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Supermarkets need to get real!

456 replies

Justa47 · 11/01/2021 17:32

When will supermarkets stop being a day out and only allow single parents in with kids and not families and couples?

Why doesn’t one parent wait in the car?

OP posts:
ExpatAl · 13/01/2021 01:12

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

A lockdown means leaving home for essential reasons. Shopping as a couple is not essential.

Not for you perhaps but for many people it will be.

Of course it will be. I had already said that,
Graphista · 13/01/2021 03:18

@Hawaii99 that's an astonishingly bad example of whataboutery of course staff should be acting safely too but it's a drop in the ocean compared to customers behaviour

The Police don't have the Staff levels to deal with maintaining public order.

This is why I'd support bringing in armed forces to support police. It was ridiculed with nonsense hyperbole on another thread but Military police could be used to bolster numbers and provide support

I'm shocked at your experience with door men certainly not the same likelihood where I am.

What I don't understand is that every single person on this thread is using a pc or device, yet so many seem to be unable or unwilling to shop using delivery or click and collect options.

Having an internet connection is not the only factor in this, plus as I said in earlier post this is actually the LAST thing those of us NEEDING to use delivery or click & collect need to happen - people who are perfectly able to shop in person using these options, we're already finding it difficult to get slots!

Even if you can't get that from a supermarket, there are a lot of small suppliers locally who will deliver fruit and veg and meat.

Again, not always available to people, I looked into such options during first lockdown when I was having trouble getting deliveries. I live in a deprived county where the majority of residents are rurally located. Not all supermarkets deliver here anyway. The smaller independent suppliers did advertise but were quickly overwhelmed with orders, they can't/won't deliver to certain addresses/types of address eg I'm in a flat with door entry, they won't deliver to me. They won't deliver to certain "rough" areas, and won't deliver beyond a certain mileage.

Graphista · 13/01/2021 03:20

It's also quite depressing in 2021 to read about so many women who can't drive

There are many reasons people don't drive, cost (it's bloody expensive to learn these days and the test is quite hard so in most cases being "taught" by a relative or friend won't be sufficient. Plus it's expensive to own and run a car especially for youngsters with high insurance costs, high unemployment/underemployment and poor wages also a factor, cv has led to over 1mn redundancies so far), also medical reasons, I have no car at the moment as I had to stop driving several years ago due to medication I was on at that time, there are also certain medical conditions which prohibit driving.

@burnoutbabe Is also right in big cities it can be sensible not to have a car as its expensive and difficult to find parking and public transport is generally of good quality, frequent and cheap. My lot are from glasgow originally. My parents are drivers as dad was army and they often were living very rurally but their siblings don't all drive as the ones that stayed in glasgow it's far easier and cheaper to use public transport.

When I lived in cities before I could drive I either used a trolley and train/bus or got train/bus to supermarket and taxi back

Graphista · 13/01/2021 03:21

Regarding those FALSELY claiming to have exemptions to certain rules, other countries have limited that issue by those who are genuinely exempt have paperwork/credit card type documentation proving their exemption. We seem ridiculously averse to this kind of thing in Uk though even when not doing so is causing fatalities as in current climate.

Personally I don't think the lanyards should be simply so easily purchasable, they should be restricted to being bought from maybe council offices with supporting evidence from Drs etc?

And I speak as someone WITH hidden disability myself.

Why do the vulnerable people need to physically go to the shop? Surely it's in their interest to limit risk of exposure and the able adult supporting them to do the shop for them? You can browse the items available on the supermarkets website or app in most cases, in others (eg Lidl, aldi, yellow label items) surely in most cases you can communicate by phone/text to figure that out?

Seems to me in the vast majority of scenarios that there are solutions that are NOT 2/3/4/5+ people doing the in person shop for that household.

Eg

People still like to browse that's a want not a need with the possible exception re reduced products, and it's possible to "browse" ahead of the in person shop online, from a quick google just now it appears even aldi now have click and collect and delivery options (though not quite the same method as other supermarkets. Happy to be corrected if I've misunderstood)

Shopping is treated like a religion in this country god forbid people actually be expected to treat it like the practicality it is.

