Totally broken today (lockdown fatigue with toddlers)

[user2021]

I'm just totally broken today. I can't go on much more like this, nothing to do and no where to go with very small children.

I'm a SAHM and we live in a flat.

Back in the spring lockdown I had a 13m old and a just-turned-2 year old. It was horrific. I cried most days. I probably only got through it because the weather was nice and we could play outside.

This time, DC1 has just turned 3 and DC2 is almost 2. DC1 goes to preschool 3 mornings a week 9-12. But that's it. I still have DC2 with me all the time and both children from 12noon onwards. My DH is trying to work from home but at least he's around to share the load when he can but he is self employed and his business has tanked during the course of the pandemic so is working all hours to keep a roof over our head.

Today, I broke. The TV has been on from 7am. We got out for 30mim dog walk (in the rain) in the morning and 1hr walk this afternoon (in the rain) and everyone was miserable. DC2 didn't even want to get out of the buggy, despite dressed in a warm puddle suit and wellies, ready for jumping in puddles. She's had enough of this all too I guess.

I can't do this much longer. I'm done. I miss soft play, and play groups, and museums, and play dates, and petting zoos, and events, and attractions.

This has been my life for almost a year now. I'm broken :(

My two are the same age and I work part time for the break. It's so lovely even though my job is dire.
You must be fucking wonder woman to not have the TV on, during normal times mine's on most of the time. I try to feed them healthy food but don't forget, vitamins are there to help too.

My DC are older and I don't think I would have coped at all if they had been young.

I admire any parent that is looking after younger DC in lockdown. You all deserve a medal

I know this thread was born out of your despair OP, but I'm so glad you wrote it. Knowing others out there muddling along like me has helped so much today, all the comments have been amazing (bar the SAHM one which was not) and I hope you have had a better day too

@Idratherberude are u working from home ? I work part time 2 days and don't find it a break at all :( considering getting a job that doesn't allow home working for an actual break out of the house .

I have a 1 & 2 year old it is bloody hard work!!!
Yeah I have the tv on all day! They eat crap more than I would like to admit (mostly 2 year old)
It's hard being stuck behind 4 walls day in day out...
Just want to let you know your not alone in this and wine is your friend when the kids go to bed
Wine & chocolate! It's what's got me through I think... ohh and peppa pig!

It’s so reassuring reading this thread to know I’m not alone in feeling a bit at the end of my rope locked down with two very small children - but also so sorry OP and many others are struggling too. It is relentless and monotonous, especially at this time of year, with so many of the opportunities for entertainment/fun and solidarity with other parents/distraction/OPTIONS and FREEDOM gone. I have been very stoical through all this, making the most of nature, my lovely home, my dog, my gorgeous family, counting my blessings blah blah blah, but am close to feeling very done now.

Stuff I’m proactively doing to keep the will alive is jettisoning guilt about screen time etc. (who the eff cares honestly? We’re so hard on ourselves these days) and making sure to do some solo exercise (yoga mostly) as much as possible.

Courage to us all! I truly think this is strengthening stuff in the long term, but don’t let anyone undermine how hard it is right now.

You have my sympathy op. I'm finding it hard and only got one child (Nearly 2 and a half) and live in a house not a flat. It's hard and I miss all the toddler groups, library etc like crazy

Thanks for the thread, it sounds like you’re all doing amazing jobs. I definitely second navigating a route around squabbling and tantrums and being kind to yourself... I had the great idea of potty training dc3 in the first lockdown since we were in anyway.... I don’t recommend that.

I can't help much, but I just wanted to say I feel similar. I have a 10 week old and a DD who is 2. We see nobody. Go nowhere except the playground. DH works out of the house. I dont have a support bubble (no family around). Its really really hard. I rely so much on the TV. DD loves to throw tantrums. We have pulled her out of nursery so no break at all. Some days DH comes home and I am just sobbing while cooking dinner. It's just pure frustration, the feeling of failing my DDs, loneliness, missing my family (they live abroad so I have zero idea when they will see my DDs again). I have found that throwing myself like some demented, positive demon into toddler activities has helped. A thread here called Trapped Toddler Parents has given me a lot of ideas. Trying to find time to myself in the evening, even if its crocheting while holding the baby, helps. Also, I have quit social media, which has meant to dont see any more perfect parents with their perfect kids and perfect crafts and perfect baking, while I struggle to get the wash up done.

It's all just one day at a time and the hope that it will get better at some point. Put it this way, once this is done, we can all say we are superhero parents. This is fu*ng tough.

Oh this is the thread I mentioned

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4105179-trapped-toddler-parents-of-the-fabled-winter-2020-2021-puddle-suits-at-the-ready-hello-christmas

Also I found some good ideas here...

fiveminutemum.com/

@TulesDana You sound like you’re doing an amazing job. Don’t be so hard on yourself

I’m a single mum as well, with two year old twins. Doing this alone is SO hard. I have my parents to bubble with so I’m lucky but the loneliness is a killer. I’d give my right arm just to have another human to speak to once the DC are in bed

I’m also carrying a lot of guilt about this being my children’s life now. Ironically they are as happy as Larry! I still beat myself up though!

Solidarity. It’s tough. In the first lockdown we had loads of fun with DD (then at preschool) - lots of baking, themed days, treasure hunts and time in the garden as it was such nice weather. DS was born in April and DH had a month or so of paternity leave so it all felt manageable.
This time round is a whole different story- trying to keep up with homeschooling DD (4 bloody live sessions a day plus activities!) and running after DS who is crawling and can’t be left for a second without injuring himself. The weather is crap so we’ve literally made it outside once this week. I’m simultaneously stressed and bored- every day is like Groundhog Day. I had such a lovely maternity leave with DD and feel bad for DS that I haven’t been able to do the same nice things with him (even though he won’t remember any of it, obviously.)

