DH doesn’t want to wash his hands

[teachocolate]

Sorry it’s a silly question but just had an argument with DH.
He doesn’t like washing hands but somehow trying to do. I saw many times he just washed hands without soap for only 2 or 3 seconds after he drops off kids or short walk. So this morning I asked him to wash with soap. Then, he said he doesn’t want because his skin is sensitive and he drove to nursery by car and didn’t touch anything. Then, he claimed that there is a famous scientist who says we don’t need to wash with soap and if he will not use soap unless the specialist changes his opinion. Sigh.... then he asked me scientific proof for washing hands with soap and I totally fed up. He shut the door and went out. How do you think? Do we need to wash hands with soap even if it’s after short drive to nursery? Am I being unreasonable? Do you wash hands with soap after short drive or short walk?

Anyway I don’t think his skin is sensitive.

They are his hands. I think it is up to him when and how he washes them within reason.

I am sure we are all sick of hand washing tbh but during a pandemic surely he can cope with a bit of an inconvenience? .. Wearing a hospital face mask in icu would also be a buggar wouldn't it? Yanbu to insist he takes all precautions to keep Covid out of your home.

Would he be happier to use hand sanitiser instead?

Who is this famous scientist?
I am sorry but your dh isn't very bright or sensible. He doesn'tcare about your health or that of his family. That must be a difficult and disappointing thing to discover about him.

If he has sensitive hands he could use an emollient type cream to wash with. I use it at work as I wash my hands hundreds of times a day.

Get him some soap or handwash for sensitive skin

What does he do after going to the toilet? 🧐

Why does he need to wash his hands after driving or going for a walk?

Fair enough if he's been handling things or is going to cook but not washing just for the hell of it

Ask if he he would like to have surgery with a medical team who didn’t wash their hands?

And its not up to you to police his hand washing regime

are we monitoring grown adults wash their hands now?

Also why are you just worrying about this now? This has been going on for a year and you's so far haven't dropped down dead due to his poor handwashing...

Most men (like overwhelmingly most men) don't wash their hands after using the loo. It's vile.

Does he wash his hand after he pees?

He can get himself some emollient cream, gentle handwash etc. if he feels he needs that.

On the school run, what is he touching that is touched by others? I assume you are worried about the covid risk since you posted in the topic? He leaves your home with the kids, gets into his car, drives to school, drops off the kids, and then comes home? I wouldn't wash my hands either in that scenario, unless you are missing some part of the explanation out? Same with going for a walk to be honest, if he hasn't touched anything?

Sure, the op can't force to wash his hands. But she can refuse to let him touch her with unwashed hands. We can't force our partners to shower either but I suspect most people would be exercising their right not to shag someone who was dodging soap in any other capacity. Poor hygiene doesn't just affect you, it's anti social to the people who interact with you, and even more so when we're in the middle of a pandemic. So although the op obviously can't force him, it's ridiculous to say that it's none of her business, not up to her to police him etc etc. Obviously it's going to affect the OP if she's living with someone who is choosing to increase his risk of bringing disease into the house they share and passing it on to her or their child.

I wouldn't wash my hands after a short walk or drive. I have only touched my own car. If you have touched other things then yes.

He hasn't touched anything on a walk or a drive though so how is he going to pass anything on?
They've obviously lasted the last year without him washing his hands every 5 minutes

He might be referring to this
“ Goldman, a microbiologist at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School in Newark, decided to take a closer look at the evidence around fomites. What he found was that there was little to support the idea that SARS-CoV-2 passes from one person to another through contaminated surfaces. He wrote a pointed commentary for The Lancet Infectious Diseases in July, arguing that surfaces presented relatively little risk of transmitting the virus2. His conviction has only strengthened since then, and Goldman has long since abandoned the gloves.” from here

www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-00251-4

I’d agree that it’s my more important to be careful around other people indoors etc than washing hands. Especially if he hasn’t touched anything, then of course he doesn’t need to wash his hands.

This would give me The Ick

There are two issues:

• he doesn't like washing his hands
• he is denying basic covid science

I don't know how you'd tackle it but someone arguing about washing their hands would just be really really fucking annoying.

I used to wash my hands when I got home pre-covid. Then you're done until you use the bathroom or prep food/eat.

Maybe worth a search. There is a video using pepper (i think) that shows CHILDREN how washing hands properly works and why. God he is an idiot. Its a bit like a parent having to tell a child if their friend jumped off a cliff would they follow them. What is so damn great about this scientist

I wash my hands if handling food or I've gone to the toilet. I don't wash my hands after going for a walk or a trip in the car.

@Aldidl

This would give me The Ick

Me too. Yes covid transmission by touch has been overblown but that doesn't mean no handwashing required at all.

I would storm out in a huff too if my DP was monitoring my handwashing after a short walk or drive. Fair enough wash your hands after shopping or whatever but you do not need to wash your hands when you haven't touched anything.

Lazy sod.