Refusing to go out until zero covid

[IrmaFayLear]

Bil and sil have not been out since March 2020. They wfh, in 50s with no health conditions at all. They have both been fully vaccinated - two doses (sil’s best friend is a GP ). Dh was speaking to bil yesterday and he said it’s not safe until cases are zero worldwide, and that because they care so much about each other (!) they have decided that they cannot take any risk.

Are there many people like this? I was in the shielding category and although I have been ultra cautious, I have still gone for walks, dashed into the chemist in a hazmat suit etc etc. I wonder if they are extreme outliers or whether there will be more recluses now, feeling fully justified.

[rookiemere]

My DM is like this. To be fair DPs are in their 80s, DM is 83 and DF87. He's chomping at the bit to go out when things reopen ( Scotland ) and when I asked DM if they would be doing more once the second vaccinations have taken effect, she started muttering about new strains.

I really worry DF won't get to go out for a meal or the supermarket this year. DM has got more anxious over the past few years and I think this is more her realisation that she will outlive DF, so she's trying to keep him safe by not letting him go anywhere.

it's horrible being caught in the middle, as there is the very small chance DF would catch something when out and then DM would blame us for encouraging him.

[SixDegrees]

But back to the question of how widespread their attitude is - I can only think of one person I know like that.

And that person is someone who had previously struggled with agoraphobia for years. She’d been making really good progress in the year or two before covid, in terms of being able to leave her house, but she’s massively relapsed since covid started.
Although I believe her DH is still leaving the house on errands etc, so maybe she’s not as extreme as OP’s BIL and SIL?

[IrmaFayLear]

The thing is they don’t seem anxious - more convinced of their own rectitude and telling dh he is in the wrong.

Fwiw they have a very successful business and very large house, so not cooped up.

[lightand]

It would be very funny if it weren't so serious.

People can however, do what they like with their lives.

What does the sil'd friend, the gp say to them?

[LucilleTheVampireBat]

@LimitIsUp

I'm fine with them doing this - fewer people to compete with when booking outside table service at my favourite pub / restaurants.

They are nuts though

I'd be inclined to agree with this.

I don't have any sympathy for people like this. Their irrational behaviours and inability to assess risk have contributed to keeping the rest of us locked up.

[TooManyPlatesInMotion]

Are they literally not leaving the house, even for walks? Because that is evidence of mental illness, under the circs. What a fucking miserable existence.

[knitonedropone]

OP surely they aren't saying that they haven't left the house at all?

[Windyone]

I’m interested in what their business is that will never involve having to meet up with people.

[peak2021]

I hope there are not many like this, though supportive of caution such as face coverings and social distancing, limited numbers in shops, for example.

[AgeLikeWine]

They are being completely ridiculous.

I’m in my 50s, and I’m asthmatic, so I have been ultra cautious for the last year, but now that I’m vaccinated I can’t wait to get on with living my life again.

[AcornAutumn]

@IrmaFayLear

The thing is they don’t seem anxious - more convinced of their own rectitude and telling dh he is in the wrong.

Fwiw they have a very successful business and very large house, so not cooped up.

Ah, this makes me think they might just be using it as an excuse. I have had a couple of friends (?) tell me bluntly they ate having a great time.

That's not on a reflection on you or your posts. I just think there's a lot of cognitive dissonance going on.

Does your SIL see anyone on her side?

[Billythecandlestickmaker]

Prehaps, they're simply happy exactly as they are.
Lockdown for some people meant a slower pace of life, not having any obligations to do or see anyone.
People are shouting from the rooftops about being able to socialise again. I am not one of them, I'm really quite content in my family bubble, and I have no intentions of slipping back into that round the clock way of life.

It may be that the covid excuse is just the reason they can justify staying at home and living a reclusive life they may have grow accustomed to and enjoy.

If not, and it is an anxiety thing, then that is very sad. However, just looking from another perspective- it may he they're quite content as they are.

