Thread for anyone who is just totally miserable and fed up

[YouBoughtMeAWall]

Have a whinge, let it out, no judgement.

I’m not doing well. And I don’t feel like I should say that because others are doing far worse but I am sodding miserable. Every day feels pointless. I feel completely stuck and I know things are going to be hard for a long time. They were already hard before covid. It’s worse now.

Yes. It’s shit. Trying to get home learning done with a P1 and a P4, get fresh air during the ten seconds of daylight - if it’s not pissing with rain. DH at work and I’m doing everything and I need to look for a job and my feet have been cold since September and I’m four stone overweight and I haven’t seen my parents since 2019. Sick of refereeing the DC all the time. First lockdown was so much easier, I got loads done in the house and garden but the novelty has most definitely worn off now.

Yep. Although my 2 Yr old still goes 2 morning a week to pre school.
I have 1 homeschooling teen who I battle with daily because he likes to think its a bloody holiday.. Yet every other rule he fully abides by. He's just doesn't enjoy education whatsoever.
And a baby.
Dh works long hours 6 days a week.

My father who is a line parent is our bubble. May see him an odd time but normally a weekend.

The 2 Yr old is very demanding again. Because we're used to being out and about.
The house has never been in such a state.. Its tidy the end of each day but it doesn't feel clean like it used to. I think it's down to normally clean at night. Up and out the door in morning. It felt fresher longer. Now it just doesn't.. I used to suffer with ocd and this hugely is starting to bother me now and feel I'm getting anxious about it again. In fact I'm. Thinking of getting out of bed and deep Cleaning the kitchen all night.

But ik feel awful for moaning because like the pp who has been unfortunate with work and ssp. We've been incredibly lucky thay dh has worked all bar 2m of furlough but had some other work while on furlough. So we didn't suffer any financial loss in fact a gain. But money doesn't make me happy and I'm not bothered about it. I just need to be able to get out the house.

It’s shit and I don’t even have kids to home school. I hate my house that I used to love because I’m in it so often and keep finding faults. I hate teaching online and I hate trying to manage my team virtually. I hate that I can’t see an end date to all this. My bipolar disorder is bad again after having a good couple of years. I feel guilty that all in all I’ve got a good life I can’t find it in myself to feel grateful

I'm finding it very hard. There are 5 people in our house, we have one table that parents abs youngest two are crowded around. Eldest is upstairs on her own, I feel guilty about that.
Youngest two can't concentrate on anything really and drive each other mad. I am trying to keep on top of a busy job that has deadlines that can't be missed, and all day I have to listen to DH calls which are very loud.
I am craving time on my own in the quiet, I am worried and guilty for all the kids in different ways and I just don't want to be in the same room as him any more.
I'm staying up way too late just to carve out some private space for ME.

I'm trying with lists/ routines and sometimes it helps. But not today.

My problems are tiny compared with many here. I'm not trying entertain a toddler or homeschool.
to you all.

Anyone else also have awful nightmares sometimes? To the point where I wake up shaking.

I'm waiting for a hip replacement. Have been waiting over a year and likely to be waiting another one. Couldn't go out and exercise if I wanted to. We've had snow on the ground since Christmas! Keep telling myself that the year has turned and the sun might shine soon!

@dingit

Anyone else also have awful nightmares sometimes? To the point where I wake up shaking.

I am having the most bizarre dreams. Not totally nightmares but dreams where I’m really uncomfortable. I wake up feeling really bleaurgh.

I have a tip. Ask at your local church if you can book a private prayer session (just you, not with a minister). Take a book, flask of tea and just sit in peace for an hour. Your church might even be open for walk-ins. Take a mask and relax for a while, if someone can watch the kids at home. Churches are fabulous places to rest in, whether or not you're religious.

I’m a bit fed up as well today.

Have my lovely 7.5 month DC and on maternity leave. I love her but she is hard work and will not be left alone for more than a few minutes. I am due back to work in April and am freaked that she won’t cope at nursery as she has ever interacted with people much.

In a two bed flat with no garden. I love this flat but I am sick of looking at it. I just want to go out to lunch or even go to M&S to buy myself a sandwich.

I at the very least would like my parents to be able to meet my baby but as they are in a different country this won’t happen for some time!

I got by totally fine in 2020 really. I am a single mum and I was determined to not let it all get me down and make the best of it but I feel like 2021 has broken me already!

School are putting big pressure on us to submit all the kids work and there is so much! Like a full day's school work and it's so hard to get them to do it especially ds. I feel like I have turned into the worst most naggy mum and he's resistant and rude and tearful. It's awful and I get so frustrated no matter how positive and upbeat I start the day. Then I feel so guilty and awful for not being a more patient mum

I can't remember the last time I talked to an adult except for the Tesco delivery driver or ds's teacher who phoned me to ask why ds hadn't finished all his work.
My family and friends are all still working and sending their kids to school (which I know is hard and probably worrying for them) I just feel stuck in an isolated, miserable little bubble.

I know I need to stay off SM because all I see is people being horrid to each other and a thread on here has just tipped me over the edge and I can't stop crying which is totally unlike me normally.

Sorry I feel bad moaning about not coping when I'm furloughed and other people are trying to work and school!

