Invited round to neighbours garden...

[Silverthorny]

My lovely next door neighbour says she’ll put some chairs out in her front garden tomorrow and I can come and have coffee and cake with her. She’ll make sure we sit some distance apart. She’s pretty insistent!! I don’t feel comfortable? I haven’t seen anyone beyond my household. My daughter has just returned to school. My inclination is to say no for a bit longer and continue being cautious. I realise it’s permitted, and outdoor transmission risk is low. Neighbour has had one dose of the vaccine, I haven’t had the vaccine. DD returned to school today. They’ve had a case at her school last week, but different year group.

You are about a million times more likely to catch something from your daughter/her school than by sitting socially distanced with your vaccinated neighbour in her garden. So maybe you need to think about why you feel happy to send your daughter to school but not to socialise with your neighbour?

@UserTwice I see school as a necessity.

And this is also about protecting my neighbour.

Good grief. How many discussions on this subject do there have to be? Go or don’t go, please yourself. It hardly warrants a long drawn out discussion.

It's not technically permitted until the 29th as it's in someone's private garden (although the wording on this point is woolly), but personally I couldn't get too concerned about this- as you say, transmission outside is low, and you could be able to sit with her in a park.

If you don't feel comfortable then don't do it.

I think we now live in a time when everyone needs to be open about what they are/are not comfortable with and okay with accepting other people's decisions based on this. I also think that people also need to be open about their exposure (ie how many people they are seeing, been in contact with someone waiting for test result, working in busy factory, using tubes etc etc) so that other people can make their own decisions based on full disclosure.
In your case just say - thanks that's lovely but I'm not comfortable yet, maybe in a few weeks/months. No big deal.

Bring your own chair, coffee and cake and sit 2m apart. You'll be fine. It can be daunting when you've been away from people for so long but it can do your mental health the world of good.

@roastpotatoesss yes - I’m confused about that. I think rules say private garden is ok now.

The rules don't call out private gardens until the 29th March, and when they talk about meeting one other person from now they say "leaving the house" which to me implies no garden.

However it's not clear and I personally couldn't get fussed about it one way or the other. It seems that you would be uncomfortable regardless of what the rules technically say so for that reason I would decline.

You don't feel comfortable. Theres your answer no need to feel guilty about or get worked up over it.

As someone who is/was high risk I would go, she might be desperately lonely and need human contact at once remove.

My BF and I were desperate just before Christmas she came for a single glass of wine, she sat one end of our long table, I sat the other end.

When she left I danced around the kitchen whilst preparing dinner.

I ran on happy bubbles for days.

It might be the tonic you both need.

What are you concerned about - passing the virus between each other which is extremely unlikely or the police coming round to book you for breaking the rules, also extremely unlikely or something else altogether?

From March 8, the rules state that people will be permitted to have socially distanced one-on-one meetups with others outdoors in a public space.

This means friends and family members can sit down for a coffee or have a picnic in the park, which is not currently allowed under lockdown

This would include parks, commons and other public outdoor spaces, as well as private gardens.

Copied from The Metro...

Okay, does that change how comfortable you feel about it?

I would say that 'public spaces' and 'private gardens' are opposite things but if that makes you feel comfortable enough to go then there's your answer!

The neighbours will all see us sitting out the front too!!!

I just wanted to gauge what people thought...

In terms of risk, your daughter going back to school means that you are effectively mixing with dozens of households now.

If your neighbours see you, so what? It's outside and it's one person (allowed).

But if you don't feel comfortable, it's your right to say so.

Wouldn't raise so much as an eyebrow round here. Sounds lovely.

Just go- bless her heart. Dont be nasty I bet she’s really lonely ! How are you going to spread it sitting apart ? You have to get back out there you shouldn’t be this scared , it’s sad how the government has made people this terrified, the risk is very low. You really don’t need to be this rigid with the rule following, I haven’t been anymore as my mental health is more important.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-response-spring-2021/covid-19-response-spring-2021-summary

Gardens is from 31st March

@OverTheRainbow88

Oh well .... do it in the back garden then so no one can see ? Are they really going to hurt anyone- I don’t think so it’s not a party.

If you don’t want to then say no. It’s really simple and you don’t need MN to validate your choice. I’d be fine with it, but if I wasn’t I’d say no.

You have to do what you feel comfortable with. Ideally the government want to delay private garden mixing, as some will then go onto sneaking people in through their back doors. By being in the front garden, it's better than being sat on a bench with a takeaway coffee, as chairs can be much further apart than a bench (I had a friend who wouldn't get nearer than 3/4m last year and I could still hear her) and also you can take your own cup so no outside contact.

@OverTheRainbow88 yes, The Metro is reporting something different - but I’ll use the ambiguity as a reason not to go. It’s about protecting her, not so much me! She’ll be passing me cake, cutlery etc - she’s desperate to feed me!!