I'm far from privileged in the ways I think you mean @JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

I'm disabled, no support people at the moment for this kind of thing, on benefits.

I do think certain people on benefits need help learning how to budget and plan ahead and I'm aware there are others falling through the cracks/being let down by UC cock ups etc - yet another reason UBI would have been a MUCH better plan for current circumstances

Your flippant attitude to those of us wanting to PRESERVE life is disgusting to me.

Your arguing to death on allergies is also not my experience (not only as a lay person with relatives with serious food allergies but also as an ex hcp) of the reality. Most people with allergies to consider have a pretty good idea of which foods/brands/products to avoid and has been said MULTIPLE times and you've wilfully ignored, ingredients can be checked ahead of doing the shop online, even when they come across a new product while doing the shop they'll either not take the risk and stick to safe favourites or are usually very quickly and efficiently able to check the ingredients. They're not laboriously "browsing" every item they pick up and reading all the ingredients lists! The most common allergens are generally "flagged" on the products they're in too.

The hyperbole is unnecessary, but I do expect for the sake of all of us for people to be able to efficiently and without faff do their supermarket shop in such a way as to minimise the risk to themselves and others. This is what's been happening in other countries who are managing the pandemic better. That is NOT asking so much.

Also not sure how browsing, not touching anything but looking with your eyes, increases risk of contamination?

Fairly sure you're just being goady now.

Faffing and "browsing" means more time spent in the store, increasing the risk of contaminating or being contaminated, especially if masks aren't being worn - this is hardly rocket science, you clearly possess some level of intelligence that means I don't believe for a second you couldn't work this out for yourself

We should be able to enforce it

Totally agree

During current times, sensible people want to get in and out of the supermarket as quickly as they can

Exactly! Faffing and dithering isn't necessary and at the moment increases the risks to us all.

I'm actually tested weekly due to my job now does that mean your job brings you into regular contact with the most vulnerable to covid?!

Because if so your attitude on this thread is even more disgraceful.

@Flaxmeadow sadly that will be the case for too many (Men not trusting women to shop), my dad was like that, only reason he no longer does it is he physically can't, mum still has to show him receipts

@Flaxmeadow Also agree with your short list of the options that would cover most circumstances

@Littleelf1 then why can't the other able (?) adult do the shop alone if you're not up to it?

Some of you are scarily lacking in compassion! How is your opinion which increases the risk to all "compassionate" regarding an "outdoor pursuit" that is pretty worrying if that's the only idea a carer can come up with!

The solutions myself and MANY others have suggested - which you have as far as I can tell almost always rejected even the IDEA of - may not suit everyone but they WOULD work for a lot of people which would reduce numbers, crowding etc.

You'll never eliminate all risk, people will find loopholes (generally entitled arseholes with no compassion for any but themselves and in this case that's not even logically true!) but we can reduce it a lot more than is currently happening.

Shop staff should be more assertive with these selfish people which as the retail staff posting on the thread have pointed out on numerous occasions puts them at risk of verbal and even physical assault. Retail managing are the ones who REALLY have to step up here and provide the correct robust support for the staff trying to implement and enforce rules that the management are blithely advertising.

More security staff and good quality security staff are needed. It's not simply a question of being physically imposing, they need to have the right assertive but non inflammatory way of acting with customers flouting rules.

As I said this is the area my mum worked in before retiring. She had one occasion where a dept manager asked her why she had employed an older chap who was less physically imposing over a younger, tall, well built guy. She explained the younger guy had no experience in the security arena and had the attitude that he thought he could just use his physique to intimidate people into doing as asked. The older guy was a retired police officer, in addition he was softly spoken but self assured and had experience working security at concerts since leaving the police force. She was proven right on both counts. The younger guy was taken on by another local supermarket and an incident got out of hand and he ended up charged with assault - he wasn't guilty but came a cropper with a local well known shoplifters tactics. The ex police officer worked very well at mums place and was still there when she retired and took over her position which he still has to this day. He's dealt with many "chancers" and awkward customers in that time and has never had anything close to the difficulty that younger guy had, even when dealing with the same people. He has a similar approach to hiring as mum did and that store by local sm commentary seems to be considered the "safest" in covid terms as they've been keeping safe practice enforced/encouraged throughout, the manager is also not afraid to bar people who don't like how they run things.

