Anyone not want things to go back to how they were before?

[UntamedWisteria]

We are a family of 4 & will see my parents outside on Easter Sunday which I am really looking forward to.

But I don't want to see anyone else. DH has just texted some neighbours & suggested meeting up with them over Easter as well. I just don't want to, and think he should have checked with me first. I'm not ready for this yet.

[quote Waxonwaxoff0]@Kazzyhoward supermarkets will have a lot more money in reserves to do that than a small independent pub will though.[/quote]
But they wouldn't do it if it wasn't profitable overall.

Minimum wage is only £6.45 per hour. You don't need reserves to pay that.

It's not table service that's the problem, it's social distancing, i.e. the capacity of the pub/restaurant, not whether customers have to order at the bar or not.

Say no if you don’t want to do things it’s that simple

Agree. The issue comes in when the op tries to force her husband or children to stay in lock down with her. Or he tries to force her. They simply need to compromise. She can stay in lock down and he needs to be able to come out of it with the kids and see other people.

@Kazzyhoward yes but after pretty much a year of no profits at all I think most pubs will be keen to get back to maximum profits.

Most people who go to the pub regularly are younger people who are less concerned about Covid and crowds anyway. I'm 30 and everyone I know in their 20s and early 30s aren't worried at all.

Thing is, when things go back to normal you have a choice. Go out and do the things you did before or don’t. Whilst you may not be ready, many of us are and want to regain some of our pre covid life. Many people are very isolated. I’m a single parent so being sat in the house day in day out has been really difficult, outdoor walks are nice but on my own. If things are open and I can go out, I will. You can stay at home if that suits you better but we then both have the choice.

My family is 500 miles away and I’ve not seen my mum since 2019! I’ve often found the people saying they are quite happy are those that have had parents for ‘outdoor’ meet ups and other family. All well and good if you can but many can’t and are missing their families.

[quote CuthbertDibbleandGrubb]@Ladderclimber I think you have covered most things. Though I think going into an office or not should not be 100% one or the other, a day or two a week going in would be good for me.[/quote]
But if everyone only went in a day or two per week, there'd not be enough people to pay for the infrastructure such as public transport for the commute, there'd be fewer (maybe no) shops/cafes/takeaways close to your workplace, etc.

The pre covid levels of trains can't happen with a 20/40% reductions in passenger numbers, shops and cafes won't be viable with a 20/40% reduction in customers.

The idealistic notion of just spending a day or two at week and expecting the journey/commute to be the same can't happen, nor can the expectation of popping out at lunch to your favourite cafe or do some shopping.

With any significant reduction in commuters/workers, the city/town centres will become pretty bleak places. Just look at all the run down town centres that don't have major employers/office blocks etc - little but charity shops and bookies.

Be careful what you wish for.

No, if you dont "check in" the seat next to you on a plane, they can sell it to someone else, even if youve paid for it.

So upgrade to a more expensive airline with a busincss class which allows you to keep your distance from your fellow man or woman - at a price - or accept that the business model which allows, or allowed, you to fly around cheaply means that you may have to spend a few hours in proximity to other people.

Football stadium seating and cinema seating is "flexible" anyway with lots of people just sitting where they want ignoring the seat number on their ticket.

That's not been my experience with sports events, but being seated next to others bothers you that much, if you've paid for the extra seat you are in your rights to tell them to mov.

I would like most things back to normal. Although I've never been comfortable with super closeness to strangers (squeezed up on the tube, eg) or things like museums heaving so I hope things like that stay less busy!

I would go back to normal today. I would love to meet my friends, go and watch football, go to the pub and then finish the day off with a curry.

I do, I moved to the west country for work and also because all of my friends are here and the social life is great, I couldn't wait to explore the countryside and beaches and was looking forward to having a get together with my lovely new neighbours.
The week after I moved into my new home we went into lockdown and I've seen nobody and done nothing apart from go into work (NHS), it's very lonely.
I've seen no family since October 2019.
I'm exhausted looking after covid patients and working hours of unpaid overtime, not to mention the risk of catching covid is ever there.
I can't wait for things to go back to normal.

[quote Waxonwaxoff0]@Kazzyhoward yes but after pretty much a year of no profits at all I think most pubs will be keen to get back to maximum profits.

