Refusing to go out until zero covid

[IrmaFayLear]

Bil and sil have not been out since March 2020. They wfh, in 50s with no health conditions at all. They have both been fully vaccinated - two doses (sil’s best friend is a GP ). Dh was speaking to bil yesterday and he said it’s not safe until cases are zero worldwide, and that because they care so much about each other (!) they have decided that they cannot take any risk.

Are there many people like this? I was in the shielding category and although I have been ultra cautious, I have still gone for walks, dashed into the chemist in a hazmat suit etc etc. I wonder if they are extreme outliers or whether there will be more recluses now, feeling fully justified.

It would be nice if they could just be honest about it though. Rather than feeling entitled to sneer at others.

They are not necessarily sneering at other people for going out. They may just not get the fact that it's a big deal for a lot of people and most people are willing to take a certain amount of risk for that reason.

@Foxygruffalo

I’ve got a friend whose DH has type 1 diabetes (he’s early 40s, white, normal weight, well controlled diabetes etc so didn’t even come under shielding). He is so petrified that they haven’t left the house since November apart from to have his vaccine (and even before that only a couple of times over the summer for walks in secluded places). The kids haven’t been to school since March last year and he won’t even let them go for a walk any more; they are only allowed in their small garden. They still quarantine all their packages and scrub down the groceries. I can’t make her see any sense that her DH is behaving irrationally. 😫

@Foxygruffalo

It really doesn't matter how 'well controlled' your diabetes is on a day to day basis. Or as a diabetic if you're white/good weight etc

Covid, being a virus, could easily send his blood sugars into orbit. Just being in hospital ordinarily can cause huge problems.

The original shielding list was done quickly & before they knew who was actually at risk.

I was very careful from the beginning, but didn't shield as I was still going out for walks etc (being careful re time/route etc) But I knew I was very vulnerable, so I was incredibly careful. When they reassessed who was actually dying from Covid I (& other diabetics) was/were put on the shielding list, I didn't bother to tell anyone because it didn't change anything for me and it was due to end 31 March anyway.

I do a job where if I didn't do it, I'd need to be replaced immediately, some of it involves driving teenagers around (1at a time). Due to them doing online learning, it was 3 weeks I'd be with them (when they returned to in person schooling) before the Easter Break, so I said nothing at work & just took all possible precautions.

I still quarantine/wash my shopping (depending what it is) It doesn't take long and it means that inside my home I can totally relax.

Your friends DH is being even more cautious (no going for walks & keeping the kids off school) but I don't think he's being irrational.

As a diabetic there is a very high chance of dying/long life changing Covid.

I understand your frustration if it's preventing you seeing your friend or feeling like she's being controlled. Maybe when we get some warmer weather he'll be happier for you to visit in the garden & the kids to go to the park etc.

@GrandDuchessRomanov

if they have'nt been out how did they get their jabs?

Good point! They obviously do go out if they need to.

we are the worst of any of our friends and family-two of the kids have horrendous asthma, dh is severely immunocompromised (has no immune system really) and I had/have long covid. We haven't been out except for a walk every few weeks and we still do just a weekly shopping. Saying that it's because we have a huge garden and everything we need inside (got a foosball table and air hockey table at the start of lockdown) and now numbers have gone down today our children went back to school and we have plans because our 5k limit has been lifted and once we get the vaccine we will properly be out and about. I know my friends think we're nuts but they live in towns or estates. It's so different when you're out in the middle of nowhere and you literally can't go for a walk without getting killed! I'd say in the extreme minority

It sounds like a massive over reaction for two healthy people who have been vaccinated. The risks of depression from being stuck indoors or deteriorating health due to lack of exercise pose a far greater risk to them than covid.

"I don't have any sympathy for people like this. Their irrational behaviours and inability to assess risk have contributed to keeping the rest of us locked up."

Rubbish.
Scientific advice has recommended the lockdowns (and if we'd done them much quicker and much harder then we never would have needed as many or for as long).

If they're vaccinated with both shots and still don't want to go anywhere then it's either - their choice and they're happy, or they are struggling with anxieties. Or they've overstated it, and they're waiting for more of the population in the UK to get vaccinated. In any of those cases, that's not harming anyone else.

I've only been out a few times (to supermarket/nearby shop/medical appointments and for regular walks) in the last year and a bit, and we're still waiting for vaccines in our household, so we're not going to be going anywhere that's not essential until after the second one.
I do have anxiety, but under these circumstances, don't think it's unreasonable to be careful for a bit longer. I would be gutted, after being so careful for so long, to go down with it just before vaccines are available.

I know that it's extremely unlikely for non-vulnerable people to die, but I know enough from a couple of people I've known with chronic illness/CFS that I do want to avoid getting long Covid if at all possible, and that is a fair risk if you catch it.

