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Original poster

I’ve written my notice. Someone tell me I’ve done the right thing...

591 replies

readyplayer2 · 27/02/2021 15:06

I’m due back to work in 4 weeks time after being on maternity leave for 14 months.

I work in a large office and my employer throughout the whole pandemic hasn’t sent anyone to work from home!

I’m 35 have a BMI of 40 and I’m asthmatic, I also have psoriasis for which I am unmedicated.

I’ve been extremely careful, limiting social contact, avoiding supermarkets etc since last year.

I’ve written to my employer as asked if I can wfh but today have received a written response to my request which states that due to business requirements, I will need to be back into the office.

I’m due to work 3 days a week and my son will go to nursery.

I’ve weighed up my risks and I feel like it’s too much of a risk me being in the office and my son being at nursery.

My husband wfh and has done since last March!

I feel like my son would benefit so much from nursery but I just don’t think it’s worth the risk to me, especially if it means I could leave him without a mother.

I was hoping I would be vaccinated by the time I go back to work but I haven’t heard a single thing, I had a Drs appointment last week and they confirmed I am group 6 and need to wait my turn.

I can’t extend my return to work date as I’ve already done this and used all of my annual leave allowance.

Hate what Covid has done to us all :(

OP posts:
Original poster
readyplayer2 · 27/02/2021 16:48

Why do people keep saying to change clothes? Can you catch Covid on your clothes...?! Confused

OP posts:
NameChange1666 · 27/02/2021 16:49

You really need to get help with your anxiety. Your thinking is really flawed.

  • Just because you are the office and you child is in nursery does not mean you’ll get it.
  • If you do get it does not mean you’ll display symptoms
  • if you do get it does not mean you’ll be particularly ill it.
And so on. There are risks daily from all sorts of things beyond your control. Do you worry about those? Covid is unlikely to go away - we’ll probably need a vaccine frequently as and when new strains appear similar to flu. Do you want to be ruled by this all your life?
Doireallyneedaname · 27/02/2021 16:49

Wow, I could have written this. Fortunately I had my first jab a few days ago.

Could you take leave until you’re vaccinated?

Original poster
readyplayer2 · 27/02/2021 16:50

@NameChange1666

You really need to get help with your anxiety. Your thinking is really flawed.
  • Just because you are the office and you child is in nursery does not mean you’ll get it.
  • If you do get it does not mean you’ll display symptoms
  • if you do get it does not mean you’ll be particularly ill it.
And so on. There are risks daily from all sorts of things beyond your control. Do you worry about those? Covid is unlikely to go away - we’ll probably need a vaccine frequently as and when new strains appear similar to flu. Do you want to be ruled by this all your life?
@NameChange1666

No I don’t. I hate living this way. 🙁

OP posts:
NameChange1666 · 27/02/2021 16:51

@readyplayer2

Why do people keep saying to change clothes? Can you catch Covid on your clothes...?! Confused
The virus can b represent on your clothes in the same way it can be present on your hands. So to mitigate this you wash them. That’s what a lot of people who work in hospitals do.
Original poster
readyplayer2 · 27/02/2021 16:51

@Doireallyneedaname

Wow, I could have written this. Fortunately I had my first jab a few days ago.

Could you take leave until you’re vaccinated?

@Doireallyneedaname

The issue is, I don’t know when I’m going to be vaccinated.

I also can’t delay my son staring nursery without paying.

I’ve already delayed him starting and they let me do things foc.

I can’t work out which is the higher risk to me, my office or my son being in nursery.

OP posts:
OverweightPidgeon · 27/02/2021 16:51

I’m worried because I don’t want to get severely ill or die. The numbers may be low on my age group but that doesn’t mean I won’t be one of those numbers

No one wants to die and the chances of you doing so are very small .

Are you not willing to try and help yourself? Resilience is something you should be teaching your child ( when they’re older) how can you do this if you can’t do it yourself?

Do you actually want help?

grapewine · 27/02/2021 16:51

[quote PricklesAndSpikes]You had 7 pages on your thread from last Sunday, I'm not sure that you are going to get different opinions / advice this week to be honest:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4172643-To-quit-my-job-because-of-my-weight[/quote]
Thought it sounded really familiar!

Brunt0n · 27/02/2021 16:52

@readyplayer2

Why do people keep saying to change clothes? Can you catch Covid on your clothes...?! Confused
No it’s a performance to make themselves feel better, like people stepping out into the road when they see someone walking towards them on the pavement. It doesn’t actually do any good.
Original poster
readyplayer2 · 27/02/2021 16:52

@OverweightPidgeon

I’m worried because I don’t want to get severely ill or die. The numbers may be low on my age group but that doesn’t mean I won’t be one of those numbers

No one wants to die and the chances of you doing so are very small .

Are you not willing to try and help yourself? Resilience is something you should be teaching your child ( when they’re older) how can you do this if you can’t do it yourself?