Most people who go to the pub regularly are younger people who are less concerned about Covid and crowds anyway. I'm 30 and everyone I know in their 20s and early 30s aren't worried at all.[/quote]
For which they need to be full most of the time, social distancing or not.

If table service makes potential customers feel safer then it's a no brainer to do it to attract more customers.

We wouldn't have needed the eat out scheme last August if pubs/restaurants were busy enough without it. As it was, it was criticised for encouraging customers to go Mon-Wed and it was said to have reduced weekend trade. That suggests it made weekends quieter which suggests they didn't have an unlimited number of customers.

I remember a major pub/restaurant near us who hired barriers to put outside to "control" the expected queues for when it reopened last Summer, one queue line for pre-booked tables, one line for "walk ins" without reservations, another set of barriers to separate those leaving from those arriving etc. For the first few days, there were indeed queues, but the barriers were removed after a couple of weeks as the queues didn't last beyond the first weekend and simply weren't needed. Another couple of weeks later they were on local facebook groups saying bookings not required and virtually pleading for customers. They were busy at first (novelty factor) but it soon faded away.

You can't assume that there's an unlimited number of customers who'll keep places busy for the long term. Pubs and restaurants will have lost, forever, a significant number of customers, so after the initial "high" when they reopen, trade will quickly fall away.

@IcedPurple

No, if you dont "check in" the seat next to you on a plane, they can sell it to someone else, even if youve paid for it.

So upgrade to a more expensive airline with a busincss class which allows you to keep your distance from your fellow man or woman - at a price - or accept that the business model which allows, or allowed, you to fly around cheaply means that you may have to spend a few hours in proximity to other people.

Football stadium seating and cinema seating is "flexible" anyway with lots of people just sitting where they want ignoring the seat number on their ticket.

That's not been my experience with sports events, but being seated next to others bothers you that much, if you've paid for the extra seat you are in your rights to tell them to mov.

Re aircraft, the cost of business class is a lot more than the price of 2 standard seats, so it's not really a sensible proposition, as you get other things you don't need, not just the extra space you do. It's a shame they dont have a few rows where seats are wider or spaced apart, i.e. a section of 2 instead of 3, that you pay 50% more for, like those extra legroom seats where the rows are spaced out more.

Re football stadiums, even if someone is sat in your seat, they'll often refuse to move if they've chosen to sit near their mates. Some don't even look at their tickets to look for their seat numbers. Same in cinemas. There's no enforcement - the stewards/ushers just shrug and vaguely point to empty seats, thus perpetuating the problem when their ticket holders show up, and so it goes on.

I want things back to normal but only once safe. I can’t see us being free of covid here by June so will still be avoiding many things until it’s safer.

I have no problem in saying no though.

It's a shame they dont have a few rows where seats are wider or spaced apart, i.e. a section of 2 instead of 3, that you pay 50% more for, like those extra legroom seats where the rows are spaced out more.

Isn't that what Premium Economy is?

Perhaps you need to try to understand DH's need for a bit of interaction with other people as much as you expect him to understand your desire to stay isolated

Fighting to a packed bar you've never had to do this*
Shaking hands (it’s just weird) you've never had to do this*
Having to go in person to the GP having been misdiagnosed by a telephone GP which has left me long term issues I think although this is a decent idea for some, it isnt a safe option to blanket cover all. I'm not sure how to safeguard this option easily*
Going in to the office you dont have to go to work if you dont want to. No one forces us to get jobs. But I'm glad wfh will become more of the norm*
Small talk with people I either don’t give a shit about or actively dislike (see above plus school run) you've never had to do this*
Packed public transport you've never had to use this*
It being socially acceptable to mix with other people when ill including when coughing and sneezing and revolting nose blowing. Agreed..but this also means a change in the workplace culture of punishment for too many sick days*
Eating in public rather than having the same nice food delivered to your home. this has always been an option*
Excess pollution from pointless shopping trips and commutes. I think the environmental damage from single use plastics and disposable masks is just as bad*
Indoor kids’ activities at grotty soft play centres or laser tag, trampoline etc places. you've never had to do this*

I just dont understand why people seem to think the only way to get the quieter life they desire is by also forcing everyone else to keep that lockdown enforced style of quieter life.

Just say no!

