How much longer are we meant to do this?

[Creamteaincornwall]

I have so many friends who are at the end of their tether. Some suicidal, many almost.
I attend a zoom support group for my mental health and emotional well being as I have BPD and ASD. The last few weeks have been horrendous, every person is at the lowest they’ve been since the beginning of all this.
The amount of posts I’ve read on various Facebook groups of people saying they don’t want to get up in the morning anymore, they just stay in bed. Surely this isn’t doing anyone any good physically or mentally?
Surely this will put most in a weaker position if they were to catch covid?

How much more are we all suppose to take of this? With no end in sight?

@myfriendsgivebadadvice

once the most vulnerable are vaccinated and hospital admissions down we need to be getting back to some sort of normality.

That is exactly how to land back here.

Yep. Which is exactly what will happen, and exactly why next January people will be pretending they don't understand how we just had the second restricted Christmas and are now looking at the strictest lockdowns since the previous year.

@Flaxmeadow I watched them all when they were daily.

At least 6 months of social distancing is very different from at least 18 months of rolling lockdowns....

Was this totally different before lockdown? Probably not. So why make a fuss of it now?

My life wasn't like this before lockdown. I had to do these things but not on this scale. My DH was at work all day and my 2 teens at school. I have 3 strapping athletic men/lads in my house eating for England and it's like running a 5* hotel.

I've been perfectly alright up until today. Lockdown 3 and I am beginning to lose the plot a bit. I'm not making a fuss, I'm just over it now.

So you admit the socialisation of your children is suffering, you can not turn that off or pretend it is there when it isn't. Given your concerns I imagine the end of the lockdown will be welcome elli As a realist you will know that the development of a child is absolutely vital, and the longer this goes on the more entrenched the problem will be.
So I assume you are going to do something to address that for your kids? Like we all are. Or we fail our kids no?

Your experience isn't my experience. All my friends and acquaintances are working. Apart from one on furlough and one changing company. My friends are bored of no social life, but see the light at the end of the tunnel now. We know that viruses don't spread as fast in the spring and summer here. So many people have been vaccinated. I think you need to hang out with people who are working or volunteering every day. It gives a sense of normality. I went for a walk in the snow at lunchtime and it was so life affirming (central London, so this is our first day of real snow on the ground).

The media loves drama. I stick to BBC website only.

I guess the issue with being in mh support groups is everyone around you brings each other down. My family and friends are fed up but we talk positively about order stuff and the good things that are happening (so much good is happening).

Not every child hates homeschooling - quite a few like being away from the peer pressure (dd included), I know I’m social so I’ve upped my running and meet with friends (one at a time) to exercise. It’s so important to have goals. I’ve decorated bits of my house and planned a new kitchen (that I can’t afford).

@Flaxmeadow I watched them all when they were daily.

At least 6 months of social distancing is very different from at least 18 months of rolling lockdowns

Someone saying "at least 6 months of social distancing" is not the same as saying "it will all be back to normal in 6 months"

I think this is part of the problem. It's not what's being said, it's what ISN'T being said.

People interpret something like
"hopefully after 6 months of social distancing we can have a period of opening up again"
As
"It will all be over in 6 months"

Because that's what they want to believe. Who can blame them. But that isnt what's actually being said

I think the self styled realists are getting some unfair stick.

If we want to swallow whole without questioning what the so-called experts tell us, then from the beginning we looked to the WHO. Who rapidly proved they didn’t know their arse from their elbow. See international travel & face masks.

Now it’s all about ‘the variants’.

The variants we possibly have little control over coming into the UK as 7,000 lorries a day use the Port of Dover alone & closing the UK’s borders is impossible as we are not self sufficient. That’s not to say the variants won’t be defeated via vaccine, just don’t bank on the UK keeping them out.

Sorry if that is interpreted as being ‘grim’ at this stage but it is what it is & how I personally see it.

If you have a sunnier disposition than me, that’s great for you

There is an end in sight, vaccination is well on its way, hopefully at the beginning of March schools start back, then other stuff will slowly open, added to which days get lighter which always help

You can focus on one day at a time, knowing each day is getting slightly better

[quote Flaxmeadow]**@Flaxmeadow I watched them all when they were daily.

At least 6 months of social distancing is very different from at least 18 months of rolling lockdowns

Someone saying "at least 6 months of social distancing" is not the same as saying "it will all be back to normal in 6 months"

I think this is part of the problem. It's not what's being said, it's what ISN'T being said.

People interpret something like
"hopefully after 6 months of social distancing we can have a period of opening up again"
As
"It will all be over in 6 months"

Because that's what they want to believe. Who can blame them. But that isnt what's actually being said[/quote]
I watched all of them and do not remember being told at least 18 months of rolling lockdowns.

I agree there wasn’t a consistent message of this virus will disappear in 12 weeks either (although Boris tried to imply it), but at least 18 months of rolling lockdowns is not what the message was, even if it was said on an isolated occasion (which it wasn’t when I was watching, which was almost every day).

Was this totally different before lockdown? Probably not. So why make a fuss of it now

Cuz there’s fuck all to enjoy about life at the minute.

@Flaxmeadow 6 months and back to normal would have been mid November 2020 so I think it's fair to assume I understand he didn't mean that.

There's no way they would have said back then that it's 18 months of rolling lockdowns - they denied even a second National lockdown was on the cards until November. So I'm not sure where you got that from.

elli I totally agree with keeping the news turned off and out of the earshot of children. That is a good and protective move. If they are teens it is not possible, for little kids this should be played down as far as possible.

"How Long Are We Meant To Do This?"
As long as it takes - unless of course you want to play Russian roulette with your life or someone else's life.