[Belladonna12]

I doubt that they're both suffering from a mental health condition that makes them not want to go out even though they are fully vaccinated. More likely, they just don't want to meet up with anyone and are using it as an excuse. Some introverts have quite enjoyed not having to socialise. Not everyone wants to go to the shops or pubs or restaurants.

[Unsure33]

No I don’t think there are many like this . And there are plenty who have ignored advice as well , and all sorts of variations in between .

I don’t understand this though if the best friend is a gp ? One I don’t think anyone would risk letting their friends queue jumping and two the gp would be talking some sense into them

The risk is not going to magically go away , but in this country I think they said the risk of catching covid and ending up in hospital is extremely low at the moment If you have had both jabs . Extremely low .

There are lots of other illnesses they could catch which would probably be worse .

[MangosteenSoda]

It’s not as if it’s the only infectious disease in the world!

They either have serious anxiety issues or have decided that they actually love a solitary life.

[Belladonna12]

I don’t understand this though if the best friend is a gp ? One I don’t think anyone would risk letting their friends queue jumping and two the gp would be talking some sense into them

Why would anyone "talk sense into them"? They're probably perfectly happy so why is it anyone else's concern?

[hayley037]

My boss is like this - she is a perfectly healthy 40 something. She's also an anti-vaxxer though so it's even worse as she is relying on Covid disappearing. I feel sorry for her 70 something year old mum who she has terrified by her into not having the vaccine and can't leave her house either.

The problem for me is that she has a go at me for doing normal things like getting my hair done or going to the gym because 'it's too dangerous'.

Not sure what she's going to do when we all go back to the office in June, she's senior enough so will probably be allowed to work from home forever but she is already insisting that social distancing, masks, etc stay in place regardless of if the government lift those restrictions/guidance.

[HoppingPavlova]

Well, good luck to them as there will never be zero, it will be with us forever, just not in pandemic form. Even things that have been eradicated, as per WHO definition, still pop up in small pockets every now and again, but are contained.

If they want to live the rest of their life looking at the same 4 walls and a tv power to them but I wouldn’t do it, I would much rather take my chances.

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

he said it’s not safe until cases are zero worldwide

This will never happen. We need to learn how to live with it and annual vaccinations; like with flu.

[sunflowersandbuttercups]

The thing is they don’t seem anxious - more convinced of their own rectitude and telling dh he is in the wrong.

Many anxious people are good at covering it up.

However, there could be some extreme control going on - have you and DH considered that at all?

[Doris86]

There will never be zero covid, we will need to learn to live with it to a certain extent.

I’m sure they will see sense at some point or otherwise they’ll still be shut in their house in 25 years time.

[icdtap]

I also know a couple like this. They are in their 70s and they have been vaccinated (1st dose only at the moment).
They said they won't be meeting anyone or leaving the house apart from walking the dog, until the situation is under control worldwide and until "everyone" in Europe is vaccinated. They had booked to go on holiday to somewhere in Europe in September but want to cancel now.
They are afraid of the mutations they say.

They were having a right go at me about me not being vaccinated but I'm living in Europe and am months away from getting a vaccine at the moment. I'm in priority group 12 or something (40s, no prior health conditions, not in a "system-relevant job). By the time they get round to me they'll probably be having to do boosters for the elderly and vulnerable again.
Anyway, the couple have been telling me I'm irresponsible and all the rest of it. Nothing I can say to that. I haven't been offered a vaccine.
They tell me I should be staying in until I have been vaccinated. That's not possible and I'm sticking to the rules of the country I am living in. There's nothing more that I can do.

If people have been vaccinated and are refusing to go out until zero covid, then that's their decision to make but they then shouldn't be having a go at others and they also need to be prepared to stay indoors for a very long time.

[GrandDuchessRomanov]

if they have'nt been out how did they get their jabs?

[MintyMabel]

Why does it matter to you? They don’t have to go out if they don’t want to go out.