“No onesies please as it makes the children in school jealous”

[Lemons1571]

A message from the head of our primary. Please could all parents at home please ensure their primary children are fully dressed in day clothes ready for their class 9am zoom. No onesies. Apparently the children actually allowed to go to school are annoyed seeing their classmates lounging at home in onesies / pj’s / loungewear.

Ummm, I’m sorry, I thought I heard you issuing instructions on what I must / must not do in my own house. What possible authority does a school have to do this? Kids forced out of face to face education. Being shown some lovely examples of the artwork done by the kids at school over zoom with the caveat “oh don’t worry I know you can’t do this at home”.

Read the room ffs. Just another request to put other people’s children before my own. As it happens my primary child gets dressed of his own accord, but if he wanted to wear a onesie then quite frankly anyone else’s opinion can fuck off.

Physically going to school = uniform worn as per school rules.
Physically barred from school = my house my rules.

No doubt I’m overreacting but it annoyed me!

YANBU!!! Definitley not being unreasonable at all. Am sorry, my dc at home are jealous that they haven't seen anyone their own age in 6 weeks, and are missing out on face to face education.. Wearing a onsie is miniscule compensation for that!! And no they can't tell u what to do in your own home. I would tell them to fuck off (well, words to that effect anyway!)

@Seth41

And this is precisely why I suspect I am not going around with a face like a smacked worse saying that life is shit and everything is shit but instead trying to see the positives and carving out a pretty fulfilling and happy life for me and, most importantly, my children, in a pandemic.

Because I don’t get caught up in frothy shite like this

Ironically you have got caught up in it, hence commenting?

I think it was an attempt by the teacher to be lighthearted!!! More diplomatic to make a joke of it and say that the pupils in the school are jealous that say please get your kids dressed!!!

We've had a couple of 'oooh are you two in matching pyjamas' type comments followed by half of the class showing off theirs (clean PJs on that morning - they just like slobbing out in PJs when at home. Half the kids in-school are in onesies for the warmth too (including the staff) cos of the doors and windows all being open - the in-school kids have been encouraged to take slippers and onesies and blankets in as well.

They're really not trying to run it as a "school" termtime feel at either end really - very much accepting that it's strange circumstances and taking the formality level down a bit... the morning calls - that are basically talking through work and checking the kids are OK - usually have at least 3-4 kids eating breakfast on them - it's more social and reducing isolation than anything else.

Oh for gods sake, just stick a jumper on your kid. Jesus Christ, if you can make a school’s day just a little bit easier why wouldn’t you? They’ve probably asked because some other dopey parent is complaining about it. Find a bigger hill to die on because this is just stupid.

I think I'm not alone in missing this but the word 'jealous' was never mentioned.

From the OP...

A message from the head of our primary. Please could all parents at home please ensure their primary children are fully dressed in day clothes ready for their class 9am zoom. No onesies.

The OP then goes on to say...

Apparently the children actually allowed to go to school are annoyed seeing their classmates lounging at home in onesies / pj’s / loungewear.

No mention of jealousy by the school at all, so I really doubt the only reason is because the other kids are annoyed.

I’m on mumsnet - I give my two pennies worth on loads of threads that the issue itself in RL I don’t give a hoot about.

It’s just chewing the fat really whilst I prep dinner

I think it's the right request for the wrong reason. Children should be dressed for school zooms because it signals its a learning day. However, that's why they should be doing it, not cos other kids in school think it's 'not fair'. Little kids think an awful lot of things aren't fair, doesn't mean that they are or they aren't, or that teachers have to pay attention to them.

@Hotelhelp easy to judge why?

My dd has zoom lessons but we don't have a camera so she can't be seen, however she's not been out of her PJs to do any lessons and I would be annoyed if I was being told that was essential so as not to upset the other kids in school. We all live in our comfys when we are in our own home and can't see how wearing anythin else would enable learning. My ds's don't have zoom and do all their home learning in PJs.

Depends.

What is offered by the school exactly?
Do the children at home have live classes throughout the day and feedback and support?

Then fair enough to ask for appropriate wear.

Do children at home have 10 minutes when they get to see that half their class is with the teacher having normal days, when they are stuck and forgotten at home?

So many schools have completely forgotten and abandoned kids at home, so my reply would very much depend on what provisions are offered.

and that's not an attack against an individual teacher, I am amazed by the difference between schools.

Yes absolutely to the heating issue. We cant afford the heating to be on all day, live in rented old accommodation which we have done our best to insulate but its still cold when the heating has been on a while. We wear normal clothes and then if it gets a bit colder will sit with blankets or in a onesie. It works really well for keeping comfortable without rinsing our budget! Makes me sad how many of you assume a onesie is because people can’t be bothered to get dressed!

@WorraLiberty It seems like most of the 'being able to go to school' jealousy is coming from the parents here, not so much the kids.

Most Primary kids would prefer to be in school.
Most parents homeschooling are fed up on behalf of their kids being second class students.

