This for me is the lowest point in this whole saga... Am I alone?

[KitKat1985]

It just seems endless at this point. I'm a nurse so I see the misery covid causes, and am dealing first hand with the pressures on staffing etc so I'm not denying the need for it, but I just feel so empty at this point. I go home and have to watch my children be locked in again and I feel so desperately sad for them. Their lives are just so utterly joy-less. We were briefly able to visit the library just before Christmas and even that was us practically being martialled through, made to disinfect our hands and then asked to make book choices quickly and leave. I can't do anything with them now for the next forseeable weeks bar walk around the same bloody park again across from our house. They will be asking to go to the local farm and to play at Nanny's house again constantly, and I can't taken them. They're 6 & 4 - just at the age where Christmas is magical and I couldn't even take the to see Father Christmas. My 6 year old started school in Sept 2019 and has missed now months of schooling, with probably months more to be missed to come. She already has special needs and is developmentally behind. I try to do what I can on my days off in terms of home learning but the reality is I'm exhausted, and I'm not a special needs teacher, so I'm probably not doing a very good job. How long is it going to take to catch up on all this missed schooling? Is it even possible? I spoke to my Mum yesterday and she had tears in her eyes, telling me she just wants to see and hug her grandkids, and misses them so much. I can't plan anything fun like a holiday or even a day out, because things change so much. Only at the weekend we were being told to send the kids to school as normal and then on Monday get told they are shut again until at least Feb half term. It's DH's 40th birthday in a few weeks and we can't so anything bar get him a takeaway and a birthday cake. I had some lovely plans for this but they've all had to be scrapped. I get that things will eventually improve but I can't get this time back. The kids childhoods are just drifting by. Sorry for the moan. I know there are people worse off than us, and we're lucky to have stable jobs, and each other etc and I don't deny that. I just feel so sad today. I've been pretty resilient up until now but the past few days have broken me.

I feel exactly the same op. Trying my best to keep going for the sake of my dc, but this week I just feel anxious, stressed and tearful. I'm sorry others are feeling the same but this thread has helped me and made me realise I'm not alone. I tried to tell dh how I was feeling yesterday, but apparently I need to pull myself together as none of us are dead, we haven't lost our jobs and we have a nice home. I appreciate all those things but I just feel so sad all the time.

I agree with you. It is rubbish. I have zero confidence the Government will handle this with any competence. I do not trust anything they say any more. I feel worse for the kids. This is no life for them. They keep asking when things will change and I cannot answer that with any certainty. Working with kids at home is impossible. It just sucks all round.

I'm sorry everyone is struggling but I'm glad I'm not alone. Every time I've mentioned the worry about missed school/socialising people just reply with ' it'll be fine, kids will catch up, let her just play' ermmmm no, she's in reception, she needs to learn to read and write!!!
They and their kids might be fine but I'm not and neither is my daughter, she's bloody miserable already. Won't go for a walk or to the park as she's bored of them seeing as they've been done to death in recent months

This ^

I get so angry when people say the kids will catch up. No they damn well won't. Most dc have had one term of formal teaching, if they're lucky enough not to have had to isolate.

They won't catch up, this will leave some children at a long term detriment.

As well. I'm feeling pretty terrible. I'm having some very dark thoughts at times.

I myself can cope with this shit, what's depressing me is all that my dc are missing out on. I'm becoming very bitter and resentful at what they are having to sacrifice.

And no, playing games and going for walks with your mother does not make up for having an enormous chunk of your education and social life stolen from you. Especially when you're a hormonal pre teen.

I'm just glad that we made the most of the Summer.

Unlike the first time around this lockdown schools are supposed to teach. I have noticed a massive difference this time. First time weekly cut and past email with suggestions of a couple of websites for the entire week. This time proper structure lessons. More schools appear to have sorted this now.
Find out why your school will not teach?

On the other points - the vaccine is rolling out and the end is it sight - thank you for everything you do.

No I feel the same, my dd hates going to school (I'm a keyworker) and not being able to see her friends. I can't visit my mum in her dementia home. January is a crap month anyway made even worse by this.

I am hopeful that the lockdown may not end mid Feb, but I should imagine that if most vulnerable groups are vaccinated, children may at least be able to go back to school. It is only a few weeks away. There is still every chance that will happen. The gov have made it very clear they intend to prioritise schools over all else.

Wont I can handle it too the worst part is what has been taken away from children. All of them, I feel so much for posters who are upset about reception age on iPad instead of playing with friends. I would be too.

Losing exams. I still don’t get why since secondary is remote but this is a big blow.

The dc are actually ok so far I’m being positive and all that to buffer it.

Some people are happy and actively wanted it,I don’t get that view at all, but not here.

OP this is a very difficult time of year anyway. Weather has been cold and dank and miserable, the mornings are so dark and it's not easy to get out of bed. It's 8.15 and only really only getting light now!

And that's without everything that is going on. I suspect everyone is struggling to some degree.

I feel the same. Fed up of all the places online saying make the most of this time, bake with your kids, take them on walks etc. Just makes me feel guilty I can't do that because DH and I both work but are not keyworkers, so we need to use any spare minute to get the school work done. So stressed.

This time also feels a lot worse as last time it felt more like all the kids were in the same boat. This time a quarter of DD's class are still in school having lessons with a real teacher. Yes, DD gets a couple of online lessons a day but the rest of the time it's down to parents and we can't physically manage it all the time due to work. Although 2 parents are in the house, one is on calls most of the day, and one some of the day. Honestly I have been seriously thinking of quitting, but realistically it's not an option.

Not seen my family for a year now as they live too far away and not been able to leave the city I live in and get out into any countryside since the end of the summer due to bloody local lockdowns. Struggling to see an end in sight to all this.

Was honestly a lot more positive last time around but feel I've just been sapped of any positivity at this point. It's just gruelling. Trying to fake positivity in the day for my child but just crying in the evenings.

Totally agree, everyone is just so worn down and miserable now. Where’s the light at the end of the tunnel? It seems like it keeps being snatched away.
I also have zero faith in our government that the vaccine rollout is being handled properly, whereas when the news first broke of its approval everyone was so hopeful.