Funny how people are perfectly capable of behaving sensibly when there are likely and immediate consequences if they don't! Eh?

And no the shop is not suffering a lack of custom as a result, far from it!

Actually the management of any business can reserve the right to refuse entry. So yeah they could stop them if they wanted to.

Exactly! Too many managers seem to have forgotten this, plus some are not being properly supported by higher management.

The "ads" that Sainsburys Et al are putting out don't necessarily reflect how they treat managers if they try to enforce such rules.

Sainsburys in particular ime this past year have been absolutely dire in their attitude to and treatment of disabled, elderly and otherwise vulnerable customers. Their immediate response to the 1st lockdown was to close down their site, app, email and phone lines. Which of course made customers extremely anxious!

Very gradually re-opened things but they caused a lot of difficulty for a lot of customers including myself, cancelled and "lost" orders, ridiculously hard to get slots which they were only releasing haphazardly, literally hours on hold on the phone lines (I think I was over 5 hours on occasion thank fuck for speaker option!) and a couldn't care less attitude when one did get through. Their sm at the time was full of customers who'd had orders cancelled, messed up or even on at least one occasion delivered twice! Customers were reporting drivers poor attitudes etc too.

Yes it was a tough time - for everyone - but the other supermarkets didn't behave this way so no excuse for them to do so.

Re "what to do with my kids" myself and other respondents have been clear from the beginning that those with GENUINE need to shop with more than one person are of course perfectly acceptable to do so. The vast majority of posts have been regarding groups of ADULTS shopping together which in most cases is not necessary.

You seem to misunderstand the parameters of disability discrimination law too. There are times and circumstances when people ARE required to prove they have a disability and it's not discrimination to do so and legislation can be and is altered when new circumstances arise making disclosure of status necessary, which I for one think should be the case here.

It needn't be detailed a simple credit card style card issued to those with disabilities could be implemented that didn't detail the nature of the disability but simply provided proof where needed for certain exemptions and concessions.

Would prevent liars from getting away with claiming exemptions too - these people are a stain on disability Equality progress anyway.

mizzmelli · 13/01/2021 04:19

My husband is greedy he would buy too much. He would not know what to buy. LIST LIST LIST ffs is he a non functioning adult!!

Nonamesavail · 13/01/2021 07:10

I live quite rural. Limited choice of super markets. Tesco is booked up till February. So people won't have a choice but to go.

Yorkshiretolondon · 13/01/2021 07:45

@Spacemonkey2016

It's not the parent taking their child with them that's the problem. It's the perfectly capable adult couples that feel the need to shop in pairs. Young children can't be left at home. Your 50 year old wife/husband can.
Yep! I see a fair few couples like their in a bloody date lol
ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia · 13/01/2021 08:51

@ Graphista good long post as pretty much spot on with Illuminating examples and well thought out. Good to read of your observations, interpretation and analysis. Most useful, balanced and thought provoking post by a long shot as a credit to this thread and for some (perhaps trolling one dimensional posters) to take note! Thank you!

Sirzy · 13/01/2021 08:57

Graphista - fantastic post!

Some people can’t differentiate between preference and personal wants over need and are unwilling to make changes to reflect where we are now.

My sister has severe allergies she has actually found online shopping so much easier when it comes to checking ingredients and she just says no substitutions or sends back if needed. Actually after nipping into Asda last week to find they now have a counter which cooks with peanut oil online is much safer for her!