Guess what!! cake for dinner and tv at 7am wont kill em lol. Especially if it gives you breathing space.

Feed them whatever makes your life easier, go for a nap at lunchtime, let them stay up late, have a bath with loads of bubbles and plonk em in after painting their bodies with paint...Face paints,arts n crafts, growing things, games, hide n seek, make a tent from a blanket and give em goodies in the tent...

Jesus, you are not looking to be parent of the year, just one who gets thru this with you and your kids alive and a little sane.......Stop being so hard on yourself please

@thequeenoftarts growing things ! I hadn't thought of that. I have some cress seeds and dried marrowfat peas for pea shoots. I wonder if we can do it on a windowsill now....will look it up

Apparently it's fine they just need as much light as possible !

2.5 year old & 15 month old here. It's bloody hard work. Mine are not interested in colouring in or crafts. They try to eat play doh. I therefore find these tasks stressful. Therefore it's TV & toys. I don't care about TV time as my DS has learnt so much from certain programmes (he has only just started talking in the last few months - never been to nursery). They both have new toys from Christmas which is keeping them entertained most days but they are usually climbing the walls by 3pm (I detest late afternoon). Walks tricky as 2.5 year old wants to walk but runs off & 15 month old cries due to possibly being too cold. Plus very wintery up here with deep snow.

Hoping & praying for some normality to return in Spring. Just household mixing would help me with Grandparents & Auntie & cousin visits again. I miss them & their help. We are lucky to be in a childcare bubble whilst I work so the kids do get a change of scene 3 days a week & I get to see my mam for a short period, which I appreciate so much.

Hugs for everyone & it's nice to hear we are not alone

[quote hassletassle]@thequeenoftarts growing things ! I hadn't thought of that. I have some cress seeds and dried marrowfat peas for pea shoots. I wonder if we can do it on a windowsill now....will look it up[/quote]
Anything can be grown on a window sill, cress, mustard, peas, onions, Flowers..Use old egg boxes and soil to grow em in, tissues too

Bu a flipping goldfish or two if needs be.......Have to be good to take turns to feed him/her, stars for the best behaved muchkin, make rice krispie buns,

See if you can buy playdoh online, play twister ( too young I know but again who cares)
Race snails and let them go again.
Indoor gymnastics
Simple simon says... be quiet and hands on head, touch toes, put cushion on floor, jump on sofa, go to sleep, close your eyes, snore.
Read a book or 20 of them :)
Make pies for dinner
Make ice cubes for drinks
Make ice pops with ribena or orange juice
Hand prints from clay
Is there a wall they can draw and hand print on?
Dress up
Painting and pictures
Movies when tired, picnic lunches, tent under a blanket
Park treasure hunt, find a stone, snail, leaf, twig
Park tell me when you see a man,woman, red coat, adapt for little ones
Marshmallows with hot chocolate
Icing a bun
Colour pictures

Try limit 20 mins - 30 mins to an activity as boredom sets in and maybe 3 - 4 a day max with a walk

So up at 7am, allowing 30 mins for each thing 45 mins if your really lucky lol
brekkie, dress, play time for half an hour, colouring
story time, nap time at 10.30 - 11.30 am or lunch then nap
Help mammy clean the house 12 - 12.30 - 1 pm
Dusters and help hoovering ( yes they are tiny but they will help)

lunch time
wash dishes
Tv time for 30 mins and time for mammy's lunch
out for a walk, feed the ducks
home, play a game
Paint and bath time,
help make dinner
face time granny and grandad/cousins/friends
Play in a band, wooden spoons and tins and pots ( sorry neighbours)
Make a picture for granny and grandad
Trade an hour with daddy, you get out for a walk by yourself and let him do the same later
Play with toys and unwind
Tv time
tea time
bedtime

Some ideas will be useful some wont, but hopefully they might help a bit

Ask what nursery do to keep em occupied too and steal ideas where you can

Genuinely feels like this will never end.

When can I go to a soft play? Or take my children to a cafe? Or go to a playgroup so I don't have to stare at the same toys we have day in day out? Or just do something other than go to the playground?! Urghhhhhh.

I'm off to take them to the playground now. Nothing else to do, but at least it's not raining (just very fucking cold)

I have been focusing on the vaccine numbers, thinking each day is one step closer to normality for us. I have never longed for a soft play so much. Church baby and toddler groups were my sanity on my last maternity leave. I have also taken up Joe Wicks, and got back into Yoga with youtube classes, to try and have something to look forward to in the evening.

Another voice adding to the cacophony, you are not alone! I'm swapping between helping schooling 11DD plus a non verbal 2yr old and a 5 month old. It's shit. I am a SAHP, albeit a lazy one. We loved lockdown in the spring and summer - we have a huge garden, DH wfh, so it was bbq dinners and bimbling around outside all day. Paddling pool, trampoline, tie dye, ride ons and gardening. What's not to like.

This time is hell. It's too cold and wet. 2yr old lands in the mud 20 times a walk. 11yr needs to get on with her work but does need me around. Baby is BF so I'm under him on the sofa. Pj masks, Duggee and paw patrol on bloody repeat, plus toys everywhere, some baking and a lot of baths. It's dull but all we can do. Waiting for spring with bated breath.