Sending you all good wishes and

I'm struggling. I'm a lone parent and although I have a bf the kids don't know him and won't until this is all over, I only see him once a week and the kids go to their dads 2 nights out of 7, although his contribution to home learning has been minimal so far...Had a very angry teary day yesterday, highly anxious today. Panic rising. So overwhelmed by everything, worried about everything. Just finished a zoom call with some mum friends and they all feel the same. Just fed up of working, teaching online, trying to get the DC to do even minimal work, prise them away from their screens and get them to sleep even partly normal hours.
I miss just seeing my friends, a full calendar of people coming over, dinners, drinks...I see my bf once a week so that's something but the 5 nights a week I'm alone with the kids it's relentless.
Teaching online is shite, I teach art so it's really hard, I crave the banter with the kids, not the stream of endless 'I don't understand' emails or, 'I don't have a pencil' or the constant checking when half the class don't do it, then the emails, then the phone calls...and the bloody Google meets...if there's never another it will be too soon...
But. I danced round the kitchen to Lizzo today, with my 5 year old, ignoring the swearing and completely inappropriate lyrics, I bought a new bird feeder yesterday and it's been a joy seeing them going crazy for it. I'll have a bottle of wine tomorrow night and watch whatever I want on Netflix, I'll have a day off Sunday and go for a big walk with my bf, it'll be good to get out.

Start again Monday. It's not forever (fucking feels like it!)

I’m horribly horribly miserable and crying reading this thread

I had a baby in autumn 2019, got pnd and then the pandemic hit and I’m now at the point where I don’t know if it’s pnd, lockdown or just that I’m a shit mum

I long for the days when I can take him out to different places without worrying someone is going to dob me in for sitting on a bench or something, I want to take him to places on rainy days that aren’t the fucking park to feed the ducks for the 900000000009th time... I just want my life back. And I’m tired of if anyone says that you inevitably get someone else reminding you you’re not dead so should be grateful.

Yeah, I’m not dead... but this isn’t really living anymore, is it?

I went on Universal Credit at the end of December. Its just a bit rubbish I'd have rather been in work but it just wasn't possible with the lingering covid symptoms. I'm job hunting but its such an odd time

Also seriously struggling. It feels like life has no colour. I am keeping my eyes on the horizon because this is absolutely going to get better but it doesn't mean that it isn't very tough for now. I feel very starved of connecting properly with other people.

Totally fed up here too. I'm living alone, my relationship just ended and children have all left home. Thank God for my two cats.

I can't wait for better weather, fed up of the cold. Also hoping then at least we'll be able to meet people outside for coffee etc.

I wake up every day with a knot in my stomach, just lonely and sad.

Yeah, I’m not dead... but this isn’t really living anymore, is it?

This is how I feel. I’m not living any life. We’re not. I’m just feeding us all on repeat until such times as we can leave the house together and have a nice day out.

Sorry everyone on this thread is feeling down or struggling.
I’m another one feeling depressed at the moment. I think it’s hit home with my baby turning 1 in a few weeks and feeling sad about how her first year has turned out.
Feel bad for her stuck in the house all the time and I’m struggling as she’s so whingy and probably bored.
Then there’s trying to homeschool my 7 year old who moans and resists any attempt of getting her to do any work. Not sure it’s worth the battle anymore.
Feel like I’m just surviving at the moment.

It’s a big pile of shit. What a crap existence. People will give up soon though and one way or another it will be over.

Sorry there are so many feeling like this.

Feeling so down today. I’m a teacher who is really struggling to teach online, everything takes forever and I miss the kids so much. Am working so so many hours. Trying to homeschool my own child and provide company for him as I’m an only child. House is a mess and I’ve put on so much weight.
I’ve been shielding since March and have started to get really resentful the last few days of non frontline healthy back office nhs workers who are posting all over sm that they have had the vaccine when they all work at home :-( It’s not like me to be so bitter but am just so fed up of being scared of leaving my child alone if I die :-(
Thanks OP, feel better after getting off my chest. Hugs to all xxx

I'm really struggling today

I was quite close to the drastic option in the last lockdown. I don't feel that at the moment but I feel like if I could spend the next year pased out drunk, I would

I'm scared every time I get on the Tube to do care visits for mum. I'm scared to spend the night, which is legally permitted, in case they suspend the Tube

I have weird dreams and feel sick today

To top it off, some paperwork might have gone awry with my late father's estate and I still have nightmares about the last few weeks of his life. By itself, I would have coped, but on top of lockdown, it's too much.

Thank you for this thread OP.

*scared of the police on the Tube, to clarify. Haven't seen any yet but it's bound to happen.

scared of the police on the Tube, to clarify. Haven't seen any yet but it's bound to happen.

Extremely unlikely and what do you think they’d do anyway? Go and stay with your mum - you are letting your anxiety take over.

I’m having a cry tonight too, I work in an ASN school so I’ve been working all week, I’ve been spat at everyday, kicked in the shins, hit, nipped, had my privates and breasts nipped and grabbed the point I have bruises. We don’t full out forms anymore as that’s all we would do and nothing ever gets done about it anyway. There’s been a lot of to and growing with parents wanting the school open as normal and whether it’s safe to do so numbers wise too.

My DH is at home with my 4 DC he’s working full time and trying to homeschool them round it, he’s really struggling. He’s been at home since beginning of March and usually goes to the gym or runs everyday to get out but can’t even do that as the weather is so bad. DD1 is panicking about her lack of exams, DD2 is so lazy and does nothing.

And of course there’s the constant worry of me bringing covid into the house and DH or I getting unwell. Life just seems pretty rubbish right now.