Suicide

[Spiratedaway]

One of my friends killed them selves at the weekend and now another one last night both men ..... devastated ... covid is taking lives in every factor

Please dont delete this thread ..ex mental health nurse here ..dealt with many suicides over the years..the shame and denial and secrecy surrounding suicide does not help ...I understand and generally agree with the Samaritans and the 'contagion 'theory but I feel strongly that open and honest discussion is needed too . I have had frank and non judgemental discussion with suicidal.patients and have sometimes helped them see how its a long term solution to a short term problem and the devastation caused to family and friends is lifelong . Having a place on here to talk openly in this desperate time , with caveats , could be of use .

I know one man but he had tried over the years several times and no amount of help made any difference. Sad for his family. Late wife us sad, angry, so many emotions. Wasn't covid though just was always up and down.
Some people don't talk and just sink so low

@Spiratedaway

I am so ducking angry no one mentions it it is all covid covid covid

That's because the COVID death toll is so much worse. Very sorry for your loss. All bereavements are terrible and suicide is particularly difficult for those left behind.

We lost a friend to suicide yesterday. He had so so much in his life yet the pandemic meant his business folded and it was his creation of 15 years. It's brutal. We have also lost 3 family members to Covid -19.

@MerlinsSaggyLeftTit

A family member of mine works in ICU and after the first wave they said that the amount of attempted suicides they had on the unit was staggering. They are used to a certain amount, but it was over and beyond anything they had seen before. It makes you think about all those who never got to a hospital. Terribly sad.

That's interesting. That it was after the first wave, I mean. I've been pondering this. For myself, there is an element of dragging myself on through it, surviving. But when it's over and I have to face up to all that has been lost I don't know how I will. I believe this is a pattern that can happen with mental health - people survive a thing, but fall apart afterwards once "safe". I fear the spike in suicides will come as most people are relishing returning to their old life, whilst those who have lost too much won't be able to go on.

@Spiratedaway I'm so sorry to hear this has happened. As you say... Devastating. There's a great charity in UK called Support after Suicide, their website is supportaftersuicide.org.uk. there is also a free book called Help is at Hand, I think you can order one from the website. I hope it helps xxx

I attempted suicide yesterday. I do know that I don't want to do it but it seems like the only option when the pressure is too much. The biggest factor is the lack of support. My DP is in a job which puts him at risk. We put a childcare bubble in place a few weeks ago when I attempted suicide, as we felt the risk to my mental health outweighed the risk of covid. Then my DP had to self isolate after coming in to contact with a positive case at work and I felt it was the responsible thing to do to close down my childcare bubble. But that has meant I'm left with two infant aged children to home school and a 6 month old to look after and no opportunity for respite. I have PND and PTSD as it is. I have had PND twice before and my contingency this time was to surround myself with support, but I can't do that now. Suicide felt like my only option to escape the demands that I can't live up to. I hate myself for it and I'm desperate to get better but getting better is not an easy task given the restrictions of covid. Covid hasn't made me suicidal on it's own, but it has taken away my safety net.

I don't mean for my post to sound "woe is me", just that I can understand the strain that various people are under. My partner said recently that this is taking a toll on people with good mental health, let alone those with poor mental health ordinarily who are being expected to deal with more due to the circumstances.

Interestingly, historically the lowest suicide rates seen were during the 2nd World War. It's thought that it was because there was a common enemy to mobilise people. Whereas, with a pandemic, there's nothing that we as individuals can do to fight it, we are immobilised. We just have to "sit tight" and wait it out, away from our support networks. That immobilisation leads many to feel that there is only one choice that is within our control and it is the ultimate one.

@althesharks so sorry to hear about your situation 😔 can’t imagine how hard it must be for you coping with all of that and I guess you’re probably sleep deprived on top of everything too. I hope you’re getting support. I’m sending you some love right now. You’ll get through this just take one day at a time. Total utter cliche but it’s the only way. Do what you need to do to get through the day xxxx

"But it has taken away my safety net."
This.
I have no respite. No alone time. I cannot sleep but I am so tired. I want to see my dad in person. I cannot cope with DH being here gobbling up food I make. DD has SEN and we cannot have a place because we aren't key workers. I don't want to tell a gossipy school about my MH. If it weren't for DD this would be the last straw. I am starting to wonder whether she'd be better off without me. If she had a mother with a career she'd be at school and happier and not stuck at home. Then I think, she's lost everything. She needs me.

@StormyInTheNorth that’s really tough for you xx She definately wouldn’t It be better off without you Can your DH help you more?Can you arrange certain times where he is in charge and you can go and have a nap or just go for a walk or something? X

@itsmeagainagain he gives me hour after dinner. I fall asleep straight away. Then I can't sleep at night. DD will be up and wanting breakfast at 7. Then it is home school. Then another afternoon of nothingness. She is very very attached to me and routine led. Lockdown has made her clingier than ever so it is like having a 2 year old with no clubs or anywhere to go aside from the supermarket or for yet another walk.

