Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

“No onesies please as it makes the children in school jealous”

954 replies

Lemons1571 · 30/01/2021 15:43

A message from the head of our primary. Please could all parents at home please ensure their primary children are fully dressed in day clothes ready for their class 9am zoom. No onesies. Apparently the children actually allowed to go to school are annoyed seeing their classmates lounging at home in onesies / pj’s / loungewear.

Ummm, I’m sorry, I thought I heard you issuing instructions on what I must / must not do in my own house. What possible authority does a school have to do this? Kids forced out of face to face education. Being shown some lovely examples of the artwork done by the kids at school over zoom with the caveat “oh don’t worry I know you can’t do this at home”.

Read the room ffs. Just another request to put other people’s children before my own. As it happens my primary child gets dressed of his own accord, but if he wanted to wear a onesie then quite frankly anyone else’s opinion can fuck off.

Physically going to school = uniform worn as per school rules.
Physically barred from school = my house my rules.

No doubt I’m overreacting but it annoyed me!

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 30/01/2021 22:43

Your goady "how will11 year old DC manage in life without live zoom lessons" are just putting you in a bad light I am afraid.
Why? Because I find it laughable that despite research evidence saying that live vs not live is not the main factor in effective remote learning, Mumsnet is full of posters lamenting that their child is going to have their life chances ruined if they don't have video lessons at an arbitrary frequency thay suits the parents' opinion?

Don't pretend that all the children at school are vulnerable. We all know it's not true. Maybe you happen to work in a more deprived area, or maybe you are just hypocritical.
I do work in a deprived area and believe it or not when I didn't work in a deprived area and have worked in outstanding schools we still had some fairly horrible safeguarding cases.
Schools are open to vulnerable children and the children of key workers. I've never said otherwise.

Most kids in my kids classes are not vulnerable, have parents who could very well keep them home but chose to use the school, because it's easier, because it's better for their children to be with teacher and friends than stuck at home - they are not wrong there.
You know the details of all the children in your children's classes do you?
SAH mothers who don't deny that keeping the children home would take away all their time.
I don't doubt some people take advantage of the situation and might send their child in even if they could easily be kept at home. If you have an issue with that then lobby your MP to push for the rules to be changed. If their child is entitled to a place by law then they're entitled to the place.

I don't believe you are genuine, otherwise you would be the first to understand why keeping school ONLY for vulnerable children and critical workers is a necessity.
I've not mentioned opening to more people at all on this thread. Hmm
I've just been on another thread about this. In an ideal world I would like to see the definition of a key worker tightened further. . The sad reality is that doing so would mean more women disproportionately paying the cost as they have to give up work and that has significant social costs that.

Too many kids increase the risk of class sent in isolation. Your vulnerable children are now sent home for 2 weeks instead of being at home. Your critical worker cannot work because their young child is at home.

If you were genuine, you would acknowledge that's it's a reality.
I see, so to be genuine I have to:
Agree with you
Ignore research evidence in favour of the posters who repeatedly claim live video lessons are better because their opinion has the same weight.
Not point out that lots of the moaning on here comes from people with privilege and that their proposed actions would actively harm the disadvantaged children they pretend to care about.

Caaarrrl · 30/01/2021 22:46

paws if they don't have a camera then they can borrow a device from school. We have lent out many so thstvpupils can access lessons and meetings.

It is not safe for them to be on the meeting if we cannot see who they are. It could be anyone watching and/filming other people's children and doing god knows what.

Safeguarding is paramount.

CornishPastyDownUnder · 30/01/2021 22:49

Wow @Lemons1571 your opinion is just one of the many reason we decided to homeschool years ago when DC were in primary..along with the blind adherence to regime/indoctrination and eradication of personality/individuality(just our take before i get flamed lol).
Fortunately the country we live in is very supportive with social events, meet ups, camps&all kinds of supported curriculums as long as you tick the various state boxes for learning outcomes and complete a yearly plan/review. Get paid an allowance for homeschooling too with college and uni having alternate entry pathways forHS access should your kids be following an academic pathway.Happy days...
I should add we also have had a grand total of 909 covid deaths &virtually no impact in our state(so yeah we have it easy compared to what you're experiencing).
Unfortunately due to the amount of teachers on mumsnet and any attempt to put your own DC before the class of 20-30 others , well you wont be hearing any support ; )
Maybe have a think about homeschooling as a permanent option.

LolaSmiles · 30/01/2021 22:56

CornishPastyDownUnder
That sounds really interesting.
My DC aren't primary aged yet and whether to have to home educate is currently a hot topic in our house. DH isn't keen, but I think the system is too much on younger children. I think we start formal learning too young and would much rather have a more relaxed start with no statutory tests. We've got a little time to throw our different opinions around yet.

Itsnotlikethiswithotherpeople · 30/01/2021 23:00

YANBU and I say that as someone with a child who is school part of the week. I also seriously doubt it came from the children. HT is just using them as a scapegoat.

