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Anyone just not bother going out now

160 replies

Happycat1212 · 13/02/2021 17:26

Does anyone else just not bothering going anywhere at all now?? I’m exempt from wearing face masks but to avoid abuse I just stay home now, my mum keeps trying to get me to go to hers (I can she’s in my bubble) but I don’t drive so would need a bus but I don’t want to get on them for fear of being abused. Anyone else worry about this type of thing?

OP posts:
TheVampiresWife · 14/02/2021 11:10

@IrmaFayLear

Essential hospital trips are one thing, but as CharBart says, taking public transport and going to the shops maskless is really not doing your bit.

I absolutely refute people’s claim that they have to do the shopping. You may want to do your own shopping, but not being prepared to sacrifice this just sounds like “I’ll do me and hang everyone else”. As I said, those who say, “dh can’t be trusted” are idiots, and selfish idiots at that.

I walk every day and never wear a mask; you rarely see anyone wearing one in the open air.

This isn't about shopping. OP didn't start this thread to ask about shopping. But since you ask, if you can't get a delivery slot or if you live alone, or if you run out of something unexpectedly, yes, you have to go to the shop.

If you have no option but to use PT to get to work or hospital appointments, you have to use PT, 'doing your bit' or not. They are essential journeys. Earning money to pay for food and bills, and obtaining hospital treatment, are essential to life. You cannot tell people they must not do these things.

TheVampiresWife · 14/02/2021 11:12

@BamboozledandBefuddled

DH has been to hospital multiple times since September. He can't wear a mask and this has never been a problem. I'm just pleased he's going to a hospital that has a better understanding of the problem than others.
I've attended hospital regularly throughout. Not one member of medical staff has ever commented. One of my clinics is related to my reason for exemption though and most patients are unable to wear masks so it's not unusual.
TheVampiresWife · 14/02/2021 11:14

@Helenluvsrob

I understand it’s difficult but if you can’t wear a mask you do need to stay home to avoid infection yourself surely ?
Why?

This thread is full of people saying 'if masks offered the wearer protection nobody would say they were exempt'.

People who are exempt don't always have the choice to stay at home, whoever their masks protect.

Happycat1212 · 14/02/2021 11:45

This place is so ridiculous telling people there is absolutely no need to go to the shop ever, as I explained Tesco’s cancelled my shop the other day, I even posted about it on here! When they brought it the next day it was missing all of my frozen food which was our dinners for the next week 😕 but yeh there is no reasons to ever go to the shop ever! Maybe we should just live on bread and water for dinner for the next week then. I don’t have a partner I am a single parent so no one to go to the shop for me. And please do not tell me I need to ask my mum she has a range of disabilities and doesn’t drive and wouldn’t manage to carry a weeks worth of dinners to my house

OP posts:
Happycat1212 · 14/02/2021 11:45

Oh and Tesco’s only refunded me they did not offer to send it back out to us

OP posts:
TheVampiresWife · 14/02/2021 12:03

@Happycat1212

This place is so ridiculous telling people there is absolutely no need to go to the shop ever, as I explained Tesco’s cancelled my shop the other day, I even posted about it on here! When they brought it the next day it was missing all of my frozen food which was our dinners for the next week 😕 but yeh there is no reasons to ever go to the shop ever! Maybe we should just live on bread and water for dinner for the next week then. I don’t have a partner I am a single parent so no one to go to the shop for me. And please do not tell me I need to ask my mum she has a range of disabilities and doesn’t drive and wouldn’t manage to carry a weeks worth of dinners to my house
There is so little ability for some posters to think behind their own comfortable existence, it's quite shocking. Threads like yours, OP, always go the same way.

OP: I'm exempt from wearing a mask but need to do X, Y or Z
Posters: Well you should be staying at home you selfish disease vector. Oh and wear a visor/stop whining about your rights
OP: But I need to go to work/pick up DC from school/buy food/have blood tests done. And I can't wear a visor
Posters: Haven't you heard, there's a pandemic! Stay at home! If you don't like wearing a mask you'll hate a ventilator! Other countries manage it! Get a food delivery!!!
OP: Delivery slots are all taken weeks in advance. And I still need to get to work on the bus
Posters: Going to work is selfish and you'll kill people. Stay at home. Train yourself to wear a mask. You're not trying hard enough. If you're that vulnerable you shouldn't be going out. There shouldn't be exemptions
OP: I have a medical condition and I can't train myself to wear one. And I have to go to work/eat/have blood tests
Posters: No you don't! Nobody needs to go out. Ask a family member to help
OP: My mum can't have my blood tests for me/I've nobody local to help/I still have to go to work
Posters: It's not all about you! It's for the greater good! Stay at home if you can't wear a mask! You should be shielding! I'm exempt but I wear one because I'm not a selfish arsehole! Oh, and have you tried a visor?