They're really not trying to run it as a "school" termtime feel at either end really - very much accepting that it's strange circumstances and taking the formality level down a bit... the morning calls - that are basically talking through work and checking the kids are OK - usually have at least 3-4 kids eating breakfast on them - it's more social and reducing isolation than anything else
My school is similar. We aren't running a normal school day for those who are in. Students who are in school have the same material as those at home. We even have the in school students and home students in the same Teams call and let them talk to each other.

We expect students to be dressed appropriately for learning and those on site wear their uniform

These aren't normal times, but this thread is making me laugh. Some people really do engage in mental gymnastics to be outraged at a request for pupils to be dressed on a morning.

Sorry that should say been off a while

Slightly confused by those who seem to be assuming that a kid in a onesie must not have had a wash. Surely some people (and certainly some kids) atm will be putting on a clean onesie after washing/showering, if they're only going to be staying home all day?

I'm going to go against the grain here OP, and say YANBU. In current times I really don't think this kind of thing is important. So long as they haven't just got up and aren't too sleepy to learn, surely the learning is all that matters.

Would you comment if the teacher did the zoom meeting in their dressing gown?

Our school has a no camera on policy for safe guarding reasons, I thought other schools would be the same?

DS would never start school in PJs etc, he'd be mortified if the camera suddenly turned on

@FreshFancyFrogglette

YANBU!!! Definitley not being unreasonable at all. Am sorry, my dc at home are jealous that they haven't seen anyone their own age in 6 weeks, and are missing out on face to face education.. Wearing a onsie is miniscule compensation for that!! And no they can't tell u what to do in your own home. I would tell them to fuck off (well, words to that effect anyway!)

Really?! Is this how people think? I honesty think I’ll hand my notice in. I’m teaching both face to face and online. My 4 children are partially online and partially face to face. We are told by the DfE to make sure that pupils are appropriately dressed otherwise we are seen as ‘culpable’ or not good enough. I can’t stand this teacher bashing anymore. I have worked so hard and volunteered to lateral flow test to keep pupils and their families safe. I’ve sent my children in despite the risk but I have to listen to this sensationalist stuff. Thanks.

I'm jealous of all the live stuff everyone seems to be getting.

I'd make kids wear anything the school demanded in return for some human interaction.

IME a lot of schools are just doing the home learning in school and otherwise managing a lot of kids with problem behaviours and anxious kids and parents with complicated personal lives or stressful key worker jobs, with different staff than normal. Not running Art or PE sessions. They don't usually have their own teacher or their usual 1:1 support if eligible. Not the same support from SENCO or other support. Teachers have a massively increased workload, so any time they would be helping in school students on digital lessons (the ones who are in their normal classroom teaching the right age group that is) are distracted with the software and needs of home learning students, trying to safeguard remotely, etc. They don't also have the time or resources to give the kids who are in school extra help. Kids at home are missing out but so are kids at school. Everyone is losing out. And The teachers are being torn in every direction (I am not a teacher btw!)

Teachers are being tasked with safeguarding from a distance. Usually they will only have a few minutes (or less!) to assess whether there are any obvious safeguarding concerns in the screen view. Asking that the children are dressed just ticks one box off very easily. Whereas seeing a child in the same pjs every day would mean further safeguarding, follow up from the school with the parent or social services, when actually the child is clean and everything just favours a onesie (which looks like it's being worn every day but actually gets washed and tumbled every evening). They only have these tiny windows. It's unlikely they will witness a domestic violence incident (although there was a child whose mum was shot during an online lesson in Florida, and I'm sure there will be more incidents if there haven't been already), or a parent injecting drugs or drinking special brew at 9am or whatever, but they can notice if the child appears to be clean and dressed. If they are not it could be a sign there are bigger issues.

Is it really that hard to get them to pull some jeans and a hoody on (over their pjs if necessary!), brush their teeth and run a brush through their hair? If it is then maybe your child is in the kind of vulnerable situation that warrants a raised safeguarding concern, or a school place?

It sounds like the school did word it poorly, but the over arching message is "make a minimal effort or we will be worried"

HHMommy "Most Primary kids would prefer to be in school"

Do you have a link to the source please? I've had a quick Google but I can't find anything. It's just bringing up 'school admissions' so I'm probably typing the wrong thing in.

If you can’t see how ridiculous it is that teachers have to even send this message out.....then there’s no hope.

It seems like most of the 'being able to go to school' jealousy is coming from the parents here, not so much the kids.

It's not jealousy at all, but most Primary schools kids I know are upset about not going to school: they miss their friends, they miss playing with them, they find the dynamic of a class much more fun, they miss chatting and discussing. In my kids school, they spend a lot of time outside too, and doing outdoor stuff as a group is not the same as being in your garden alone, if you even have one.

It might work better for a teen, but for many Primary kids - age 5 to 10 roughly- you can't compare messing around with friends and staring at a screen and filling in sheets of paper.

There are a couple who are delighted to miss schools, but given the choice the majority would be at school.

It's more important than ever to try to give some usual structure to the day. The dc should get dressed and be ready on time each school day.