We all need to adjust how we live at the moment

tinytemper66 · 13/01/2021 10:03

Just took vulnerable adult to Tesco during the allocated hour. No queues and only about 30 people in a big Tesco extra. Many of the aisles closed off -clothes, electrical, entertainment. We were half an hour from going in to leaving in the car. So we were very quick.

MerciSeat · 13/01/2021 10:08

@tinytemper66

Just took vulnerable adult to Tesco during the allocated hour. No queues and only about 30 people in a big Tesco extra. Many of the aisles closed off -clothes, electrical, entertainment. We were half an hour from going in to leaving in the car. So we were very quick.
Are you in Wales? I know they're closing off some of the aisles there but wondered if they're doing it elsewhere, too.
RedToothBrush · 13/01/2021 10:36

No one seems to even consider click and collect in these type of threads. Its always completely ignored.

Also we talk about places where there is low availability of slots. This isnt true everywhere.

Do check if there is availability where you live. Don't assume there isn't any.

Whenever ive looked theres always pretty much slots available for click and collect the entire day even 1 or 2 days before (Christmas excepted and even then it was easy to get slots). This isnt in the middle of nowhere so the demand must be there.

I am booking at the last minute to ensure others can get them if they need still.

My point here is that actually given the government guidance is now to avoid going inside anywhere, if there is a huge amount of availability like there is in my area, there are a lot more people who could be doing click and collect but are choosing for whatever reason not to.

I do think where i am there is a resistance to this for no other reason than people don't want to. I don't know why. This isn't economic - in my immediate circle of local friends are all shopping in store - all could. They'd all easily buy more than the min spend.

If the supermarkets are sources of infection then making people aware of high availability of click and collect slots / delivery slots would be really useful. Just a sign at the doors of stores like this would be a good plan to discourage so many to shop instore.

Even reducing the numbers in store by a little where this is still possible protects those who are vulnerable and can't use online services. Less people = less opportunities for transmission.

Do anything you possibly can to aid this.

If you are going to the supermarket, check with local friends and neighbours if they need a loaf of bread or milk so they don't have to do a small top up shop. Even if they are able bodied, well off and capable.

All of it adds up and makes a difference.

tinytemper66 · 13/01/2021 10:39

@MerciSeat yes we are. I am not sure of it is just a Welsh thing. You could buy some baby clothes but nothing else x

tinytemper66 · 13/01/2021 10:46

When I shop I shop for 4 households. Today with the vulnerable adult we did some shopping for 2 of the other households. He was glad to be out of his very small flat with company as he is lonely and has been mugged recently, so felt safe shopping with someone else. He hadn't been out for 10 days. I don't know when I will take him again. Maybe in a few weeks. It isn't a regular thing.

MerciSeat · 13/01/2021 10:46

@RedToothBrush

No one seems to even consider click and collect in these type of threads. Its always completely ignored.

Also we talk about places where there is low availability of slots. This isnt true everywhere.

Do check if there is availability where you live. Don't assume there isn't any.

Whenever ive looked theres always pretty much slots available for click and collect the entire day even 1 or 2 days before (Christmas excepted and even then it was easy to get slots). This isnt in the middle of nowhere so the demand must be there.

I am booking at the last minute to ensure others can get them if they need still.

My point here is that actually given the government guidance is now to avoid going inside anywhere, if there is a huge amount of availability like there is in my area, there are a lot more people who could be doing click and collect but are choosing for whatever reason not to.

I do think where i am there is a resistance to this for no other reason than people don't want to. I don't know why. This isn't economic - in my immediate circle of local friends are all shopping in store - all could. They'd all easily buy more than the min spend.

If the supermarkets are sources of infection then making people aware of high availability of click and collect slots / delivery slots would be really useful. Just a sign at the doors of stores like this would be a good plan to discourage so many to shop instore.

Even reducing the numbers in store by a little where this is still possible protects those who are vulnerable and can't use online services. Less people = less opportunities for transmission.

Do anything you possibly can to aid this.