Zero worldwide is quite extreme. I bet they didn't hide at home during the last two widespread epidemics that didn't reach us.

So when did personal choice automatically become ‘mental illness’?

@PurpleRainDancer if people are making bizarre choices like this then it certainly could suggest MH issues.

Hardly surprising that many people are thinking like this given that the messaging over the last year is DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE OR YOU WILL DIE.

Mental health has taken a battering for many people and resuming normal life is scary for them. My PIL are the same, they are terrified to leave the house.

Wow @Foxygruffalo that seems actually quite abusive to the children, only allowing them in a small garden! How are they getting enough exercise? Are you concerned for their welfare?

Utter madness !! did the GP friend not try to talk some sense into them?

@PurpleRainDancer

So when did personal choice automatically become ‘mental illness’?

Because very few mentally healthy people choose to not leave their house for over 12 months.

@PurpleRainDancer

So when did personal choice automatically become ‘mental illness’?

Zero covid globally doesn’t appear a completely logical, healthy stance does it?

Not all people who drink alcohol are alcoholics but all alcoholics drink alcohol. It’s the extremes that raise concerns about mental health.

I know a couple of people like this and it's extremely worrying. They are early 40s, slim, healthy. Cases are so low now, 11 per 100,000 people where I live.

I must admit I have barely been out. I’ve been to the hospital, and nipped into the chemist and the garden centre. I know I’d be toast if I caught covid but after two vaccinations and with low case numbers I am going to gird my loins and re-enter society! I think bil did unsettle dh a bit though and he was busy quarantining post again this morning...

My SiL and BiL are like this too. They won’t go out until the UK is Covid free.

No underlying health conditions (that we know of), he’s early 50s, she’s just turned 40.

They are going out for walks, but go really late at night when there are less people are around. They run a business together working from home and get everything delivered. They desperately need some maintenance work done on their house but won’t allow anyone in, they won’t meet with anyone outside, won’t have takeaways delivered.

They won’t have the vaccine - BiL is eligible (due to his age), but SiL isn’t quite yet.

BiL is a bit conspiracy theorist about COVID (he always has been tbh) - he thinks the vaccines have chips in that will track and control us, and SiL says that she won’t have one either.

SiL has always been outgoing and extroverted, travels a lot, always out, loves clubbing and has a very active social life. BiL never went out with her, never went travelling with her or anything like that either, but never seemed controlling as she’s always done her own thing and he’s never stopped her in the past.

It is worrying, but the only contact anyone has with them is FaceTime/phone and she says that everything is fine - she seems her usual self when chatting but you can’t really tell over FaceTime. Other SiL has tried popping round but they won’t answer the door, and won’t even have a socially distanced cup of tea in their garden so it’s hard to get to the bottom of it.

SiL says she accepts that if she doesn’t have the vaccine she probably won’t be able to go travelling again, no pubs/clubs if they bring in vaccine passports which is so unlike her that it’s quite worrying and it’s difficult to get a handle on what’s going on with them

@IrmaFayLear

I must admit I have barely been out. I’ve been to the hospital, and nipped into the chemist and the garden centre. I know I’d be toast if I caught covid but after two vaccinations and with low case numbers I am going to gird my loins and re-enter society! I think bil did unsettle dh a bit though and he was busy quarantining post again this morning...

Sorry they got in his head. Is it worth checking the figures in the local area?

So much judgment!
It's not easy for everyone to switch from having to be under lockdown to feeling safe about going out and about. Give people time, and remember that everyone has their own reasons for doing things.

I get being judgmental about someone running around coughing and spitting on others in a pandemic, but if someone's simply taking extra time, then let them.
A couple of friends were pressurising me for a meetup, and I said I wasn't ready yet - just a few days later there was another text asking if I was ready now. I had to put a date of "not until we're vaccinated" to stop being pressured. Perhaps they're the same, and have gone with an extra long date to cover everything. It's unlikely they're going to wait until zero covid, they possibly just don't want to have to keep explaining themselves every week?

No one has asked them to meet up! They suggested dh was being reckless because dh mentioned that we (ie he and I and the dcs) are going to sit in a pub garden in six weeks’ time.

Well they'll be at home a long time then.

I guess there's no law against never leaving your house. If it's just a couple, then up to them. I feel quite strongly about people forcing their children to live like this for prolonged periods of time. How awful for them.

Long as I'm not expected to go along with the insanity.

Ridiculous to suggest they have not left their homes for a year. That just cannot be true.

@SerenaRollsAGoodWay

Ridiculous to suggest they have not left their homes for a year. That just cannot be true.

There are definitely people like that out there, and not just people who are CEV and have been shielding.

Well if they have both had their jabs they have both been out at least twice.

They are talking bollocks!