Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Covid

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

Older vaccinated people and shopping

65 replies

likeamillpond · 14/01/2021 17:45

My Father had his first vacine last week and now wants me to start taking him to the supermarket to do his shopping.
I have been doing all of his shoppuing for him since the first lockdown.
I'm usually in and out in less than 30 mins, having done his and my shopping. I'm also extremely careful.
He usually takes an hour minimum.

He's now informed me that he wants to resume shopping himself (with me taking him) because
" I've had my jab and I'm 70% safe now"

AIBU to feel a bit miffed that he doesn't care or it hasn't clicked, that by wandering round the supermarket he will be putting my health at risk (I'm fifties so not vacinated yet)

I understand that elderly people are desperate to get out now, but something doesn't sit right.
People have worked really hard to protecf their elderly relative.s.
ItAIBU to want to have the same consideration shown to me? To just wait a few more weeks until ive had my vaccinations.

Anybody else with this same problem?

OP posts:
Signoramarella · 14/01/2021 17:47

Drop him off. Pick him up afterwards. I do same for my mum. She's 78, I'm 48. She's had the Jab. Why wouldn't you want help your dad?

WankPuffins · 14/01/2021 17:48

My dads friends have all had it (he hasn't as he's been in hospital and is having an operation got cancer Monday), but they now all think they are invincible.

They have been calling me for updates on him and have been telling me about thier poker nights resuming, shopping trips, now they can see all their family again.

They haven't got the memo that they can still get covid and pass it on.

Lemons1571 · 14/01/2021 17:48

Just tell him supermarkets are insisting on one in one out solo shopping for everyone’s safety. So he is welcome to go alone, totally up to him, but you won’t be able to accompany him.

If he comes back with “but I’ve had the vaccine” you can then say “my safety is important too”. And leave it at that.

Up to him if he goes alone. You are under no obligation to do the taking.

WankPuffins · 14/01/2021 17:49

*for cancer on Monday

Original poster
likeamillpond · 14/01/2021 17:50

@Signoramarella

Drop him off. Pick him up afterwards. I do same for my mum. She's 78, I'm 48. She's had the Jab. Why wouldn't you want help your dad?
Ive been helping him for a year. Of course I like to help him
OP posts:
Original poster
likeamillpond · 14/01/2021 17:52

@WankPuffins

My dads friends have all had it (he hasn't as he's been in hospital and is having an operation got cancer Monday), but they now all think they are invincible.

They have been calling me for updates on him and have been telling me about thier poker nights resuming, shopping trips, now they can see all their family again.

They haven't got the memo that they can still get covid and pass it on.

You've put it better than me.

I would just like him to wait just a few more weeks.

OP posts:
daisypond · 14/01/2021 17:52

@WankPuffins

My dads friends have all had it (he hasn't as he's been in hospital and is having an operation got cancer Monday), but they now all think they are invincible.

They have been calling me for updates on him and have been telling me about thier poker nights resuming, shopping trips, now they can see all their family again.

They haven't got the memo that they can still get covid and pass it on.

Gosh, that is shocking - don’t they realise the lockdown rules still apply to them? And that other people are still vulnerable? I don’t know any over-80s who have been even offered an appointment yet, so there is a while before even vulnerable people are relatively safe.
TheGoodEnoughWife · 14/01/2021 17:53

There is another thread very similar with a lady and her mother.

Has he been shielding as in had a letter from the doctor to say he should shield?
If not then yes he should be able to do his own shopping.

There is no good reason for him not to since there will be lots of people in the shop that also haven't been vaccinated - do you think any of those shouldn't be there?

There is a limit to how many people can be in the store. Him being there will not make it any more crowded.

Janonomouse · 14/01/2021 17:53

I believe that, a week or so after the first shot, the vaccine becomes a little more than 50% effective (rising to 95% after the second shot). I don't think he should be going shopping now tbh.

WankPuffins · 14/01/2021 17:54

@likeamillpond I totally understand where you are coming from.

WankPuffins · 14/01/2021 17:55

@daisypond they have always carried on as normal to be honest.

My dad is alone so in our bubble. We used to have to make him self isolate before coming to stay as he was far more of a risk to us with all the socialising.

Original poster
likeamillpond · 14/01/2021 17:55

@TheGoodEnoughWife

There is another thread very similar with a lady and her mother.

Has he been shielding as in had a letter from the doctor to say he should shield?
If not then yes he should be able to do his own shopping.

There is no good reason for him not to since there will be lots of people in the shop that also haven't been vaccinated - do you think any of those shouldn't be there?