This is definitely the hardest part, made worse by the freezing cold time of the year. I'm usually ok, but this weekend have reached a tipping point and hit an all time low. I'm sure that it will pass for me within a few days. I would say to anyone feeling like this to put their mental health ahead of the rules if it is severe (bubble up with a friend, go for a drive or a walk a little further away than usual etc.) Do what you need to do. Have a good cry, let it out, put on some relaxation music, scented candles, do a load of washing, buy some daffodils, create a routine and more than anything try to get out of the house every day to go for a walk with a friend or have them in for a cuppa. We don't need everyone to follow the rules in order for them to work. We just need most people. I am happy to stick by them as long as my mental health is ok, in order so that others who are really suffering can bend them without guilt.

@Chocolino

I've had it today as well. For me, the annoying thing is that I am getting nothing done. I am still working outside the home, albeit in a part-time role. It is the home stuff that is getting to me:

Get up, make breakfast, tidy up.
Tidy house
Make lunch, tidy up
Tidy house/ ironing
Make dinner/ tidy up

In between all, there is homeschooling, "I need a snack", "I want a drink", walk the dog, go food shopping, "there's no food in the house" and "where is my...?".

I probably usually have a lot more free time than most people as I only work p/t but I am getting NOTHING done. I haven't washed my hair for a week, I haven't shaved my legs for a year. I've got 10 million emails in my inbox. People usually tell me that I am super organised and on the ball. I just want to scream.

I have f*cking had enough of this. What really got to me this morning was watching the news and hearing about all the people who are not taking up the vaccine for whatever stupid, ignorant reasons. Well done to them for dragging this thing out longer.

I feel exactly the same. Working full time from home in a senior job and trying to home school two kids. I’m normally a resilient person but this is really difficult.

@LucilleTheVampireBat

That is exactly how to land back here

Then what is the point of the vaccine???!!! Of any of it? If you don't want normality to ever return because we will "end up back here" then tell me what the hell is the point?

The vaccine prevents people who do get ill from getting critically ill, that is it. There is currently no evidence that it will prevent you from living your life with damaged lungs, or damage to other internal organs, nor do we know what any of the long term effects of vaccines are.

mRNA vaccines have never been licenced for use on humans until now. Vaccinations have never been approved without going through the safety and approval protocols before either. This is a completely new experiment in what we can inject into people and how they will react.

So we do not even know what the health of any of the vaccinated people is likely to be in 2 years time. Only the Oxford vaccine seems to be based on established technologies with a proven track record as far as I can see. But I am obese. If they offer me it, I'll damn well take it.

You seem to be looking for a quick fix to an evolutionary problem. Things do not happen at the rate at which you want them to, and it is your management of expectation, your belief system, and how you weigh up the information you take in and decide what is and is not likely to be factual, and how important those facts are, and how they interact with one another that is flawed here.

The facts do not change, and for the most part are not disclosed to you. They are buried in scientific papers and data sets. What the man at the podium tells you is what he wants you to believe until he chooses that it is time for you to believe something else. He isn't lying per se. He is just presenting facts in a manner that meets with the requirements of the moment. An awareness of this distinction helps.

Oh my goodness, seriously! WTAH?

So your life is this all of the time:

Get up, make breakfast, tidy up.
Tidy house
Make lunch, tidy up
Tidy house/ ironing
Make dinner/ tidy up

My life is SO much bigger than this.

Maybe this is the root of the true problem on this thread and others. You have one camp who live a life very similar to lockdown anyway (list above) and the lockdown is not a big deal, same shit different day. And the other camp that have a fuller and more varied life usually and miss it like crazy, and are fighting for it.

No wonder none of us can agree!

If my life was like the above I would be permanently and seriously depressed.

Fuck do this, tidy up, do that, tidy up, do the next thing, tidy up.
Once a day before bed, that's it.

@MaeveDidIt

"How Long Are We Meant To Do This?" As long as it takes - unless of course you want to play Russian roulette with your life or someone else's life.

It won’t be that long. We’ll be ok with flu level deaths and hospitalisation.

We’ll move on

I'd give your post a like if I could Hugoslavia.

Can you think of it in smaller chunks, eg we are 12 million vaccinated now, by end of Feb got to be more. End of Feb weather will be slightly better. Can hope there is a seasonal element starting to kick in re:transmission. That you are focusing on getting to March and reassessing where we are?

I have never heard anyone aim for zero covid, I think we are aiming for hospitals not overwhelmed covid, vulnerable some vaccine protection covid, NOT zero covid!

I don't know anyone so low about the situation, frustrated but not so low and certainly no-one on facebook who puts up those type of posts. Can you limit your exposure to this for your own wellbeing. I am not saying ignore your friends/not support them, but perhaps check that what you are doing is either helping them or helping you and compartmentalise it a bit?

Start thinking of things you will do (just little plans) when restrictions lift. What type of community things will be your priority. Who you will meet etc.

This is not going on forever.

I’m finding this stage very hard

I feel hugely suppressed by this endless lock down. Feb 22 plan hopefully will reprieve.

@MaeveDidIt

"How Long Are We Meant To Do This?" As long as it takes - unless of course you want to play Russian roulette with your life or someone else's life.

Nope. That's not how people work. Eventually, they will choose the Russian roulette, because sheer misery will break them. Broken people do emotional rather than logical things because we are, you know, human. "As long as it takes" isnt actually going to happen.

@ElliFAntspoo you seem very concerned with the effects of long Covid and what the vaccine will actually do.... but seem not to care about the myriad of issues obesity will be causing your body. All that extra pressure on your heart and lungs is NOT good, don't kid yourself.