Ad infinitum.

It's so depressingly predictable.

Trickyboy · 14/02/2021 12:06

There is the law. (Discrimination wrt a protected characteristic in this case disability) and

There is a public health pandemic. Which has killed 110k.

Your responsibility as a member of society is to do everything in your power to prevent the spread of the virus. It is the same responsibility that we all have.
Disability does not exempt you from that responsibility.

The Law on equality discrimination does not magically prevent the spread of a virus.

You need to do exactly what we are ALL doing in order to lessen the prevalence of this spread. That is - stay home except when not absolutely necessary. Just because you are in a 'bubble' doesn't mean you need to visit when not necessary.
You have to weigh up the consequences of the need for the visit - versus your unmasked journey adding to the spread. Then decide what is realistic. Could you catch Covid from another unmasked passenger and pass it to your mother ?

Personally I work from home, have food delivered. Stay home and go out without a mask, to exercise.

Would I like to visit my 83 year old parents ? Yes of course. Haven't seen them since October. Am I bored witless, desperate for company and lonely .? Yes. Like pretty much everyone else. I am ECV have had my vaccine .. still doesn't mean that if my disability meant I couldn't wear a mask - than my RIGHT still does not trump my RESPONSIBILITY not to endanger public health .

Your right under the law is not to be discriminated against. This is fulfilled in that public transport cannot and does not prohibit you travelling without a mask if you have a medical exemption. Being shouted at in an abusive way because you are disabled is a crime under the Criminal Justice Act and should be reported to the police.

It comes down to judgement. Do you need to be in a place where a mask is normally required. ? If yes than do it. But that need must be great enough for you to feel justified in risking other peoples health. (And your own - because other none mask wearers obviously make you even more susceptible) .

Redbrickwall · 14/02/2021 12:09

I am so disgusted to see a whole thread of adult women bullying a disabled lady. What a disgrace you all are.

TheVampiresWife · 14/02/2021 12:16

@Redbrickwall

I am so disgusted to see a whole thread of adult women bullying a disabled lady. What a disgrace you all are.
I'm disgusted that @MNHQ lets posters who do this get away with it. Time after time after time.
shinynewapple21 · 14/02/2021 12:18

I think it's pretty awful for people who are exempt from wearing masks as if you do go out you are going to be putting yourself more at risk anyway , especially if you are exempt because you have breathing difficulties .

I'm not mask exempt OP but I'm not really going anywhere at the moment just because the numbers have been so high recently . We get a shopping delivery and very occasionally go into a quiet local shop if there's something we run out of , but otherwise we are just going for daily walks . I would recommend wrapping up and getting yourself out for a daily walk if you aren't already doing so, even if it's just round the block .

It sounds as if your mum is confident getting out for what she needs and you aren't needing to see her for care or because she's lonely , so I would just wait a little bit . How far away from you does she live ? Is there just you and your DD? How old is she?

Have you got a shop you can walk to which has early / late opening? If so could you get yourself a lanyard if you are worried about people approaching you, but go at a very quiet time ? I would think people are less likely to say anything to you if there is more space for them to stay away from you .

BamboozledandBefuddled · 14/02/2021 12:20

I walk every day and never wear a mask; you rarely see anyone wearing one in the open air.

I rarely see anyone in a shop who isn't wearing a mask, so shall I just apply the logic of many posters on MN and insist that as I haven't personally experienced it, it cannot possibly be true? Equally, there has been a substantial increase in people wearing masks outside in this area, so naturally, this must be happening everywhere.

I know it was becoming very widespread pre-Covid for people to be unaware of (and completely indifferent to) differences between their own lifestyle and those of other people but it's really very concerning that there are so many people like this. It's also interesting to see how many of them accuse other people of being self-centred.

staydazzling · 18/02/2021 11:28

The rampant disabilism on MN astounds me, is MNHQ actually going to pull fingers out of arses and do something?
rampant racism, homophobia g wouldn't be tolerated in the same way.

Chewingle · 18/02/2021 11:55

@staydazzling

The rampant disabilism on MN astounds me, is MNHQ actually going to pull fingers out of arses and do something? rampant racism, homophobia g wouldn't be tolerated in the same way.
Is it rampant disabilism?

I see it as a hysterical reaction to the pandemic. So the same daft posters basically saying the OP shouldn’t go out at all will be on other threads saying similar things to posters that are not disabled.

MarinPrime · 18/02/2021 11:58

If I couldn't wear a mask I definitely wouldn't go on public transport. There's a much higher infection risk in an enclosed space and even if others are wearing masks they don't all wear them properly.

