I didnt know there was a long running series of 40 page threads dedicated to being 'anti dementor'.

People have different coping mechanisms - minimising is one of them

Yes. As i said before, everyone copes differently. It's just the 'anti dementor' thing seems to be about name calling

And to be fair chocolate is pretty essential

Or is it

Crikey...just got home from work to see all this!
Seems I'm not alone in any of it.
Apart from the 'mild meats' though.

@Flaxmeadow

This is where a poster mentioned bullying

The (mythical) 'cheese in coffee" trope is still being used to ridicule posters though isn't it? Along with other name calling like 'dementor', 'frother' etc

Infact there used to be whole threads dedicated to laughing at, and ridiculing posters as dementors. Childish and sarcastic type posts along the lines of 'I killed someone today when I went to buy choclate'. There were whole threads dedicated to this type of inane banter. Fair enough if it gets people through the day, whatever, but at its core is a gang mentality nastiness

This. As well as imagining that everyone even slightly following the rules is actually quaking with fear

I think you might have dreamed the 'mild meats' Wilkolampshade

I guess we all remember best the things that upset us the most. For me it was the posters judging and being nasty about people finding lockdown hard or doing innocuous things at a time when I was already really struggling with the situation. For posters like TheClaws and Flaxmeadow it was/is people mocking anyone they see as overly anxious and acting like vulnerable people's lives don't matter. And people's memories of traumatic events are notoriously unreliable anyway. That's why I think it's so important to preserve the old threads, so there's something objective to reference when things get unintentionally distorted by our non-neutral recall.

A new and strange one, is that the so called dementors have been sitting around knitting. Yes knitting!. Not sure what this is a reference to. The Reign of Terror maybe, who knows. Which would be ironic

Presumably the Tricoteuse. Funnily enough someone actually called posters who want Prince Andrew to cooperate with the FBI investigation "Tricoteuse" the other day. Perhaps it's catching.

But surely it's up to the accusers to provide evidence of it being said, but they never do.
That's a slightly over-dramatic way to refer to posters on Mumsnet taking the piss out of other posters on Mumsnet.

OK let's call it telling people off, suggesting to them they've been breaking the law or guilt tripping them when they haven't done anything wrong. I'd say several of these examples definitely veer into what I'd call haranguing, though. All about 2 brothers with no garden at home kicking a football in an open space in a park for an hour, i.e. exercising with a member of their household, away from other people, a situation that was unambiguously within both the letter and spirit of the law. But which may slightly have conflicted with a comment made by Michael Gove.

• this is not a holiday. It’s a lockdown. Again this is why we are in this situation because people flout the rules for their own means.

• It's so frustrating that people STILL don't understand the rules. They are really clear to me. Playing football is not a necessity. So no they can't do it.

• We need to fully cooperate and not try to stretch the rules to the maximum, or look for loopholes. Otherwise - apart from the tragedy of deaths - the economy will go even further down the toilet

• It's driving me mad to keep reading "can I just...after all, it's no worse than going for a walk, I won't see anyone, touch anything, talk to anyone

• Definately not. The virus lives on surfaces for up to 3 days... Hence no parks allowed. It encourages the spread of the virus.

• I've just been sent a video, made by a local undertaker showing a temporary morgue being built at the local crematorium. It can hold 1600 bodies. I live in an outer London borough with 250,000 people, yet they are building a mortuary that can hold 1600 bodies at a time. That's why we shouldn't be encouraging people to go out and play football or lark around at the park.

• Stop being a Covidiot and stop letting your children out unsupervised to play games at the park.

• Sadia Khan has just announced the temporary morgues that he's building around London - why aren't people scared about this? Why is it that going to the park is more important than hundreds of people dying or thousands of people having their lives turned upside down?

• No u cant go out and play football etc another poster was right its just walking jogging etc not go playing games.if u want to play do it in your own garden not hard ,we have the easy job STAY AT HOME

As I say, though, this was from March 2020 and things have calmed down considerably now. Those early days tensions were running high, for sure. I didn't see anyone shouting to STAY AT HOME in the last 'lockdown'.

"I've had a look at the AD threads and they seem to go something like this

'I bought a new lipstick yesterday and gave a masked dementor a dirty look, hahaha that showed them'
I need fish and chips now'
'I killed another granny this morning hehehe'
'I need more chocolate, wine, biscuits..'
'Dementor thread dementor thread happening on the corona board'
'My special shortbread biscuits have run out...aw hun
'..dementors, the dementors are out to get us'
'Chocolate give me chocolate'"

@Flaxmeadow
So you have gone from not knowing what an AD is in the early hours of this morning to reading loads of threads so you can make these claims which you havent backed up with links Thats a lot of reading in less than twelve hours after you not knowing what an AD is.

Fat shaming? @Juliettbravo

Like this
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3897242-Fat-people-even-more-likely-to-be-affected-by-COVID-than-previously-thought

I think you're right @psychomath

@MercyBooth or whatever you are called there were loads of nasty comments suggesting that lockdown was purely to protect the frail and vulnerable and was damaging the life chances of the young. The fact that obesity was listed as a risk factor gave people even more ammunition to attack them and blame them for poor lifestyle choices.

