How much longer are we meant to do this?

[Creamteaincornwall]

I have so many friends who are at the end of their tether. Some suicidal, many almost.
I attend a zoom support group for my mental health and emotional well being as I have BPD and ASD. The last few weeks have been horrendous, every person is at the lowest they’ve been since the beginning of all this.
The amount of posts I’ve read on various Facebook groups of people saying they don’t want to get up in the morning anymore, they just stay in bed. Surely this isn’t doing anyone any good physically or mentally?
Surely this will put most in a weaker position if they were to catch covid?

How much more are we all suppose to take of this? With no end in sight?

@RaspberryCoulis

If people are struggling mentally to the point that some are suicidal then you go and see them, hug them and let them know you are there for them.

Covid is not the only thing which matters.

This... And there are exceptions written into the legislation that accommodate this.

@Flaxmeadow

I'd imagine that's because you agree with what she is saying.

Not necessarily

She's stating her opinion as fact, on a thread where people are struggling, and she's revelling in it. It's disgraceful.

The OP asked for peoples opinion, people have replied..I don't see anyone revelling in anything. If someone becomes upset because someone else says "this could last for years", then they are probably better off not reading the thread.

Some of her replies have been nasty as well, but let's ignore that shall we?

No they haven't. Elli has given their opinion on events and some people don't like that opinion. But it's just an opinion

Instead of making personal attacks, argue the case.

Yes they have. And she is revelling.

Pretend she's not as much as you like but it's evident to everyone else on the thread.

Instead of making personal attacks, argue the case

I don't see this being said to the prolific STAY THE FUCK AT HOME poster who was calling people "dicks" earlier in the thread. Bizarre.

[quote ElliFAntspoo]**@ElliFAntspoo* are you this happy in real life? Do you have any friends? You would make the most positive person want to curl up and die.*

We are supremely happy with our life, but like everyone there are things I wish were different. We rent privately, so we have uncertainty in whether or not someone else's personal circumstances could make us homeless. We were furloughed for a huge chink of last year, so we have concerns that we could end up with zero income. We have children and have concerns about their lack of socialisation etc. But I am a realist by nature, I see the world around me and take it for what it is, not what I wish it would be. I have no fear of the future for my family, their education, or their ability to cope in whatever future presents itself.

This.....!! Do you enjoy bringing others down? If you don't have something positive to say then say nothing at all.
If you choose to read negativity into the way one person sees the future playing out compared to another, that is entirely a matter for you, and more a reflection of your world view than mine. I can honestly say that I have never been more positive of the future or more clear about the options ahead of me than at any time in the past decade. If you need a world painted rosy and fluffy, maybe reading a thread where someone asks if this will ever end, is not the place to find your brand of positivity. I do not believe is sugar coating BS. I say it as I see it. If it provokes the question, 'what if I lose my job', 'what if there is no electricity for a week?', 'what if my partner dies?', 'what if people start getting mugged in my neighbourhood?', and a light goes on and someone makes a change in their life or thinks their way around a problem without it actually happening, that's a bonus.

When DD came to me to tell me why she had a nightmare, and why did she have nightmares when they weren't real, I told her it was a way of finding out how to do scary things without having to do them for real. So if scary things do happen for real maybe she's already practiced and it wouldn't be so scary. Maybe that's wrong, maybe that makes me a bad parent, I don't know. But if we don't confront scary things when we can see them coming down the road ahead of us, that just makes for a really shitty stressful life IMO, and I don't need that crap. I have a job to do and a family to raise.[/quote]
Couldn’t agree more

@OpenShop

OP - in answer to you, things will change rather than "end." Change will happen soon enough, as nothing stays the same for long and the situation will morph into a different version of itself. Covid will be here with us for a long time, but never underestimate the human capacity for adaptation. We will find increasingly innovative responses to this virus, and things will get better.

Spring is round the corner, the warmer weather will make a massive difference. Hopefully restrictions will start easing soon, roundabout Easter-time. This winter has been very tough for a many of us, but I really do think brighter times are ahead!

I agree with this viewpoint.

I think we have another winter or two where the NHS will get overwhelmed as they don't have the knowledge, money or resources to minimize the effects of Covid but I think we have some good times ahead when they weather improves.

Furlough ends on 30th April so fingers crossed that some industries will return to work on 1st May.