If you are going to the supermarket, check with local friends and neighbours if they need a loaf of bread or milk so they don't have to do a small top up shop. Even if they are able bodied, well off and capable.

All of it adds up and makes a difference.

C&C requires a minimum spend and a car.

And the government advice is not 'to avoid going inside anywhere'.

MerciSeat · 13/01/2021 10:49

[quote tinytemper66]@MerciSeat yes we are. I am not sure of it is just a Welsh thing. You could buy some baby clothes but nothing else x[/quote]
Ah I see. I'm in England and could understand the non-essential thing during the Welsh firebreak - only a few weeks so bearable. I just wonder if your lockdown goes on as long as ours looks set to if having all the 'non-essential' stuff unavailable will be reasonable. Couple of weeks without a kettle/socks/school shoes - fine. A few months - not so much.

tinytemper66 · 13/01/2021 11:04

@MerciSeat I did have to buy the person I care for a kettle last week. I just pur it kn the trolley and the cashier said nothing. It has become stricter since Monday so am.glad I picked it up when I did. The old one was leaking and I was worried he would scalded himself.

jwpetal · 13/01/2021 11:26

I don't have full strength in one arm due to an accident. I have tried to get delivery, but none available. I did take my daughter. She wore a mask and we repeatedly cleaned our hands.

RedToothBrush · 13/01/2021 11:29

You know what. We've down collective orders before with people too. To avoid extra charges.

No real reason why a lot more people can't do this either. Just needs organisation and planning. Aka a bit of effort.

Thats the problem. No one can be arsed.

RedToothBrush · 13/01/2021 11:30

The whole attitude of the country seems to be a bad one about what we cant do, rather than using brain cells to work out alternative ways of doing things which you CAN do.

Its really starting to fucking piss me off tbh.

RedToothBrush · 13/01/2021 11:32

Its just a massive list of excuses insteading of trying to come up with solutions.

Even if everyone cant do x, y or z they probably can do a, b or c.

The point is they don't want to. They don't want to try different things. They just want to whine and complain and find obstacles.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 13/01/2021 11:40

I’m a disabled single parent.. I normally go for option
A) online delivery (Tesco or I’ve had some of the boxes from HelloFresh). If there’s no slots available I try option
B) send a teenage dc (either they walk or I drive and wait outside in the car). However sometimes neither of those work and I need option
C) I go in with teenage dc who assist me with my wheelchair and with lifting or carrying.
I do all I can to mitigate risk, but I do think it’s ableist to say that’s not permitted.

Purplethrow · 13/01/2021 11:52

@jwpetal I have the same , left arm is very weak and can’t carry much, also due to an accident, I find I can still shop alone, nothing I buy is that heavy apart from the large box of cat food , so I ask for help with that, they also ask if you need help packing at the till.
I guess we’re all different though , but for me , I was determined to be as self sufficient as possible.

MerciSeat · 13/01/2021 12:05

@RedToothBrush

You know what. We've down collective orders before with people too. To avoid extra charges.

No real reason why a lot more people can't do this either. Just needs organisation and planning. Aka a bit of effort.

Thats the problem. No one can be arsed.

Oh for heaven's sake. Not everyone has people they can club together to do an order with. Not everyone lives in this mythical MN idyll where friends, family and obliging neighbours are on hand to help them out.

I'm sick to the back teeth of this 'If I can do it, so can you' sanctimonious crap. People's individual circumstances aren't taken into consideration and the feeling is 'you're just not trying hard enough'.

Step outside your own little bubble for a moment and use some imagination to think about how other people may live.

MerciSeat · 13/01/2021 12:08

@RedToothBrush

Its just a massive list of excuses insteading of trying to come up with solutions.

Even if everyone cant do x, y or z they probably can do a, b or c.

The point is they don't want to. They don't want to try different things. They just want to whine and complain and find obstacles.

Or (try to imagine this for a second) they can't.

Dear God.

The irony is you probably see yourself as a caring, kind person because (well done!) you have the means to do the things you tell others to do.

Newsflash: Not everyone is like you.