Kids in school and change

[CovidStopping]

Ok, so my kids are the lucky ones - they've been in school throughout as DH and I both key workers. We r very lucky and I'm not disputing that at all.

However, I was reflecting today how hard it's been for them.

Their best friends left in March to be home schooled and they were both placed in bubbles with kids from other classes they didn't know so had to make me friends. Then old friends came back and they were separated from new friends in September. Then in January (or whenever - lost track!) old friends went off again and they were both in new bubbles again (but not same kids as last march), so had to make a bunch of new friends. Now next week old friends are coming back and they won't be allowed to mix with the new friends they've made.

I just feel.so sad for them. My kids had already had school changes prior to all this, as well as class shuffles mixing up the kids in the year.

I just feel.like they are learning that whatever friends they make will only be temporary so they better not get too close.

They've been great, but it's pretty hard on primary age kids to have to keep making and losing friends. :(

Just felt sad for them today that's all :(

@MrBullinaChinaShop

I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to make you feel worse.

Bring on the 8th!

[quote Invisimamma]@mrbullinachinashop why has your child not socialised with another child in nearly 3 months? Don't you take her to the park to meet a friend? Or out for a walk with another child? The law doesn't say they can't see or socialise with other children, just not in homes and not in groups, there are ways for her to see other children outdoors 😔. [/quote]
When you have a young child and the rule is only 1;1 for exercise it's impossible as 2 parents would make 4. So it hasn't been legally possible to socialise or play with a friend. We are exactly the same because we have stuck to the rules.

@MrBullinaChinaShop sorry you're getting a hard time. Your interpretation of the rules (law) in England has been correct. I can't imagine how hard it's been for only children. I am very angry that my 7 and 9 year olds have been left high and dry, too. Too small to go out without me, but I can only meet one other person so they can't come then to meet a friend either. It absolutely sucks, although I suppose they have each other.

Our school have not offered any live learning or even story times or assemblies, so at least they've not had to see their friends who are in school. However that's not been ideal either and they're pretty nervous about seeing their teachers again after 12 weeks with no interaction bar emails.

And it feels doubly shit when we can see on her zoom call that 20 out of the 29 kids in her class were in school yesterday!

@OverTheRainbow88
My reception aged child also hasn't played with another kid since Xmas hols started. It's not totally unheard of.

We've been to the park etc. but when we've gone it's either been empty or had kids too young (think 18months olds) or big kids and neither age group wanted to engage with DC. He has his friends at school but given we'd only been attending properly from after Oct half term to xmas hols I haven't become close with his friends parents yet so couldn't arrange to go for a walk together or bump at the park (from sept to Oct half term was half days as covid meant a longer transition for reception this year at his school). Some kids have no siblings or cousins local either remember. It's been pretty awful for them tbh.

Bloody hell, leave Bull alone...they are following the rules! My teen dcs haven’t met with anyone since lockdown either 🙂

@palacegirl77

Better to have loved and lost than not at all? My daughter hasn't played with another child since she finished on 18th December bar the one farcical day on 4th Jan. 23 weeks of school, fun and friendship lost. I'd completely have swopped places with you.

And let's not forget that those not in school also couldn't play with another child from March to June(?) last year (can't remember exactly when the rules changed to allow people to meet outside at a distance). So that's basically half of the past year. Incredibly tough, especially for only children or those with big age gaps between them and their siblings.

Imagine that happening 2 years ago and people not finding it shocking!

I would have found 99% of what’s happened this last year shocking if it had happened 2 years ago because 2 years ago we weren’t in the middle of a global pandemic.

Really don't know why MrBullinaChinaShop is getting a hard time here. The law specifically states you can only meet up with one other person from another household for exercise. So if he takes his daughter to meet a friend and their parent that's against the rules. Plus, as we're finding, if you have an only child it's even harder because parents don't want to come out without the other sibling or can't leave them at home to do so.

@cornish yep - mine was out March - July too. I cant remember now what the rules were and I think she only has maybe a few garden plays with some cousins or maybe a friend - but this time round thats not been permitted to. I am amazed that people are amazed we have stuck to the rules to be honest!

@LoudestCat14

Really don't know why MrBullinaChinaShop is getting a hard time here. The law specifically states you can only meet up with one other person from another household for exercise. So if he takes his daughter to meet a friend and their parent that's against the rules. Plus, as we're finding, if you have an only child it's even harder because parents don't want to come out without the other sibling or can't leave them at home to do so.