@Juliettbravo I know. Those threads were on THIS board Another thing that led to me starting to post on the AD threads. Ive been comfort eating to deal with the restrictions and gained weight and on the AD threads i got empathy and support.

I didn’t take part in many threads in the initial lockdown but it’s important to note that there were some authorities with actual enforcement power who were being extremely draconian in their interpretation of COVID rules. Just a couple of examples off the top of my head (and not all from the initial lockdown):

— police threatening to look in trolleys to ensure all items were “essential”
— supermarkets in Wales barricading away “non-essential” items (including, for a time, sanpro)
— police fining two women out walking because they were holding cups of (legally acquired) takeaway coffee

And those are just examples in the good old reasonable U.K. Places like Spain caged kids in flats for months; in France you really would be fined for sitting on a park bench.

Is it really any wonder people went a little bonkers - or demented - in their expectations of compliance?

I think the stuff being levelled at the ADs is unfair.

I can't honestly say no one has ever said anything that upset anyone, I'm not on here constantly and have barely posted, but the way I see it, any criticism is aimed at "dementors" - those who deliberately depress/upset others, make them feel guilty for doing something perfectly legal and/or not even that risky, destroy their hopes for the future ("things are never going back to normal"). Or basically implying that anyone struggling - with mental health, not seeing family/friends, worried about redundancy/future etc - was a weak, feeble whinger who just wanted to selfishly break rules, spread virus everywhere and get pissed in the pub with no care as to who died, "you'd never have coped in wartime like our grandparents", "it's not hard, you're only being asked to sit on the sofa", "you're upset/worried/stressed? Least you're not in ICU or DEAD!" This isn't the same as "someone nervous about the virus". Some can be both, but not everyone cautious or worried about the virus is a dementor.

I say this as someone who IS scared of catching the virus, mainly because I am scared of passing it on and being "to blame" for someone's serious illness or death. Mainly due to some of the hysterical stuff on here, and on Facebook and Twitter. It's taken its toll on my mental health. I follow the rules. (And so do most ADs). But I identify with the anti-dementors because I don't want a single other person to feel as anxious as I do, stressing over stuff and worrying they'll develop symptoms, not being able to enjoy life without this constant worry, too nervous to do stuff, sanitising stuff... At the beginning, posts made me feel guilty for going for a walk or shopping once a week! I don't want others to feel guilty for stuff that is perfectly legal. And even if people "break the rules" I don't think we should rush to judge and condemn. We don't always know the facts. I read the AD threads because they understood and hated the horrible judginess and doom-projections too.

I'm glad to see the links because people forget what it was like last year, the things people said and did. There has been a lot of rewriting history. But people did say some of these things. I understand many were scared but it DID happen. Even the government - the whole "look them in the eyes"/"if you go out, people will die", and the media with the photos of people in parks plastered in the papers like they were doing something terrible... The knock-on effect is that some people will be nervous to get back to a life they are desperately, desperately missing. And there is a reason for that. The accusatory and/or fear-inducing stuff can cause real damage to some.

Some day we'll get to the point when this is an unpleasant memory. By then, everyone will be judging/arguing over something else!

@TheAnswerTo you sum up pretty much exactly what I feel.

'Some day we'll get to the point when this is an unpleasant memory. By then, everyone will be judging/arguing over something else!'

And won't that make a pleasant change.

Read some of the responses on this thread:

Refusing to go out until zero covid www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/4217421-Refusing-to-go-out-until-zero-covid

They are sickening. I found them especially ironic given how mental health is favourite topic of ADs; but as soon as that mental health appears to be a result of fear of emerging from lockdown, oh no. These lives here don't matter.

Well one of the more vocal ADs has apparently been banned. She/he has said they are moving to some kind of lockdown sceptic website. How ironic

Well that's an interesting thing @Julietbravo. Reading back these responses, and I am making a general point here, I have been struck by how reductive and simplistic it is to label things either only D and A D. Plenty of those who find themselves labelled as such have a specific nuances to their position which don't really fit within the stereotype.
I have a feeling you would consider me an AD for example, (my genuine apologies is that is incorrect) but I've worn my mask dutifully, happily in fact, shopped on my own, and haven't seen my poor, poor old dad since Xmas 2019. I believe the lockdowns have worked in large part, though this reduces daily as confidence returns because of the vaccine. I can also see that positions change as the pandemic waxes and wanes. But at the same time I remember being relieved to find the AD threads and see I wasn't the only person to feel boggled by the interpretation by some of 'the roolz'.
I think some people have concluded that there was a gleefulness about the AD'S which they found uncomfortable? When people posted about 'granny killing' or buying their 'essential chocolate' I always took it as an attempt at graveyard humour at a very difficult time, one which often was a direct response to people labelling perfectly normal and legal activities, ie, walking, sitting, shopping etc as 'selfish' and illegal.
We are left in a place which has some horribly damaged individuals. I myself am finding it harder than I thought I would to emerge, even though I've kept out in the world by volunteering outside of the home.
My two student kids have made enormous sacrifices. One is leaving uni this year and has no idea how she'll find employment in the current situation. The return to normality, whatever shape that now is, will be grim for many of us.
Best of luck everyone.