Londonmummy66 · 30/01/2021 23:02

when they stop showing the children in school having a lovely time and upsetting those who are stuck at home they can start talking about jealousy....

THis has to be one of the most tin earred things I've hearded in a long time.

RootyT00t · 30/01/2021 23:04

@RandomGrammarPun

It's definitely not on for schools or teachers to be making a point of mentioning fun things the kids in school are doing that those at home can't.
Many of the children at school aren't and can't do things the kids at home are doing, it goes both ways.
Dustyboots · 30/01/2021 23:04

So, since it's an easy fix, why would you be so angry about it, so dismissive of upset children?

Maybe it's not such an easy fix @rawlikesushi - in our house getting up late and wearing comfortable clothes ie pyjamas is the one consolation for missing school and missing friends. Being stuck inside the same 4 walls day in day out. Seeing no one but the same 3 people day in day out.

What's the easy fix you could provide for the school learners? Could they swap one of their days in school with one of the home learners. An hour maybe. Maybe just half an hour. My kids would love half an hour in school a day doing something different/seeing someone different. Perhaps you could arrange that for the home learners in return for taking their onesies off every day.

Whitecup4 · 30/01/2021 23:04

Yanbu

ivegotthisyeah · 30/01/2021 23:08

Nah your not over reacting, I'd be like well please no cheeky lazy fuckers send your kids to school when you clearly work at home like the rest of us ( proper key workers exempt)
I'd be fuming

ivegotthisyeah · 30/01/2021 23:10

Exactly want @Londonmummy66 said

TwelvePaws · 30/01/2021 23:21

It is not safe for them to be on the meeting if we cannot see who they are. It could be anyone watching and/filming other people's children and doing god knows what.

My kids schools don’t allow cameras at all due to ‘safeguarding’. It’s interesting that safeguarding means different things to different schools. It’s hard to believe that schools thing kids are safer on camera than off.

I know my daughters secondary school has given out all their devices now, they wouldn’t have had enough if they had to provide them to all the kids that didn’t have a camera.

TwelvePaws · 30/01/2021 23:23

*think

squeekums · 31/01/2021 01:11

Screw that
My house, my rules
YANBU OP

Jellybaby4 · 31/01/2021 01:33

No it it is not a fair request at all.
My children sometimes wear lounge wear during their zoom call, it is at 9 am, so they havnt been up that long, I know normally they would be at school, but this isn't normal, so they are staying in bed longer. My home my rules.
I k

NoseinBook3 · 31/01/2021 03:03

Mine have to have their uniform on for their half hour online class each day

LizFlowers · 31/01/2021 05:09

@NoseinBook3

Mine have to have their uniform on for their half hour online class each day
:-)

Hardly worth putting it on for half an hour!

I doubt they actually have to, the school can request it of course but parents don't have to agree. What would the school do, have you arrested?

I'd leave it up to the children to decide what to wear.

LizFlowers · 31/01/2021 05:12

@Jellybaby4

No it it is not a fair request at all. My children sometimes wear lounge wear during their zoom call, it is at 9 am, so they havnt been up that long, I know normally they would be at school, but this isn't normal, so they are staying in bed longer. My home my rules. I k
A person after my own heart! Same applies to squeekums above you.

To be honest, if there was no school and I wasn't going to work, I doubt any of us would be up by 9am and certainly not in the mood for being on camera.

LizFlowers · 31/01/2021 05:17

NotGenerationAlpha, I agree with you that not all kids prefer being at school and certainly not at the moment with all the windows open and freezing cold. No thank you! Much nicer to be at home in the warm.

DryHeave · 31/01/2021 05:20

I’m surprised kids at home having virtual lessons aren’t in their uniform (or at least uniform top). Surely it’s good for your mental health to have a divide between “school mode” and “home mode”?

RosesAndLemonade · 31/01/2021 05:23

@NoseinBook3

Mine have to have their uniform on for their half hour online class each day
Oh that's a bit much!
LizFlowers · 31/01/2021 05:25

[quote RootyT00t]@LizFlowers
Not attending zoom lessons is now marked as non attendance.[/quote]
I wouldn't care about that, I'd just go missing. I'm sure any child of mine would not fall behind, they'd be learning and creative without having to be conformist.

motherrunner · 31/01/2021 05:53

Little difference in circumstances as I’m a secondary teacher but my pupils have to wear ‘appropriate’ clothing for their live lessons. I would find it disrespectful if I was teaching to pupils in nightwear, almost like they couldn’t be bothered to get dressed.

SexyGiraffe · 31/01/2021 05:58

YABU - it's not a lot to ask and it helps the children differentiate between learning time and playtime.

SuperCaliFragalistic · 31/01/2021 06:20

I expect my children to be dressed, breakfast, teeth and hair brushed in time for their morning zoom lessons when they're at home. It puts them in the right frame of mind.