@stormyinthenorth you need lots more time 😞 how about weekends or days off? Can you have a big chunk of time just for you? Anyone you can do a childcare support bubble with? Hopefully won’t be too much longer for schools to back to normal.... hang in there xxxx you can do this 💪

I am so sorry for your loss OP.
And to all those struggling.

I don't want to derail this thread so I apologise in advance but I find some of the responses here just staggering.

What I find staggering is that there are posters there saying that people who commit suicide during the pandemic will have had serious problems and issues before then, so it can't be all the fault of covid etc as it's not as if they were fine before all of this.
So, how is that statement OK but people are screamed at and reported and called heartless to point out that many covid deaths had pre existing conditions and so "its not like they were fine before all of this".

FTR I'm not saying either viewpoint is morally right, just pointing out the hypocrisy.

@allthesharks

I attempted suicide yesterday. I do know that I don't want to do it but it seems like the only option when the pressure is too much. The biggest factor is the lack of support. My DP is in a job which puts him at risk. We put a childcare bubble in place a few weeks ago when I attempted suicide, as we felt the risk to my mental health outweighed the risk of covid. Then my DP had to self isolate after coming in to contact with a positive case at work and I felt it was the responsible thing to do to close down my childcare bubble. But that has meant I'm left with two infant aged children to home school and a 6 month old to look after and no opportunity for respite. I have PND and PTSD as it is. I have had PND twice before and my contingency this time was to surround myself with support, but I can't do that now. Suicide felt like my only option to escape the demands that I can't live up to. I hate myself for it and I'm desperate to get better but getting better is not an easy task given the restrictions of covid. Covid hasn't made me suicidal on it's own, but it has taken away my safety net.

Oh my darling are you getting help ? X

@LivinLaVidaLoki

I am so sorry for your loss OP. And to all those struggling.

I don't want to derail this thread so I apologise in advance but I find some of the responses here just staggering.

What I find staggering is that there are posters there saying that people who commit suicide during the pandemic will have had serious problems and issues before then, so it can't be all the fault of covid etc as it's not as if they were fine before all of this.
So, how is that statement OK but people are screamed at and reported and called heartless to point out that many covid deaths had pre existing conditions and so "its not like they were fine before all of this".

I totally agree with this x

Spiratedaway and LivinLaVidaLoki agree totally with you both.

My MH has deteriorated over the past year - not as seriously as many though as I'm lucky enough to be able to keep going out to work in my office (not in healthcare or teaching ) Yes I have had 'problems' for the past ten years but they were well under control and almost beaten. The restrictions, closing of gyms, winter, long dark days and nothing to look forward to have brought them back. There must be around 60 million people who have had no connection with Covid but who are suffering from the restrictions

Spiritedaway I'm so sorry about your friends. Don't know what to say !!

@LivinLaVidaLoki

I am so sorry for your loss OP. And to all those struggling.

I don't want to derail this thread so I apologise in advance but I find some of the responses here just staggering.

What I find staggering is that there are posters there saying that people who commit suicide during the pandemic will have had serious problems and issues before then, so it can't be all the fault of covid etc as it's not as if they were fine before all of this.
So, how is that statement OK but people are screamed at and reported and called heartless to point out that many covid deaths had pre existing conditions and so "its not like they were fine before all of this".

@LivinLaVidaLoki If you are referring to my response I think you have misunderstood. I was doing the same as you, pointing out the hypocrisy though I don’t agree with either viewpoint. I have severe longstanding mental health problems myself, as well as physical issues, so I have a great deal of understanding for those suffering.

@justanotherneighinparadise I'm sorry to read that you are struggling so much at the moment, do you have any support around you at present?

Just heard about Michael Norcross, It doesnt state suicide but reading between the lines, another reality star, there seem so many that take their own lives.

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2021/jan/22/mick-norcross-former-the-only-way-is-essex-towie-star-dies-aged-57

[quote Jenasaurus]Just heard about Michael Norcross, It doesnt state suicide but reading between the lines, another reality star, there seem so many that take their own lives.

www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2021/jan/22/mick-norcross-former-the-only-way-is-essex-towie-star-dies-aged-57[/quote]
It was suicide x

Please dont delete this thread ..ex mental health nurse here ..dealt with many suicides over the years..the shame and denial and secrecy surrounding suicide does not help ...I understand and generally agree with the Samaritans and the 'contagion 'theory but I feel strongly that open and honest discussion is needed too.

I so agree with this - why are people trying to shut down a discussion that could actually be helpful to people with nowhere else to turn? Just jog on!

I’m so sorry for your loss OP, that’s terrible I remember watching Mick in TOWIE and he seemed a lovely man x

So sorry for your loss OP. I'd only ever seen Mick on TOWIE but he came across as a thoroughly nice and decent gentleman

I know so many people who a re at their wits end with it all. Losing jobs, having babies with no support structure in place, no money, no life. Im lucky that this lockdown I'm just about to go on maternity leave and have my first baby. As someone who has struggled in my past with MH, it is the only thing that is keeping me going. And ive been lucky to have worked throughout the pandemic. I can't imagine how hard it is on those that have lost jobs and have bills to pay and mouths to feed :(

Thanks everyone Mick was a lovely generous kind man and I have happy memories x