I was in a low place when I posted last night and was very much giving a personal view. Some posters on here clearly do understand that it's not as simple as just saying No - there is a sense of social obligation.

However to be clear of course I want life to get back to normal for everyone as much as possible, here and in the rest of the world. People's jobs, seeing their families and loved ones, the economy, freedom to have fun, a haircut! ... etc.

And we all have different perspectives which are shaped by our own circumstances - I would never force my views on others.

But I am comforted, to see that I am not the only person who feels trepidation at some aspects of 'normal' life returning. I will find my own way back through this, and will definitely be more selective about accepting invitations I would previously have felt obliged to.

@SpnBaby1967

Fighting to a packed bar you've never had to do this* Shaking hands (it’s just weird) you've never had to do this* Having to go in person to the GP having been misdiagnosed by a telephone GP which has left me long term issues I think although this is a decent idea for some, it isnt a safe option to blanket cover all. I'm not sure how to safeguard this option easily* Going in to the office you dont have to go to work if you dont want to. No one forces us to get jobs. But I'm glad wfh will become more of the norm* Small talk with people I either don’t give a shit about or actively dislike (see above plus school run) you've never had to do this* Packed public transport you've never had to use this* It being socially acceptable to mix with other people when ill including when coughing and sneezing and revolting nose blowing. Agreed..but this also means a change in the workplace culture of punishment for too many sick days* Eating in public rather than having the same nice food delivered to your home. this has always been an option* Excess pollution from pointless shopping trips and commutes. I think the environmental damage from single use plastics and disposable masks is just as bad* Indoor kids’ activities at grotty soft play centres or laser tag, trampoline etc places. you've never had to do this*

In theory yes, but societal expectations mean you come across as weird if you refuse, say, to shake hands, so it's not really optional as refusal tends to lead to reduced outcomes. You're unlikely to get a job offer if you refuse to shake hands at an interview. If you're a salesman, you're unlikely to get a big order if you don't shake hands. You're unlikely to get promotions if you dont socialise at work.

@UntamedWisteria social obligation mainly seems to fall on women though . I used to say yes to shit I didn’t want to do and a couple of years ago I just stopped . Much happier

Couldn't agree more Changemaname1

Just say no. I can’t wait to go back to normal, but our normal. Prior to covid I never did anything socially that I didn’t want to do. It’s very liberating and life is too short to spend my precious work free time with people i don’t like doing things I don’t want to do. Why would I care what people I don’t like and don’t want to spend time with think of me?

But I am comforted, to see that I am not the only person who feels trepidation at some aspects of 'normal' life returning. I will find my own way back through this, and will definitely be more selective about accepting invitations I would previously have felt obliged to

I’m honestly not sure you should be comforted with out thinking this through. There are many people on here who don’t answer their doors, their phones, and don’t wish to leave their homes, and don’t have friends and often limited family relationships . Be comforted if you find this aspirational. If not don’t be. Because this is who you may be identifying with.

However you should not feel social obligation. Only you can manage that. You need to set your own boundaries and If you wish to stay locked down, then do this.

@Coasterfan

Just say no. I can’t wait to go back to normal, but our normal. Prior to covid I never did anything socially that I didn’t want to do. It’s very liberating and life is too short to spend my precious work free time with people i don’t like doing things I don’t want to do. Why would I care what people I don’t like and don’t want to spend time with think of me?

Because some other people take it as some kind of personal demented insult if you don't want to shake hands, or don't want a hug, or don't want to go to the pub or cafe or don't want to go the the works Christmas party.

Normal/sane people accept a refusal and move on. Demented people go on about lack of respect or being insulted etc and won't forgive nor forget!

@Waxonwaxoff0

The table service in pubs is nice but it won't carry on, you need twice the staff and only half the customers, it doesn't make financial sense long term.

The opposite question is whether a business will be viable if even 10% fewer customers are comfortable in crowded places now.

These posts get on my tits. Presumably the people who write them are adults and have always had the freedom to choose who they spend their free time with. It trivialises the significant erosion of our civil liberties and I find them incredibly tiresome.

Don’t punish the rest of us because you dopey cunts couldn’t be assertive in 2019 and before. If you don’t enjoy social obligations and being in crowds you have always had the choice not to do those things.