There is a limit to how many people can be in the store. Him being there will not make it any more crowded.

I'm pleased to hear different views.
OP posts:
WankPuffins · 14/01/2021 17:58

All my dads friends have had theirs - just outside London. All had first jab over the past ten days, 85+ years (and still partying and poker nights, part of me is Grin, but they are putting themselves at risk).

notalwaysalondoner · 14/01/2021 18:08

To look at it from another perspective - these people are extremely elderly (you don't say how old your father is but I guess over 80 due to the priority list), have largely put their lives on hold for nearly a year, and have a lot less time left than most of us. Maybe they just want to get back to a sense of normality and are comfortable with the 70% risk. I know you can say that's selfish and they should be thinking about the risk of infecting others, but at that age they probably want to make the most of the time they have left being able to actually do things like go to the supermarket and play poker...

I don't think I could refuse, just explain the risks, and drop him off (not go in with him).

Redrivershore · 14/01/2021 18:23

Both go in, shop separately, when you have finished go and wait in the car for him, take a book or magazine to read if he is likely to be a while

Redcherries · 14/01/2021 18:37

I’m shielded, not being able to do my own shopping, get out and about is so so hard. I can write a list but I’d give good money over bad to be able to go food shopping. Even after my vaccine I won’t be able too. I feel like a bloody toddler, I have to ask people to get me what i want and need.

I can see where your dad is coming from, I can also see where you are coming from. Personally I’d wait in the car with my phone and read, let him have his wild food shop trip, it’ll do his mental health some good!

HappydaysArehere · 14/01/2021 18:42

It takes 3 weeks to build up to a 70/80 % immunity. (Pfizer)This is the fear that the vaccinated will consider they can go out and about with impunity. My dd’s friend told her that someone in her office got Covid after being vaccinated a few days before. We have an appointments next week and we intend to be extra careful for three weeks and then careful afterwards. Even when the lockdown is lifted we should all continue with masks and hand washing etc. Perhaps your father does t read around the subject. Can you not persuade him leave the shopping until his three weeks are up and then to be careful.

Uhtredswoman · 14/01/2021 18:58

@Redcherries

I’m shielded, not being able to do my own shopping, get out and about is so so hard. I can write a list but I’d give good money over bad to be able to go food shopping. Even after my vaccine I won’t be able too. I feel like a bloody toddler, I have to ask people to get me what i want and need.

I can see where your dad is coming from, I can also see where you are coming from. Personally I’d wait in the car with my phone and read, let him have his wild food shop trip, it’ll do his mental health some good!

@Redcherries can I ask why not? Genuine question and not trying to be goady - I am also shielding and have been told by my HCP that I can go back to work after the vaccine (primary school so significantly more risky than food shopping!).
movingonup20 · 14/01/2021 19:12

Remind him it's 4 weeks before immunity has really built

WaxOnFeckOff · 14/01/2021 19:18

I'd read the other thread, it's your dad's decision, he is of less risk to everyone else than probably every person in that store and he is entitled not to be treated like a toddler.

If he is happy with any risk to himself then he should go. It will be nice for him to choose his own food (like other people get to do). And agree that he might not have many years left and the impact of losing nearly a whole year will be more significant on him than it will on those of us in 30s/40s and 50s.

middleager · 14/01/2021 19:22

My in laws (70s and 80s) have not been locked away for a year. They've been here there and everywhere during lockdown due to boredom. I think there's a misconception that all those in their 70s and 80s are locked away being careful. My own parents have not stayed in much either and have not been careful (such is their choice as independent adults, before anybody jumps down my throat) .

The in laws have had the vaccine now and are planning their hols.

mynameiscalypso · 14/01/2021 19:23

My 95 year old grandfather has been going out on the bus to get his shopping now he's had his vaccine. He's the most intelligent person I know and it's totally his choice. He was shielding during the first lockdown but now wants to be out and about.

lunar1 · 14/01/2021 19:26

This is going to be a major issue. Those of us that are going to be last in the list for the vaccine will be at more risk as there will be so many people out and about who stop following guidelines. The vaccine is too new to know that if they can still pass it on.

Hospitals will still get overwhelmed if lots of working age people continue to catch coved.

lovemirage · 14/01/2021 19:30

What is it with shopping that makes it so desirable? I hate shopping and have had deliveries for years. Going to Tesco wouldn't be my idea of fun after months of staying in.

lovemirage · 14/01/2021 19:32

@lunar1 I think so too. They won't stay at home.

Swipe left for the next trending thread