Because many people havent stuck to the rules. Some will have let their kids meet up, maybe even sent them to school though they didnt need to (odd day, or just because it was "better for their mental health"). Maybe its a little eyeopener as to what some of us have gone through?

Playgrounds were locked in my area so kids couldn't even go there

It’s shit for primary aged children in general (I mean it’s shit for all children in different ways, but I think primary age have been particularly neglected - Scotland being a noble exception in allow under 12s to mix).

My Y2 DS I have always had down I was quite gregarious and resilient. We bumped into a school friend of his today when we were out for a walk and my DS refused to acknowledge his friend at all - he buried his head in my coat like a shy two year old and wouldn’t come out until his friend had gone. It’s sad.

We have an only child - 6. Have been so thankful to have a mum up the road who is home and happy to have him two afternoons a week. He would not have seen another child since 4 Jan otherwise. Both households have not seen anyone outside this. Even so mine is desperate to get back to school and mix with more children.

palacegirl77 Ah, you mean the same rule breakers who'll be the first to moan if cases rise and schools shut again.

@Bubbinsmakesthree

It’s shit for primary aged children in general (I mean it’s shit for all children in different ways, but I think primary age have been particularly neglected - Scotland being a noble exception in allow under 12s to mix).

My Y2 DS I have always had down I was quite gregarious and resilient. We bumped into a school friend of his today when we were out for a walk and my DS refused to acknowledge his friend at all - he buried his head in my coat like a shy two year old and wouldn’t come out until his friend had gone. It’s sad.

Poor little chap. I remember the first time my daughter met up with a friend last summer after months out. Such good friends and they struggled to really be around each other at first, they usually hold hands and hug etc and were both obviously trying not to get too close to each other. Me and her mum were so concerned but after a walk around the park they were back together again. Im sure they will jump back in after a few days.

@LoudestCat14

palacegirl77 Ah, you mean the same rule breakers who'll be the first to moan if cases rise and schools shut again.

Yep those are the ones!

My kids have been at home and only the older two have been for a walk with a friend, as they are old enough to. The two younger primary haven't as its illegal. I work in school and all the children are fine mixing in KW bubbles and then going back to normal next week - they all understand after a year of Covid. I think the ones at home have definitely had it harder. I'm sorry I don't feel particularly sorry for the children that have been in. I've watched them doing pe and running around having a lovely time at playtime.

@Kitcat122

My kids have been at home and only the older two have been for a walk with a friend, as they are old enough to. The two younger primary haven't as its illegal. I work in school and all the children are fine mixing in KW bubbles and then going back to normal next week - they all understand after a year of Covid. I think the ones at home have definitely had it harder. I'm sorry I don't feel particularly sorry for the children that have been in. I've watched them doing pe and running around having a lovely time at playtime.

As a mum its hard not to feel like that. Every zoom call we have had with the teacher all we can hear in the background is kids happily playing together. Heart breaking when my daughters just sitting at home.

@Kitcat122 I totally agree with you. Regardless of the different mixes of children you are with in school..... least you are with other children, and getting to play etc! It can’t be compared to the struggles of kids at home with only their own or adult company for 3 months.

I am willing to sacrifice my own social life and mental health etc but not that of my children’s.

Rates are dropping with nurseries and pre schools open so outdoor socialising with kids is low risk.

Everywhere I go I see kids playing together. Groups of teens. All outside. I assumed this was going on everywhere.

Next week is going to be a period of adjustment for children (and their parents) and some will find it difficult. OP at least you have noted your good fortune.

OP I understand, my DC have been at school and are not looking forward to returning to their normal class as it's yet another change.

I am surprised that some schools have been having Zoom meetings showing the children in classes as well as the children in schools. Our schools have an online class and a separate Lockdown class with different a teacher each, but I suppose that's down to the amount of children available. It does seem unfair (both to the children at home wanting to be in school and the children in school wanting to be at home).

Decided last time that I wasn't going to do that to my child again. We've accidentally bumped into people in the park.

I think it’s very easy to put a positive spin on friendships changing for children and to remind them of lots of good things.

I feel far more for those that have lost parents or other loved ones. Having to change bubbles or class is hardly the end of the world.