Chewingle · 18/02/2021 12:04

Op I recall you on another thread where you are adamant that you will not be getting the vaccine, ever.

Don’t you think life will be difficult for you if you have a medical condition that means you can’t wear a mask, but lockdown ends and life begins to return to normal but you don’t ever have a vaccine?

Chewingle · 18/02/2021 12:04

You posted * I’m taking no Covid vaccine and neither are my kids, no matter what. I’m just not convinced at all. There’s lots of things we could die of, I take my chances.*

Globe22 · 18/02/2021 12:09

I'm out and about, I'm now on half term and going out for the first time since school finished on Friday. I'm off out to town to return a pair of boots I ordered online, except I got someone else's order for some shoes! So off to the post office I go, it's in WHS so I'll have a browse and I may live life on the edge and buy tea from M&S!

Thimbleberries · 18/02/2021 12:11

@trappedsincesundaymorn

Every visitor to the hospital wears a mask too, no exemptions

I accompanied a person I support to a medical appointment last week, he relies on lip reading to communicate. I was allowed to be with him the whole time maskless, so clearly there are exemptions. Oh and before anybody scream "face shield" at me, shields distort the shape of the mouth which makes lip reading difficult if not impossible.

This doesn't help you, OP, but for people who find that normal face shields or masks with clear lip regions don't help much with lip reading, this new mask sounds better and gives a view of the whole face, including facial expressions, so it might be a possiblity for you when accompanying someone who lip reads.

www.cambridgeindependent.co.uk/news/reviewed-the-game-changing-clear-face-mask-that-helps-lip-readers-9156257/

Shehz21 · 18/02/2021 12:17

@gerbilfur

Do you have epilepsy or trigeminal neuralgia? Those are the only reasons I can think of for not even putting a scarf or something around your mouth. Sorry if I sound unfeeling it's not intended that way I'm just wondering if there is any way around your particular issue with wearing a mask
There are other reasons, even if you can't think of them.
Shehz21 · 18/02/2021 12:20

@picknmix1984

Your question was does anyone else just not bother going out now?

Sorry your question got highjacked op. I have a cautionary tale for you. My daughter (15) also stopped wanting to go out over a period of weeks. Until she couldn't go out. As her mum I've been trying to persuade her. Then last week she took an overdose. Thankfully she's ok but...

You must try for the sake of your mental health to keep going out.

I'm so sorry about your daughter 😔
recluse · 18/02/2021 12:21

@Redbrickwall

I am so disgusted to see a whole thread of adult women bullying a disabled lady. What a disgrace you all are.
Yes and why has this thread gone this way in favour of following the rules at all costs even when actually, if you are exempt, not wearing a mask and you go out to do essential things you are following the same rules - when other threads are full of people saying they have broken x, y or z rule, and will stop following them entirely come April.

It seems that OPs are in for a kicking whatever they post.

Springersrock · 18/02/2021 12:28

@staydazzling

The rampant disabilism on MN astounds me, is MNHQ actually going to pull fingers out of arses and do something? rampant racism, homophobia g wouldn't be tolerated in the same way.
Yep.

I report the comments, get a wishy washy reply about taking a look at the thread, then they do fuck all about it

It’s disgraceful.

I see it as a hysterical reaction to the pandemic. So the same daft posters basically saying the OP shouldn’t go out at all will be on other threads saying similar things to posters that are not disabled

Except they don’t say it to posters who are not disabled. It is only those who can’t wear masks who are subjected to it.

Shehz21 · 18/02/2021 12:29

@MarinPrime

If I couldn't wear a mask I definitely wouldn't go on public transport. There's a much higher infection risk in an enclosed space and even if others are wearing masks they don't all wear them properly.
Then what difference does it make between a disabled person who genuinely can't wear a mask not wear it due to their disability and people who are not wearing masks properly?
DenisetheMenace · 18/02/2021 12:30

I don’t really go into public places, except for a walk in quiet places and I wear a mask then because I can’t risk bringing anything home.
If it helps, on the rare occasions when I’ve had no choice but to go into the pharmacy or pet shop, I’ve seen a couple of people without masks and my assumption was they had a valid reason. I kept well away from them but that wasn’t a judgement of them, it was because of my own family circumstances and need to be cautious.

Can you manage a taxi? I’ve noticed that all of the taxis in our town have plastic screens.

Shehz21 · 18/02/2021 12:35

@DenisetheMenace
Just wanted to say I have noticed your posts on many threads and find myself always nodding in agreement.
You have one of the few posters on MN who is quite balanced in their views.
I’ve seen a couple of people without masks and my assumption was they had a valid reason. I kept well away from them but that wasn’t a judgement of them, it was because of my own family circumstances and need to be cautious.

Appreciate this bit.

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