Yep I've been suicidal, had one attempt so far. Already had MH issues and this has made the future seem very bleak. I have a baby and wonder what world I've brought him into.

@Flaxmeadow if you can't see why someone stating their doomsday opinion as fact (and that everyone else's is wrong) during a discussion would rile people up then sorry, but I can't help you.

No I can't see it.

A real "dooms day" opinion would be something like "this virus will mutate and kill every last person on the planet" But no one is saying anything like that.

Especially when their opinion is very negative and is delivered in a matter of fact, almost gleeful way when some posters are clearly struggling with their mental health at the moment.

Do you just want positive opinions? Not seeing any glee. A poster might have a matter of fact manner, so what? Why does this bother you

All you're doing is making personal accusations simply because you don't like what is being said. Shoot the messenger type of thing

OP, we have to get the numbers low enough for test and trace to effectively stamp out local outbreaks of variants, while the vaccine is being rolled out said tweaked. Otherwise this really will go on forever and our HCPs will fare much worse than anyone else-we need them!!

I'm not denying it's extremely difficult but there is no magic wand.

@Flaxmeadow

Yes rolling lockdowns lasting at least 18 months, or longer

This is exactly what was said at daily briefings back in March and April. With scientists explanations and graphs

Why is this so controversial now in discussions, when we have all been told this from the start?

People only listen to what they want to hear. Last Summer, huge numbers of people (inc the govt) thought we'd beaten covid, hence opening up air travel, pubs/restaurants, "eat out to spread covid" and schools/Unis going back in September. There were loads of people last Summer on SM saying we'd achieved herd immunity (especially Londoners as their rates were tiny). Anyone saying otherwise was told they were crazy. Now we know who the crazy ones were. It's better to be realistic and accept that Covid is a long term problem than being deluded and thinking it was all over after just a few months! Managing expectations is the key to good mental health - no wonder people are depressed when they thought covid could be dealt with in just a few months and we'd be back to normal - that just leads to highs and lows. More realistic people don't suffer the highs and lows.

I don't see this being said to the prolific STAY THE FUCK AT HOME poster who was calling people "dicks" earlier in the thread. Bizarre

So take it up with them.

I really think it's very likely that vaccines will effectively contain future outbreaks most of the time but we do need to deal with this properly now.

I don't need to take it up with anyone. You are here telling people off for "personal attacks". You aren't dishing out the same telling off to people who agree with you.

@Flaxmeadow

I actually don't disagree with some of the principles of what they said - summer will be a lot better, winter might be tricky / more restrictions.

Am I spouting that we are definitely going to go into a 'very harsh' lockdown from the 30th November until mid March? No. Mostly because I don't think we will but also because I, like you and this poster don't actually know.

Discussions are a place for people to discuss, not for one person to TELL everyone else how it will be, when frankly, we are all just guessing.

@myfriendsgivebadadvice

I really think it's very likely that vaccines will effectively contain future outbreaks most of the time but we do need to deal with this properly now.

What makes you say that? Just today morning news came that AZ vacc is appr. 10% effective against SA variant. So facts are proving you wrong. I agree with pp who said that being realistic and managing expectations is the key to keeping it together.

What I really don't understand is how and why most people chose to believe an alternative reality. This was a foreseeable, logical conclusion of events.

People only listen to what they want to hear...

Exactly this

The Gov't and science told us all, repeatedly, that the situation is serious. That there would be no quick solutions and that we would have rolling lockdowns lasting "at least 18 months"

Then people got it into their heads that because they want "Xmas/summer holidays/pubs/Easter" etc that must mean that those things will get back to normal at those times.

The Govt and science have never promised these things. It's peoples own wants and desires making them think it. Their own unrealistic expectations are driving it and then when the lockdowns continue, as we have been told they would, they feel let down.

No one ever said this was going to easy or that it would be over quickly. Right from the start

I've had it today as well. For me, the annoying thing is that I am getting nothing done. I am still working outside the home, albeit in a part-time role. It is the home stuff that is getting to me:

Get up, make breakfast, tidy up.
Tidy house
Make lunch, tidy up
Tidy house/ ironing
Make dinner/ tidy up

In between all, there is homeschooling, "I need a snack", "I want a drink", walk the dog, go food shopping, "there's no food in the house" and "where is my...?".

