“No onesies please as it makes the children in school jealous”

[Lemons1571]

A message from the head of our primary. Please could all parents at home please ensure their primary children are fully dressed in day clothes ready for their class 9am zoom. No onesies. Apparently the children actually allowed to go to school are annoyed seeing their classmates lounging at home in onesies / pj’s / loungewear.

Ummm, I’m sorry, I thought I heard you issuing instructions on what I must / must not do in my own house. What possible authority does a school have to do this? Kids forced out of face to face education. Being shown some lovely examples of the artwork done by the kids at school over zoom with the caveat “oh don’t worry I know you can’t do this at home”.

Read the room ffs. Just another request to put other people’s children before my own. As it happens my primary child gets dressed of his own accord, but if he wanted to wear a onesie then quite frankly anyone else’s opinion can fuck off.

Physically going to school = uniform worn as per school rules.
Physically barred from school = my house my rules.

No doubt I’m overreacting but it annoyed me!

Clearly the OP is looking for an echo chamber and not a real, critical view to AIBU. My mistake.

@mummyinbeccles but I never said that key worker kids are lucky. All kids are unlucky. Just cut everyone some bloody slack

DD has to wear uniform on the days she is at home doing online learning

[quote Blessex]@mummyinbeccles but I never said that key worker kids are lucky. All kids are unlucky. Just cut everyone some bloody slack[/quote]
Cut everyone some slack?! How am I not doing that? Please stop. You have no idea.

I think a onsie for home learning is fine. My child is 5 and has 1 hour a week of teacher live time. He is a bright kid but finds home learning tough and we have developed multiple strategies to try to get him to do his work, while we also juggle our full time jobs. Sure he could wear smarter clothes but it's not a battle I'd be prepared to have. Whatever works is my attitude.

I don't think there is any fairness in this situation or any winners. My son desperately wants to be at school. He misses other kids and his teacher. When he is there he will wear his uniform and follow the rules. I know I am no replacement for a fully trained teacher. I'm sure some of the kids at school want to be at home. Maybe some of their parents wish they could be too.

One of the many perks of distance learning for my ASD child is that she is getting to wear the super soft cotton nightgowns that she finds so comfortable instead of clothing that causes her stress. On a zoom call they just look like long sleeve shirts. I’m not making her change.

@LongCOVID

My primary DD has a weekly zoom class assembly. Last week, every child physically in school got an award for doing maths/english online. None of the children working from home got an award, even though they spent f*ing hours working, completing bollocks-loads of work, whilst families tried to work from home, juggle their own work, and kept everyone safe and fed. So no, YANBU because some schools seem to want it both ways. It doesn't work like that.

Perhaps the school is presuming the parents are rewarding their *home* educated child

[quote Blessex]@mummyinbeccles but I never said that key worker kids are lucky. All kids are unlucky. Just cut everyone some bloody slack[/quote]
I did not send the email but I empathise with the content. Please learn empathy. Do not ask me to ‘cut slack’. I am not doing anything.

I don’t understand the territorial rage “how dare teachers tell my children what to wear in our own home!” Would you feel the same if your boss requested that you not wear pyjamas when working from home? If not, why? Why can a workplace “control” what you wear but not a school?

[quote Blessex]@ComDummings thank you. I am in tears as a full time working mum trying to manage with two kids with posters calling me a twat[/quote]
Please don’t cry, I am a SAHM with 2 primary children and that is tough enough on all of us, you’re working on top of it all, working parents who don’t have keyworker jobs have the absolute toughest deal at the moment. You’re doing amazingly. I find it upsetting myself when I see posters say ‘it’s just the Mums who are jealous that keyworker kids are in school.’ Having to deal with homeschooling while seeing your children become sad, down, angry, anxious and so on is awful. My five year old was crying on Friday when she saw her friend was in the classroom in one live lesson. Sorry I am going off on a tangent @Blessex! But you’re doing a great job x

@Hotelhelp I am still intrigued why you think I am a twat

@FenEel

I don’t understand the territorial rage “how dare teachers tell my children what to wear in our own home!” Would you feel the same if your boss requested that you not wear pyjamas when working from home? If not, why? Why can a workplace “control” what you wear but not a school?

Because they’re children and not employees

@ComDummings thank you. I am actually in tears with all this crap. Thank you x

Our LA has strict rules about appropriate dress on video calls. It’s not appropriate for children to be seen in nightwear by any adult in another child’s house for safeguarding reasons. Our LA also insists any child video calling from a bedroom has their background blurred.

[quote Blessex]@ComDummings thank you. I am actually in tears with all this crap. Thank you x[/quote]
That's the second time you've mentioned you're in tears

What is it that's bothering you?

I kind of agree with you OP.

It cant all always to everyone's benefit except your own during this pandemic. If education was carrying on normally then fair enough but it's not. My ds never turns his camera on as where he sits has a kalax shelf behind him with some wine and gin on. Ds thinks it reflects badly on him so he doesn't have the Camara on. I didnt even know this until last week.

Should ds turn the laptop 10 degrees to take focus off my four-six bottles of alcohol? Should school accept that adults drink but having alcohol in the house does mean its touched every week? Or should I rearrange my living room into a class room?

It is my house. It was never on the cards it would be a classroom. So it's a small reasonable adjustment but what's next after that? Full uniform for half a hour of zoom?

It's nothing like working from home in your Pjs. You cant get sacked from school and good luck expelling a child because their fully clothed home school attire doesnt cut the mustard.

If grown adults shop in slippers Pjs and fluffy dressing gown and that's ok in society then this is where we naturally end up I think

Perhaps the school is presuming the parents are rewarding their home educated child

so by the same token I can stop giving praise and bonuses to my staff working from home and give them only to someone who is in the office? They can get a reward from their partner at home.

@Wiredforsound

Oh for gods sake, just stick a jumper on your kid. Jesus Christ, if you can make a school’s day just a little bit easier why wouldn’t you? They’ve probably asked because some other dopey parent is complaining about it. Find a bigger hill to die on because this is just stupid.

She doesn't want to make things easier for the school, because she seems think the school is to blame for 'forcing her children out of education' and thinks this is 'another request' to put other children before her own, although she doesn't say what other things she has been asked to do to prioritise other children. The children of keyworkers are not in school because their education is more important, but their parents' jobs are more important to the country at the moment..

@WorraLiberty what is bothering me is all the judgement. Women eating women. People worrying about stuff that frankly is short term and doesnt actually matter. Do clothes really matter?

Should ds turn the laptop 10 degrees to take focus off my four-six bottles of alcohol? Should school accept that adults drink but having alcohol in the house does mean its touched every week? Or should I rearrange my living room into a class room?

Or you could just move the booze bottles

Our school ask for children to be in uniform Monday to Thursday (and give house points) and non uniform Friday. I think it's perfectly reasonable. I would never expect a child to have lessons ( online or otherwise) in pyjamas or a onesie!

[quote Blessex]@WorraLiberty what is bothering me is all the judgement. Women eating women. People worrying about stuff that frankly is short term and doesnt actually matter. Do clothes really matter?[/quote]
Yes, clothes matter to most schools - hence why a huge amount of them have a uniform policy.

But I wouldn't cry about it. If this thread is making you do that, perhaps take a break from reading it?

Totally reasonable to request children are dressed appropriately.

@WorraLiberty maybe we should all come and live at yours worra. Sounds you are holier than thou

Nope.

We're not leaving the fucking house, we're not getting dressed.

My kiddo does his school work wearing whatever he has on and I'm not dragging him out of it to benefit kids in class.