Do you actually want help?

@OverweightPidgeon

Of course..! I’m waiting for some CBT.

OP posts:
Original poster
readyplayer2 · 27/02/2021 16:54

@Brunt0n

No it’s a performance to make themselves feel better, like people stepping out into the road when they see someone walking towards them on the pavement. It doesn’t actually do any good.

I can’t tell if you’re being serious or sarcastic..

OP posts:
CovidHalloween · 27/02/2021 16:54

Do people not read the OPs replies? Some people are so patronising and presumptuous. Do what you feel is right OP. X

3littlewords · 27/02/2021 16:55

Not RTFT but in answer to your initial post, no I wouldn't quit your job unless a) you can afford to live without your wage for the foreseeable as there aren't many jobs out there (made redundant before Xmas trust me I know) b) it would be easy to pick up your profession at the same level and pay a few months down the line.

Statistically even with the most vulnerable of health conditions the chance of surviving covid are vastly higher than the chance of dying. Speak to your employer about your concerns ask what covid prevention measures are in place and what they can do extra to support your return.

Its scary leaving your baby and going back to work at the best of times so I understand your worries.

sparklefarts · 27/02/2021 16:58

You're at more risk of financially ruining yourself than you are catching COVID. And that's without other possible situationsz
What if your husband got made redundant a week after you quit, for example?

Would be a massive mistake to quit

BungleandGeorge · 27/02/2021 16:59

Your employer don’t have to provide wfh or a delayed start date etc. If you apply for parental leave they do have to give you a valid business reason for declining but if they’re expecting you back and have arranged training or other staff around that then they can say no quite legitimately. So the only thing you can do is resign if you’re not happy. It’s lovely having that extra time with your child but whether I would do it depends on your likelihood of getting another job in your sector? And the consequences if you can’t? If it’s a case of giving up luxuries, living frugally it’s a different situation to potentially losing your house etc

Schoolchoicesucks · 27/02/2021 16:59

OP, you have now said that you are more worried about your child being at nursery. Are you? What are your worries about that? For the child catching covid or for you catching it from your child?

I am asking as you do seen to be excessively anxious and confused about what your worries are.

If you can't afford to be a sahp, then resigning before even asking your employer for more details about their covid secure workplace is nuts.

If you would need to find a flexible part-time role in 6 months time while planning that you, new to the role and employer, would be the parent to drop work if your child is ill and can't go to nursery - that's going to be tough.

You are likely to get the vaccine shortly. You are unlikely to contract covid from a covid secure office if you are taking all the precautions you can during this few weeks. Even if you do, you are very unlikely to become seriously unwell.

If you quit, you are likely to find it hard to get another flexible role in 6-12 months.

sadie9 · 27/02/2021 16:59

You posted about this not so long ago.
It's heart breaking leaving your baby for the first time.

This isn't about Covid it's about leaving your son.

Why don't you go back to work and then quit in a few weeks if you still feel the same?
You might see things very very differently then in the reality of the situation.

GaryUnicorn · 27/02/2021 17:01

You could lose a stone before you start your new job, and lower your BMI to 36-37 and you would have a lot more energy. You can do it!

mellicauli · 27/02/2021 17:01

This is a government graph showing number of deaths we usually get vs number of deaths from covid. For 18-44 group it is a tiny, tiny slither. You’d have to be so unlucky.Don’t leave your job for this. You could get it but you’d be very very unlucky not to survive,

I’ve written my notice. Someone tell me I’ve done the right thing...
BungleandGeorge · 27/02/2021 17:03

What many people do is get pregnant again if they want more children. You can go on mat leave at 29 weeks plus you’ll have a years holiday to take. (I’m not saying that’s great for employers!)

cocopidge · 27/02/2021 17:03

I am honestly shocked at what I'm reading.

Covid has turned sane adults with critical thinking skills into anxious messes.

Another one saying absolutely do not hand in your notice. You might have already had covid and not realised. You might never ever get it. You might catch covid just from the supermarket.

Please do not give up your job.

NoGoodPunsLeft · 27/02/2021 17:04

[quote readyplayer2]@Brunt0n

No it’s a performance to make themselves feel better, like people stepping out into the road when they see someone walking towards them on the pavement. It doesn’t actually do any good.

I can’t tell if you’re being serious or sarcastic..[/quote]
Serous. It's a tiny risk carrying it into the house on your clothes (or groceries/post etc) and passing someone briefly outside

alicewasahorse · 27/02/2021 17:04

Surely being signed off for a few weeks is better than resigning? Give yourself some space and hopefully you'll get your vaccine in that time. You have anxiety and I don't think it should be counted against you however don't know the politics of your workplace.

maddiemookins16mum · 27/02/2021 17:05

I think you’re making a mistake.

maddiemookins16mum · 27/02/2021 17:07

Oops, posted too soon. I also think this is more about your ML ending and your little lad than Covid.