I probably usually have a lot more free time than most people as I only work p/t but I am getting NOTHING done. I haven't washed my hair for a week, I haven't shaved my legs for a year. I've got 10 million emails in my inbox. People usually tell me that I am super organised and on the ball. I just want to scream.

I have f*cking had enough of this. What really got to me this morning was watching the news and hearing about all the people who are not taking up the vaccine for whatever stupid, ignorant reasons. Well done to them for dragging this thing out longer.

I have had Covid, DH and our two DCs had it too. I'm asthmatic and no it wasn't pleasant. My lovely dad died at the beginning of the pandemic. I still think enough is enough - once the most vulnerable are vaccinated and hospital admissions down we need to be getting back to some sort of normality.

@Flaxmeadow do you have a link to where they said in April we'd have rolling lockdowns for 'at least 18 months'?

Chris Whitty initially said 'at least 6 months of social distancing'

@ElliFAntspoo you can’t change what the government tax on food, you can only change what you decide to eat on a daily basis, how you spend your day, you can choose to exercise every day or you can choose to sit on the sofa.

@TheSunIsStillShining I heard on the radio at lunchtime that the AZ vaccine is not very effective against mild cases of the SA variation but that it would very likely offer good protection against serious illnes against that variation. So people who have had the AZ vaccine can still get a mild dose and pass it on, but it shouldn't put them in hospital. Have I understood that correctly?

That was my understanding anyway, which I know has nothing to do with your post really, I'm just trying to get my head round what was being reported.

I find it ironic how people now realise how much of a hamster wheel their life is. My bet is that their lives were just as much of a hamster wheel before, but the distractions shifted the focus.

"Get up, make breakfast, tidy up.
Tidy house
Make lunch, tidy up
Tidy house/ ironing
Make dinner/ tidy up"

Was this totally different before lockdown? Probably not. So why make a fuss of it now?

once the most vulnerable are vaccinated and hospital admissions down we need to be getting back to some sort of normality.

That is exactly how to land back here.

[quote Baileysforchristmas]@ElliFAntspoo so let’s say what you’re saying turns out to be the truth what should we do about it? Shall we make the most of every day and get on with our lives?[/quote]

1. There is no way you should take what I say to be true. You should gather information and make your own assessments of what you believe to be the most likely things that are going to happen and prepare for those - But you should be aware of possibilities that fall out with your guess as to how this is going to play out in your life, so that at the very least, you are not blindsided if something does happen that you could have foreseen but did not.

For example - we are in lockdown in the middle of a harsh winter. There is a possibility that we could lose electricity and maybe it is not restored for a week for more (because Covid - labour issues, supply issues, snow, maintenance of plant etc.) I have no way of handling that short of a few batteries for a torch, chocolate, and everyone snuggling up in the bedroom. We would loose everything in our freezer. But I cannot pretend I did not see it that it might happen, or ignore the fact that I chose not to be ready for it. In my assessment the risk is low enough that I don't buy a gas cylinder heater or a camping stove. Others may already have such things and be prepared for such things. But I choose not remain ignorant of the possibility.

1. We live our lives making the most of the freedoms we have. All the same crap everyone else has done. We bought board games, the kids built obstacle courses in the livingroom, we work on schooling, decide to draw silly stuff, make up songs, whether makes life funny. And we do not ever talk about the pandemic in front of our kids, or have the TV on, or avoid any questions they ask. If they ask, they deserve an honest straightforward answer. So for them it is just the way life is now.

I do as much work as I can as and when it fits in around us having as much fun as we can. Maybe that'll make us kooky. Who knows. There is going to be a lot more kooky people and kooky kids coming out the end of this. The lack of socialisation for the kids is the worst ATM I think.

@Flaxmeadow do you have a link to where they said in April we'd have rolling lockdowns for 'at least 18 months

It was in the first daily briefings. The ones that used to last at least an hour. Scientists with all graphs of waves and rolling lockdowns. The PM, or cabinet member, would speak and then hand over to the science. I think the problem was that no one watched for long after the hand over and so they became shorter briefings. I believe they are all on YouTube

Chris Whitty initially said 'at least 6 months of social distancing

Yes at least

That is exactly how to land back here

Then what is the point of the vaccine???!!! Of any of it? If you don't want normality to ever return because we will "end up back here" then tell me what the hell is the point?