Covidiot

[therearefourlights]

I have elderly, extremely vulnerable parents. Both in their 90s, both with chronic breathing difficulties.

My sister's washing machine recently broke down, and I have found out that she has been going to my parents house to use theirs.

It started with them staying out of the room when she was there, but they have been finding reasons to go in for a chat and now do so as standard.

My sister works in factory which constantly has to close due to repeated outbreaks of covid. She uses public transport to get to work.

I have asked her to stop going, and told her I will pay for either her to use a launderette or I will buy her a new washing machine which I can do, comfortably (she can't into mine as my child is extremely vulnerable).

She has refused both, and has made it clear she will keep going to our parents' until her friend can come and have a look at her washing machine in a few weeks. She does 2-3 loads a week. I know she doesn't wear a mask.

We had an argument. I became annoyed and called her a selfish f*cking idiot. Now she won't talk to me at all.

Don't think there's much else I can do. Is there?

No. And it seems your parents are also happy with the arrangement.

Haven’t they had the jab yet? They should’ve had both doses by now?

They could always say no.

Are they vaccinated? Maybe they feel it is worth the risk to see their daughter.

They are all adults. If your parents are happy with this arrangement then there is nothing you can do. Calling your sister names wont change anything.

If your parents are happy with the arrangement, and it seems they are, then it really is none of your business.
They are all adults.

You’re blaming your sister? Your parents clearly don’t mind her doing this. It’s their choice.

Your parents are adults. They would tell her not to if they didn't like it surely?

Your parents are in their 90's. Maybe they don't want to waste any more time not seeing their own family. It's Joe been much longer than anyone expected.

Maybe, having reached their 90s, they realise that they have limited time and would like to see their daughter while they can.

Maybe, as competent adults, they can make their own choices and don't need you to police them.

They wouldn't tell her if they didn't like it, no, because she would take offence and stop talking to them. We had something like this at the start of the pandemic. They wanted her to stop coming in, but when they suggested it to her, she kicked off at then. They called me, and I had to literally physically stop her going in. They didn't tell her they'd called me, because then she would stop talking to them. So I was the bad guy.

If they’ve been vaccinated and are prioritising seeing family in the (probably very limited) time they have left, I would let them get on with it

They will now be coming into the room with her because she'll have made comments about them 'hiding' behind the door.

Have you spoke to them to find out how they actually feel? Maybe they feel differently now after having probably had a vaccine and unable to see family for so long.

You all sound a bit dysfunctional. I think there’s more to this than just your hysteria around Covid. What’s the actual root of your problem with your sister? Did something happen in your childhood/teens?

@Dotinthecity

You all sound a bit dysfunctional. I think there’s more to this than just your hysteria around Covid. What’s the actual root of your problem with your sister? Did something happen in your childhood/teens?

Interesting comment, do I actually come off as being 'hysterical' around covid? As in acting in an illogical/paranoid manner?

Just order her a new washing machine if you can afford it x

Have they had their vaccination? Or is there some reason you don't want to say?

Have they had the vaccine though or not?

@liverpool1981

Just order her a new washing machine if you can afford it x

She wouldn't let it in the house unless she agreed to it, unfortunately. There is a long backstory that would basically result in her interpreting me sending her a washing machine as me making a statement that I am better than her.

@therearefourlights

They will now be coming into the room with her because she'll have made comments about them 'hiding' behind the door.

Do you know this is happening? Or are you projecting / trying to find a justification for your stance?

Either way, unless they are cognitively impaired, it's their decision to make.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Have they had their vaccination? Or is there some reason you don't want to say?

Yes, they have had their first vaccination. However, we live in an area with the majority of the new infections coming from the new strains, which may (or may not, we don't know) be less effective against mild or moderate illness. Unfortunately mild or moderate illness would probably be enough to finish them off.

Vaccine? Yes or No?

Surely at their age and vulnerability they should have managed to benefit from at least one vaccine, if not two by now.

Yes your sister is in the wrong but so are your parents.

@devildeepbluesea I'm projecting based on comments she has made in the past.

Cross post.

Nevertheless, it's up to them. At the end of the day, it's their home.